Dieting and Girlfriends..... [Forum Archive]

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Dieting and Girlfriends.....

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Posted by: rjr5353

Do any of you have a significant other who isnt in to working out and doesnt do the whole eating 6 times a day thing? My girl is having a hard time with the way I eat and what Im eating? How do you guys handle this? I try to accomodate her to the best of my ability.....She doesnt understand why I buy red potatoes instead of regular potatoes.....I tried to tell her about the glycemic index and she stared at me for awhile before telling me Im an idiot!

Posted by: bulletproof1

try to educate her on the benefits of working out. if it still doesnt interest her, make 2 grocery lists, 1 for you and 1 for her. if that doesnt work, find a new chick.

Posted by: Akateros

I eat what I eat, my SO (who is vegetarian anyway) just looks on in bemusement.

You have to admit, what a lot of us around here do (at least at times) is extreme; far more extreme than is necessary for simple health. (Red potatoes vs. white? Whuddever. Don't put a whole brick of butter plus maybe some cream cheese in your mashed potatoes, maybe.) Not much you can do about it, really. Plan your cheats so that you can enjoy them with her, do your thing, and don't leave the dishes from your six meals a day and marathon food-prep sessions for her to do, is my advice.

Posted by: P-funk

Dump her.

Posted by: bulletproof1

I mean seriously if bb is something that you're really passionate about, it will be hard for you to reach your full potential if she isnt supporting you 100% IMO.

Posted by: Akateros

I think it's an advantage, personally. JLB and Dr. Chiro, to use one example, must be candidates for some kind of sainthood. When I was comp dieting, it was a real bonus to have at least one sane person eating a sufficiency of calories and carbs around.

Posted by: Akateros

Support's one thing. A girlfriend who isn't into that herself is a whole other thing. A person can be plenty supportive without actually wanting to do it.

She supportive when she isn't laughing at your red potatoes, rjr? Or does she bitch and moan about the lot of it -- the chicken breast, the time in the gym, everything?

Posted by: Monolith

Quote:

Originally Posted by P-funk

Dump her.

what he said. she should be happy youre keeping yourself in shape.

Posted by: bulletproof1

Quote:

Originally Posted by rjr5353

Do any of you have a significant other who isnt in to working out and doesnt do the whole eating 6 times a day thing? My girl is having a hard time with the way I eat and what Im eating? How do you guys handle this? I try to accomodate her to the best of my ability.....She doesnt understand why I buy red potatoes instead of regular potatoes.....I tried to tell her about the glycemic index and she stared at me for awhile before telling me Im an idiot!

from his initial post it sounds to me like she bitches and moans about everything. women ..... sheesh

Posted by: rjr5353

Shes trying to be supportive, in her own way, but I think shes starting to feel a little self conscious....It is a big change for her.....We used to eat anything we wanted...and now I completely changed my eating habits, started lifting.....and now Im labeled a health nut.....but theres no turning back now...I guess in a way we( health nuts) are a little strange to the normal population......

Posted by: bulletproof1

man you need to ask the women what to do here. they can probably help you out more. they know what your girl is thinking. all the guys here will just say get rid of her.

Posted by: Akateros

Ah. A little bit of thinking you've gone over the edge, a little bit of guilt. Don't kid yourself. Health nuts on the level of this lot (God you guys are a tough crowd! Don't you know any so-called "normal" people? Or do you just sneer at the lot of them from your respective mountaintops?) are very strange to the normal population.

It isn't easy from her perspective either. Probably half the "fun" things you used to do are now off-limits because they involve bad food or booze... can't pick up and just go places, you've gotta have your friggin' cooler, and can't miss workout time.

You're having fun, and it's good for you, but it IS a freakin' lot of work. Y'should try and keep that in mind. And for pete's sake don't criticise what she eats -- yah, I know. Garbage and crap, she'd feel so much better if she... Yah, I know. Keep it to yourself though. You love her in spite of that, right? Maybe if she sees it working for you, she'll be inspired to get healthier too, but nobody ever stuck with it who got nagged into it by some Healthy Living Evangelist. You'll just piss her off.

Posted by: Jodi

It shouldn't matter what you choose to do with your training and diet. Don't try to force her to eat what you eat. Educate her when she asks but don't force it upon her.

At the same token she should understand your goals and whether or not she agrees with them, she should be supportive and let you do your thing.

In time, you may be surprised to see she might join you in some of it. That's how I got my boyfriend to do it. Over time of educating him on why I eat certain foods and what I do in the gym, he now goes to the gym 3-4 times a week and he tries to eat healthier. I'm able to cook dinner for both of us and he eats mostly the same foods as I do, just alot more of it.

