Thread: Married guy needs help w/wife

get her to start swimming . . thats fine on the knees. Also put her on a diet, but offer her an incentive for doing so. Women are easily manipulated. It should be a piece of cake if you have the time and patience.

Have her do what I did: the Atkins diet.

Very, very easy to follow and she'll likely find it comfortable. BUY THE BOOK. Don't just do what you THINK is the Atkins diet, okay? It's not a high protein diet.

Have her do some reading while she loses weight. No need to exercise hard right away, but a slow pace on a stationary bike might do her good, just to get in a little movement.

I broke both my knee caps falling out of a coconut tree in Malaysia as a child, therefore cannot even walk long distances but I can bike 100 miles. Have her bike, make sure the seat and pedal distance is adjusted correctly or she will hurt her knees more. ( most people have the seat too low and the knees are bent at a high angle througout the pedal stroke). Her knees should just be slightly bent at maximum extension of the pedal stroke. Overweight people don't tend to lose a lot of weight swimming.

Overweight people don't tend to lose a lot of weight exercising, either.

BAW, I didn't know about your knees. DAMN, that must have been TERRIBLE!

Originally Posted by Built

Overweight people don't tend to lose a lot of weight exercising, either.

BAW, I didn't know about your knees. DAMN, that must have been TERRIBLE!

Do you mean they lose most of their weight from a change in diet as opposed to upping their exercise?

Signed,
Still Learning.

Diet, diet, diet.

Originally Posted by FindingMyWay

Do you mean they lose most of their weight from a change in diet as opposed to upping their exercise?

Signed,
Still Learning.

dieting is underrated, without the dieting and calorie restriction the weight just does not come off if all they did was excercise.

Honestly it helps to do both but you can lose a lot of weight just dieting ( although you wont be in good cardiovascular help). Studies show excercise as net energy expenditure may not help a lot by itself but it does change the brain chemistry ( changes the leptin levels.) that may help control appetite and food cravings in the long run.

Although this can bite you in the ass if you're not careful; research out of Ottawa in 2004 showed that in women - but not in men - appetite can go up with exercise intensity.

Men can sometimes exercise off at least some of the weight. Women may not have as much success.

Considering how little exercise burns off, you really need to look to your diet for the caloric deficit. I just assume exercise burns exactly nothing - that way I know where to look when I need to drop weight.

Originally Posted by Built

Have her do what I did: the Atkins diet.

Very, very easy to follow and she'll likely find it comfortable. BUY THE BOOK. Don't just do what you THINK is the Atkins diet, okay? It's not a high protein diet.

Have her do some reading while she loses weight. No need to exercise hard right away, but a slow pace on a stationary bike might do her good, just to get in a little movement.

I agree. Just make sure she reads the book.

Try an enama

Did you talk to your wife about this? I mean discussing with your wife will make it easier. If you can both visit a gym, then you could schedule the time of the day she can do her work out. If you don't have time, then you can buy treadmill and buy workout cds that she can follow at home. She can also go into a diet that will help her lose weight. But the important thing is that she is willing to do it, because no matter how you try, if she's not into it... more likely you will fail.

Just be supportive and notice that she is doing good things. Keep it short, specific and sweet. If she tries to make what you say into bad just tell her that you care about her health and how she feels.

Originally Posted by CaptRichArund

get her to start swimming . . thats fine on the knees. Also put her on a diet, but offer her an incentive for doing so. Women are easily manipulated. It should be a piece of cake if you have the time and patience.

agree with this.

Also I dont like to use the word diet as alot of people think its hard, I use the word eating plan. just me

no idea for this..

Diet!

Very hard to tell your spouse she needs to diet. My wife and I have had a lot of arguments about dieting, well it is more her arguing with me and I just listen. She is having a hard time with me losing all this weight and my improved appearance.
She constantly asks me about dieting but when I answer her questions even though I am not suggesting that she diets she takes it that way and starts getting upset.
Mind you she is not that over weight, I am just lost, not sure how to deal with it besides keeping my mouth shut to not worsen the arguing.
She started working out with me for a few days a couple months ago but then she quit, I didn't bother her about it, I really enjoyed her working out with me, it sucks that she quit.
I am sorry, not trying to hijack the thread but someone said to the OP "put her on a diet", I cannot imagine going up to a any woman regardless of her size and telling her she needs to go on a diet.

Originally Posted by kyle64

I cannot imagine going up to a any woman regardless of her size and telling her she needs to go on a diet.

Smart man.

I fully understand how frustrating this can be - it took me a few years of my own lifting and dieting before I got my husband interested in lifting.

Okay, I had to get strong enough to pin him. Still, it wasn't easy getting him onboard. He really only bought in when he lifted all winter, and found mountain biking in the spring a LOT easier with all that upper-body strength.

He still won't really diet though, although he is a lot less bad than he used to be.

