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Posted by: DimebagDarrell

ok, so i had dated this girl for two years, but it was long distance and by the end of the two years it was such a stupid relationship because every single talk turned into her whining about something and then i would get upset with her. so i called it off for a while so she could get her life together because her total reliance on me was destroying any life she had. well, then i call her about a month and a half later, because i miss her so much (im totally in love with her) and we get back together.

one night we go to this party, and this guy she made out with was there, and he seemed scared shitless of me. thought it was kinda odd. anyway, we then stayed together for a year, until very recently. i had asked her at least a dozen times about what happened with the guy, but her story varied from just making out to him trying to rape her, but that nothing serious happened.

wasnt until a year after i finally talked to the guy and he admitted they slept together. twice. only then does she come clean. so not only did she have sex with some other guy while we were apart so she could get her life back together, but she lied about it for a year. i just wanted to go through life having sex with one person and that person having only had sex with me (we lost our virginities to eachother). well that got ruined. anyway, i dumped her on her ass for doing that to me. but i took her back because i love her so much and i do know she loves me more than anything.

but its now eating me up inside and i dont know what to do. i dont eat much anymore, i havent been to the rec in 3 weeks (after going a constant 5 times a week), i have no motivation, im not going to my classes, not hanging out with friends. i told her that i almost felt like i had to go have sex with someone else so that i wouldnt feel as bad about everything, and she said if thats what it takes, then thats what it takes. keep in mind that shes been my only partner ever, and shes had two. that i know of, i dont trust her for shit anymore.

what do i do?

Posted by: gr81

DTB maYn, ditch that bitch.. Its great an all that you want to be with only 1 person your whole life and visa versa, but I don't know how realistic that is to expect someone to do that. Not sure how old you are but I am assuming that you are too young to be in this serious of a relationship in the first place, let alone a long distance one at that. You can't really blame someone for having an interest in someone else when all they have from you is a long distance relationship, I mean Cmon. Its time to get out there and experience some things dude, sew your wild oats and what not. Of course you love this girl more than anyother one, you have only been with one. How can you posibly know. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE thinks their first love is gonna last forever and that that one is THE ONE. This is very seldom the case. You need to get over her, go out and meet otehr chicks, don't talk to her again, and move on. It gets better with time, and remember this very important piece of advice: as hard as you want things to go back to the way they were, they NEVER will, sorry dude. When its time to move on, its time. Its not that shes a bad person, from what I understand at least, sounds like she is wanting to experience things which you should also do.. good luck

Posted by: Rauschgift

One woman? How do you know you want that one forever when you havn't tried any others? Sounds like you need to hang out with your boys and have some fun. There will be plenty of time to settle down when you get older.

Posted by: Muscle_Girl

Dood, there is no way you can find that one person to spend your life with from the start. So she slept with a guy while you guys were OFF.. you both knew you were off, and maybe she took it as a little more. The trust is obviously gone. I think its time to move on and make yourself happy again. Tell her you need to do this for yourself because you have changed so much and you now know why. I am sure she will understand, and she might be heart broken, along with you, but it has to happen. The goal in life is to make yourself happy, if your not meeting that goal, whats the point? There are plenty of girls out there looking for a muscle head just like you. Get back in the gym, get yourself fit, I know I did, and I am feeling better already

Posted by: Rauschgift

Also, get it out of your head that your going to be getting a virgin. Unless you plan on picking up on Jr. High girls.

Posted by: gr81

Quote:

Dood, there is no way you can find that one person to spend your life with from the start. So she slept with a guy while you guys were OFF.. you both knew you were off, and maybe she took it as a little more. The trust is obviously gone. I think its time to move on and make yourself happy again. Tell her you need to do this for yourself because you have changed so much and you now know why. I am sure she will understand, and she might be heart broken, along with you, but it has to happen. The goal in life is to make yourself happy, if your not meeting that goal, whats the point? There are plenty of girls out there looking for a muscle head just like you. Get back in the gym, get yourself fit, I know I did, and I am feeling better already

you should stand in front of a mirror when you say that so maybe it will bounce back for you to hear!lol

you give good advice darlin.. maybe you could help me out, see theres this girl..and...um.....