Posted by: kvyd

heh...its almost the same for me. People look at me like im insane when im at the water fountain filling up make shaker cup,then I shake it pull out my fish oil caps and pot two pills. I get all kinda of crazy looks When I pack a chicken breast and brown rice for lunch,and dont eat a lunchroom hamburger and fries. I just say whatever and smile at them...so what im getting at is just tell her this is how your gonna be. Like it or not.

Posted by: sentricyphen

i always make it a point to let them know right away that i am into bodybuilding, that way they will know to respect my lifestlye right off the bat, and if they dont, then forget them.

Posted by: bulletproof1

thats a good point sentricyphen but unfortunately in his case, bb is something he got interested in while they were together.

Posted by: rjr5353

True on that....We were three years into our relationship when I decided to do this...It is hard when were trying to plan to do something on the weekends and I have to consider packing food for the day....I dont mind it....She likes to go out at least once a week to the bars...of course i have to follow....i do drink a bit though....Once a week.....I have to compromise that for her........

Posted by: nikegurl

this can be hard. my bf is super supportive on one hand...he's even drained cans of tuna for me b/c i HATE doing that.

but overall it'd be a lot easier to stick to the diet without him around. if you open my cabinet there's a lot of food in there i'd never buy for myself. it'd be easier for me not to know there's a key lime pie in my refrigerator when i wake up in the middle of the night.

he definitely encourages me to cheat more than i should on weekends and will really guilt me and say i'm "no fun" if i won't join him with whatever yummy treat he's having. it can be done though. some partners make it easier to live this way. some make it harder. but in the end - what and when we eat and train is really in our own hands.

Posted by: Jeeper

Most people are very afraid of someone that is very dedicated to anything. Most people are such big slackers that devotion is foreign to them. Stay strong. My GF doesnt workout(yet!) but we dont have much of a problem eating together. Chicken and rice can be made into some tasty meals. Turkey and potatoes also. (yum..where's my lunch?) She does love my refeed days. Of course she could eat like that every day and not gain an ounce.

Posted by: nikegurl

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jeeper

Most people are very afraid of someone that is very dedicated to anything.

...strangely i've found this to be very true. when i prepared for my one (and only) competition i had a group of "friends" at the gym who were supportive but as the date got closer and my diet got stricter and i stopped going out at night etc etc.... a few actually seemed to be trying to sabatoge my efforts.

now it could be that the low carbs made me delusional - but i dont' think so. they were helpful to a point but when i crossed some line they saw as "reasonable" they got really uncomfortable with it.

then again - we were just kids.

Posted by: gr81

Quote:

Dump her.

Pfolks got it right, DTB baby. don't try an accommidate her

Posted by: LAM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rjr5353

True on that....We were three years into our relationship when I decided to do this...It is hard when were trying to plan to do something on the weekends and I have to consider packing food for the day....I dont mind it....She likes to go out at least once a week to the bars...of course i have to follow....i do drink a bit though....Once a week.....I have to compromise that for her........

has your gf every participated in sports, etc ?

Posted by: Premo55

You know what's weird?
My girl was going to go on a DIvision One Basketball scholarship to UCLA two years ago (Point Guard, I was supposed to go on a D2 scholarship as an SG, didn't work out for either of us because of injuries). Now she's a kinesiology/sports psychology major at school, but her diet is far from perfect. We were watching King Arthur last night and while I was chomping on frissee, radiccio, baby spinach and a chicken breast, she was munching on a HUGE muffin with a block of butter on it. Afterwards she had a bagel with more butter. I'm just wondering how on earth she manages to keep the weight off.

I'm in exactly the same boat as you, dude, I wasn't half as anal about my diet two years ago, when we first started out. Admittedly there were nights of cheesecake, milk and cookies etc. in the past, none of which I really indulge in unless it's a cheat day now. She gets really upset at the movies when she tries to force feed me popcorn, candy, muffins, etc., and it's tough for me seeing her unhappy. Being the ass that I am, I stick to my guns unless it's a cheat day and then the tension mounts. It's just weird, because she's in the gym 5 days a week and is in great shape, you'd think that with her being in a sport psychology class she'd acknowledge the importance of good nutrition instead of scoffing at all my bland food and fish oil caps.

Worst part is she does expect me to be in shape, yet persistently wants me to cheat on my diet. I love her in every other respect, though.

Peace.

Posted by: Var

My gf is supportive most of the time, but really doesnt understand why this is so important to me. It definitely frustrates her at times when I dont want to go out drinking with friends, or snack on shitty food. I see it as something she just has to accept. I try to accomodate her by planning my cheat meals/days around when I'll be with her.

Posted by: rjr5353

Quote:

Originally Posted by LAM

has your gf every participated in sports, etc ?