I just don't know what to do really, she loves it when we are intimate, how well things work now with all the improvements in my physique and my stamina naturally has gone through the roof compared to the fat days but then she is just like mad that I am getting in great shape. I just can't figure it out!

I think the swimming as well as a stationary bike will help her here. The less tention made upon the knees "the better for now". There are usually classes that help with aqua times. Might you consider a nice new gift for gym, and personal training for you.

The other main consideration is making sure the diet is changing, with indeed other necessary supplements being induced to match those changes.

What a great husband with your expressed concerns for yours!

Good Luck!~

Originally Posted by weldingman

Try an enama

Originally Posted by kyle64

I just don't know what to do really, she loves it when we are intimate, how well things work now with all the improvements in my physique and my stamina naturally has gone through the roof compared to the fat days but then she is just like mad that I am getting in great shape. I just can't figure it out!

Hubby and I almost didn't make it when I lost the weight. At first, I was like you, you know? I didn't understand what the problem was - here I was, forty pounds lighter and getting hit on by guys at the gym, but my husband is acting like a total knob. It made no sense, but I have since read how common this is.

It's a change, right, and you're at the gym more, with her less... also your attitude will have changed; you're more confident now, more masculine, and this can make your partner nervous. She will likely get over it but it may be a bit of a bumpy ride at first. Very, very common when one partner improves dramatically, no matter what it is - education, fitness, career...

Hubby used to try to sabotage my diet when I first started this. I'd be eating protein and fat, and I'd come home from the gym to pasta on the stove and French bread in the oven. Now, I'm the kind of person who just turns it off when I'm dieting, but I felt disrespected.

He loves the "new" me now, but it took a while.

Originally Posted by kyle64

I just don't know what to do really, she loves it when we are intimate, how well things work now with all the improvements in my physique and my stamina naturally has gone through the roof compared to the fat days but then she is just like mad that I am getting in great shape. I just can't figure it out!

I think this is just one example lending credibility to the "social rank" theories.

Basically, in a friendship, be it romantic or otherwise, people are the happiest when around people of similiar social ranking. In other words, with someone in your league.

While you may be proud to land the home coming queen, and happy that she has chosen you, you will constantly wonder if she will stay with you or returns your feelings. Likewise, if you are the one higher on the ladder, you tend to take a more high handed approach in your relationships, because you can easily do "better".

TLDR: Your wife feels resentment towards you that you are now rising above her in social value.

I don't know if it's true, but it's an interesting theory.

when i met my wife 5yrs ago i was at about 200lbs and guessing 25%bf, she always said she likes fat hairy guys, and at the time she had just lost 80lbs and looked great.drinking severly took over my life and i got up to 230 easy 30%bf. over the past 5 yrs. and she has put about half her weight back on. since january ive lost 50lbs and at 12%bf. all i here is "your eating again"... "i hate muscles" but i am in a much better place in my life being sober and healthy. She keeps attempting to lose weight but failing and won't take any tips from me. she has been trying to run a marathon for 2yrs but keeps getting injured or has medical issues, once was a cecarian hernia and also had an overy removed. she is attempting the running again but stil isn't eating right imho.

What do i do!!!

Originally Posted by Built

Hubby and I almost didn't make it when I lost the weight. At first, I was like you, you know? I didn't understand what the problem was - here I was, forty pounds lighter and getting hit on by guys at the gym, but my husband is acting like a total knob. It made no sense, but I have since read how common this is.

It's a change, right, and you're at the gym more, with her less... also your attitude will have changed; you're more confident now, more masculine, and this can make your partner nervous. She will likely get over it but it may be a bit of a bumpy ride at first. Very, very common when one partner improves dramatically, no matter what it is - education, fitness, career...

Hubby used to try to sabotage my diet when I first started this. I'd be eating protein and fat, and I'd come home from the gym to pasta on the stove and French bread in the oven. Now, I'm the kind of person who just turns it off when I'm dieting, but I felt disrespected.

He loves the "new" me now, but it took a while.

My girl is always trying to sabotage my diet. I'm eating nothing but lean proteins and brown rice all day. I come to maybe scarf on some cottage cheese & peanut butter before bed and she has 3 effing pizzas sitting there... I'm like WTF?

THANK ALL of YOU for YOUR WONDERFUL HELP & COMMENTS!!!!

diet, cardio, clen + t3and t4 mixed together they have a good one on mex store plus the clen is great i got it myself. but iam by far not good at telling dieting programs but i know enough to get you past the sticking points. good luck with your weight loss. imo

nd2bhge, please tell her the marathon won't get the weight off. Lose the weight, THEN do the marathon. The other way around is a recipe for failure, and HUNGER.

Originally Posted by primopup

Hi, Ineed help in getting my wife to loose weight. She has really bad knees from standing in an auto factory all day. She's 48, about 220 ,can't walk much cause of pain she says. Any ideas, help suggestions?? ALL appreciated,esp from the ladies!! many thanks in advance!!

Lipo if you could afford it