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Posted by: buff_tat2d_chic

I am curious to what the general opinions are on this board regarding online "relationships".

IYO is it "cheating"?

Posted by: ZECH

Have something to tell us Buff??

Posted by: buff_tat2d_chic

No, just wondering

Hmmmm....not gonna answer??

Posted by: Prince

yes they are.

Here is a question that Dr. Phil said is a good way to determine if what you're doing is wrong or bad:

If your spouse were standing over your shoulder would you still do it?

So, if you're doing something online, talking with someone, whatever, ask yourself if you would do/say/type, etc. if your husband or wife were standing right there watching you?

If the answer is no, then it's not right and you should not be doing it. Period.

Posted by: Eggs

Sure its cheating... and if you consider cheating wrong, then its wrong.

I consider cheating wrong, so yeah.

Some people will of course say "well its just online... its not for real... I'm not really having sex... etc". And to them I say that I think you're just trying to nit pick the concept of cheating to aleviate your own guilt.

Now, if you dont think its wrong... then by all means go ahead, but I hope your RL partner feels the same way so you dont hurt them too bad when they find out.

To me the biggest issue is the dishonesty of it. Lying to the person you are with is wrong, and I think more often than not you'll also be lying to yourself about it as well. If you want to have somebody online, well... by all means. But be up front about it, tell your partner that their real life stimulation isnt cutting it and you need some "digital action" and let them decide what their thoughts are on the situation. Because of course, they are the ones that have to live with your actions.

Posted by: DaMayor

Quote:

Originally posted by Prince
yes they are.

Here is a question that Dr. Phil said is a good way to determine if what you're doing is wrong or bad:

If your spouse were standing over your shoulder would you still do it?

So, if you're doing something online, talking with someone, whatever, ask yourself if you would do/say/type, etc. if your husband or wife were standing right there watching you?

If the answer is no, then it's not right and you should not be doing it. Period.

Naturaltan is, of course, the exception to the rule inthis case.

It's really quite simple......cheating is cheating.....in my opinion. But I might have an entirely different belief system than you or Kuso. Ooops, did I say Kuso?
Sometimes people feel the need to explore, or stumble into situations (separate argument) You just have to ask yourself if it is really worth the consequences.

Posted by: Eggs

True DM... life is all about weighing whether a certain action is worth the consequences that will result from it. We of all people should know this

We lift weights, and the consequence is get bigger and stronger (well, theoretically

Not if you suck at it

)

It also of course applies to cheating just as much so. If you arent willing to deal with the consequences, then dont do it.

and yeah, NTs situation is quite a bit different. They're fun is quite mutual, and it works for them.

Posted by: buff_tat2d_chic

Now this was just a hypothetical question and poll...I wanted to see what general views here were. A few weeks ago I opened a can of worms by saying that we (me and my husband) had "others" in our relationship...got everyone so heated up that Prince closed the thread lmfao So I wasn't going to mention it, BUT when you brought my good budy NT into it, I figured it would be ok.

Anyway, can't say that I haven't had my ups and downs in my marriage, but everyone does. I have been married 15 years and that lifestyle HAS NOT hurt us...it's pretty exciting.

Ok, now that being said. Do you still feel the same way if the spouse/sig other knows? What if it IS something you would do with your partner standing there. Is it not cheating then?

Here we go....

Posted by: naturaltan

Let me put my 2 cents in for what it's worth ... cheating is cheating. We believe that online or any other form of sex without your partners consent or approval is wrong ... and we abide by that rule. As hard as it may seem to understand, we consdier cheat it cheating. And I guess the reasoning is that we do what we do as a couple. There are couples that choose to allow their partners the freedom to do what they want - and if that works for them, great. I believe that the rule with those couples is still that they let their partner know what is going on, and not doing so, even in a very free relationship, is still considered cheating.

Posted by: buff_tat2d_chic

Well put NT.

I was wondering when you'd drop in.

I chatted with your wife a little today. She is really nice. Gonna try to do it again sometime.

Posted by: Prince

Quote:

Originally posted by buff_tat2d_chick
...got everyone so heated up that Prince closed the thread lmfao

how do you know that I closed it?

Posted by: Leslie

Quote:

That goes with how you act with real people in life as well, not just online friends.

Posted by: naturaltan

so I read ... carry on ...

another 2 cents (that makes 4 altogether) ... my wife does not like me chatting with other ladies that we have encountered. She is not comfortable with that because conversation amongst everyone in the group normally becomes sexual, so talking sex without her being in on emails/pm is considered cheating in our household. As much freedom as we seem to have, we do live within some very adhered to boundaries.

