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Woman of Wonder with great Desire


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Posted by: chiquita6683

i guess ill tell u my story first..... 12/28/00, I was hit on the passenger side @50mph (my xboyfriend was driving,there was no drinking, we were actually going into a Bailey's gym). He only had a concusion, I however was left w several broken bones, was ina coma over a month, numerous other injuries, but the worst of the injuries was a Traumatic Brain Injury, which I'll have the rest of my life. I went through 2yrs of therapy of all kinds.

Then on 9/13/02, my mother was driving me to school and was hit on her side, she passed away a week later, but of other health complications. I sustained a 2nd brain injury, both TBIs were on the frontal lobe of my brain. I was put back into therapy, still going through some. The right side of my body is weaker/slower and I have MANY cognitive deficiets and my speech is greatly affected. Thats why this goal will be such a challenge.

My new goal is to compete in a bodybuilding competition, naturally, not to win, but to come back from this and be the best I can be. I see the patients(that have similar injuries) when I go to therapy, and I realize how lucky I am. That is 1 of my reasons I want to compete. All of your support is greatly appreciated.



Posted by: hikerchick

wow chiquita, you have had a tough couple years. Welcome to IM! That is so awesome that you are working out again and staying strong. Good luck with your goals!


Posted by: greekblondechic

Hey chiq!!!

whats up girl, your story is so sad, but its good to see u on this board..I just started my journal last night and already i love it..
All the best..I know u can do it! *hugs* Vivian


Posted by: hardasnails1973

Glad to see you made it chicky after twsiting both of your arms you are both over here LOL This will be best move you have made trust me and things will only get better ...


Posted by: atherjen

wow hun you have been through alot! You have everyones support here to reach your goals! best of luck


Posted by: Monolith

For someone who's already triumphed over so much adversity, this goal should be an easy one.

You'll get plenty of support from the IM members here. Good luck!


Posted by: chiquita6683

thank 4 every1s support..........i madea yahoo group i made when i started training, n posted stuff, like when i was really xcited i had done free squats4the first time. i always stay w the smith machine bc my equilibriums off, but in the post i was really excited, but no1 replyd gee, u guys r great. maybe ill post some stuff i had in the group.
i knew about about IM but didnt think to post it here..........besides u guys kinda intimidate me. every1s on like another level, im trying to make it to my 1st competition. i look at competitiors, like a little kid does when they see bodybuilders on tv, rite now. i told my trainer this and she said.....she was like this 2, but after her 1st competition, her whole outlook changed about evrything. when[if] i ever compete i hope mine will 2
o yea! ok my story says that i have some cognitive deficits, remember? so yea like every1else posts theyre diet/training...... ha well i have alot of help soo, i have a trainer bc i get lost in the gym n dont remember which machine to do next, or like i cant even keep count 4 a whole set, so she counts out loud ect.ect. n my brother cooks all my meals on sundays, he had to go shopping w me the 1st time too he is a chef ata gournet catering place so he knows how to make everything really good n probly unhealthy, i was cooking on my own be4 n kept burning/cutting myself. im really grateful i have him


Posted by: naturaltan

I agree with Monol ... competing in a bb contest should be a cake walk compared to what you've already been through.

Good luck. It will be interesting to follow your journey to competing and I'm sure many others that have or are overcoming disadvantages will enjoy the journey and possibly provide them with some additional motivation.


Posted by: chiquita6683

i was gonna add more to that last post, but i cant member what it was i pressed enter steada shift n it posted it


Posted by: chiquita6683

heres what i was when i started training: on 11/3/03

11/3/03
btw im 5'8
Current Body Weight: 160lbs

Body Composition Measurements:
Skydex Setting: 7
Biceps: 10.6
Triceps: 27.9
Subscapula: 15.2
Iliac Crest: 23.3
Overall Bodyfat: 33.1%
lean muscle mass is 107.4 lbs

body fat is 52.96

Body Circumference Measurements:
Neck: 14
Chest: 38
Thigh: 25.5
Upper Arm: 12.5
Waist: 33.5
Calf: 14.75
Forearm: 10.5
Hip: 39.25

that was over a month ago, i may have lost a lil body fat cause i been doing the eliptical 30-45mins 4times a week, n my diet WAS clean, but i hada bad weekend on my diet, n im sure itll be even worse thru the new year.
yeah + i didnt understand anything about bb. i thought i was going to start cutting january 1 n compete in april sometime, just like i thought i was going to compete in october........wehe hell, its been a total lifestyle change.
i wanted to go from A to Z in just afew months, thats not gonna happen, or if it did id bea total mess. over the weekend i realized that i have to go to B, C, D, and so on first
so i told my trainer and my family over the weekend, that i wasnt ready to cut, it was just2much2soon. so im gonna just train for a yr or 2 or whenever my trainer thinks im ready. so i guess ima be "bulking" or whatever BUT i do know to keep it clean. i will still have "my personal chef" prepare my meals the way he prepares them.......however when i start to cut my trainer will have to give him a lecture but thatsa a looooong long time from now so i do realize that my measurements/body comp arent that great, [compared to every1else on here] but everybodys gotta start somewhere.......i no i do have a long way to go, physically and in my recovery.


Posted by: chiquita6683

Date: Thu Dec 11, 2003 8:01 am
Subject: Training Maria


ADVERTISEMENT


It's funny how we take the little things in life for granted. I
started training Maria in hopes to see her compete. But now I look
forward to seeing the excitement in her eyes with each improvement
she makes. Not to mention the physical and verbal reactions I get to
witness from Maria herself. It's rather amusing. People hear her
story and may think it's inspiring but you really don't appreciate it
as much unless your with Maria. There will be days where I've had a
bad day or a bad workout. Every time I train with Maria she inspires
me to overcome my own obstacles (which don't amount to hers) and it
pushes me that much harder. If I could take a 1/4 of what drives
Maria and dispurse a little in everyone, we would all accomplish that
much more in life. I wish all of you could get a chance to meet
Maria and experience what I have learned from her. She's awesome and
she'll achieve whatever she puts her mind to. Everyone can expect
1st place from her first show. Love ya Maria and keep up the HARD
work!

awww! it makes me feel warm n squishy inside everytime i read it



Posted by: Monolith

So when are you gonna start cutting?

You said you've been training for about a month now, right? What are your immediate goals?


Posted by: chiquita6683

yea im just gonna relax bout that, n just train 4a while. gain some strength n mass. i really do not plan on competeing until my trainer says so, altho she did say we might give cutting a few "test runs" to see how my body reacts. something like low cal/carb days then up the cal/carbs or maybe i do better some other way. u no? of course u do, u've probly cut down a million times already. well anyway, idk anything bout all that or those "stages", thats y i gotta trainer


Posted by: chiquita6683


o yea maybe i should mention to every1......
that i had a craniotomy[brain surgery] at the time of my 2nd accident 9/13/02, to releive pressure or something. and the doctors gave me a steroid, that caused me to gain weight.....at the beginning of the year, i was over 210lbs + i ate bc i got all depressed then i had a turning point, so ive been working my azz off all year to get whe weight off, n now itll be another year or so till i compete. thats all my life has been ever since the accident[S], hurry up n wait..... i want it now! gurrrrr!
*sigh* ok all i got is time, i'm only 20yrs/o, i have many many many things to accomplish in my life, thats y God kept me here
somebody needs to tell me that i can do this or that im on the rite track


Posted by: Monolith

Quote:
Originally posted by chiquita6683

o yea maybe i should mention to every1......
that i had a craniotomy[brain surgery] at the time of my 2nd accident 9/13/02, to releive pressure or something. and the doctors gave me a steroid, that caused me to gain weight.....at the beginning of the year, i was over 210lbs + i ate bc i got all depressed then i had a turning point, so ive been working my azz off all year to get whe weight off, n now itll be another year or so till i compete. thats all my life has been ever since the accident[S], hurry up n wait..... i want it now! gurrrrr!
*sigh* ok all i got is time, i'm only 20yrs/o, i have many many many things to accomplish in my life, thats y God kept me here
somebody needs to tell me that i can do this or that im on the rite track
Yeah, sounds good. Just get acclimated to training first. Sounds like your trainer has a good plan.

It's really motivating for me to see how dedicated you are to accomplishing your goals. Makes my excuses for slacking off with my diet or exercise look pretty stupid in comparison.

Keep this journal updated.


Posted by: Jenny

welcome to IM! You are one tough chick and I know you can do this!


Posted by: chiquita6683

i just worked on the best post! n it was so long
aw im sorry my attentions pretty spent


Posted by: Stacey

Welcome to IM!!! You are an amazing woman!!
Good Luck with your goals!!

And Merry Christmas


Posted by: chiquita6683

wow thanx 4 the support, wasnt 2sure if there wwere gonna be alota women or not, but theresalotta chicks! ah yes! feelin the girl power
so anywayz......this morning, me and my trainer just talked 4the hr we usually train, which was really nice. i deal w things a different way than everybodyelse, so i was stressin out cause my routine is outa wack, which totally threw me off this week[bad week]. but she said those things were really little, not to worry, n shes right! at least im here, n alive!
everybody stresses so much about these things, n u shouldnt ..... i mean yea if ur cutting 4a contest. i havent done a contest yet so im stressing like now
but have a good holiday! and a happy new year! this year we can start over, fresh n new!


Posted by: Dante B.

Wow.

That's absolutely incredible, and certainly inspiring.



Respect.

