Old Jokes!

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A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the
coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The
male whale recognized it as the same ship that had
harpooned his father many years earlier.

He said to the female whale, "Let's both swim under
the ship and blow out of our air hole at the same time
and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink."

They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over
and quickly sank.

Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had
jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore.

The male was enraged that they were going to get away
and told the female, Let's swim after them and gobble
them up before they reach the shore." At this point,
he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him.

"Look", she said, "I went along with the blow job, but
I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen."

NOTE: The average blue whale produces over 400 gallons
of sperm when it ejaculates, but only 10% of that
actually makes it into his mate. So 360 gallons are
spilled into the ocean every time one unloads, and you
wonder why the ocean is so salty... pass it on.

Mathematical proof!

What Makes 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%.

How about achieving 103%?

Here's a little math that might prove helpful.

What makes life 100% ?

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H A R D W O R K

8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98%

K N O W L E D G E

11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96%

But,

A T T I T U D E

1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100%

And,

B U L L S H I T

2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103%

So, it stands to reason that hard work and knowledge will get you

close, attitude will get you there, but bullshit will put you over the top.

And look how far ass kissing will take you.

A S S K I S S I N G

1 19 19 11 9 19 19 9 14 7 = 118%

NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT IT LIKE THAT BEFORE, HUH?

that would explain alot about my boss....

what does doing nothing get you ?

nope.