Posted by: Muscle_Girl

Lol, girl eh? Hmm.. tell her how you feel

Btw, I learned fro m the best

Posted by: animalmachine

listen to the gr81... i know it's impossible to realize this now, but it won't be long until you look back and see how silly this is (i've been there). the important thing is that you must always be in control. if this is really bugging you that much, it is time to move on, and when I say move on, cut off all ties, no friends bs, just go. trust me, it's much easier this way. i've wasted a lot of time and sanity on this shit. it's one thing if you could accept what happened and move on, but apparantly you cant... and besides that she's also proved to be a liar. i don't know about you, but as soon as i realize someone can't be trusted to tell me the truth without hesitation, they are out. it will only cause worse problems in the long run.

Posted by: gr81

Quote:

and when I say move on, cut off all ties, no friends bs, just go. trust me, it's much easier this way.

bingo! not is it only much easier but its the ONLY way you can move on and get over someone you have been in love with, trust us. We have both been there. Feelins stay around and fester, and if one person is over it and one secretly isn't then that person is in for much more pain to come. Take things for what they were and move on, thats life. Sometimes things end bro..

Posted by: gr81

Quote:

Lol, girl eh? Hmm.. tell her how you feel

Btw, I learned fro m the best

ya think I should huh..maybe I will then..

Posted by: Muscle_Girl

Go whatcha gonna tell "her"?

Posted by: gr81

wouldn't you like ta know..

Posted by: Muscle_Girl

Well maybe, just wanna make sure your tellin her right is all.

Posted by: gr81

telling her right? not sure what you mean there babycakes..

Posted by: Muscle_Girl

I just wanna go over your words.. just wanna make sure your telling this girl that you like or whatever, the right thing, the right way...

Posted by: gr81

ok, well then I could use your help! If it was you for instance, just as an example, what would you want a guy to say to you.. whats the right way? teach me obe one..lol

Posted by: Muscle_Girl

Isnt it Obi Wan? But anyway...

Hmm, well how do you feel about her, I am not sure so I can't tell ya what to say.

Posted by: gr81

I know you didn't juts correct me like that you geek!

thats dodging the question BTW, I asked your opinion. answering a Q with a Q?

Posted by: Muscle_Girl

Lol, I took a film history class.. and my teacher was uberly fussy about that kind of shyt.
Anyway, YOU ANSWERED MY QUESTION WITH A FREAKING QUESTION SO

ME!

Posted by: gr81

maybe I don't like this girl so much after all come to think of it, you see I try to be nice to her and she is pretty mean to me alot of the time. what do you thin that means?

Posted by: Muscle_Girl

I think she is just playin with ya, flirting in a sorta way. Give her time, she wil warm up to you.

Posted by: gr81

I don't know, I have been pretty nice to her, much nicer than I am usually to alot of girls, maybe thats my mistake, ya think thats it?

Posted by: Muscle_Girl

Possibly, I dunno, or maybe she is just confused at the moment having gone through a big break up not so long ago.. Ithink she just needs time to sort things out.

Posted by: Muscle_Girl

She should come around tho hun, just nervous, and things on the mind. Life's shyt right now heh.

Posted by: gr81

talk to me...

Posted by: Muscle_Girl

PM sent.

