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Originally Posted by OceanDude
OK, I met this woman on line who wanted to "connect" with me. I won't get into specifics about what site etc. but we all had photos of ourselves and personal info about hobbies etc. She is married and I am married and there was some innocent flirting on line that was fun. After a lot of her teasing and because she lives close I finally agreed to meet her at a restaurant for lunch just to see if she was for real. I was extremely nervous and so was she but we were kind of like on line buddies. So we meet and have drinks to calm our nerves and hit it off very well. She was fun to be around. Immediately after lunch she says to take her someplace where she will show me that everything she was saying on line in her flirting sessions was for real. I tell her that I am happily married and I just was curious about her and do not want to put my marriage at risk and my wife is OK with "friends" but that's it. She says she is happily married and she has an understanding with her husband and she just wants to have sex with me with no other strings attached. Against all natural urging I refuse her and do not give her my phone number but she gives me hers and says "when you are man enough call me."
We continue to meet on line and chat and she sends me daily emails and says she wants to get together again and have sex as often as possible. I tell her no but one more time cave into another meeting where she gets in my car and starts touching and making it almost impossible to say no. But I again say it's time to go. Clearly there is chemistry with both of us but I don't want to go beyond the flirting stage. So, she ups the ante. She goes off and meets a very young soccer player on line and meets up with him and has sex with him. She gets with me on chat and tells me all about it and says "see, I was willing to spread my legs for you and you walked away from it and I wanted it bad so I went out and found it". She further tells me "if you want to get any of me in the future you will have to now fight for me and earn it." She was pissed off at me for turning her down and wanted to get even and make me jealous. I ended up telling her to go take a hike on the sex but really liked the friendship and openness and we are still fond of each other and stay in touch. She keeps sending me e-mail teasing me and taunting me to "come get some when I am man enough to handle it". She continues to tell me that because I am not there she now routinely sees this guy just for no-strings attached, non-relational, pure physical sexual satisfaction. But I know she is trying to get me jealous and taunts me by saying "you could have had this if you just took it so come and take it back, I'm waiting..." So, what would you do in this situation? OD |
I think this woman has got some ISSUSES 
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Originally Posted by BritChick
You say you are happily married, if so you need to smarten up, you are playing a very dangerous game!
She also sounds like a complete bitch who gets off on headgames! (No I didn't mean those kind!!! ) |
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Originally Posted by Randy
...Man You dissapoint me OD... I thought you were much wiser than this
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Originally Posted by OceanDude
So, what would you do in this situation?
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Originally Posted by nikegurl
as for liking challenges (believe me, i can relate) you can use that to your advantage to remove yourself from the mess too. the online woman isn't really a challenge at this point - she's made it clear she wants to sleep with you. so the challenge would be in not getting caught. but that thrill wears off really fast while the damage done would probably be lasting.
convince yourself that the real challenge would be walking away at this point. |
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Originally Posted by naturaltan
Wouldn't offer a second meeting after the first ... did you wife know about the first meeting? The second?
Do you consider the second meeting cheating in any form? |
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Originally Posted by Randy
Man You dissapoint me OD... I thought you were much wiser than this
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Originally Posted by BritChick
You say you are happily married, if so you need to smarten up, you are playing a very dangerous game!
She also sounds like a complete bitch who gets off on headgames! (No I didn't mean those kind!!! ) |
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Originally Posted by OceanDude
Yes and no. I intimated I was going to see a friend but I did not disclose the nature of the friendship. Yes, technically speaking it probably was cheating in my own book but I think I backed out of it OK before it was consummated to the point of irreconcilable regret and permanent damage.
OD |
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Originally Posted by ALBOB
she's nothing but a two bit slut. Don't risk your marriage over something like that.
But you already knew that. |
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Originally Posted by greekblondechic
That is like carrying a box of chocolates around. If you don't want to give in to temptation don't keep it in your face.
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Originally Posted by Archangel
It is human to be tempted, it takes a real MAN to walk away and preserve the sanctity of marriage!!! My whole thought on the "cheating" thing is simple : How would you feel if your wife was doing what you are/almost did? I Always think about that if I am ever tempted. I try to make it a rule to never do anything behind my wifes back, that I would not do with her right beside me!!! Just my 2 cents. Good luck!!!
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Originally Posted by naturaltan
I don't know your wife, but I'm willing to bet she would be very upset about what you did.