Posted by: katie64

I agree with all of the above, I met my recent/present/X/BF, not sure what the hell he is at this point, but I met him online, fell madly in love and 4 months later (4 days after he put a ring on my finger) found out that he had 22 email accounts and long list of women, pics and love letters and was saying the same shit to me that he was to them, grrrrrrrrrrr

, and being the gullible, naive, stupid woman that I am when I'm in love, I stayed with him, it has never been the same since then and I will never trust him again, cheating is like taken someone's heart out and crushing it in front of them until it doesn't beat anymore, and it's something you never forget, at least I don't, if you couldn't tell I'm a true believe in faithfulness and I am definitely a one man woman...........

BTW, if you couldn't tell, I'm excellent at research, I figured out one password and it kept leading me to all the other accounts, wow, I'm still bullshit about this..........what an asshole he is....

Posted by: katie64

Quote:

Originally posted by naturaltan
so I read ... carry on ...

Good for you NT, you and the beautiful Mrs. have a great healthy relationship...........

Posted by: naturaltan

Katie ... that is definitely cheating in a big way!! Time to give that guy the boot and don't look back!

Posted by: katie64

Quote:

Originally posted by buff_tat2d_chick
Now this was just a hypothetical question and poll...I wanted to see what general views here were. A few weeks ago I opened a can of worms by saying that we (me and my husband) had "others" in our relationship...got everyone so heated up that Prince closed the thread lmfao So I wasn't going to mention it, BUT when you brought my good budy NT into it, I figured it would be ok.

Anyway, can't say that I haven't had my ups and downs in my marriage, but everyone does. I have been married 15 years and that lifestyle HAS NOT hurt us...it's pretty exciting.

Ok, now that being said. Do you still feel the same way if the spouse/sig other knows? What if it IS something you would do with your partner standing there. Is it not cheating then?

Here we go....

What thread, where was I, I wanna come to TX and visit Buff..........I consider myself single, I can do that...........

Posted by: katie64

Quote:

Originally posted by naturaltan
Katie ... that is definitely cheating in a big way!! Time to give that guy the boot and don't look back!

I don't know how I got a double quote there.....hmmmmmmmm

edit, edit...........stupid computers

Posted by: katie64

Quote:

Originally posted by naturaltan
Katie ... that is definitely cheating in a big way!! Time to give that guy the boot and don't look back!

I know it sucks, but I tell ya, when I fall, I fall hard and deep, my man goes on a pedestal, some times they don't belong there........

Posted by: buff_tat2d_chic

Quote:

Originally posted by Prince
how do you know that I closed it?

Cause you told us you were closing it...too many hot heads

Posted by: buff_tat2d_chic

Quote:

Originally posted by katie64
I wanna come to TX and visit Buff..........I consider myself single, I can do that...........

If you are ever in TX give us a yell

Posted by: katie64

Quote:

Originally posted by buff_tat2d_chick
If you are ever in TX give us a yell

My plan is to come down this winter, I'll be going to Plano but I want to meet all the IM Texas beauties, too

Oh and I'll be kidless(woohoo), they'll be with my Mom in Florida, going there first...........

Posted by: Prince

Quote:

Originally posted by buff_tat2d_chick
Cause you told us you were closing it...too many hot heads

oh, that is a good way to know then.

Posted by: buff_tat2d_chic

Quote:

Originally posted by Prince
oh, that is a good way to know then.

LOL Yes it is

Posted by: kuso

Quote:

Originally posted by Leslie

That goes with how you act with real people in life as well, not just online friends.

Thats a good point. I don`t see why so many people feel that being online makes any difference in they way you interect with other people.......seems to me it often brings out the worst in many.

Posted by: kuso

And buff, you said you`d keep this our secret

Posted by: buff_tat2d_chic

Quote:

Originally posted by kuso
seems to me it often brings out the worst in many.

What are you try'in ta say??!!?!? Whats your fucking point?!?!?!?!?!

j/k

Posted by: DaMayor

Quote:

Originally posted by kuso
Thats a good point. I don`t see why so many people feel that being online makes any difference in they way you interect with other people.......seems to me it often brings out the worst in many.

What are you talking about!!! You frickin' jerk!! Tell me what I'm about will ya!?! Sheep Humper tude:

Heh heh heh.

