RelationShip Problems

Hi everyone!!!!

Im sure a lot o people know me in here, a few that I have had bad experiences with and a few that were cool with me. OK, so here is my huge problem that Bugs me and hurts my heart even more........ I have a girlfriend which i have been going to with for 2 years some months now (as some of you know from my other thread ). We have been thru a lot together and learned a lot from one another and shanged so much over the time we have been together. I love her sooo much, we were two totaly different people when we met but we both picked something up from one another, we had our bad times and our good times, but this time it seems like it is not going to be a happy ending , couple of months ago verything was fine we got along together and were hanging out together all the time and being intimate like real love birds as usua, it was acctually so good that i thgought of buying her a "promise ring" for christmas but before that i made a thread and talked to you guys about if she is the "right one for me". Well this is going to sound weird to you guys, but, ever since the next day i posted that thread alllllllllllllllllllll went down hill for my relationship with the love of my life. We started fighting and she was more jelous than ever, it got so intence at times that i just borke up with her once (for like 5 minutes and then we got back together, dont laugh its not funny). I got soooooo stressed about the subject if she was the one girl for me that i only say the bad things about her and didnt concentrate of the good things that keep our relationship alive. We would be just fine one minute and the other minute she got on my nerves so much by saying something stupid and we were right at it, it also happenes so much that we both dont even care about what the other persons says and we just both say wahtever. One night everything is so good and we think we got things all back together again and the next morning the same shit happenes again. I went cliff climbing the other day with my best friend, (we didnt even plan it we just came across that thing in a mall) and we decited to go and do it, when my girlfriend calls me on my cell phone and i tell her what i was doing, when i told her what i was doing she got soooo pissed and said that "why dont you ever go do that with me" and hung up the phone, (she was at work at that time yeah, go figure. She also gets mad when i go test drive cars with my buddy's, and says again, why dont you go do that with me (even thoguth she doesnt like it when i drive like an "idiot" . (isnt that wha you do on a test drive) ??? , i also get soooooo stressed up and scared of when and if we get married that she will turn into a bitch like her stupid bitch mom, im just sooo stressed , one minute i think it would be better to get away from her but then the other minute when i realize how it would be without her i take everything back. I know in my heart that im madly in love with her but it just doesnt want to comme outside. Its hard to expalin to explain how i feel but lately i even start bitching at her over the smalest smalest smalest things, and i cant even talk to her normaly any more without me being iritaded or bitchy. There is sooo many thing to write more, but you all probobly stoped reading by now, i feel really sad and i have the breakup feeling in my stomach and i truly feel like crying, i know we need to make things better but i cant help it im still bitchy when i talk to her and iritated.I dont know what to do anymore, that whole feeling has gone out of my system and i dont know what the problem here is, i dont know how to explain how i feel anymore, ( she also says that i like bodybuilding more than i like her and that i work harder at bodybuilding than at our relationship, ) i just think thats total bullshit, i dont know anymore honestly.............................................................. pleas ehelp me people i feel really sad...................

I won't go into a lot of rambling here but I'd say both of you need some serious time apart. And I mean apart. Just out of curiosity, ho old are you guys? At the rate things are going, they are never going to get better. Maybe time apart will put things in a much better perspective. Good luck man. I've never been in your particular situation, but I have had to let go of someone I could never picture myself without. Hang in there and think with your big head.

i know, i just cant picture my self without her, and even worse i cant picture her with someone else......... oh my good it just fucking hurts real bad because i want us to workout

QuestionGuy,

First piece of advice... If your relying on members from a body building forum to help patch up your relationship....it is already a losing battle. <jk>

And what is that up there...did you write a book

I read it all, it sucks man, but we all go through it. Some of what you talk about is just lack of experience/maturity (arguing over nothing, not listening to what the other person says and just saying whatever comes to mind without thinking about it).

These are all things we go through until we either learn, or just remain miserable our whole lives being sour bastards with what to me would be lousy relationships.

Alot of mistakes in life we make our parents and grandparents tell us about, but we usually seem to want to make them at least once for ourselves, that again is life. History repeats itself.