--Dante


Posted by: katie64

Wow Chiquita, amazing sweetheart, you are truly an inspiration and your outlook is inspiring to say the least, great luck to you with your goals, it's so obvious you will accomplish anything you choose to do in this lifetime, and yes I believe God chooses special people to be powers of example to others..........I will definitely be reading your journal to help keep me motivated, so glad you are here


Posted by: bandaidwoman

You truley are a woman of wonder. As someone stated before, this will be a natural extension of your physical therapy involving the same gritty determination and stamina and discipline....all the traits that got you through much of your recovery. You are a true inspiration.


Posted by: chiquita6683

ill post things about bbing but i think ill post some things about my recovery, as well. i assume it inspires a few people.
u no 1 thing that ive noticed.........on days that i train, im very alert n my speech is faster, u cant tell anythings wrong w me, some1 said to me "your doing great, this is the Maria i remember."

on days that i dont train, im very slow, and kind of "in a daze". yesterday, xmas, i didnt train and i was in that daze again. we were having dinner, everybody was talking and laughing while they ate. nothing was wrong w me, but i just stared at my food n ate n didnt say anything to anybody. when/if some1 doesnt know ive been in an accident, theyll ask me whats wrong.

it just shows u how im getting better, and improving in my recovery. its not just an extension in physical therapy but cognitively and all around. i seem to remember things better when i train. working out gets ur blood flowing, more oxygen to the brain. i dont really know the scientific way of xplaining it, but im sure u no what i mean. i beleive that ill be the very first TBI survivor to compete in a bb competition!

all other survivors have the worst attitude, i did 2. but i became Aware of how lucky i am. the other day i was at the HBOT chamber and the other patient i was going with,was still in the hospital, has a story all her own.......she has a TBI also(car wreck), but she had ensephalitis too (not sure of the spelling, its some disease w ur spinal cord, i think)..........so anyways she had just come out of a coma, she was ina wheelchair, she had on a diaper, she could barely talk...........n i looked at her and watched her get ready to go in. i thought about what people told me now, about the time when i was probly like her......unaware of herself, her surroundings. i was in a coma longer than she was, i had to wear diapers i was ina wheelchair ect ect. ive really come along way! i didnt even realize it

i think that this is another sign that im getting better, before i would go to therapy n see other patients worse off than i was but i wouldnt even think anything of it.
also i wouldnt even realize my personal appearance. thank god for my older sister! she shaved my legs once a week, even when i was ina deep coma bc she knew I wouldnt let myself go, if i was consience. gawd i luv my sister!!!


Posted by: chiquita6683

so how was everybody's christmas? mine was pretty good. i gotta digital camera which is what i had asked 4 2bad i cant figure out how to use it! i atea buncha garbage that was delicious! xmas only comes oncea yr! but the leftovers r still around my house, but next yr im gonna be real good, promise


Posted by: katie64

Thank you for your post Maria, certainly touches my heart, glad you got what you wanted for christmas, digi's can be hard to use, I'm just trying to figure out how to record a video on mine and I've had it for a year. Take care babe, again it's nice to have you here at IM.


Posted by: chiquita6683

thank you katie. i apprecate it, n all support i get.

sorry 4 not posting anything on others journals, it just takes me soo long to make a post in my journal that i really dont have any attention left to read any1 elses.
but i browse em, looks like every1s doing great!


Posted by: Monolith

bump

where are the updates?


Posted by: chiquita6683

i hate it when that happens! i was making a nice long post updateing u, telling u about my traing since xmas. but i pressed something else n it said webpage expired when i came back
*sigh* ok ill come back n post something real real soon. promise

key* note to self* TAKE ONE THING AT A TIME. AT MY OWN PACE! . TAKE THINGS DAY BY DAY.......i cant do anything about yesterday, deal w tomorrow when it comes, try to do my best RIGHT NOW!!![n plan 4the future]


Posted by: Hammerlynn

Quote:
Originally posted by chiquita6683
i TAKE ONE THING AT A TIME. AT MY OWN PACE! . TAKE THINGS DAY BY DAY.......i cant do anything about yesterday, deal w tomorrow when it comes, try to do my best RIGHT NOW!!![n plan 4the future]

Something we all need to remember!


Posted by: katie64

Quote:
Originally posted by chiquita6683
i hate it when that happens! i was making a nice long post updateing u, telling u about my traing since xmas. but i pressed something else n it said webpage expired when i came back
*sigh* ok ill come back n post something real real soon. promise

key* note to self* TAKE ONE THING AT A TIME. AT MY OWN PACE! . TAKE THINGS DAY BY DAY.......i cant do anything about yesterday, deal w tomorrow when it comes, try to do my best RIGHT NOW!!![n plan 4the future]
Maria...............sometimes when I'm going to make a long post, I will write it in microsoft works word processor and then copy and paste it into my journal, I've done the same thing, a few times

You just can't add smilies , well you could but


I also try to live my life a day at a time, sometimes a minute at a time


Posted by: chiquita6683

ADVERTISEMENT


I started with 3day training in November but now I'm up to 5
days!
Per week, + I do cardio on Saturday and I also go to Yoga class
sometimes, there's a class everyday of the week but I only make
it
when I'm sore or had a really good day with everything.
Good Day = got ready in plenty of time, so I don't feel rushed,
remembered to take my supplements at every meal, if it's a really
good day…… I might take my vitamins and supplements w just
straight
water in the morning. [I do take my supplements w every other meal w
straight water, but breakfast is the hardest, because I take Beverly
International's Super Pak (a lot of huge vitamins), 4 mass aminos
AND my prescription pills!] at a.m. meal I take pills/supplements
with unsweetened applesauce sometimes. I had a tracheotomy after my
1st accident, so it's a lil' hard to swallow sometimes

So here's my training day: Mon. =Legs/Abs, Tues. =Chest/Calves,
Wed. =Shldrs/Hams, Thurs. =Back/Abs, Fri. =Bi/Tri/Calves, n then I
go over to Gold's to tan and do 30 mins. + Cardio usually on the
elliptical machine. Oh yea, I found my trainer down the street from
there @Corey Everson's Fitness for Women. But that's another
story,
why I'm a member @both gyms, gotta stay focused on this post.
Yay!
Aren't u proud of me, my trainer wrote it down for me so I could
tell u

O yea! Another thing that was in that post that didn't make it
was
telling about the story about Friday………………
LOL ok so u know how when u do a rep u can usually see your
muscle flex?
Well u could see mine baby! I must've had a smart, funny smirk
on
my face bc my trainer showed me what to do to be cocky
After I went in the manager's office, I was like "Excuse me?
Would u
like to Bi some of this …….. or just Tri it?" *flexing as I
said it*
It was so funny! She had me ask her next client n do the same thing.
I'm such a cocky lil' Shit! I can't wait to start
cutting! Shit,
after all that I've been through, I deserve to be a lil'
Cocky!


Posted by: chiquita6683

here's something to help you better understand what i'm going
thru/have a dificulty with. following my accident(S), i had a more
difficult time than i do now. however it does not mean that "It'll
Just Get Better" On Its Own, Eventually. this is a disability i will
have the rest of my life........this makes not only Bodybuilding
hard, but EVERYTHING in everyday life, but i make improvements
everyday.
However, i do have a personal trainer, and she has competed before,
and won. i have the right help to get me there, and the
drive..........
http://www.tbiguide.com/howbrainworks.html


Posted by: katie64

Thanks for the site Maria, lots of great information there, my x-husbands brother was also injured in the frontal lobe area when he was a child, he was riding his bike down a big hill, crossed the road at the end and a car hit him, he still has difficulties now as an adult, but his outlook is much like yours, with a genuine desire to achieve anything. I have nothing but respect for you, life itself is a challenge, let alone with a disability, kudos to you babe


Posted by: chiquita6683

omg! i just read some other people journals i am soo itimidated, i feel like a VERY FAT, VERY STUPID PEICE OF LARD.
i doubt ill post anything on here anymore


Posted by: Hammerlynn

What?? Please dont feel like that and do not stop posting here! I'm 40lbs from where I should be and I certainly do not feel intimidated by anyone...more than anything I'm inspired on a daily basis. Looking at the pics, avis and hearing about the success of others! We beat ourselves up too much by comparing ourselves to others!

Come on girl...you've been through too damn much to turn away now!! I work with clients who are mentally retarded, have TBI and some cerebral palsy. You have overcome something amazing that some of them never will.....do not EVER give up!