Ya, back in highschool, she was a swimmer....She took it very seriously...but shes 28 now, so that was awile ago....Im 26, and have been in sports my whole life up until recently....I cant just dump her...That's not what I want...Maybe in the end, she'll dump me.......

Posted by: hikerchick

Sorry guys, but rjr, I definitely don't think you should dump her over this.

Do you think maybe she's a little scared or insecure over this? Some people are a bit afraid of change, especially when other people they're close to try to improve themselves. I bet she'll come around when she sees how good you feel from eating well, and she might appreciate the bigger muscles

My husband goes in and out of exercising himself, but is always extremely supportive of me doing it. We take turns making healthy meals for each other and when he wants something not so healthy, he can make it for himself. He does love my cheat days though.

Posted by: cjrmack

My biggest problem is with the fact that she called you an idiot. You should probably sit down and have a discussion about it. She may be feeling insecure.

Posted by: sentricyphen

Quote:

Originally Posted by bulletproof1

thats a good point sentricyphen but unfortunately in his case, bb is something he got interested in while they were together.

yeah its not much help for him. hopefully for someone else though.

Posted by: JLB001

Let's see....I had an ex bf that ate nothing but Taco Bell and Pizza Hut while I dieted for my 2nd show way back when. He got fatter, I got smaller. He never went with me to the gym, never did cardio with me and bitched the whole time when I was wanting to compete. Thank Goodness he is an EX now.

Craig on the otherhand...is just the opposite. He'll diet, do cardio and train with me. We don't always see eye to eye on the compitition stuff, but he is always there for me regardless.

If bbing is your passion, she should understand your desire to perfect yourself. It will take some planning and compromise on both parts. There have been many times when Craig watches me prepare my foods for the day for an adventure out.

Of coarse..you can always tell her you like eatting that way and that you feel better doing so. Trying to explain what we do and why we do it can sometimes be more of a pain in the ass then coming up with a quick lil white lie.

Posted by: aztecwolf

Quote:

Originally Posted by nikegurl

then again - we were just kids.

yeah doing this shit to the extreme can definately put a hamper on your social life, i mean just last week after we went clubbing my friends all wanted pizza at about 2:30 at night, and i was just like uh "thanks but no thanks", throw it the fact that they were all piss-ass drunk, while i was as sober as priest

Posted by: aggies1ut

I'm lucky. I'm moving home and don't eat half the stuff that my dad and soon to be step-mom eat. She likes to cook though, so my just bought an extra fridge today. Hah, I moved all my food into it in the garage.

Going out with friends is hard though. I'm hungry and they aren't, I don't eat the food they want to eat, etc.

Posted by: dalila

this is an intresting one, and sorry it's gonna be a lenghty answer, but I have lots to say on this one

I'd say RJR, if you've explained to her why's this now important to you, and she is still not supportive.. well makes you think what else she won't be supportive off.... The point is no matter what it is, if it's something very important to one partner, it should be important to the other as well, the other partner should support it best they can, even if they don't want to participate directly. That's what LOVE and RESEPECT are all about ( simple maths .. I care for you, you care for dieting, thus I care for your dieting too!!).

I mean look at this way, you live with someone for 30 over years, dont tell me that every now at then there won't be things that one of you will suddenly develop interest in, and the other may or may not like it... it's called evolving, growing, changing.... and couples must learn how to deal with it, otherwise..... It's stupid of anyone to say " hey when I met you, you weren't into this, and I liked you just as you were..." I mean can you expect of anyone not to chage over time??

The guy I've been seeing for 5 years now used to row in his uni team, 10 years back, was used to rigorous eating and training.. Now he can't be bothered, has a beer belly and won't walk longer than 5 min

, he doesn' understand why I am so strict with my food and exercises, but he fully supports it, he won't even smoke around me unless I tell him first it's ok, if I cook I cook rice and 2 dishes - something lean for myself, something tasty for him ( it's only like 15 min extra work), if we go out, there's always somethign on the menu we both can order, and when we go out partying, he's the who sneaks water into my drinks so other friends don't pressure me to have another one and another one...

It can work, as long as she cares for you and respects you!

Posted by: Jenny

She could be afraid of you changing and not feeling like she'd be good enough for the person you're becoming. She might not even realise it. I had similar feelings a few years back when I was really insecure and I was dating a guy who was very into BB (did some modeling and has since then competed) and he'd cut and get ripped. It's very easy to be afraid of change.
Now I don't have any problems really since my boyfriend enjoys eating healthy too. When I cook for us I just cook more for him and cook rice or potatoes for him when I'm cutting the carbs. His support is very important to me and he never complains when I leave the bed early in the morning to do my AM cardio instead of snuggling with him. He likes my bod and understands that it takes a lot of work to improve it.