Posted by: buff_tat2d_chic

Quote:

Originally posted by kuso
And buff, you said you`d keep this our secret

Well babe I just couldn't help myself

Posted by: DaMayor

Looks like it's Me and Buff who have the secret!.....Or a lot in common..

Posted by: DaMayor

Kuso, you should have seen that one coming.....

Posted by: buff_tat2d_chic

Cum'on DM...lets me and you get outta here!!

Posted by: DaMayor

I'm with you, babe!

Aw shit! I'm married!

Posted by: buff_tat2d_chic

Quote:

Originally posted by DaMayor

Aw shit! I'm married!

...so am I!

But remember what thread we are in

Posted by: kuso

See what I mean? I walk away and have a shower and already my babe is cybering with DM

Now hows that for a perfect set up?

Posted by: buff_tat2d_chic

Quote:

Originally posted by kuso

See what I mean? I walk away and have a shower and already my babe is cybering with DM

Now hows that for a perfect set up?

Thats alright...you can cum, too. We'll have some REAL fun

...well... at least I will

Posted by: katie64

Quote:

Doesn't bring out the worst in me...............I am who I am all the time

Aren't you???????

Posted by: Dero

Can I cum too,and not to worry ...I'm NOT MARRIED!!!

Some do... some don't...
Some don't even think of it!!!

Posted by: buff_tat2d_chic

Posted by: BUSTINOUT

I agree...yes it is cheating. Not to mention completely disrespectful to your partner. It's nice to see some with boundaries and not just a bunch of horndogs trying to rationalize their sleezeball behavior by saying "well it's not actually physical". Once words come out of your mouth (or your keyboard), you have just breathed life into your thoughts and you are on a very slippery slope.

Posted by: Sapphire

Hmm.. I just had to give my opinion on this one.....

I would say YES it is cheating in a sense and VERY dangerous, especially when you are having problems with your spouse. It allows you to meet and "have sex" with someone you don't really know, who seems perfect to you. They don't have bad breath in the am, they don't fart, they always want to have sex with you etc..... They can say all the things you want or need to hear.....

You can actually fall in love.. (as Katie can attest to), which always leads to a broken heart ... either YOURS or your spouse's.

Take it from me (and unfortunately I speak from experience) SOMEONE ALMOST ALWAYS GETS HURT! In my case, it was me. I am still trying to get over my perfect guy, I don't know if I ever will.

Posted by: david

To make it real short and simple.... I think the situation depends and varies.... but if it takes away from the person your with and your confused with your emotions... then yes... I do think it's wrong.

Friendships= friendships
Online Relationships = Well.... 5th amendment!

Posted by: kuso

Quote:

Originally posted by david

Online Relationships = Well.... 5th amendment!

Flirting with your own alias doesn`t count!!!!

Posted by: david

that is true.... wt

Spill the beans!!!! Whose doing that? LMAO!!!!!!

Posted by: buff_tat2d_chic

Hey ya Kuso

Posted by: kuso

Quote:

Originally posted by buff_tat2d_chick
Hey ya Kuso

Hey sexy.......hows things?

Posted by: buff_tat2d_chic

Go'in pretty damn good. I even feel good. I really should go to bed and get some sleep. We didn't go to bed until 7 am this morning...lots of partying

Posted by: BUSTINOUT

Dave, you bring up a very good point here. Since I'm not one much for "sitting on the fence" when it comes to most issues, I'm just curious as to when it would be okay to get involved in the situation in question? If someone is in a monogomous relationship is there ever a time it would NOT be wrong?

But you are right, it depends on the situation...

If you are single, it is okay. If you are not single, then it is not okay. Not much room for gray.

Posted by: david

Well, I guess that would consist of behaviours patterns... annoying patterns that is... no sex... no time... no intimacy and constanly on the computer= broken relationship.

Definitely agree with the single thing! Good for SINGLE people only.

Now......... Subject: Flirting??

Posted by: I Are Baboon

Yes, online affairs are cheating and can be very destructive. Of course there is no physical contact, but the emotional bond is there, which is just as important. If I found out my wife was having one of these online affairs, I would not stand for it.

Personally, I've never flirted or engaged in online relationships. I prefer the old-fashioned face to face contact myself.

Posted by: katie64

Quote:

Originally posted by naturaltan
Katie ... that is definitely cheating in a big way!! Time to give that guy the boot and don't look back!

Guess what, just did a little more research and he has another account in the f**king adult profile section, amazing.............am I fugging stupid or what,

, obviously enough is enough, life can really be a fucking joke sometimes.........