Rant over


Posted by: katie64

Quote:
Originally posted by chiquita6683
omg! i just read some other people journals i am soo itimidated, i feel like a VERY FAT, VERY STUPID PEICE OF LARD.
i doubt ill post anything on here anymore
Oh No That would be terrible for you not to post anymore, please continue, we love seeing your progress, your enthusiasm alone is a great motivator for some of us. We all have varying goals and our walks are all different, you know what I am like from my PM's if I had compared myself to most of these women here, I would never be able to accomplish what I am, they have taught me what I need to learn about nutrition and training, if I had given up and left IM, I would be where I started. I am still only a 1/3 of the way to meeting my goals, I continue because of what others here have accomplished, I pray you change your mind and continue your journal, my PM offer still stands if you need, take care


Posted by: chiquita6683

ok sorry bout my last post, must've had a mood swing or something
Typical Day
700am- awake
Take supplements/vitamins/pills w 1c unsweetened applesauce
Eat pancakes = w 8eggwhites, 1/2c oatmeal + 1/4c sugar free syrup
About ½-1 qt water
Shower, get ready for gym, taxi gets me by 900am
I train w my personal trainer @930-1030, take more supplements, I go to another gym down street for 30-45minutes on elliptical machine, I get home around noon or 100

I shower and warm-up 1 of Chef Andreu’s meals……could be 1 of the following:
Ziploc container = 1/2c section, 1c section, a big square section.
Big square section=
5oz. Chicken or steak
Seasonings= chicken- parmesan/romano cheese + Prego lite, tomato basil sauce /
Kikkoman’s Lite Teriyaki sauce
1c=
Sautéed fresh spinach cooked in olive oil/
Zuchinni and Squash, baked w something/
Spring Greens, 2tblsp Newman’s Own balsamic vinaigrette
1/2c=
6oz sweet potato/
Whole wheat pasta

Or (I make my breakfast and this on my own!)
Qrt. Size container of:
Spring greens and 1 can of low sodium tuna 3tbsp of Newman’s Own balsamic vinaigrette

I eat my brother’s ‘special recipe’ of turkey meatloaf 1-2 times a day
I drink over a gallon of water a day
I hate protein powders, I only have 1 if I have to, whole foods are better, aren’t they?
Supplements= Beverly International’s Super Pak, Mass Amino 16 per day
I try to eat 5 times a day

arentcha prouda me?! i memberd alll that, thats alota stuff to think about! specially 4me


Posted by: katie64

We're allowed moody days, we're women right




back at cha babe


Posted by: chiquita6683

ok itsabout 130 in the afternoon on saturday, i just woke up @1200. i honestly just feel like doing nothing today, but i guess ill do cardio later. ive eaten like a typical american since yesterday afternoon too. but ya know, who the fuck cares! competition isnt until like next year,or whenever my trainer says. which wont be 4 quite awhile...........so get this, i went on a date lastnite
the guy totally made me feel so special, and beautiful, n was really honored to take me out. so this was quite a unique date, we went to this hoity toity place, even the side of town it was on was hoity toity-Avondale, ooh! the restraunt was called Biscotti's, i've been there be4, the foods ok but the real reason u go there is 4 the deserts, they r like really decadent, rich and big.
so we get there n there is like a 25min wait, after like 15mins i say to him, "lets go........but i cant leave wout 1a these." i got some choclate cake w peanutbutter icing i think, but it was called some big name and like really big and beautiful and everything. he got choclate expresso cheesecake (also called some big pretty name). yea i had some of his, and ALL of mine.............
but we didnt eat there, we got the deserts to go and went to taco bell.
so ya know, it was really really nice to just 'not care, n be lazy as anything'. im not stuck up, n care what i look like, i look good damnit! n to have been where ive been n looked like the shit i look like, omg, i am amazing. i really do not give myself enuf credit! my head was 1/2 shaved, i was 220lbs, n omg!
k why wont the damn smileys work?
ok i just lost my traina thought/got distracted, n i dont wanna read everything i wrote. but im sure it was none of ur businness, but this a journal n i dont have any friends so yea my attentions gone, so ima just post it n regret it later i guess, thanx


Posted by: chiquita6683

ok ya know what, as im sitting here im eating a pb & banana sandwich n its so damn good! last nite just threw off my focus, but 1 weekend isnt going to kill me rite? (tellme its gonna be ok) my trainer always says, when i tell her ive been/going to be bad, "tomorrows a brand new day" or something along those lines. i luv my trainer bc shes competed n yet she's still kind of a lil bit "normal", shell be like "i had wings n a 12pack lastnite" but then again she has competed be4 n will again, so when shes cutting she doesnt play around.
somebody on here said i should be inspired when i read the others journal, n my trainer says she looks at pictures of bbs for inspiration..........but ya know what, NONE of that inspires me. bc its like "theyre normal, they can do it" n none of yall have been thru the shit i have......but i do realize every body goes thru their own kind of shit, some of u guys just seem insane.


Posted by: chiquita6683

ok ya know what, as im sitting here im eating a pb & banana sandwich n its so damn good! last nite just threw off my focus, but 1 weekend isnt going to kill me rite? (tellme its gonna be ok) my trainer always says, when i tell her ive been/going to be bad, "tomorrows a brand new day" or something along those lines. i luv my trainer bc shes competed n yet she's still kind of a lil bit "normal", shell be like "i had wings n a 12pack lastnite" but then again she has competed be4 n will again, so when shes cutting she doesnt play around.
But this sandwich is on wholewheat bread and im drinking water and i did 10mins on the stairmaster and35on the eliptical today!
somebody on here said i should be inspired when i read the others journal, n my trainer says she looks at pictures of bbs for inspiration..........but ya know what, NONE of that inspires me. bc its like "theyre normal, they can do it" n none of yall have been thru the shit i have......but i do realize every body goes thru their own kind of shit, some of u guys just seem insane.


Posted by: katie64

Hi Maria

Just wondering how your doing????


Posted by: atherjen

remember hun to not compare yourself to others or their goals, do this for yourself only! thats what matters the most! Best of luck


Posted by: chiquita6683

yea thanx jen, i need to remember that! im doing good, training is still going good, no its great! awesome! my trainer n i are really proud.
diet is somewhat good i mean the rest of u it seems, keep super freaky clean diets(what ive seen) all thats important is that i get enough protein rite now right? its clean all week, but on the weekends its really hard, all my family and friends eat crap.......but its SO GOOD! and easy to just eat it (


Posted by: atherjen

Quote:
Originally posted by chiquita6683
yea thanx jen, i need to remember that! im doing good, training is still going good, no its great! awesome! my trainer n i are really proud.
diet is somewhat good i mean the rest of u it seems, keep super freaky clean diets(what ive seen) all thats important is that i get enough protein rite now right? its clean all week, but on the weekends its really hard, all my family and friends eat crap.......but its SO GOOD! and easy to just eat it (
glad to hear your having awesome workouts hun! Keep it up!
try the best that you can do with the diet. get your daily levels of protein, aim for complex carbs and get in some healthy fats.
if you need to let go a "bit" on the weekend dont be too hard on yourself. just remember everything in moderation.


Posted by: chiquita6683

hey every1
omg everything is so awesome! ive started driving therapy (yea 4the second time) AND started cooking on my own!!!
everything is starting to come together! i hada great workout this morning! my trainer told me ill be doin everything on my own in no time! my next goal is gonna be to live independently on my own.......but i wanna continue to live this lifestyle also, forever! i really beleive that this kind of lifestyle has truly helped me! i mean i grocery shop n cook by myself, n its helped me alot cognitively, ive only burned myself a few times.....well actually all the time but NO cuts!.....yet anywayz ooh ooh! my speech has improved too! i mean i have my moments, but who doesnt:P and uh...........i forgot what else i was gonna say. ill post it later. o yea, im getting bigger! well my upperbody anywayz, but there was somethin else i was gonna say, gguuurrrrrrr!


Posted by: bandaidwoman

Great news!


Posted by: chiquita6683

o yea! i member now what i was gonsay! i changed my diet a lil last time i had driving therapy........so i had alreadty started cookin on my own and all, but i hadnt been to the grocery store yet (bc i hadnt gotten my check yet :blush: ) so i usually have alota protein for breakfast, but that morning [the day i hada driving session] i ate a bagel and a bowla cereal, no protein,.........
later that day in therapy, i was like kinda nervous n jerky w the wheel, n maybe 2hard on the brakes, n my therapist started asking me..........had i changed any meds, was i doing anything different. well i had worked bis/tris and calves that morning, i didnt change any meds.......whatabout my diet?......weeelllll, yea isnt it funny how suchalil thing can throw me off, jeeez!


Posted by: gwcaton

Maria ,

Just checked out your journal for the first time. You have quite the story to tell. It sounds like you have the right attitude and desire to accomplish your goals !

Keep posting !

Gary


Posted by: chiquita6683

thanx gary! i really appreciate everyones support.
how r u katie? i like ur new signature, but all those heads banging at the bottom need to go, theyre annoying for me to look at when im trying to read something, sorry u can leave it


Posted by: chiquita6683

ok whoa! i dunno what came over me this morning, but i woke up at 7am bright and early[4a sunday] and got to work. i made 3 days worth, every single meal. i made the protein pancakes, steak w peas n carrots, rosemary chicken w pole beans and wheat pasta, grilled chicken w pole beans n wheat pasta, then i can make the tuna lastminute. AND i cleaned the whole kitchen! i am soo prouda myself i was liike soo MULTI-tasking! i thought id never be able to do that i had laundry going and different things on different burners and something on the george foreman! i cannot beleive how far ive come!
i took an hr nap after only to eat something i hadnt made. but it was damn good!
omg i think of what i did and what i used to say in my head aboutpeople that live this lifestyle, totally intimidated,i was like 'yea theyre freaks!' but i am starting to look and feel like apart of it. i made a lifestyle change!.......yea, i have many reasons that say i shouldnt be able to do this,
its like i have to take a step back, am i really doing this?
this feels great! if i can do it w all the problemss i have, i think any1 can, maybe.
no no no remember how hard it was getting to this point? the day when i was so depressed i couldnt get myself out of bed,[medicine problems] going to therapy day in, day out
aaaaand ok bla bla bla my attentions spent


Posted by: chiquita6683

omg! this is sooo friggin hard!
it takes me 40mins to a whole hour usually to consume a single meal! and yes thats even when its prepared. gurrrr!
it only takes my trainer like 5-10minutes to inhale a meal be4 or after a session of training.
boo hoo hoo! i had a bad day and i feel like whining about something!


