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ZECH
08-21-2002, 11:13 AM
1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
A. Lovemaking.
B. Screwing.
C. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town.

2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship.
B. Your blood-test results.
C. Five tequila slammers.

3. You time your orgasm so that:
A. Your partner climaxes first.
B. You both climax simultaneously.
C. You don't miss ESPN Sports Center.

4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
A. Healthy, creative love-play.
B. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to.
C. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend needs to ever find out about.

5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:
A. The best part of the experience.
B. The second best part of the experience.
C. $100 extra.

6. Your wife/girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is:
A. Of no influence on your affectionate feelings for her.
B. Not a problem, she can join your gym.
C. A conservative estimate.

7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
A. A myth.
B. An oxymoron.
C. A moron.

8. Foreplay is to sex as:
A. An appetizer is to entree.
B. Primer is to paint.
C. A long line is to an amusement park ride.

9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?
A. "I hope we can still be friends."
B. "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
C. "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population, YOU."

10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
A. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy.
B. Is uptight and a waste of time.
C. Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.

Prince
08-21-2002, 12:50 PM
:haha:

Burner02
07-26-2007, 03:00 PM
just 'casue it's a slow posting day...and this was funny...
:p

Little Wing
07-26-2007, 03:10 PM
1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:

C. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town.

2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
.
C. Five tequila slammers.

3. You time your orgasm so that:

C. You don't miss ESPN Sports Center.

4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:

C. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend needs to ever find out about.

5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:

C. $100 extra.

6. Your wife/girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is:

C. A conservative estimate.

7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:

C. A moron.

8. Foreplay is to sex as:

C. A long line is to an amusement park ride.

9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?

C. "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population, YOU."

10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:

C. Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.


:thinking:

AKIRA
07-26-2007, 03:12 PM
All the Cs are punchlines, m'lady.

Little Wing
07-26-2007, 03:55 PM
All the Cs are punchlines, m'lady.

i knew that :shh: :lol:

fufu
07-26-2007, 04:09 PM
lawlz, nice!

tallcall
07-26-2007, 07:05 PM
4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
A. Healthy, creative love-play.
B. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to.
C. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend needs to ever find out about.

You forgot a choice: Not the kind of thing your wife/girlfriend needs to see when she comes home and you're making love on the floor with the guy next door.

I apologize,it was supposed to be funny, but it doesn't make any sense. I was just trying to add a often neglected dimension to the whole thing (I know this kind of thing happens sometimes). :banned: :eek:

Burner02
07-27-2007, 07:30 AM
yeah...sorry TC...judges call on your input:
umm...hmmm...ok..ok...hhmmmm....
ok...unanimous: not funny
:p

tallcall
07-27-2007, 11:37 AM
yeah...sorry TC...judges call on your input:
umm...hmmm...ok..ok...hhmmmm....
ok...unanimous: not funny
:p

That's it, I am filing an appeal! :banned:

Burner02
07-27-2007, 12:51 PM
You forgot a choice: Not the kind of thing your wife/girlfriend needs to see when she comes home and you're making love on the floor with the guy next door.

I apologize,it was supposed to be funny, but it doesn't make any sense. I was just trying to add a often neglected dimension to the whole thing (I know this kind of thing happens sometimes). :banned: :eek:
it does have kind of an American Dream quality to it...but you know how that ended....

katt
07-27-2007, 01:55 PM
it does have kind of an American Dream quality to it...but you know how that ended....

It ended with Broke Back Mountain

Burner02
07-27-2007, 02:09 PM
Broke Back IM?

katt
07-27-2007, 02:10 PM
Ok, that's better :D

DOMS
07-27-2007, 02:20 PM
Broke Back IM?

Tab A, slot C?

katt
07-27-2007, 02:27 PM
Tab A, slot C?

:haha:

Burner02
07-27-2007, 02:31 PM
Tab A, slot C?
not this boy's pintu!
(The Runaround)

DOMS
07-27-2007, 03:35 PM
The Rundown.

tallcall
07-27-2007, 04:09 PM
Ok, you all lost me, what are you talking about?

BiggT
11-14-2007, 09:44 PM
"C. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town. "

funniest shit ever!

TrojanMan60563
11-17-2007, 07:31 AM
How did this turn into a gay thing? Whats next.....

When your girlfriend doesn't want to put out at night you:

a. tell her you love her and go to sleep
b. agree to just cuddle her all night
c. sneak out and go to boys town
d. wait until she falls asleep and superman that ho