Katie is totally fucking blown away once again..............guess ya got the loser part right MMA

Posted by: Sapphire

Quote:

Originally posted by katie64
Guess what, just did a little more research and he has another account in the f**king adult profile section, amazing.............am I fugging stupid or what,

, obviously enough is enough, life can really be a fucking joke sometimes.........

Katie is totally fucking blown away once again..............guess ya got the loser part right MMA

I go to agree with NT, Get rid of that guy!! You are a sweet, beautiful woman!! F him!! You will find the right guy, one who will treat you RIGHT!!!! Katie are u OK???? PM me if you need to talk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU ARE NOT STUPID!!!!!! You trust an assh*&e , that's all!! We have ALL done that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: butterfly

I agree with everyone here... except Dave, I'm not really sure what his point was

... and esp. with KATIE NEED TO DROP THE DEADWEIGHT SOB!!!

Posted by: Pitboss

Quote:

Originally posted by tidalwaverus
Well now that we have web cam chat LIVE online sex is pretty real. Yes it is cheating if you caught your spouse with their pants down online, only thing worse is in person. No differance

Love without trust is nothing but sex!

Oops. That sounds like me

okay I have to toss my two cents in... that's all I can afford.

I agree with everything everyone is saying.. except for David he kind of lost me to Butterfly.. LOL

But then again I have to rethink this and wonder is it really cheating? I mean we are adults right? We should be able to control ou actions and how far we take them. If "cyber sex" is cheating because it's not something you can do with your partner standing behind you (great way to put it though Prince, I liked that definition) .. so with that said is masturbating to porn cheating? Is phone sex cheating.. do they still have those 976 numbers??

To add to that is masturbating without your partner a form of cheating? Are you saying that he/she does not quite fullfill your needs and you have to resort to other means of gratification?

Is it cheating??? yeah I guess, in a way. But at the same time it's just another form of "self" gratification as long as you don't cross boundries like making plans to meet that person, etc.

Okay I'm single and I'm going on 10 or 11 days of celebacy so my comments may be a bit fogged. I have no clue what I am talking about and I'm pretty sure whatever I said just got me a chair on the right hand side of the Devil....

Hey Tidal. PM me your work address. I may be riding down your way on Friday and would like to stop by and say "HI" .. that's if it's okay with you and your work allows that. No promises just a thought.

Posted by: YourallIwant

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pitboss

Oops. That sounds like me

Interesting thought... is masturbating cheating then....

I think yes... but then no.... im not sure...

Posted by: Crono1000

titanya and I met on the internet

Posted by: irontime

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crono1000

titanya and I met on the internet

??????
So what the hell kind of story is that?

Let's read some of the cyber sex letters you guys had.

Posted by: The Monkey Man

Quote:

Originally Posted by irontime

??????
So what the hell kind of story is that?

Let's read some of the cyber sex letters you guys had.

I thought someon was going to post pics?

Posted by: reimon

Frankly I dont give a fuck if the girl's chatting with some guy online or she's getting fucked by him... As long as I hit that ass often enough and she wears a condom when she fucks other people. I have no problem with girls sleeping around.

If you think about it, us guys wanna sleep with the most ammount of women possible? They're human too, they wanna do the same too. Sure lotta chicks would be upset if I'm fucking other women behind their back, but thats why you keep it secret.

Posted by: Randy

Quote:

Originally Posted by Robert DiMaggio

yes they are.

Here is a question that Dr. Phil said is a good way to determine if what you're doing is wrong or bad:

If your spouse were standing over your shoulder would you still do it?

So, if you're doing something online, talking with someone, whatever, ask yourself if you would do/say/type, etc. if your husband or wife were standing right there watching you?

If the answer is no, then it's not right and you should not be doing it. Period.

Dayammmm Prince...Now you just spoiled it for everyone

Posted by: Randy

Quote:

Originally Posted by reimon

Frankly I dont give a fuck if the girl's chatting with some guy online or she's getting fucked by him... As long as I hit that ass often enough and she wears a condom when she fucks other people. I have no problem with girls sleeping around.

If you think about it, us guys wanna sleep with the most ammount of women possible? They're human too, they wanna do the same too. Sure lotta chicks would be upset if I'm fucking other women behind their back, but thats why you keep it secret.

Reimon, I think you deperately need to see Dr. Phil

Posted by: reimon

Dr. Phil? Who's that? Im missin something..

Posted by: Randy

Quote:

Originally Posted by reimon

Dr. Phil? Who's that? Im missin something..

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