My girlfriend was sexually abused as a kid and now its affecting our relationship in a negative way. Does anyone know what I can do to help her? She never got any help and her parents didn't press charges. I'm trying to do some research on it. Anybody got something useful for me? Thanks.
Posted by: cornfed
patience... and when you tire of that... patience and love, bro.
Posted by: Dero
Originally posted by cornfed
patience... and when you tire of that... patience and love, bro.
...and understanding.
The other thing,is that she will ask you for some space,
GIVE IT TO HER when she asks for it!!!
...and more patience and more love!!!
Posted by: Mr.Guvernment
as said - patience - the first girl i fell in love with had been raped, unfortunatly, so i learned to control myself - we never had sex, but just simple fooling around sometimes brough her to tears.
you must be patient, and with that will come trust, once she realizes that you are not there to hurt her, or the past does not creep up when doing certain sexual things, it will all be worth it to know that somone has that much faith, and trust, and likely by that time, love for you.
Thanks a ton everyone. Just even the simplest reply helped me realize what I can do to help her and get through this. And besides...righty is always up for the job.
Posted by: Mr.Guvernment
glad to hear it m8! thas what we are here for!
Posted by: ALBOB
Originally posted by Chronic Id And besides...righty is always up for the job.
Don't ignor Lefty. If one arm gets over developed you'll end up walking around in circles like mmafiter.
Posted by: Hammerlynn
I worked with sexually abused children and you've been given some good advice! You need to be extremely patient with her! She has to feel completely comfortable with you and sex. If she does not she will continue to relive the role of a victim. Someone very close to me has had this happen and it took her a very very long time to come to terms with everything. I promise you that if you are patient things will get better for you both. I would suggest that if she has not gone then couseling would be a good start for her individually and then for you both as a couple. It will help you to better understand the healing process.
And like the boys so eloquently put....you have to do your own thing for a while.
good luck!
Dr. Hammer steps off her soap box
Posted by: StrutDaRoosta
the funny thing about having been sexually abused is that there is this sad ability to remove yourself emotionally from sex..
Like.. you can be having fun.. but if you were the one who had been abused in the past.. its eaiser for you to have fun pleasing your partner.. but its hard for you to enjoy sex for youself.. its like you almost have to learn for youself that sex is about you too.. does that make sense?
