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Married Women


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Posted by: Vieope


Would you do it if you were very attracted to her?
Pros: Very hot
Cons: Loving family that you may destroy



Posted by: bulletproof1

i have done it and it did end their marriage but in the end it was best for her. he was very abusive to her. i feel bad it ended their marriage but i know she is thankful it did. otherwise she would still be getting beat or possibly dead.


Posted by: MaxMirkin

I'd do it. But if she happened to have a hot daughter, I might not stop there.


Posted by: OceanDude

This was one of those things that I should never have done but I did. She worked for me and the company had a setback and laid her off without even telling me it was coming. We were both shocked and devastated since it was unexpected. We were a good team, had a lot of personal respect for each other's technical abilities as well as very good professional interaction. We had no hint of any romantic intentions prior to that event. I was so devastated that I was not told about the layoff and the company wanted those being laid off to vacate immediately. It was cold and heartless and I felt like I let her down and should have known it was coming. I got with her in her office on that day and comforted her and gave her words of encouragement. She hugged me we both started crying. She then told me she loved me and I was overcome with conflicting emotions (I was single at this time). She called me at home and said she wanted to meet and talk about some things. I invited her over that evening since I had a lot of contacts in the business and felt I could get her a new job. We talked about that and I made some phone calls and she was all set for a new job interview within the week. She then thanks me and told me with tears in her eyes that her life at home was living hell. She told me her husband and been trying to get her to divorce him for over a year and that she was going to a counselor about it but he refused to go. She was very religious and very sincere and committed to her marriage but was losing heart at trying to make it work. She said that just that week he had bought a book on "how to leave your spouse" and tossed it at her as he left to go see his new girlfriend. She needed a friend and all the job loss etc. just was emotionally destroying her. It took that layoff to see her in a different "non-professiona"l light and I was so angry about this guy treating her like this and tried to console her. She then suddenly put her arms around me and started crying and telling me she wants to be with me so much. I suddenly realized that I always must have had a deep chemistry for her that I was suppressing and just started kissing her and hugging her back.

We went to the bedroom and just lay there kissing and touching but I would not let it go beyond that because I was having all kinds of head problems and did not want to have her commit outright adultery since she was still technically married and we are both religious and moral about this issue but nature is now in control. She finally just undresses herself and then me too and I am begging her to stop. She says "no I want this" and before I could stop it she sits on me and gets us all involved intimately. At this point it was biologically impossible for me to say no and I just hugged her and let it happen. It was emotionally hard for me because she was a very descent woman who believed in marriage and was fighting to make it work (and I genuinely wanted it to work for her) and her husband refused to try and was interested in some young woman.

I had a lot of guilt problems with it but she continued to see me. Then one day she takes off her wedding band and tosses it on the floor and says 'it's over with him and she wants to be with me forever'. I was overcome with guilt since I knew how important her marriage was to her and I literally watched her toss it away at that moment. The reality of what we had done hit home and it scared me. We continued to see each other for over 6 months but ended up splitting because I had all these guilt feelings about her leaving her husband and she did not want to have to deal with me not being able to cope with the reality of what we had done. She remarried a descent guy about 18 months later and when she sees me up town (with my wife now) she keeps a polite distance but smiles and gives me a look like "it could have been you" but also signals that she approves of my wife. It's a haunting pain and a feeling of uncertainty about choices that I will live with all my life.

OD


Posted by: pmech

Unacceptable in any circumstance. Being married, I know I would kill the man. People think I joke about having land, and a wood chipper, and a strong stomach.


Posted by: greekblondechic

OD you write the best (true) stories

Crono writes the best fiction stories


Posted by: MaxMirkin

You mean, "Wizard of IM" isn't true?


Posted by: OceanDude

GBC thanks very much for that compliment.
OD


Posted by: greekblondechic

Max!

No prob OD.


Posted by: bulletproof1

i never get complimented for anything.

p.s. shut up max


Posted by: Prince

assuming I were single...

absolutely not, I would not get involved with a married woman, I have integrity.


Posted by: Vieope

Quote:
Originally Posted by Robert DiMaggio
I have integrity.
Funny word integrity.