"Too soon old, too late smart." German proverb

Originally posted by QuestionGuy
i know, i just cant picture my self without her, and even worse i cant picture her with someone else

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I don't know it is, but that is a major "guy thing". Like they are forbidden fruit or something. The sooner guys learn to deal with that shiat, the better off all of us will be. I'm serious though man, we are not meant to be in relationships for the above quoted reasons. Toxic relationships like the ones these can turn into, will jack your brain and heart up for life. But like Randy said, nothing anyone here says will make any sense and you will probably walk into this buzzsaw no matter what any of us suggest. It's part of the stubborness of being a guy. Just always keep one thing in mind...no matter what we are experiencing NOW, it is never permenant.

Its a hard truth to realize, but many things are not permanent, they are just learning experiences which hopefully you grow and learn from.

I think we all have to go through that buddy. When I was a8 I dated this girl for almost 3 years and it was fucking hell. We were always fighting, I even broke up with her a couple of times. I was hardly ever happy with her, but yet I loved her and would've married her.

Then when the big break up came I was really hurt. I was constantly drinking and didn't know what to do, but before long my friends started noticing that I was in a general better mood. I started going out, having fun, before long I loved being single.

After a few years of partying, and whoring around I found a great girl we are living together and she is my best friend. We never fight, talk camly about problems, and it's awesome.

Moral of the story; break up with her, go have some fun, eventually you'll find one that you get along with a lot more. Because this problem is not going to go away, it's only going to get worse.

Originally posted by QuestionGuy

but we both picked something up from one another

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I hope it wasn't crabs.


Anyway, I went thru the same situation, sort of. My friend was dating this girl and at the beginning it was all cool, but then, she would get insanely jealous of him doing things with me and other friends, even things she hated to do. It basically became a challenge for her to prevent him from doing stuff with me and our other friends. So basically he stopped hanging out with us and I have stopped talking to him. She basically wants you to choose between your friends and her and you have to decide which is more important to you.

well, thank you guys on all of your comments, (Randy, ur still an ASS but its ok, in a cool way) CRABS, lol no we dont have crabs. All of you guys are sort of right, but IRONTIME says that i should break up with her like that was just something i can go in and out off, that pain isss so fucking strong its hard to breath even when i seriously think about not being with her anymore, buty another things is that if i think about it long enough (which i did) she is sort of my best friend also and she is always there for me and she never breaks a promise like all my buddys, but still she doesnt understand that when im with her that i have different kind of funn than when im with my friends and that i cant act the same infront of both groups. And also i know this is a bodybuilding forum but i just wanted to sare that with you guys because there are some awesome people in here. I gues im going to give this relationship another try (one last one) and if things just start being worse or the same wer are going to have to let go from one another.....

Thanks QuestionGuy "I think"

Originally posted by QuestionGuy
well, thank you guys on all of your comments, (Randy, ur still an ASS but its ok, in a cool way)

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I think what IronTime is saying is the truth, no matter how you feel - if you believe that love is blind I feel personally that you are BLIND right now.

Love is not about mistrust or arguing IMO. I spent a year with someone that turned sour towards the end and I didn't leave, but when it was said and done I was happier for it.

I do believe you can LOVE someone and not be right for each other, look at the divorce rate my brother.

At the minimum I would suggest asking her to sit down. Be straight and say hey, something is going on here, what do we do about it. Bring to the discussion your arguments and various trust issues, dont argue - DISCUSS, do that for her and expect the same back, if she cant then maybe you should just walk right then. I dont want to argue with people and refuse to do so, either discuss something with me or I walk until someone can grow the f#ck up and talk like an adult.

Good luck

Mudge, I think your discussion idea is a great one. The problem is generally there is no reasoning and discussing in young age relationships... (Now just assuming this is a young age relationship). You have to be at a certain maturity level or it never works my brother ... Hell sometimes it never works anyway Like someone mentioned here, there is no reasoning with women (Now don't beat me up ladies)

Well, like a parent trying to impart wisdom sometimes it is in vein anyway until the person grows for thier own and says "oh shyt, so thats how its done."

If we all listened to our parents and actually absorbed, understood, and followed it all then we might actually get somewhere in life sooner? Nah...

#1 rule in a relationship, be friends - dont work against each other. Put your ego down and just talk it out.

#1 in a relationship (or not)..... Good Sex
#2 Be friends
#3 If #1 and #2 don't work together, drop #2 and stick with #1


Does this make sense?