Posted by: gwcaton

AWW Maria !! It's ok , everbody is allowed to whine once in awhile .
Hey i checked out your Yahoo profile .... Wow ! you are a cutie !

keep up the good work !!!!!

Gary


Posted by: katie64

Quote:
Originally posted by chiquita6683
thanx gary! i really appreciate everyones support.
how r u katie? i like ur new signature, but all those heads banging at the bottom need to go, theyre annoying for me to look at when im trying to read something, sorry u can leave it
Hey sweetie, you have made some HUGE improvements, good for you girl Removing the head bangers just for you, I'm sick of looking at 'em too

Hey I'm coming down your way next week, I'll be there for 3 weeks on the East Coast, where are you??? I'd love to meet you, think about it, PM me when you have some extra time..

Your very encouraging for me babe, thank you


Posted by: chiquita6683

omigosh!~gasp~
today i did a workout on my own! (sort of, in time i will!) the fact that i even had the guts to think i could do it though, whoa!
likea year when i was trying to loose weight on my own,........ok i joined a new different gym. then it was like i didnt even no how to work out, i got lost in the gym, couldnt count a whole set, it was soo frustrateing! and so i had some very low points, i leave out how upset i got, my father saw this and did something about it..........but i would have mooore waiting, thats all my life is since my accidents, hurry up n wait, then i met Kris, she is teaching me how to do this! its been along time getting to this point! haha and im only gonna go even further baby!!!
sorry im skipping around allot and putting down incomplete thoughts but i cant type fast enough, concentrateing! well whatever idk i hada good workout! my confidence is building as im more independent and my body changes....ah!!!! im so damn prouda myself!


Posted by: gwcaton

Way to go Maria !

Gary


Posted by: chiquita6683

i forgot to make the post i just made in word like katie said n i pressed something wrong n the whole thing is gone! gurrrr! hate it when that happens! o well ill post it tomorrow if i remember


Posted by: chiquita6683

i forgot to make the post i just made in word like katie said n i pressed something wrong n the whole thing is gone! gurrrr! hate it when that happens! o well ill post it tomorrow if i remember


Posted by: chiquita6683

i forgot to make the post i just made in word like katie said n i pressed something wrong n the whole thing is gone! gurrrr! hate it when that happens! o well ill post it tomorrow if i remember


Posted by: chiquita6683

wow i have soo much to tell u. im gonna start cutting! 12 weeks.but be4 that im going to the cheesecake factory day be4 i start
not cutting 4a competition, but my aunt retired in febuary, in about 12 weeks, were going to Mellorca. one of the balearic islands off the coast of spain n france. its like the european vacation spot, maybe ill see somebody famous but i actually wanted to cut bc ive seen changes in my body, and my trainr says its good to cut, ill get harder n stuff everytime.
hahaha, damnit im not shy! after going thru what ive been thru and loosing over 50lbs, u better beleive i prance aroud my gym ina sportsbra, something i never did be4.
theresa nude beach! i want to be the best looking 1 on the beach! i hope thats not like,.......whats the word ...... im like not into looks n stuff,i hate bbs that use juice, n have silicone breasts thats the only reason y i hate bbing n stuff, i go to competitions n it seems like every1 stuckup or fake and beautiful. im really sorry if some women have fake boobs and are reading this. ima natural kinda gal, always have been and will be. but i was always fat and had boobs.
okay sorry got off the subject there, anyway so ill start cutting tuesday n go on the trip in may i think. i might post my diet later but my attentions shot


Posted by: gwcaton

Maria.

that sounds great! Good luck even though you don't need luck, you have all the determination you need.
That sounds like a great trip.

Gary


Posted by: chiquita6683

hey i just read somea greekys journal..........whats ALA???
so yea i stopped taking supplements, just the aminos, im still on vitamins+meds. my trainer doesnt take any, and id save a shitloada $money. umm i forgot


Posted by: JLB001

Maria...if your going to the Cheesecake Factory...I wanna go!!!! I love their Godiva Choc Cheesecake! Its to die for.

Your doing an awesome job with your workouts and how much you have improved! Please don't judge yourself off of what others look like, etc. Right now, I look nowhere like my gallery pics. I could snort like a lil piggy right now!
Take your time and build a solid foundation and go from there!


Posted by: chiquita6683

ok ive been thinking, my trainer/everyones told me from the
beginning, i should do a figure competition. ive just made that
decision consiously, myself!
i really wanted to do a bodybuilding comp, bc i think muscle is
beautiful, thought i could build muscle easily and i wanted show off
all my hard work. (but figure competitors have muscle 2) after the
first time i went to a (bb + figure)show, i saw how the bodybuilders
got to do a routine and have music and it really Pumped me up. the
figure competitors just go on stage with elevator music, do quarter
turns, and stand in front of the judges. i thought "Eww, thats more
of a beauty pageant! Way too prissy/girly for me." I wanted to do a
routine, with really good music.........
but as i thought more about it....... my trainer is a natural
heavyweight bodybuilder, shes been training/competeing for years,
well ive been training 4a lil while now, my bodys made changes, but
its not like hers, anything. she advised that i would really do
better in figure. and i thought omg, i cant remember a whole routine
AND look good/smile in front of amillion people under a spotlight
and bright lights! my nerves/memory will be shot! ok figure, i could
probly do. its alil more classier and boring but those girls work
very hard to get where they are!


Posted by: chiquita6683

hey, i finally posted in my gallery now if i could figure out how to do my avatar?


Posted by: chiquita6683

omg more waiting!!!!! i just sat down w my neurophycologist and
driving therapist, dad and sister......the news was im not ready to
drive yet on my own. she wasnt seeing enuf improvement...yet. there
will be another neurophych and driving evaluation in september. i
wanted to cry, my driving therapist was crying. but she said keep up
what i am doing, there was great/many improvements since my last
injury. soo im gonna keep working on my goal, to compete in figure.
its really important, i be really consistant w everything. diet,
workouts, meds, everything. today was so shitty. i didnt train this
morning bc i spent the day w my sister, which was fine. but i got
outa wack w my diet, and my trainer told me to stop cardio since
thursday bc im about to start cutting. so i feel likea fat bum.
ill just have to focus on cutting, instead of getting depressed
again. i could just sit on my azz n cry the rest of my life, but no
im determined, to be the best I can be. more healing needs to take
place so i can drive again, but maybe ill never drive. damnit i need
to move some place where u dont need to drive!


Posted by: chiquita6683

B C D E F G H I
1
2 Maria Andreu

3
4
5 12 Weeks Out

6 Meal 1:
6 egg whites

7 1/2 cup oatmeal (measure dry)

8
9 Meal 2:
5 oz Lean Meat

10 1/2 cup Brown Rice

11 1 tblspn olive oil

12
13 Meal 3:
5 oz Lean Meat

14 7 oz Baked Potatoe

15 1 tblspn olive oil

16
17 Meal 4:
5 oz Lean Meat

18 1/2 cup Brocc.

19 1 tblspn olive oil

20
21 Meal 5:
5 oz chicken breast

22 1/2 cup brown rice

23 1 tblspn olive oil

24
25 Meal 6:
6 egg whites/1 yolk

26
27 Cardio = elliptical 30 min (2 on/1 off)

AND IM ACTUALLY DOING THIS ON MY OWN! no cuts or burns either! well actually i burn myself like all the time, but at least its not as bad nomore scars yet! i have lots of battlewounds


Posted by: chiquita6683

2-20-04
skyndex setting = 7
biceps=7
triceps=22.3
subscapula=10.5
illiac crest=17.5
overall body fat%= 28.9%

body circumference measurements
neck=14
upper arm=13
forearm=10 1/4
chest=36 3/4
waist=32 1/2
hip=39
thigh=24 1/4
calf=14


Posted by: greekblondechic

hey sweetie keep up the good work


Posted by: chiquita6683

since muscle gets ur BMR up, and i had said originally that i wanted to do bb not figure to begin w..........i think im going to Cut 4my vacation like i said, then when i get back she said well start to go heavy n figure out how my diet should work, but shell hafta teach me bout all that.......she has done soo much 4 me.
i used to follow her around the gym n she counted outloud, but now I can work out on my own!!!
im cooking all my food 2! ive totally adopted this kind of lifestyle, even though its more stressful its forces me to not be lazy in all the other aspects in life and its helped me so much w my recovery!
lastnite i went to an awards dinner of my brain injury support group, But every1 will be proud to know, i stayed on my diet!


Posted by: chiquita6683

3/1/04
154.5lbs
skydex setting 7

biceps 6.7
triceps 21.3
subscapula 10.2
illiac crest 9.4
OVERALL BODY FAT= 26.1%

body circumferennce measurements:
neck 13 3/4
upper arm 12 3/4
forearm 10
chest 36 3/4
waist 30
hip 37 1/2
thigh 24
calf 14
so we no know my body works w this diet
its justa slow process
next week she says we'll change it, 9weeks out, o yea im not taking any supplements, just meds n vitamins, but no fat burners, be4 a comp i will tho
o yea! guess what i decided! to become a personal trainer
i figured bc i look this good now, n ive inspired so many people i minus well learn bout this. im going to an orientation friday @a massage therapy school also. o yea i might do it thru ISSA.


Posted by: chiquita6683

September 11th TYPHOON BAY- Level IVA, Qualifer for Team Universe,
drug-tested, Gaither High School Auditorium, Tampa, Fl


September 18th FLORIDA State - Level IV, National Qualifier, Palm
Beach County Convention Center, West Palm Beach, Fl




Posted by: gwcaton

Way to go Maria !