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). So far I have yet to see this side of her come out in a hostile way but if she were agitated on an important "core" issue no doubt, in the Italian tradition she would likely fling every pot, pan and lose item in the house at me and then go toe to toe with physical blows. On a good day she could very possibly kick my butt (she is extremely athletic and physically stronger than many men 10 years younger than her). But then again, she actually seems to enjoy it when we both dress up and go out clubbing or dining when other couples take note of us or strike up conversations. We both take it as a compliment for each other when either of us gets the attention of others and never get jealous about it. In fact we are also best friends and she will often later tell me with a smile "hey handsome, that nice woman at the bar seemed to like you and so do I" (which is usually a prelude to romance). So I think it's a different kind of situation for us than most couples since we are confident and secure with each other and really do not think it possible one would go all the way with somone else. She knows I don't care if she flirts but she chooses not to. And she gets amused when I do or I tell her half jokingly that there is a hot woman at the club I want to meet and just laughs it off or says "go for it baby". That's the nice thing - we are best friends too. So far we have not broken "the code" and I doubt we really ever will. |
Originally Posted by OceanDude
So she seems to give me a lot of free reign and acts remarkably casual about things.... But then again, she actually seems to enjoy it when we both dress up and go out clubbing or dining when other couples take note of us or strike up conversations. We both take it as a compliment for each other when either of us gets the attention of others and never get jealous about it. In fact we are also best friends and she will often later tell me with a smile "hey handsome, that nice woman at the bar seemed to like you and so do I" (which is usually a prelude to romance). So I think it's a different kind of situation for us than most couples since we are confident and secure with each other and really do not think it possible one would go all the way with somone else.
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Originally Posted by milliman
OD, you are playing with fire and will get burned.
The Bible tells us that temptation will come along and you can't stop that. But you should flee from it before it overcomes you. Sin is like a bird flying over your head, you can't stop it. But you can stop the bird from making a nest on your head. Sin starts off as a thought, then progresses into a fantasy, then we try to make it a reality without getting caught. You have taken step 1 and 2 and almost 3. If you keep setting up meetings you WILL FAIL my friend. Don't try to think you are superman and can overcome this temptation. Be like Joseph and flee the temptation before it is too late. Save you marriage before it is too late and break off all contact with this woman immediately. |
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Originally Posted by Randy
OD,
Don't listen to any of this BS.. They are all just trying to brain wash you... I say do her, you may never get the opportunity again.. |
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Originally Posted by GoalGetter
This pretty much sums up what I would have said, too.
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but taken to heart.|
Originally Posted by Rauschgift
I would actually question whether you truly are happy in you marriage. I think if you look deep down inside you might not find the answer you expected.
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Originally Posted by Archangel
It is human to be tempted, it takes a real MAN to walk away and preserve the sanctity of marriage!!! My whole thought on the "cheating" thing is simple : How would you feel if your wife was doing what you are/almost did? I Always think about that if I am ever tempted. I try to make it a rule to never do anything behind my wifes back, that I would not do with her right beside me!!! Just my 2 cents. Good luck!!!
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Originally Posted by milliman
OD, you are playing with fire and will get burned.
The Bible tells us that temptation will come along and you can't stop that. But you should flee from it before it overcomes you. Sin is like a bird flying over your head, you can't stop it. But you can stop the bird from making a nest on your head. Sin starts off as a thought, then progresses into a fantasy, then we try to make it a reality without getting caught. You have taken step 1 and 2 and almost 3. If you keep setting up meetings you WILL FAIL my friend. Don't try to think you are superman and can overcome this temptation. Be like Joseph and flee the temptation before it is too late. Save you marriage before it is too late and break off all contact with this woman immediately. |
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Originally Posted by adrien_j9
I don't know many guys that can walk away from a situation like that. OD, you definately have a massive challenge on your hands. Do you think you can really do it?
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Originally Posted by OceanDude
Melissa, yes I can and have done it. I walked away and am ready to delete her e-mail address and cell phone number as we speak. I will then set up my spam filter to reject her incoming mail so I never get a chance to see it and cave into it. She has no personal info about me at all except for one of my less used e-mail accounts which would be impossible for all but an expert to trace to me personally. I only made one single mistake. I let her know about a new and vacant luxury condo I own on the riverfront that she wanted us to go to after that first meeting and she knows both me and my wife's first name. If she is smart enough to look up the public record and find the only owners there with that same pair of first names I am potentially subject to being in a extortion/stalker scenario. Her personality and need to win and dominate make this scenario a real possibility and it could yet prove to be very very bad for me. But I have a back up plan if this were to happen. I know who she works for and could have her fired with a single phone call since I know she leaves work all the time for extended lunch breaks to meet people and claims she was on the job doing government work (time card fraud is a federal crime when working for the gov). Fortunately she lives on the other side of the county and does not frequent any of the places I routinely go to. Shutting down that situation fast...
OD |
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Originally Posted by OceanDude
I think what is troubling me more about this situation is not the cheat/no-cheat debate but the discovery that it seems there is getting to be more and more women like this out there. OD
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(for stopping)
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Originally Posted by OceanDude
IAB actually I meet married and single woman all the time in my profession and often take them to lunch at the yacht club etc. as clients. It's the nature of my job to get very close relationally and develop trust relationships because when one routinely deals with $1,000,000 plus sales real estate contracts
OD |
