A couple things I would start with just as foundations for "how to compete"...
- look at your relationship w/ food -- you mention the post-show binge. I think that's standard for any competitor - you do it at least once before your realize just what it means to experience a post-show rebound. And also managing the mindset coming OUT of a show. After 12-20 weeks of focusing every hour of your existence, what you eat, how much you eat, how much you sleep, and somehow still getting thru the daily obligations of things like family, job and your general health, you do the show, and then all of a sudden, you don't have to do anything. I find it generally extremely anti-climactic and depressing. I'm lost if I don't have a diet & training program to follow. That's when I lose control and fuck myself. I do everything I can to take away the focus and associations of "reward" w/ food. The thing I look forward to the most is the post-show dinner w/ friends who I have been ignoring for the duration of my prep, not the 3 lb bag of pretzel m&ms I've been fantasizing about. I also remind myself just how shitty I feel if I start eating stuff I haven't digested in recent history. Nothing tastes as good as lean feels!
- Check your diet. If you're starving going into a show... are you getting enough food? It depends on your diet but generally an ideal diet is sufficient and not starvation. My first show I did on 1750 cals and dieted down to 7%. For various reasons that led me there, I've done shows on 600 cals & 3 hrs of cardio. I don't recommend it. I did that in 2009. I looked as exhausted as I felt by the time I did my second show on that protocol. I did another show at more like 1500 cals and 1-2 hrs of cardio/ day and came in 3 lb tighter in 2010. If you're starving, chances are you're also going dramatically catabolic and you're going to come into your show stringy or flat. Revisit your diet and make sure you're doing it the right way. If you're working w/ a trainer who is advocating the starvation diet, then bring it up to them and see if they will look at trying some variations to see if you get better results w/o starving. To a degree dialing into a show is going to be uncomfortable, but there are levels that are appropriate, and levels that are just stupid. Generally, make sure you're getting good fats. Carbs tend to bump up your sugar cravings, while fats seem to satiate a little more. And Built is a huge proponent of chugging a protein drink before a meal to help fill you up more.
In terms of appetite suppression - I always worry about that, particularly w/ guys because they seem to have it easier in terms of urges to eat - I think a lot of it has to do w/ your natural hormone levels - particularly estrogen. If you suppress your appetite so much that you forget to eat, you start to sabotage your whole prep effort, again most likely coming in undersized, flat or stringy. This matters more for men than women.
Some thing I've found that help:
Jack3d
Hoodia - I use this for all my preps - it doesn't always seem to "work" for people but it has helped me since I first tried it in 2005 (VPX Dietex -- sadly they don't make it anymore) I find the biggest dosage pill of Hoodia I can find (usually 6-800 mg/cap) and then take 2 x 2/day. It takes some time but if you just make it part of your regular supplement pile and don't sit and look for 'results' within a week, you may notice that your "taste" for things goes away. I've not found it to be so much of an appetite suppressant as just something that takes away the cravings for things that might make me deviate from my diet (e.g. if you start getting really sick of chicken or something). However I also find when I stop it, and still takes some time to clear it out completely, I really enjoy when I start to enjoy flavor again.
- some thermos will suppress appetite. Depends on what works w/ your body chemistry. I don't like stims anymore these days. I don't need that big rush to hit the gym anymore. I get more of a headache or go straight into a shitty mood if I rely too much on the thermos. I might even find my receptors need a break and stims will just put me directly to sleep. OR they may keep me up all nite and compromise my recovery.
The biggest thing I can recommend is to find a way to build your diet such that you don't get cravings because you're being undernourished, and also manage your relationship w/ food so you don't add in the mental associations w/ carbs that seem to make them "more important" to you than they really need to be. I've found this to go a long way towards reducing my tendency to binge.
The toughest part of competition is mental!