Posted by: Monolith

Wow, i was wondering where this journal went again. Nice work. You look awesome in those pics.


Posted by: chiquita6683

i think im going to be a personal trainer.............n maybe a nutritionist, nooo its 2early to say that. thats alota info 4me


Posted by: atherjen

looking awesome in your pics woman!! I am impressed! you should do very well in your comps! Best of luck to you!


Posted by: chiquita6683

thanx everyone!
geez! cutting takes so long to notice results! but this is my first time cutting, i probly just impatient.....but maybe this diets not working, idk


Posted by: gwcaton

Quote:
Originally posted by chiquita6683
hey, i finally posted in my gallery now if i could figure out how to do my avatar?
Good morning Maria,

Do you have something picked out to use as an avatar ? I am sure someone here would be glad to help you .


Posted by: chiquita6683

Maria,
You are doing AWESOME! I'm very proud of your commitment and determination. You are following your training and diet better than expected. Here are the changes for your nutrition. We will be taking your stats at the beginning of next week. We are almost there.........And you told me you couldn't do this on your own. Yeah Right.

Love Lots,
Kris


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meal 1:
6 egg whites
Meal 1:
6 egg whites

7 1/2 cup oatmeal (measure dry)
1/2 cup oatmeal (measure dry)

8
9 Meal 2:
5 oz Lean Meat
Meal 2:
5 oz Lean Meat

10 1 cup Brown Rice
1/2 cup Brown Rice

11 1 tblspn olive oil
1 tblspn olive oil

12
13 Meal 3:
5 oz Lean Meat
Meal 3:
5 oz Lean Meat

14 5 oz Swt Potatoe
3 oz Swt Potatoe

15 1 tblspn olive oil
1 tblspn olive oil

16
17 Meal 4:
5 oz Lean Meat
Meal 4:
5 oz Lean Meat

18 1 cup Brown Rice
1 cup Brocc.

19 1 tblspn olive oil
1 tblspn olive oil

20
21 Meal 5:
5 oz chicken breast
Meal 5:
5 oz chicken breast

22 5 oz Swt Potatoe
3 oz Swt Potatoe

23 1 tblspn olive oil
1 tblspn olive oil

24
25 Meal 6:
6 egg whites/1 yolk
Meal 6:
6 egg whites/1 yolk

26
27 Cardio = elliptical 45 min (3 on/1 off)

28



Posted by: chiquita6683

i just posted day 1, i didnt no there was day 2,3 ill post it lata


Posted by: chiquita6683

4 DAY 1
DAY 2 & 3

5
6 Meal 1:
6 egg whites
Meal 1:
6 egg whites

7 1/2 cup oatmeal (measure dry)
1/2 cup oatmeal (measure dry)

8
9 Meal 2:
5 oz Lean Meat
Meal 2:
5 oz Lean Meat

10 1 cup Brown Rice
1/2 cup Brown Rice

11 1 tblspn olive oil
1 tblspn olive oil

12
13 Meal 3:
5 oz Lean Meat
Meal 3:
5 oz Lean Meat

14 5 oz Swt Potatoe
3 oz Swt Potatoe

15 1 tblspn olive oil
1 tblspn olive oil

16
17 Meal 4:
5 oz Lean Meat
Meal 4:
5 oz Lean Meat

18 1 cup Brown Rice
1 cup Brocc.

19 1 tblspn olive oil
1 tblspn olive oil

20
21 Meal 5:
5 oz chicken breast
Meal 5:
5 oz chicken breast

22 5 oz Swt Potatoe
3 oz Swt Potatoe

23 1 tblspn olive oil
1 tblspn olive oil

24
25 Meal 6:
6 egg whites/1 yolk
Meal 6:
6 egg whites/1 yolk

today is my very first low carb day, this isnt easy! specially when my brothers bringing home gourmet meals, uhh i miss him cooking 4me!
woops! yea its kinda funny when i fart, ill be in the middle of sayin somethin to some1, i letit go n it will be a silent 1 which r the worst n so ill grab their arm and walk away, "i think we oughta come over here bc......"


Posted by: chiquita6683

uuuhhhhhhhh! idk how u people do this over n over [i say that now,] i am so exhausted and im starving!

ooh ooh! guess what?! i was able to see a line in my the side booty im so xcited! ive never had that be4! yay!


Posted by: atherjen

Way to go girl!!
diet looks great! well planned!!
fill up on lots of veggies to help keep the hunger down!


Posted by: gwcaton

Good job Maria !


Posted by: chiquita6683

hehe gee thanx guys!
so yea good thing i dont havea real job YET........i ate n trained this morning and ate n took my meds bouta 11. n made that last post ect. omg i actually tooka nap! i just woke up @230
AND my meds r sposta keep me awake!. i take adderall and 1/2 a provigil in the morning(not the only meds) ...........so Adderalls for my attention and Provigils for alertness. and i take just those meds again@noon meal.
wow this is alot to concentrate on, AND i gotta cook/clean later ect. im sposeta have the eggwhites/egg be4 i go2bed........i have forgotten a couple of nites. 1time i putem in the micro for 2:00 mins n i usually cookem for another minute after i stirem, well i left during the 2mins and started doin somethingelse. the next morning they were still in there raw
yea i think i can become a personal trainer, im looking in2it, any association suggestions? altho im not sure i could do that, i have a hard time keeping count during MY workouts. but then again i just may be really good at it. like i hate people that talk to me during a workout it makes me loose count. (i train @a women's gym) i see the trainers n clients haveing regular conversations, like the workout is nothing. i like it tho, its small and i know the machines well NOW. maybe i oughta train people @ 1a those huge places that way i could be serious/concentrate w the clients idk? thats along way off from now


Posted by: chiquita6683

YAY!!!! someone told me how but i actually DID! its the really
small things that count!

something happened, i mean something really positive! n whoa its
like all i needed=D

one of my best friends told me after my first accident, she felt
like her best friend died. i had NO personality at all. i couldnt
make facial expressions or anything, my voice was a whisper n very
monotoned. damn those fukers that hit me!!!!

now, holy shit! im really crazy like loud n obnoxios! lol a cocky
lil shit! yea im like 1a those cute/weird dorks, i guess. my
personality is showing! yea yea yea, i Cuss like all the time! lol i
say yea yea yea alot2

u no what, i need to get off the damn computer so much! dont get
me wrong im like really popular on here n all love all of my yahoo
buddies that chat w me! but i am like hot as fuck! k holy shit its
just now hitting me that I NEED TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! but shit u
cant do that when u cant drive!

jeezus! i am soo slow! it takes me forever to do shit! but i mean
at least i figurd how 2 make the group! yea cause i had nothing
better 2 do n maybe it helped me cognitively, so yay 4me!



Posted by: chiquita6683

now if i could figure this damn thing out!


Posted by: myCATpowerlifts

how old are you?


Posted by: myCATpowerlifts

nvm i read it, 20 yr old


Posted by: chiquita6683

This is a part of growing up, my group I mean.
The group doesn't make me look as good as a person. But during
this time in my life, I do not get to spend much time with the good
friends I do have. I have many people that love me in my life, and I
am very thankful for them.
So I'm very sorry but I will not make as many posts as often as I
have. I think I am a very determined person. So when I came up with
this goal, there is no stopping me!
I had an experience this weekend that told me I shouldn't try so
hard, take a few steps back. I think that is right, and I am very
glad because of it.
I'm also very impatient. I want (almost) everything right then. I
think many (mature) people that have joined the group do realize
this.
Thank you for all your support, I hope this group keeps increasing.
So I will make posts before and after CompetitionS that I do in the
future. If I give inspiration to others then that is wonderful but
that is not my motivation of working out.



Posted by: gwcaton

Hi Maria !

Not sure what your last post is all about but you are an inspiration so please do come back as often as you can.


Posted by: Monolith

Quote:
Originally posted by chiquita6683
This is a part of growing up, my group I mean.
The group doesn't make me look as good as a person. But during
this time in my life, I do not get to spend much time with the good
friends I do have. I have many people that love me in my life, and I
am very thankful for them.
So I'm very sorry but I will not make as many posts as often as I
have. I think I am a very determined person. So when I came up with
this goal, there is no stopping me!
I had an experience this weekend that told me I shouldn't try so
hard, take a few steps back. I think that is right, and I am very
glad because of it.
I'm also very impatient. I want (almost) everything right then. I
think many (mature) people that have joined the group do realize
this.
Thank you for all your support, I hope this group keeps increasing.
So I will make posts before and after CompetitionS that I do in the
future. If I give inspiration to others then that is wonderful but
that is not my motivation of working out.
Sorry to hear you won't be posting as much... but glad to hear you're still gonna compete. Make sure you at least stop by and give us some pics of your trophy.


Posted by: chiquita6683

Yes, of course I'll still be around! just not gonna be so personal thats all! i decided to just take it easy n train and not follow such a rigid diet/lifestyle. i need 2 have fun! u better beleive i'm gonna post pics when i get trophie(s)!


Posted by: atherjen

Great attitude girl! Do what you feel is best for YOU!!! thats all that matters.


Posted by: chiquita6683

thanx jen! luv ur monkey! how do i getta avatar?