Posted by: DimebagDarrell

sorry to re-hijack my own thread, but i thought id update. i talked face to face to her tonite. i do still love her, and am going to do everything i can to stay with her. i have trust issues, but trust me, she is worth it. i know deep down she wants to fix things. she learned from her parents that the longer she lied about things, the less severe the punishment. too bad the world and i dont work that way. you may say that i have to have multiple partners to know shes the one, but i dont. i dont care so much how good the sex is if the rest of the relationship is shit. she complements me so well, ive had many girlfriends before her, but shes the first that could keep my attention more than two months. im just shy of 21 btw.

im also quite religious, so many partners is NOT something im comfortable with. i'm of the feeling that sex is ok just when youre in love, you dont have to have a damn slip of paper saying youre married. but i dont feel that the way to see if youre meant to be with someone is how good the sex is. i think the true test is to go WITHOUT sex. plus, we have great sex. and i mean great. i have noone else to compare it to, but i really couldnt ask for more. she has had something to compare it to, and says it wasnt anything close to me. the guy was half as big as me and lasted only a minute anyway (ive heard this from other girls too, so its not her trying to make me happy), and he lacked all "motion of the ocean." heh, i had to know, cause im conscious of how i stack up.

so you may say i need more, but i dont. noone pleasures me intellectually like she does. noone pleasures me sexually like she does (best BJs, hands down. knows how to treat it right. that i DO have a lot to compare to btw). i just gotta work through it. shes back home for the summer because she has an internship, im here cause im taking summer classes. being apart is when i worry, but when shes here, all worries go away. ill make it through. now its time to get back to the gym.

dime-o

Posted by: gr81

good luck bro..

Posted by: DimebagDarrell

hehe thanks gr81. my certificate of stubbornness --->

Posted by: gr81

hey, we all feel that way with our first love, trust me. thats why I can sit here and tell you the things I am telling you, cuz I been there homie..Its so hard to look at teh situation objectively or even from the other persons view. There is a reason they say love is blinding, there is also a reason they say love hurts. I guess we all haev to go through it for ourselves thou huh..

Posted by: DimebagDarrell

yeah, if it works out though its all the better. im pretty picky about women so theres noone else id like to date anyway. this is better than nothing, and im preying itll be worth it in the long run. i know this sounds stupid if youre not religious, but i believe jesus was the best forgiver to walk the earth. the least i can try to do is try to do the same.

Posted by: Muscle_Girl

^^

Afraid to be alone...

Posted by: DimebagDarrell

yes, yes i am. but more afraid that there wont be anyone that's even close to what she is.

its like im driving a porsche that threw a rod, but rather than buy a ford escort to replace it, id like to fix the porsche

Posted by: Muscle_Girl

Well, all I can say is long-distances never work, never!
And also, you don't know til you try right?

Posted by: DimebagDarrell

well, were with eachother now, except not for the summer. and we proved we could do long distance, just that little incident sucks

Posted by: Muscle_Girl

Lol, who are you kidding, it did not work because of that incident, don't try to fool me or yourself. Don't have to prove nothin to me dood, its yourself that needs to look at the big picture. Maybe there are girls out there for ya but your so wraped up in her they are afraid to approach you. Plus, no one says you NEED to be with anyone. I think ya need a break of somesort to get your ass back to the gym. The gym is always good for you.

Posted by: gr81

Posted by: DimebagDarrell

heh, im gonna do what i can. well see how things pan out. im just not about going around and taking on multiple partners, i dont want to end up with her and have done something like such myself

Posted by: Muscle_Girl

Dude, your exactly like me. I was with a guy for almost 3 years until 2 weeks ago, I felt exactly like you. I didn't wanna go around with many people, and still don't. But I know now that it just wont work, We have had so many horrible break ups before, "breaks" and "get your act together" type of stuff. You cannot expect anyone to be the one, but I can guarrentee when she is there infront of you, you will definately know it. If you dont trust her you never will. I waited for 3 years to trust my guy and it never came, never! A relationship will not work if there is no trust, and you cannot put yourself in a hole because of anything going on, fights and such, you cannot let that bug you because your only hurting yourself, take the gym for an example. I have had a gym membership for 4 months, know how many times I have attended, 3 times.. THATS IT! and why, because of him, because of how depressed I became. I understand you must find out for yourself, but I still hate to see anyone get hurt like you might one day. Do not fool yourself, if you feel things are rocky, they will not be fixed more than likely. And she slept with a guy before, she will do it again, maybe one night you guys have a slight fight and get angry and call things of in the moment type of thing, but she gets the idea that its done.. She goes and sleeps with another guy to make her feel better or whatever, I dunno, but the point is, if she did it before, she will do it again.

