Male Stages of Life

AGE DRINK
17 - beer
25 - vodka
35 - scotch
48 - double scotch
66 - Maalox

AGE SEDUCTION LINE
17 - My parents are away for the weekend.
25 - My girlfriend is away for the weekend.
35 - My fiancee is away for the weekend.
48 - My wife is away for the weekend.
66 - My second wife is dead.

AGE FAVORITE SPORT
17 - sex
25 - sex
35 - sex
48 - sex
66 - napping

AGE DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE
17 - "tongue"
25 - "breakfast"
35 - "She didn't set back my therapy."
48 - "I didn't have to meet her kids."
66 - "Got home alive."

AGE FAVORITE FANTASY
17 - getting to third
25 - airplane sex
35 - menage a trois
48 - taking the company public
66 - Swiss maid/Nazi love slave

AGE FAVORITE HOUSE PET
17 - roaches
25 - stoned-out college roommate
35 - German Shepherd
48 - children from his first marriage
66 - Barbie

AGE WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?
17 - 25
25 - 35
35 - 48
48 - 66
66 - 17