Posted by: chiquita6683

ooh ooh!
2day, i trained w a BOYtrainer! omg, hehe!
and wow he is totally hot! like i wanna datehim, he was like soo checking me out n drooling! it was back/abs day! n i have sucha awesome back. i usta be a swimmer, so its all thick n cutup
i train w kris on tuesday again so we still checkin on eachother. but she is @Corey Everson's Fitness for Women. i had no confidence, i was fat and could barely talk when i came to her......she taught me like HOW to work out. omg i love her! now i can go in2 any gym and be able to train! i didit when i went to orlando! yay! now i just need direction.
IM REALLY DOING THIS!!! im inshape and beautiful, i look like one of the people in the magazines! i thought i could NEVER do this, but now........i know i havent competed yet, but i look like a competitor!
ok i have an avatar picked out!


Posted by: atherjen

Congrads


Posted by: Monolith

Sounds awesome... how long till your comp?


Posted by: chiquita6683


why is this soo hard for me???
I honestly donot think i can ever do this! im trying the impossible. my sister is so worried, she thinks i am too stringent.....my doctor thinks im hypoglycemic whatever that means, all my moms side had diabetes. they were all fat tho, she could have controlled it better.
i just havent been myself these last few weeks!. meds were changed. blood tests and eeg were ordered again. i need to start accutane again but i got too much goin on. im getting my wisdom teeth taken out tomorrow. so i cant train 4a week.WHY AM I DOING THIS?!!! omg im really putting 2much pressure on myself, i need to live life and make it more balanced. its been all bodybuilding
i dont think i can do it!


Posted by: Monolith

Seems like you flip flop every post... from really optimistic to completely pessimistic.

Just stay consistent, keep workin at it, dont let the small stuff get you down... you'll get there. You already look really good!


Posted by: chiquita6683

yea so im sorry im so moody in my posts, i guess i just post when i feel really good or really bad. so i havent been in the gym since last thursday, i eaten soo bad too.
i got my wisdom teeth out last friday so that can be my excuse for being so fat right? hahaha
i cant wait to get back in the gym


Posted by: Monolith

Dont let the little hiccups get ya down... just keep your goal in the back of your mind, and you'll get there.


Posted by: gwcaton

Quote:
Originally posted by chiquita6683
ooh ooh!
2day, i trained w a BOYtrainer! omg, hehe!
and wow he is totally hot! like i wanna datehim, he was like soo checking me out n drooling! it was back/abs day! n i have sucha awesome back. i usta be a swimmer, so its all thick n cutup
i train w kris on tuesday again so we still checkin on eachother. but she is @Corey Everson's Fitness for Women. i had no confidence, i was fat and could barely talk when i came to her......she taught me like HOW to work out. omg i love her! now i can go in2 any gym and be able to train! i didit when i went to orlando! yay! now i just need direction.
IM REALLY DOING THIS!!! im inshape and beautiful, i look like one of the people in the magazines! i thought i could NEVER do this, but now........i know i havent competed yet, but i look like a competitor!
ok i have an avatar picked out!

Maria !!!!!! Checking out the trainer !!!! Hmmmmm

You're doing great ! What have you picked for your avatar ?


Posted by: gwcaton

Quote:
Originally posted by chiquita6683
yea so im sorry im so moody in my posts, i guess i just post when i feel really good or really bad. so i havent been in the gym since last thursday, i eaten soo bad too.
i got my wisdom teeth out last friday so that can be my excuse for being so fat right? hahaha
i cant wait to get back in the gym

Hey,

You can/will make it . Look how far you have come already !

Go Maria !!!!!!!!!! Yeah baby !


Posted by: Stacey

Hello!! How old are you if you don't mind me asking???


Posted by: chiquita6683

i am only twenty yrs old! 2-0!!!
my trainer says she wishes she started @my age, but shes only 26. think of what ill look like when im her age!
My GOALS are:
To Compete as a Bodybuilder
Live INDEPENTLY, on my own, no man, no CARETAKER
be a personal trainer,
and Im sure I have others, just cant think of em now

i WILL accomplish all of this! i have my whole life ahead of me!
u no before i began training back in november, i wasnt very confident that i could do any of that, i didnt even think/dream of goals............i thought i was really stupid, i even wished i had died in the 1st accident.
now i DO realize that i am a beautiful woman and i have alot to offer this world (and even a man?)


Posted by: Stacey

WoW You have a lot of Confidence!!!


Posted by: chiquita6683

hell yea, ima cocky lil shit now!
u guys just dont no the lack of confidence and depressions ive been thru! when i was fat and my speech! omg my speech was so different! i talked sooooooooo slooooooooooooooooooooww, u couldnt understand me! it would take me so long to get a thought out, then they couldnt hear me bc my voice was so low! it was like a whisper, and very monotoned.
u no how people act in front of/to a really disabled person? they think their stupid and talk loud n stuff, how do u think this made me feel?
i was loud in hs, the swim season was be4 the accident, my senior yr, i used to be a leader on the team, lead team cheers, get the team all pumped be4 meets. so this was quite a different life 4me
now im very different, new n improved!


Posted by: atherjen

WOW!! sounds like you have come a long ways!!! way to go girl!!!
great attitude and I love the way you lay out your goals! with that youll reach them and beyond for sure!!!!


Posted by: chiquita6683

thank you Jen! everyone is always so supportive!
ha baby I have come soooo far! i am just now realizing this i think, thats y im so damn cocky. it really is such a great feeling, this change, and positive!
i think fitness has brought this feeling out of me (again?) um i have plenty more to say about everything but ima takea break for awhile.
yea notice how im just now making this like a real journal, bc im improving MORE.....and i made comments in (almost)everyone elses journals? sooooooo yea i unsubscribed to them again bc i dont like my mailbox full of every1s posts and my attention really doesnt last that long, so dont expect very long posts or anything


Posted by: chiquita6683

Subject: [Chiquitas_Comeback] $12 of Arby's, just filling u in, again maybe?

*sigh* ok ok, so i'm not dieting anymore
over a week ago, my body started to cut up, and i saw how little i
was, i told A trainer "F____ Figure, I wanna show this off, have a
routine!" itll feel like more of a Comeback then.
I don't know what all I've written in all the other posts, and I
dont have the attention to read all of them.....The last few weeks I
havent been myself, I was taking my medicine the wrong way.
Anyways, I just had a bunch of tests run on me so I'm waiting on
the results, my Doctor straightened me out on my meds, and I'm
growing up....Again.
I was going to say something else but forgot

so i didnt post this there, but this is spose 2 be a journal right? anyway, i said i was taking the wrong meds/no the wrong way, rite meds. omg i made such a fool of myself! k ill post that later, remind me if i dont.
so like i dont have many friends (yet) so im just gonna tellya ill probly write things that r no1s bizness, but its not like i have 20 girlfriends to xpress my feelings to. ive never kept a journal either, im really glad i did it.
Hardasnails told me about Ironmag along time ago. i wasnt as far along cognitively as i am today. i looked at it breifly, n didnt really understand all of it, i was like yea ok thats nice, another site about BB. he told me to make a journal afew times 2, i wasnt bout to make a journal! i assumed every1 on here had competed before, and all smart n stuff, and all of you really are truely intelligent. but bodybuilders really intimidated me.
when i came up with this goal along time ago. i really had NO confidence, i couldnt see me losing over 50lbs or being able to go in front of a crowd, that still scares me a little bit.
ive begun to realize that Bbs are like every1else just w a different kind of drive! (i wish i could say that more eloquently but it wont come out)
so anyways my attentions spent 4now. but thank you HAN!
it was you and my trainer Kris that have helped me in a way, i cannot express enough grattitude
so im gonna end this ina sec but ill say that yahoo is the easiest thing on the internet to figure out, i made the group when i began training, i have more photos on there.........it was hard 4 me to figure out how on here. and i still havent figured everything out, the avatar!


Posted by: chiquita6683

omg! it just said that i had 2many images in my post so i pressed back and it was gone!!!!! it was sooo long! i had been working on it all afternoon! damit! gawd i always get screwed when im trying my hardest!
it was so good! it was telling u about my other goals in life, and all the driving therapy that ive been thru and why. omg!


Posted by: chiquita6683

yea yea yea, another time!


Posted by: gwcaton

Hi Maria !

Calm down , it will be alright. Next time just make it in two parts or something .

Have a great weekend cutie !


Posted by: Monolith

lol, its done that to me too.

ive just started highlighting my posts and copying them to the clipboard before i hit submit, that way if it doesnt post, i can just click paste and my post is right there again.


Posted by: chiquita6683

Subject: that bitch! She uses the Juice!


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You know how awhile ago I posted something about Gina Davis's yahoo
group? Well I found out that she is NOT natural! I thought she was.
I just can't stand people who get on here and say that they're
totally Natural when they're not. I totally hate that!
Don't get me wrong, it is a person's personal desicion to use
steroids. But I just don't beleive that God would want us to put
anything UNnatural in our bodies.
So after coming through what I have been through, and seeing the
other patients conditions and hearing their stories, I really want
to come back and be the best that I can be, personally. I don't care
about winning or any of the Bodybuilding Politics.
........Now I do think that it is so "kick ass":P when a Natural
person can beat a person on juice. Just shows you how blessed the
natural person with good genetics!



posted this in my group, we'll see if she responds, if she does it really shows how insecure she is! i posted in my group and hers that i was excited that she had a group too, i spoke to her one day along time ago on yahoo pm, and she swore she was natural!
i dont care! im confident...now. i heard that shes really insecure and bitchy2.