Posted by: Prince

this is for OD:


in·teg·ri·ty (P) Pronunciation Key (n-tgr-t)

n.
1. Steadfast adherence to a strict moral or ethical code.
2. The state of being unimpaired; soundness.
3. The quality or condition of being whole or undivided; completeness.


Posted by: dg806

Quote:
Originally Posted by Robert DiMaggio
I would not get involved with a married woman, I have integrity.
Spoken like a true conservative. Where is your liberal streak coming from??


Posted by: Prince

Quote:
Originally Posted by dg806
Spoken like a true conservative. Where is your liberal streak coming from??
I am not a liberal, I just hate Bush! (as in the President Bush)


Posted by: PreMier

Whats your answer V...


Posted by: milliman

Thank goodness it was not "bush" that you hated, or we would think that you crossed over to the hmmmmmm side.


Posted by: Vieope

Quote:
Originally Posted by PreMier
Whats your answer V...

Yes. In a heartbeat.

Although if I change to be that monogamy guy that I was talking about, my answer might be no in a few months.


Posted by: Prince

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vieope
Yes. In a heartbeat.
why?


Posted by: MaxMirkin

Quote:
Originally Posted by Robert DiMaggio
why?
Cause he's a slut.


Posted by: RexStunnahH

No.....I know women ( not all ) but some,Lie bout their spouses,they tend to exaggerate the truth.My buddies wife did that,saying that he was abusive and the guy she was foolin with,came over and it got ugly,it was embarrasing,they lived with her parents,everybody was outside watching,the neighbors and everyone.
I think, 2 wrongs don't make a right.Who am I to help break up a marrige.I leave that kind of shit for someone else to take care of,I don't wanna be part of some love triangle.


Posted by: I Are Baboon

Hell friggin no. I am happily married. And if I was single, my answer would still be no.


Posted by: Var

I was with a married woman once (ok twice), but I'd never actually cheat on someone I was dating or married to. Guess we all draw the moral line in different places.


Posted by: Var

Quote:
Originally Posted by MaxMirkin
I'd do it. But if she happened to have a hot daughter, I might not stop there.



Posted by: ponyboy

Quote:
Originally Posted by Robert DiMaggio
assuming I were single...

absolutely not, I would not get involved with a married woman, I have integrity.
I'm sleeping with a married woman right now. She's separated from her husband, has been for over year and divorce papers are going through over the next few months (which is amicable). But she's still married in the eyes of the government. I got involved with her six months into her separation. Does this mean I have no integrity?


Posted by: bulletproof1

Quote:
Originally Posted by bulletproof1
i have done it and it did end their marriage but in the end it was best for her. he was very abusive to her. i feel bad it ended their marriage but i know she is thankful it did. otherwise she would still be getting beat or possibly dead.
well since od told his story i figured i would ellaborate a little more on mine.....

all of this happened nearly 15 years ago. she was a mother of 2 boys (ages around 8 and 12) and looked as hot as they come. we worked together and what started out as a friendship turned into more (you know the story.) she did leave her husband because of me and we were together for about 2 years or so before breaking it off. the last time i saw her was about 3 years ago. her skin has aged at an incredible rate and she looked like she swallowed a beach ball. after me, she remarried and has since divorced him. she is also officially a grandmother now although her age today would only be 44 if memory serves. everything happens for a reason.


Posted by: Prince

Quote:
Originally Posted by ponyboy
But she's still married in the eyes of the government. I got involved with her six months into her separation. Does this mean I have no integrity?
If she is separated from her husband that is fine, the context of this thread, at least as I perceived it, was that we were talking about a married woman that is still living with her husband.

Whether or not you have integrity, I cannot discern that from this post.


Posted by: ponyboy

Darn. I thought someone could tell me.


Posted by: Prince

well, compared to a few people in this thread it sounds as though you do.


Posted by: I Are Baboon

Quote:
Originally Posted by Robert DiMaggio
If she is separated from her husband that is fine, the context of this thread, at least as I perceived it, was that we were talking about a married woman that is still living with her husband.
I concur. I have a friend who is separated from his cheating ho' of a wife, and they have not finalized their divorce because they can't afford it. That does not mean the women he dates are in the wrong.


Posted by: Vieope

Quote:
Originally Posted by Robert DiMaggio
why?
Because sex is a good thing and should not be contained by morality and integrity based of false concepts and dubious logic.

