View Full Version : 6 Sex Mistakes Men Make

Gena Marie
11-09-2011, 09:29 AM
Hey guys, think you know everything there is to know about having sex with women? That erotic encyclopedia you carry around in your head may contain a lot of basic errors and omissions about women's sexuality -- errors that can lead to sex mistakes.

That's because -- after learning the facts of life -- most of us are left to figure out sex for ourselves. Guys tend to take a lot of cues from adult movies, and we all know how true-to-life those are. Experience may help, but many women can be shy when talking about what they like.

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To help us with some sex tips, WebMD asked two acclaimed sex educators, Tristan Taormino and Lou Paget, to tell us what they think are the most common sex mistakes men make with women.

Taormino is a prolific author, lecturer, and video producer. Her latest project is the Expert Guide educational video series from Vivid Ed.

Paget is author of The Great Lover Playbook and other sex manuals, and she gives seminars nationwide.

Sex Mistake No.1: You Know What She Wants

Men often make assumptions about what a woman wants based upon what they've done with other women. But women aren't all the same.

"You develop a repertoire as you mature sexually, but you should never assume that what worked for the last person is going to work for this person," Taormino says.

That applies not only to sexual predilections, but also to relationships, she says. "There are women who can have no-strings-attached sex, and women who can get attached very easily, and then everyone in between."

Sex Mistake No. 2: You Have All She Needs

Some women can't have an orgasm with less than 3,000 rpm. No human tongue or fingers can generate that kind of vibration. But men typically think something is wrong if a woman needs a vibrator.

"If the only way that a woman can achieve orgasm is with a vibrator, she's not broken," Taormino says.

Think of a vibrator as your assistant, not your substitute. Many couples use vibrators together. "While you're doing one thing, or two things, the vibrator can be doing something else," Taormino says.

Sex Mistake No. 3: Sex Feels the Same for Men and Women

Paget says there tends to be a "huge disconnect" between men and women in the ways that sex feels good.

"When a man has intercourse with a woman, and his penis goes into her body, that sensation is so off the charts for most men, they cannot imagine that it isn't feeling the same way for her," Paget says. "It couldn't be further from the truth."

The inside of the vagina is probably less sensitive than the outer parts for most women. Also, deep thrusting may not feel so nice on the receiving end. If the penis is too long, "it feels like you're getting punched in the stomach," Paget says. "It makes you feel nauseous."

Sex Mistake No. 4: You Know Your Way Around a Woman's Anatomy

Most guys know generally what a clitoris is and where to find it. That's not to say that they really understand it.

More than 30 years ago, at the start of the "sexual revolution," a best-selling book called the Joy of Sex got Americans hip to the orgasmic importance of the clitoris. But the belief that women must be able to orgasm from vaginal penetration stubbornly persists.

"I still get letters from people who say things like, my wife can't [orgasm] from intercourse unless she has clitoral stimulation -- please help," Taormino says. "I want to write back and say, 'OK, what's the problem?'"

"For the majority of women, it's not going to happen that way," Paget says.

Men also lack information about how to touch it and how sensitive it is, Taormino says.

A touch that's bliss for one woman may feel like nothing special, or may even be painful for someone else. Some prefer indirect stimulation.

How can you find out how she likes to be touched? Try asking her.

Sex Mistake No. 5: Wet = Turned On

Guys sometimes get hung up if a woman doesn't get slippery enough for easy penetration. Don't worry about it.

"I think there's a myth that if you're turned on, you're wet," Taormino says. Not necessarily.

Some women tend to get wetter than others, and how much natural lubrication a woman has can change from day to day. It varies by the phase of her menstrual cycle, and it's subject to influences like stress and medications.

Sex Mistake No. 6: Silence Is Golden

A lot of guys think they should be silent during sex, but unless you speak up, your partner has to guess what's doing it for you and what isn't.

If you're respectful about it, a woman who wants to please you will probably appreciate some directions.

"I'm not saying push her head in your lap," Taormino says. "I think that, 'this is how I like it,' is a very useful conversation to have."

11-09-2011, 09:34 AM
Damn just when I thought I was doing it all right... Thanks - LOL

Gena Marie
11-09-2011, 09:39 AM
I am here to help :D

11-09-2011, 10:01 AM
Useful info, Gena.., thanks..

11-09-2011, 02:09 PM
very interesting... I'll have to test it^^

11-10-2011, 08:26 PM
on the test soon :)

11-11-2011, 12:50 AM
Guys think they're supposed to be silent?