Posted by: chiquita6683

i pasted that post as a new thread in training 2
im able to reply to other posts now 2! yay! im so prouda myself. i made like a really long reply in greekys journal and i even figured out how to change colors!!! yay, go me! woohoo!
ok so i relize that u all think that ima doof 4 being so prouda this, but like EVERY little thing is soo hard 4me, now! it takes me so looong time to do everything, im like so more focused [than a regular person](on this goal) bc i have to be!
but is any1 realizing this? i notice all the little things of everyday life, bc its that much harder! its called TBI traumatic brain injury, well i have 2 of them! i feel really bad, i used2get depressed- everytime i do something stupid, like forget something. im so paranoid! like when something needed my signature, id tell whoever that it was gonna be awhile bc i write really slow
u know what.............*opening my heart here, really personal*......the 1st accident happened over Xmas break, my senior yr of hs. 12-28-00 i was in a coma till febuary 12th, i could barely speak, i had forgotten EVERYTHING! i had to wear diapers 4awhile when they took the catheter out. :blush: i had broken my pelvis in 2 places in the accident, so i had to learn how to walk by hopping on 1 leg in PT 4along time till it healed and i could put pressure on it. my PT would get mad at me when i put my other foot down real quick, for balance, my equilibriums screwed..... you see why im like omg, this is so hard! ................about everything, and none of u knew any of this! or do u understand anything. u people[and the general public] just ASSume everything is ok, ima normal chick just like every1else.
ok wait i have more to say be4 i jump to another point, (im so bad bout that!).............after i came outa the coma i had to learn 2 eat again also, i had a feeding tube, then i was fed puree food, but u no what, i ate every single bit of it! i wished i could've licked it some days! then they taught me how to use a spoon when i could situp real strong like. lol i think i did lick it then!
and my SPEECH! regular talking, that has come from 'an acorn to an entire forest!'.................. but*sigh* itll never be the way it was swim season is @the begining of the school year so it had just ended, and boy did i make some memories!!! i guess i really shoulda been captain, but it was the coaches first year[new], and the senior that had the best grades got capt. but i was the 1 that got the team fired up be4 swim meets baby! hell yea, i had the loudest voice! i led most of the team cheers, n the 1s i didnt u could hear me over everyone. the freshman really looked up2me. n so @districts i got my relay team really fired up for the 4x100yd freestyle relay, i had so much addrenallin in me. i broke a minute in the 100 free, for the 1st time! n thats really not that good or anything, but 4me personally! [we went to state n i made other memories there.] thats y i like bodybuilding so much.(have more to say about bb point) so after my accident it was like a whisper, it took soo much effort to even say a word and it was slooooow and monotoned.
k so i luv my speech therapist and shes coming to my 1st competition along with a ton more people. hehehe i really hope i dont mess up! i hope i can remember a routine, i havent tried it yet


um ima see if itll let me post this right now, ive been working on this all afternoon, started round 1ish and its almost 5 now. i did it in word pad, i membered this time! woohoo yaya me!




but i think i realize that i need to get over it and know that its ok! "normal" people do this, that havent been thru anything, all the time! right? every1s not a genuis! and im pretty smart, damnit! <<<<thats some point that i was gonna elaborate on but i wanted to elaborate on what i was talkin bout 1st so i entered it downafew times


Posted by: chiquita6683

so i missed the whole 2nd semester and missed all the "senior moments" like prom, senior trip ect ect i was
but i did walk in graduation! i even gotta standing ovation
so i miss the 2nd 1/2 of the semester........"when i came outa the coma" (gawd i feel like i say that alot! but thats ok, bc i havent been able to tell any1. bc when i talk its slow in the first place, n i forget what im talkin bout in the middle of a sentence, but i can write it out, kinda, i feel like soo much better now! im becoming a NEW WOMAN, like the old me, outgoing n stuff, i used to never ever talk, now u cant shut me up!)...........anyway, so i missed the whole 2nd semester and missed all the "senior moments" like prom, senior trip ect ect i was
but i did walk in graduation! i even gotta standing ovation
so i miss the 2nd 1/2 of the semester........"when i came outa the coma" (gawd i feel like i say that alot! but thats ok, bc i havent been able to tell any1. bc when i talk its slow in the first place, n i forget what im talkin bout in the middle of a sentence, but i can write it out, kinda, i feel like soo much better now! im becoming a NEW WOMAN, like the old me, outgoing n stuff, i used to never ever talk, now u cant shut me up!)...........anyway back 2 what I was sayin “when I came outa the coma” lol……I had forgotten Everthing right? Well I had school in the hospital, a hospital/homebound program. And Mrs.Culpepper, tested me and my math was @2nd gd level and I don’t member what reading was at, like 4th or 5th! Sooo we got busy I had work to do! Everyday I would get up, my occupational therapist would come to my room, and she would teach me how to get ready! She made a checklist, go2bathroom, brush hair,(front of it was shaved, I had contusions or something, they did 2releive pressure in my brain) put on shorts, put on bra, t-shirt, brush teeth, ect. get back in wheelchair, remember my pelvis was broken 2) eat, go 2therapy then bout 10 or 11 have class, and she reviewed all the grade levels with me. I even had to study my Xs tables again! I remember, studying them with my bf. Yes I stayed with him. Ill copy my reply in stacey’s journal here.


Posted by: chiquita6683

getchu some! Post #621

hahaha! glad the trying has been goin on, im sure ur having loads of fun!
least some1s gettin some! im sure as hell not!
i never get any
my last real boyfriend was the 1 that got me in the first accident. and he DUMPED ME! we only dated 2months be4 the accident, we said we loved eachother i was young n dumb(17) so after i woke up from the coma i heard what happened n i was like "if we can make it thru this, we can make it thru anything! well be 2gether 4ever" ha! well he stayed w me thru some ruf times for 8 more months. i guess he felt bad, bought me 8 sundresses(that didnt fit) and 5 bottles of perfume for my 18th birthday, + all this other stuff. now "im growin up alil bit!" haha, mmmmm if he saw me NOW



yea i cant remember how to do that lil quote thing but im replying back to her reply, i think i asked her if she was pregnant. sorry it takes me along time


____________________________


Posted by: gwcaton

Wow !
there's no stopping you now !!!!!!
yu are amazing !


Posted by: chiquita6683

*attention single studs* i havent had a boyfriend since this loser!


Posted by: chiquita6683

thanx gary,
it feels really good to get all this off my chest to some1, ina way

im acting so cocky tonite! w my yahoo friends anyway, n im never gonna meet 1/2 those fools anyway so its like i can act kinda “to the extreme” in the chat room n stuff. its kina funny........the internet has played a huge part in my recovery! *(wow that’s surprising)* but its so true, like i never get ANY phone calls, from any1 besides like family, or cab driver(s)
so I go in a chat room, and talk. I told u it takes me extra effort to do everything, even talking, so I got on the mic and would like blab on about nothing all day sometimes. And yes I know that people are SO MEAN! They said all kinds of things 2 me, when id get on mic and be in the middle of a sentence and forget what I was talking about, they’d say I sounded like a retard n mean stuff like that. Which I know I did/do! But you know what? .............. I just learned to not care, and tell them to click the mute button or change rooms.

And along with my speech comes my thinking process as well. I mean like that’s y I cant drive…………YET at least. Like when I go to turn a corner, I’m like ok turn my blinker on, think push up or down, am I close enough to start turning the wheel(my depth perception is far from perfect, Now)

Yes ok its about 10pm, n my attentions spent n I think im starting to get headaches again. But I think ive been clenching my teeth sometimes. I used to get migranes I think. Ive had this headache all day Anyways I did take some hydroshit that worked really good be4. and ill take my nite meds. That help me go 2 sleep so itll probly be gone tomorrow, ooh guess what me n my sister n probly her bf are going to a blues fest @the beach tomorrow! Whoa like im getting off the computer!




Yea ima start posting stuff bout my diet im gonna try to stick to a clean bulk, lol clean! WHATEVER!




Posted by: gwcaton

I like your cockyness ! Have fun at the beach !


Posted by: gwcaton

Good Morning Maria !!!!


Posted by: chiquita6683

morning! waiting to hear from my sister still..........damn i wish i drove.....n had friends! and i needa new bikini, my other 1s from last year like fall off me, yea cause i usta be a fatass! but that just means i get to go Shopping! yay omg i feel soo good!


but im soooo fat! i havent been to the gym in over a week i wanted to do at least some cardio but idk better not risk it. i still have stitches from my wisdom teeth but im not getting em out till monday @10 i hope i can get to the gym that afternoon!
yea u know how everybody else, like whines n shit when they get their teeth out, my sister was having milshakes for liike 2 weeks! ha yea i had my days/meals where i was bad......like i had a few milkshakes n pizza but then i also had my protein 2! n i cooked n stuff! ive been eating like cottage chz alot, n made protein pancales, n my dad was grilling out 1nite so i had my bro cook my chicken and steak, and i cut it up real small, but i ate it! but then like my mouth would be sore later so id probly eat somethin bad
but then i have my moods where im like'yea im notta pussy, i can have protein' n id be like real good, then id pay 4it later n be bad. so i wonder what ill be like when i have those damn wholes in my gums! and im soo outa shape! i feel like sucha fat bum!
but ina way it was probly good i tooka week off, bc like look at all im writing, and tellin u my feelins! i should tell my neurophycologist to just read this if we ever have another sesion! haha! yea, remember that post from my group, "this has been a part of growing up"? well thats bd i wrote some things in my group that i kinda am embarased about now. but this is my journal! ive never kept a journal either so like this is really great!

ok so that was my sis, n we can go getta cheap suit for today or i can wear 1a hers, but she says it windy, so we can just chill and get lunch or somethin + i gotta save my $ cause shes gonna take on like a special shopping trip cause i dont have any clothes that fit anymore, AND i need to buy some cute stuff for my trip to Mellorca!
omg im like so xcited , kinda, ill get more xcited when my aunt gets here. ive hardly been outa the state! and thats like over in Europe, n spossta be some big resort island thats crazy and theresa nude beach n all! omg! yea my aunt just retired in febuary, and thats where our hereitage is from, im not loaded or anything!