Talk to your girl and really make her understand how you feel. She might not even realise what she's doing. Let her now how important this is to you and why it is important. Good luck

Posted by: ncgirl21

I think it's an insecurity issue. My boyfriend constantly bitches about what I eat, when I eat, when I want to go to the gym,

, just everything. But, I cook two different breakfast's every morning before work, I pack him a seperate lunch, I cook two different dinners so I really don't understand the big deal. Even when I'm not dieting I don't eat the same stuff he does- I just don't like it. I think he see's that my self-cofindence increases when I'm comfortable with how I look and he gets jealous. But, that's not my problem and that's not your problem either. Just accomodate her the best that you can without making yourself cheat on your diet. She'll get over it!

Posted by: donescobar2000

Quote:

Originally Posted by rjr5353

Shes trying to be supportive, in her own way, but I think shes starting to feel a little self conscious....It is a big change for her.....We used to eat anything we wanted...and now I completely changed my eating habits, started lifting.....and now Im labeled a health nut.....but theres no turning back now...I guess in a way we( health nuts) are a little strange to the normal population......

Been there done that. Me and my ex where the same way. Once I changed she didnt support me with my diet and training. This was after we tried to give it a second chance though with our relationship. She did not support me because I was so anal with the way I ate. Now we are split.

But oh well, It was not meant to be I guess.

Posted by: Paynne

Quote:

Originally Posted by Premo55

Worst part is she does expect me to be in shape, yet persistently wants me to cheat on my diet. Peace.

This is my situation exactly. She WAS constantly trying to sabatoge my efforts but she'll stare at guys with abs on the beach. I finally yelled at her for putting down everyting I eat. Now we just don't talk about it. I think it's mainly insecurity. Well, it looks like I'm not the only one in this situation.

Quote:

she stared at me for awhile before telling me Im an idiot!

This would be a problem for me. I would have some serious words for someone who knew nothing about nutrition saying this to me.

Posted by: ncgirl21

When she called you an idiot, was she just really upset? A lot of times people say things they don't mean out of anger.

Posted by: I Are Baboon

Quote:

Originally Posted by rjr5353

Is she hot?

I have to deal with this damn near every day at work. The women here just dont understand why I eat so often. I try to explain it, but they just don't understand. I don't really need them to understand, just accept.

Your girlfriend needs a serious talkin' to for calling you an idiot for it.

Posted by: bulletproof1

Quote:

Originally Posted by P-funk

Dump her.

Posted by: JOhn100

Originally posted by Akateros

Quote:

(God you guys are a tough crowd! Don't you know any so-called "normal" people? Or do you just sneer at the lot of them from your respective mountaintops?)

Oh hell yes now I deffinitly feel like I fit in here! Just exactly what is normal??? Cuz I have never been it!! Hey I have been maried for 7 years and the best advice I can give you for the situation is to open yourself up to her! If she is worth keeping (AKA posibly the one Etc. ETC.) you need to talk to her and explain to her what it is you are doing!! and why you are doing it! tell her the reasons. If she dosent understand or refuses to listen to you than you have done everyting you can to let her know what you feel. If she still gives you a hard time after that the problume is her's and you are going to have to live with the situation. Either she will come around or she will possibly make the decision to hit the bricks for you! If it gets real bad and no amount of explaining helps than you may have to give her the proverbial boot! Hey just so you know you are not the only one who gets those potato looks! Mine was over the peanut butter!!

Posted by: Jodi

Quote:

Originally Posted by ncgirl21

I think it's an insecurity issue. My boyfriend constantly bitches about what I eat, when I eat, when I want to go to the gym,

You do too much. I would never cook 2 different meals. I'll add something to what I'm cooking to accomodate but I'd never cook seperate meals.

Posted by: JLB001

I would cook seperate for my son or Craig. but not for the EX bf. He could carry his chunky self to Taco Hell instead.

Posted by: rjr5353

[QUOTE=I Are Baboon]Is she hot?

Ya, she's definitely hot....Great in bed, and a lot of fun to be around most of the time....I jsut have to make her understand how this is working for me....Ill keep trying....I appreciate everyones feedback...It looks like Im not the only one going through this though....That makes me feel better!

Posted by: squanto

theres always gonna be balance issues with a significant other. for me, she doesnt ever complain that im eating weird stuff. but she used to have an eating disorder and i know it affects her to see me losing all this weight. its hard not to brag about it, but i dont want to comprimise her health. were both really weird about what we eat in different ways, but we get buy. i cant agree more that trying to force your habits on someone else is the wrong thing though. i definately try to avoid this, cuz someone with an eating disorder doesnt take too well to being told they need to lose weight. and dumping her seems a little absurd at this point...
basically id say try to let her know that this is the way you are, but also try not to rub it in her face too much. hell, try not to nitpick at the food SHE's eating, that should be hard enough.

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