Other than that it is because I am insecure and depressed so I must sleep with every beautiful woman I meet.


Posted by: Prince

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vieope
Because sex is a good thing and should not be contained by morality and integrity based of false concepts and dubious logic.
how would you feel if another man slept with your wife, granted she would be at fault too, but I bet you would want to kill him if he knew your wife was married and slept with her anyway, right?

so, if you agree with that, why would you sleep with another man's wife?


Posted by: pmech

Quote:
Originally Posted by Robert DiMaggio
how would you feel if another man slept with your wife, granted she would be at fault too, but I bet you would want to kill him if he knew your wife was married and slept with her anyway, right?

so, if you agree with that, why would you sleep with another man's wife?
Same reason people make comments like "Your little girl is my little whore", because they have never been put in a place to care about someone like that.

Until they get married, or commited to someone they wont understand the possible hurt from such a action

Same as the little girl thing above. Until they have children of their own, comments like that won't phase them.

P.S. Yes my wife would also be at fault, but I could never hurt her, she would, on the other hand, watch the man die slowly


Posted by: Prince

Quote:
Originally Posted by pmech
P.S. Yes my wife would also be at fault, but I could never hurt her, she would, on the other hand, watch the man die slowly



Posted by: Vieope

Quote:
Originally Posted by Robert DiMaggio
how would you feel if another man slept with your wife, granted she would be at fault too, but I bet you would want to kill him if he knew your wife was married and slept with her anyway, right?

so, if you agree with that, why would you sleep with another man's wife?


I canīt understand that, really. It is only love, even if it is not love it is two people getting together to be happy. It is a celebration of life.
I might change though, I donīt know everything and I havenīt experienced everything as well.


Posted by: Prince

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vieope
I canīt understand that, really. It is only love, even if it is not love it is two people getting together to be happy. It is a celebration of life.
Fine, then celebrate life with a single woman, there are plenty, no need to fuck up someone else's marriage.


Posted by: Vieope

Quote:
Originally Posted by Robert DiMaggio
Fine, then celebrate life with a single woman, there are plenty, no need to fuck up someone else's marriage.
Emotions can not be controlled so easy, I donīt choose to whom I gonna be attracted next. I should not like someone because they are in some made up concept like marriage? That is just depressing.


Posted by: pmech

Disrepectful!


Posted by: Vieope

Quote:
Originally Posted by pmech
Disrepectful!

No, different age group and different culture.
Why do you need to own somebody? There are a lot of people in this world that you could love but your mind might be closed to that possibility already.


Posted by: gr81

first of all if you are sleeping with a married women, YOU are not the one fuccin up a marriage, SHE is. If she is going out and cheating then does it matter who she does it with, she is still doin it. Fucc it married women are the best, you can't really pay them attention b/c they have a life already, you can't buy them shit or do anything like that. Its just no strings attached sex and they are hungry for it b/c there husband ain't giving em the dick. Its her decision to go and cheat, not yours. Whether she does it with you or some random other person is a mute point. I dont understand why all you guys are like, well if that happened then I'd kill the guy. Its yoru bitch thats cheating and is scandalous, she is to blame and maybe you are to, not some other guy. please. this is ridiculous, and lets not act like marriage is such a holy sanctomony. People get married nowadays at the drop of a hat. Yes its sad that a family is in turmoil, but you can't look at teh cheating as the problem, there was a problem with the family long before anyone cheated, ya dig. lets address the real problem and not displace blame if we are really gonna talk about it


Posted by: Prince

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vieope
No, different age group and different culture.
Why do you need to own somebody? There are a lot of people in this world that you could love but your mind might be closed to that possibility already.
you do not have marriage in Brazil?

it is not ownership, it is a comittment, and you should respect others comittments.

you're right there are a lot of people in this world, so stay away from the ones that are married.


