killed back and bis tonight week one pics!
I absolutely killed it in the gym tonight! im motivated beyond hell! hit back and bis hard tonight ! pics hour after gym im going to look like a beast after this cycle! tomorrow i hit legs and will hit the scale ! SIDE NOTE THE BACK LOOKS HORRIBLE HAVE TO START TANNING AGIAN ALSO IM starting month 3 in to accutane been getting bloods done blood work is fine all normal range liver enzymes, lipids, etc.... im looking to possibly throw some melatonin II later in the cycle never ran it but heard good things!
Major depression thank god im not in pct!
So today was a very pivotal day in my life as of march 26 the girl of my dreams we were engaged for one full year in committed relationship for 3! The past month there was tension between us she said she needed time etc, just want to be with family so she started staying at her house couple nites a week, i became suspicious i caught her in several lies when she told me she was staying at her parent and her car was no where to be found at her house pretty interesting! Im not a dumb man i was in love with her so i respected her and gave her time she wanted but thats what made me suspicious ! yet i continued to take it and deny reality so this past weekend went out with bunch of friends came home did email search in google of her email address and bam sex profiles on dating websites came up with pictures of her with the jewelry i bought her yet alone the ring! i wanted to not wake up and thought i was in a dream! so when i wake up the next day she text me saying just now that i love you etc happy easter.... little did she know what i found so i called her out she gave an excuse oh thats old etc... im like that makes it even worse yet i told her i was done and she was called me none stop begging me told me she sorry she still loves me etc she just needs time im trapped in hell it feels like cause i loved her and i was committed i had ampule opportunities to cheat and was faithful and this is what i get! its the biggest fuck you to me of all time she tell me she loves me still needs a break but the trust is gone no matter what she tells me yet i still feel for her but THIS HAS GIVEN E MOTIVATION TO JUST SAY FUCKIT EAT TRAIN AND SLEEP THE GYM IS WEAR I FORGET ABOUT EVERYTHING AND CAN NOT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ANYTHING DURING MY TRAING SESSION BUT ONCE I WALK OUT THAT GYM I JUST FEEL LIKE COMPLETE SHIT WOULD AND CAN USE SOME FRIENDLY ADVICE I KNOW TIME HEALS EVERYTHING BUT WE WHERE SET TO GET MARRIED IN DECEMBER AND I KNOW I CANT GO BACK TO HERE BUT I STILL FEEL FOR HER I DONET KNOW WHY MAYBE ITS CASUE I DONT KNOW MY SELF WOULD LOVE SOME ADVICE AND ON A SIE NOTE I WILL HIT SHOULDER HARDER THEN EVER TOMORROW NIGHT MORE DETERMINED THEN EVER !!!!
Hit shoulders hard felt good but still feeling down!
So today i hit shoulders hard in the gym tried to forget about my current personal life issue was feeling good after the gym then i took shower and started to sulk again i know its going to be a battle for me but i must be a man and get through this physcological war with myself! On a posotive note i went up another pound ! Im currently 219lbs starting was 215lbs i feel thicker and pumps are kicking in hard!
Week 2 back and bis, hiting hard trying to stay focused !
Well i just wrapped up my back and bis session for week 2 felt good strong like a bull the mental focus is there among the anger and depression from my private life but i left that outside them gym walked into my home and dominated ! Started with dead lifts absolutely smashed it ! focused and determined ! Upload some pics post work out meal consist of 3 piece grilled chicken 2 cups broccoli 1 onion couple cloves fresh garlic saut?ed in coconut oil and 1 cup white rice 2 cups brown and 1/2 gallon of true moo 1% chocolate milk!