Which guys - the ones who live with their moms?

11-11-2011, 01:39 AM
Guys think they're supposed to be silent?

Which guys - the ones who live with their moms?

Bellow like a rhino goddamit! :lol:

11-13-2011, 12:26 PM
good article

11-14-2011, 10:26 AM
is she trying to tell me something? :hmmm:

Gena Marie
11-14-2011, 10:34 AM
is she trying to tell me something? :hmmm:

You tell me, sexy :kiss:

11-14-2011, 12:50 PM
good article


11-14-2011, 01:07 PM
i don't care what anyone says... THIS IS NOT ABOUT ME!!!

11-23-2011, 09:07 PM
Great info! Duly noted.

12-07-2011, 12:39 AM
interesting read.

12-08-2011, 06:32 AM
Once more and again,
a great read Gena.

12-08-2011, 06:40 AM
My wife loves to talk.

12-08-2011, 06:57 AM
is she trying to tell me something? :hmmm:

That what I was thinking lol.

Hey at least shes pointing you in the right direction.

Most women think men are mind readers.

...and, um 3,000rpm?! Thats how Superman fucks. Someone bring in the leaf blower. Oh I got another one. Someone bring me the jack hammer!

12-11-2011, 12:59 AM
...and, um 3,000rpm?! Thats how Superman fucks. Someone bring in the leaf blower. Oh I got another one. Someone bring me the jack hammer!
Yamaha RD350 in second gear during rush-hour.

Just sayin'.

12-11-2011, 05:47 AM
Bottom line, best way to please a woman......let her be herself. Ya ya I was thinking of putting something like, do the dishes, housecleaning, whatever but thought, men are so bad at that it could just piss her off if she has to clean up after him. Some women don't even do that in the first place, they are doing strange shit now days. Like being Dr's., Lawyers, Airline pilots, Body Builders and dingy shit like that even.

(in case I was to subtle I am saying sex is not 100% about what happens in the bedroom. What happens all day effects all night)

12-11-2011, 05:52 AM
is she trying to tell me something? :hmmm:

Ask her. That seems to be the point of the whole article.

See, you just got out of a lot of guess work...add what she says to what you've learned and now you've got it made. :)

12-11-2011, 05:57 AM
Another thought on this "ask her" and "tell her" thing. Yeah communication is key because each woman is different. Make it fun...don't make her feel like a science experiment, but plan a day to just play and learn what one another likes...to try different things, different positions, different ways to stimulate here or there. Exactly where her g-spot and posterior fornix are, exactly how to hit each one the best.

Guys, grab some cialis and viagra or even some caverject ahead of time so that you are up to the task. Remember that your, "experiment and learn day" is about experimenting and learning though... not about giving her a 6 hour pounding that's going to leave her sore...and you cut off for a week.

12-11-2011, 12:25 PM
(in case I was to subtle I am saying sex is not 100% about what happens in the bedroom. What happens all day effects all night)

Well put. Repped!

12-14-2011, 10:34 AM

12-14-2011, 11:30 AM
Really useful article thanks for sharing it :)

12-27-2011, 07:30 PM
#2 and #3... so true!!!

12-27-2011, 07:39 PM
interesting reading thanks..anyway where is this thingy that rep's 3000 rpm's?

12-28-2011, 08:55 AM
taking notes...

01-03-2012, 03:30 PM

01-03-2012, 08:19 PM
3,000 rpm? that's not even fair....

01-07-2012, 10:44 AM

01-19-2012, 07:31 AM
Cleared Many misconceptions :D

Buff C
01-24-2012, 04:44 AM
interesting read i agree

01-24-2012, 09:29 AM
would be interseting to hear what the guys think works....whats your Signature Series move?

01-24-2012, 09:48 AM
would be interseting to hear what the guys think works....whats your Signature Series move?

Hmm, I wait for them to cum see me @ 3:45 in the morning for a booty call. She walks in, I kiss her, take her to the bedroom, lay on top of her and let her feel how hard I am, Whisper in her ear "damn baby, those pants have to cum off", lift her ass in the air as her back is still on the bed, Rip them off with 1 swoop, lay back and she does the rest..well kinda. But it's on from there! :analsex:

This was a true story night before last!

01-24-2012, 12:18 PM
Gena.......why don't you help us out......tell us what you like.....you know.. how hard.. how soft....how deep..how.......how...how...how..........how...how .......how.......how.....how.....how

[i think i came]or maybe cummed..........