Posted by: chiquita6683

omg relax gar!
ur AMERICAN and ur not cometeing! i personally dont know y ur doing this, at least I wouldnt/couldnt do it...........if none of what happened to me did, but thats you, and do whatever makes u happy hun
but baby when i say im bad im BAD! like real bad. but im bulking so like whatever. however your cutting but its like ur like 'omg! what did i just do?' and u feel SO bad, and ur really hard on urself. dont worry hun when i was cutting for those 8-12 weeks or whatever......im the same way! i never ate anything off my diet!
relax hun, when u get off ur diet, just look at urself and read this journal from when u write things when u feel really good, like that post when u were pumped and u saw vains, n then ate somethin bad, n i told u to relax!
ill tell u what i told greek...........YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL PERSON, inside and out! and thats all thats important. working out and dieting isnt!

this is a reply in garys journal..........just more about me growing up!


Posted by: gwcaton

Quote:
Originally posted by chiquita6683
morning! waiting to hear from my sister still..........damn i wish i drove.....n had friends! and i needa new bikini, my other 1s from last year like fall off me, yea cause i usta be a fatass! but that just means i get to go Shopping! yay omg i feel soo good!


but im soooo fat! i havent been to the gym in over a week i wanted to do at least some cardio but idk better not risk it. i still have stitches from my wisdom teeth but im not getting em out till monday @10 i hope i can get to the gym that afternoon!
yea u know how everybody else, like whines n shit when they get their teeth out, my sister was having milshakes for liike 2 weeks! ha yea i had my days/meals where i was bad......like i had a few milkshakes n pizza but then i also had my protein 2! n i cooked n stuff! ive been eating like cottage chz alot, n made protein pancales, n my dad was grilling out 1nite so i had my bro cook my chicken and steak, and i cut it up real small, but i ate it! but then like my mouth would be sore later so id probly eat somethin bad
but then i have my moods where im like'yea im notta pussy, i can have protein' n id be like real good, then id pay 4it later n be bad. so i wonder what ill be like when i have those damn wholes in my gums! and im soo outa shape! i feel like sucha fat bum!
but ina way it was probly good i tooka week off, bc like look at all im writing, and tellin u my feelins! i should tell my neurophycologist to just read this if we ever have another sesion! haha! yea, remember that post from my group, "this has been a part of growing up"? well thats bd i wrote some things in my group that i kinda am embarased about now. but this is my journal! ive never kept a journal either so like this is really great!

ok so that was my sis, n we can go getta cheap suit for today or i can wear 1a hers, but she says it windy, so we can just chill and get lunch or somethin + i gotta save my $ cause shes gonna take on like a special shopping trip cause i dont have any clothes that fit anymore, AND i need to buy some cute stuff for my trip to Mellorca!
omg im like so xcited , kinda, ill get more xcited when my aunt gets here. ive hardly been outa the state! and thats like over in Europe, n spossta be some big resort island thats crazy and theresa nude beach n all! omg! yea my aunt just retired in febuary, and thats where our hereitage is from, im not loaded or anything!
OMG !!!!! Sounds like fun. Oh and we need new pics if you are getting a new 'kini.


Posted by: chiquita6683

hahaha!!!!! ok ill postem! ill try to get some done, maybe my aunt can take some, idk? the trips in may, after easter i think. baby after loosing all the weight that i gained from the surgery/steriod, im like soo cocky and when i go shopping im gonna be so cute!!!!
o and guess what i need glasses! but im not blind so im WAITING to get hooked up w a reg eye dr. (exam was done at vision works w a contract dr) but im xcited bc im gonna get those cute frames! u know the lil 1/2 glasses! itll go w my short hair! yay! im gonna be like 1a those cute girls w short hair and "different" glasses! ah! and i look buff n fit! and im gonna continue to just train, so like ill compete in a bb comp ina few years. or maybe be4 then cause idk how big i can get naturally. like my trainer is 151/2 i think but she says she wants to do fitness ina few yrs and doesnt like being so big n stuff, but she'd kick butt in fitness bc she used to be a dancer, so i dont how do u get smaller? lotsa cardio? she hates cardio! idk............im still learning everything! but when i do learn it, like ill forget it, so its really good that im keeping a journal for that reason! yay!!!!


Posted by: chiquita6683

*sigh* i just got back from the beach had a really good time, have stuff to tell u but........ im really hungry 2, all the chikn i cooked is all gone all i got left is wheat pasta and lil bitta broccili. so i just ate the wheat pasta[thats like stuch together] w some salad dressing, but im really unsure this dressing being like good. cause i member that han dude telling me, that all diet food is bad, and real whole food is good. n i hate whey and MRPs, the way they taste, so yea im dedicated, like 'a freaky bb' i cook my food, even though it takes me along time to eat it, it tastes better besides i dont have a job or anything or do i drive, so i can take the time to eat it ............ k back 2the dressing, sorry im like so paranoid so i feel i have 2 xplain EVERYTHING, but yea ok dressing! anyway diet food bad/real food good right?
so there was this ranch i bought, that was wish bone and i usually buy hidden valley.....BUT there was a wish bone Diet ranch and there was a regular ranch 2, but there was this "special" ranch and the label said wish bone-Just2Good, and all it has in it was 2g fat, 5 carbs, 370sodium, (guessing there) so all that really confuses me? i just bought it, it was the last 1 (good thing bc i woulda bought 2 of em bc i Always overdo Everything......note to self* join a wholesale club*)........anywayz! yea yea yea. i was confused bc there was a diet kind a regular kind and this kind, so what should i have done? this is all a learning process, yaknow? maybe ill post this in some1 elses journal, even tho its like all personal n stuff, but i really dont care! im young/dumb/ n still learning, but i forget what i learnt
so ok im not really tired anymore after typing all that, i think ill make a few more posts! yay!


Posted by: chiquita6683

hey can u tell me how to do that quote thingee? be4 a reply u no? <<<<the real question, coulda asked ina pm
yea i no that ur just about the only reading my journal now, besides like monolith and do u know what happened to katie64? she usta reply like all the time? hope nothin bad she wanted 2meet me one time
i no like everyone unsubscribed n stuff to my journal bc i post so much, sicka their mailbox bein full .........well thats what I think.


Posted by: chiquita6683

so ya know, how i used to be all intimidated by this bc every1 posts their diet/workouts and i said i can't,...............well i will! start, i hope, after reading every1elses journals n stuff, n i realize that its just regular people helpin eachother out....then i made a journal, but only posted when i felt really good or really bad....now ive like told/tell you EVERYTHING like really personal n all.....bc this is a journal, and the only people that read it are u know who and maybe ill print it out 4 my future husband to read, or my trainer bc i talk about her so much. n like yea im really annoying bc i have to xplain everything bc im so parnoid! n bleh

but yay! my memory is improving! but like i did another stupid thing today, that maybe bc i have a brain injury, but its really its okay bc its my sister, my only friend. eww bleh bad day


Posted by: chiquita6683

yea so like i relize that i post alot, specially now! "im becoming a woman.............................Again" idk something gave me a positive feeling, which i dont think ill post in here, but i have nothin else to do n this feels really good to say all this kinda getit off my chest finally! cause i dont have any friends really sides my sister n my trainer, but shes really really busy + she just gotta promotion n like bbs r normal people just like every1else, no better no worse (shesa bb)

*note to self- after i learn/figure out how to do the quote thingee, copy/paste replys to other peoples journals........i wanna remember all this
replys: stacey's journal
greeky's "
gary's "
more in future, but maybe i'll figure it out soon

damn my mouth hurts, i brushed my teeth while i was in the shower hit the stitches........ive been brushin my teeth, eatin whole foods all week, my family n every1s impressed, said i heal fast, gotta be those damn vitamins i hate to swallow, maybe ill switch to a multivitamin, but thats not as good right? n i want the best. i hada tracheotomy thats y i think i hate 2swallow stuff, sometimes when i was taken supplements & vitamins & meds, i would have unsweetened applesauce to getem down


Posted by: chiquita6683

Subject: what Bodybuilding has done for me.......so far......4new members


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now as u all know, ive only been training since november
(consistently) but theres been many changes in me, physically,
emotionally, ect.
it has helped my recovery TREMENDOUSLY; i cant even express to u
how far ive come........ i came outa the coma, ive had to learn
EVERYTHING over again. how to walk (i had broken my pelvis in 2
places), how to talk(my speech was a whisper n very monotoned), how
to socialize[still learning some of this](people w brain damage
say/do inappropiate things at times), and so i had to relearn all of
this, the basic principles of living.....then i got to the point i
was able to train n b/c i saw all my fellow patients n i figured im
able to walk, im not paralyzed, my condition is nowhere near their
condition. [as bad as it is/was] at least i CAN workout n take good
care of myself.
then i began training, and got myself into shape, i gained self
confidence, i never had before......i can even be cocky at times, my
trainer thinks its hilarious. but damnit I DESERVE to be! (cocky)
unlike all other "Normal" bodybuilders. this goal intimidated me
before, i was like "yea right, i can never do that/look like that."
but my body is changeing, slowly but surely, n i feel like i CAN
do anything(almost).


Posted by: chiquita6683

Subject: i wanna be muscular!


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