Posted by: DimebagDarrell

no, she slept with him because she thought i was never going to talk to her again. shes insanely broken up over it. she IS the one.

Posted by: gr81

you couldn't possibly know sho THE ONE is, that a bunch of nonsense man, sorry to tell ya. I mean if we are gonna be candid for a minute then lets really do it. To think that there is one person for everyone in the world is just assinign. The percentages of anyone actually coming in comtact with their "one" person is microscopic at best, ya feel me. Everyone has something different to offer, and certain people bring out different sides of us. Not too mention the fact that people change drastically at our age dude. I have been there, I thought I was so over the top in love with someone when I was younger, and people change dogg, its like that. You are too young to be in a serious relationship, that doesn't mean you gotta go and fucc around, but saying that someone is the best you ever had means nothing b/c you have nothing to compare it to. There is a reason almost none of these young relationships work out. Everyone believes that their situation is different too, its not. You will learn.. life isn't no fairy tale where you just find your love and everything is OK.. its all good playa, you will learn. I wish ya luck. Take it from people that have been there thou like MG and myself, we know what we are talkin about. We have been where you are now.. peace

Posted by: Muscle_Girl

I am done trying to convince. I Will just let ya do your thang. If ya need someone to talk to anytime about anything I am here. Good luck in your relationship, may it be exactly as you want.

Posted by: austinite

Quote:

Originally Posted by DimebagDarrell

wasnt until a year after i finally talked to the guy and he admitted they slept together. twice. only then does she come clean.

How can you be sure it was only twice? How would it affect you if it turned out to be 5 times? 6 times? I hope you're right, that she came clean after being caught in a lie.

Posted by: Grant_73

Quote:

Originally Posted by DimebagDarrell

ok, so i had dated this girl for two years, but it was long distance and by the end of the two years it was such a stupid relationship because every single talk turned into her whining about something and then i would get upset with her. so i called it off for a while so she could get her life together because her total reliance on me was destroying any life she had. well, then i call her about a month and a half later, because i miss her so much (im totally in love with her) and we get back together.

one night we go to this party, and this guy she made out with was there, and he seemed scared shitless of me. thought it was kinda odd. anyway, we then stayed together for a year, until very recently. i had asked her at least a dozen times about what happened with the guy, but her story varied from just making out to him trying to rape her, but that nothing serious happened.

wasnt until a year after i finally talked to the guy and he admitted they slept together. twice. only then does she come clean. so not only did she have sex with some other guy while we were apart so she could get her life back together, but she lied about it for a year. i just wanted to go through life having sex with one person and that person having only had sex with me (we lost our virginities to eachother). well that got ruined. anyway, i dumped her on her ass for doing that to me. but i took her back because i love her so much and i do know she loves me more than anything.

but its now eating me up inside and i dont know what to do. i dont eat much anymore, i havent been to the rec in 3 weeks (after going a constant 5 times a week), i have no motivation, im not going to my classes, not hanging out with friends. i told her that i almost felt like i had to go have sex with someone else so that i wouldnt feel as bad about everything, and she said if thats what it takes, then thats what it takes. keep in mind that shes been my only partner ever, and shes had two. that i know of, i dont trust her for shit anymore.

what do i do?

When I was in my early 20s I had a long distance relationship. Did my exgirlfriend ever cheat on me? I don't know. Do I care? Not really. I did cheat on her, so turnabout is fair play. Point being LDR rarely ever work. I assume you are young. Get on with your life, have fun.

Posted by: austinite

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grant_73

Reminds me of a line in an LL Cool J song called Mr. Goodbar. He is hitting on some girl at a bar: "Huh? My girl? I don't know, she might be with your man, you know what I'm sayin'? But I'm with you."

Posted by: Grant_73

Or the one from Afroman "what do ya mean where's my girl? Probably with your man. Can we FVCK?"

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