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2 old jokes

D

david

IML Gear Cream!
>>A guy runs into a bar and says, "Quick, pour me five shots of your
>>best scotch!" The bartender pours them and the man drinks them as
>>fast as he can. "Wow, that's the fastest that I've seen anyone
>>drink!", says the bartender. "Well, you'd drink that fast if you
>>had what I had," the man says. "Oh my god," said the bartender,
>>"what do you have?" The man replies, "50 cents!"
>>
>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>
>>A policeman spots a woman driving and knitting at the same time.
>>Driving up beside her he yells, "PULLOVER!"
>>"NO!", she shouts back, "SOCKS!"
 
Kuso walks into a bar and orders 10 shots of tequila...bartender lines em up and kuso slams em back, one after the other..the bartender says in amazment "you must be celebrating something", kuso replies "yeah first blowjob".....bartender says "well shit buddy have another one on me" kuso replies "No thanks the first ten didn't get the taste outta my mouth."
 
Originally posted by BjUaFyF
Kuso walks into a bar and orders 10 shots of tequila...bartender lines em up and kuso slams em back, one after the other..the bartender says in amazment "you must be celebrating something", kuso replies "yeah first blowjob".....bartender says "well shit buddy have another one on me" kuso replies "No thanks the first ten didn't get the taste outta my mouth."
Click to expand...
:barf: :rofl:
 
:thumb: LMAO
 
:rolleyes:


LOL
 
lol, I wait patiently. :D
 
I said I'ld wait didn't I.........Dero and DJD went on abit of a post whoring frenzy got ground to make up here man......:D
 
Not really......Im fighting a losing Battle LOL
 
:laugh: I had my thesauras out for that one :D
 
The number twelve goes to a bar
A number twelve walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer.

"Sorry I can't serve you," states the barman.

"Why not?!" asks the number twelve with anger showing in its voice.

"You're under 18," replies the barman.
 
A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her."

"Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!" she screamed.

"Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."
 
Im waiting............... :p:p:p :D:D
 
end bit to what?? :)
 
Two ladies walk into the bar..........:scratch: wait a minute......theres no washing machines in a bar :shrug:
 
Originally posted by peetrips
the long joke i was tellin you about
Click to expand...
lol oh right :D
 
Originally posted by irontime
Two ladies walk into the bar..........:scratch: wait a minute......theres no washing machines in a bar :shrug:
Click to expand...


Two hookers are walking down the street, one looks at the other and says "you ever been picked up by the fuzz?" the other one says"no but i've been dragged around by my tits!"
 
So one day god is bored up in heaven and he decides to check up on Adam and Eve. It appears that they are having a bath in the river and that it is just about Eve's turn. So she goes in and starts scrubing and then she washes inbetween her legs.

god frowns and says, "Great, now all the fish are going to smell like that." :no:

:D
 
lmao......holy shit dude that was fuqin hilarious :laugh:
 
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