Posted by: Prince

Quote:
Originally Posted by gr81
first of all if you are sleeping with a married women, YOU are not the one fuccin up a marriage, SHE is. If she is going out and cheating then does it matter who she does it with, she is still doin it. Fucc it married women are the best, you can't really pay them attention b/c they have a life already, you can't buy them shit or do anything like that. Its just no strings attached sex and they are hungry for it b/c there husband ain't giving em the dick. Its her decision to go and cheat, not yours. Whether she does it with you or some random other person is a mute point. I dont understand why all you guys are like, well if that happened then I'd kill the guy. Its yoru bitch thats cheating and is scandalous, she is to blame and maybe you are to, not some other guy. please. this is ridiculous, and lets not act like marriage is such a holy sanctomony. People get married nowadays at the drop of a hat. Yes its sad that a family is in turmoil, but you can't look at teh cheating as the problem, there was a problem with the family long before anyone cheated, ya dig. lets address the real problem and not displace blame if we are really gonna talk about it
you are obviously young and naive, if you ever get married you will surely change your views on this.


Posted by: Vieope

Quote:
Originally Posted by Robert DiMaggio
you do not have marriage in Brazil?
Yes but the new generation is more liberated.
http://www.ironmagazineforums.com/sh...1&postcount=11
Quote:
it is not ownership, it is a comittment, and you should respect others comittments.

you're right there are a lot of people in this world, so stay away from the ones that are married.
What do you think about stopping a marriage to make her be with you? Also not good?


Posted by: Prince

all I know is that I am happily married and I would beat the living shit out of you or anyone that tries to get near my wife sexually.


Posted by: ponyboy

Here's another side of it - why is it the guys fault completely? If your wife knowingly pursues a sexual relationship with another man isn't she to blame? I'm against sleeping with married women but it takes two to tango - IMO the wife is just as much to blame. If you're going to kill the guy you had better burn your wife's belongings and throw her on the street as well.


Posted by: BoneCrusher

Two situations would need to exist:

He did not know she was my wife ... ie she lied and he is just doing his thang with a single woman.

He did know she was my wife and is doing my thang.

I am now single because of this situation. My ex screwed around a couple of times. 1st time I beat the shit outta the dude and left him in the trunk of his car ... he knew he was messing with my wife. Even talked smack to me on the phone. I followed her, got his plate, had it ran and followed him from his house. Hit his car in the ass, then kicked his ass when he got out to see who hit his car.

Second time the dude had no idea he was nailing a married woman ... I believed him and I let him walk. I found who he was, went to his regular bar and chated with him like just another beer drinking mofo ... he had no idea he was speaking to the man married to "his" girl. He never spoke to her again after I told him who I was according to both her cell phone and our house phone bills. Soon as he knew he bailed. Smart guy.

End result in my mind? If he knows he gets a beat down ... a real bone breaking beat down. The kind that a guy never forgets. If he does not know he should get a pass.

Either way I will not ever again give a second chance to a cheater.
My ex is the mother of my son so I tried again ... but now I am single.

In no way will I ever knowingly do another man's woman. It's not about her ... it's about me and him. I want men to respect my rights so I respect theirs. If you'd asked me that when I was 20 I would have just snickered and said "Ohhh no ... 'course not" with a smile.


Posted by: Lurker

Married women are too complicated, if you find one that will sleep with you what does that say about where her head is at. If you fall in love could you ever trust her to not step out on you.


Posted by: Prince

Quote:
Originally Posted by ponyboy
Here's another side of it - why is it the guys fault completely? If your wife knowingly pursues a sexual relationship with another man isn't she to blame?
it's not, it's 50/50 I said that earlier, but I am not going to beat up my wife so that leaves only the other man to kick the shit out of!


Posted by: RexStunnahH

Quote:
Originally Posted by BoneCrusher
Two situations would need to exist:

He did not know she was my wife ... ie she lied and he is just doing his thang with a single woman.

He did know she was my wife and is doing my thang.

I am now single because of this situation. My ex screwed around a couple of times. 1st time I beat the shit outta the dude and left him in the trunk of his car ... he knew he was messing with my wife. Even talked smack to me on the phone. I followed her, got his plate, had it ran and followed him from his house. Hit his car in the ass, then kicked his ass when he got out to see who hit his car.

Second time the dude had no idea he was nailing a married woman ... I believed him and I let him walk. I found who he was, went to his regular bar and chated with him like just another beer drinking mofo ... he had no idea he was speaking to the man married to "his" girl. He never spoke to her again after I told him who I was according to both her cell phone and our house phone bills. Soon as he knew he bailed. Smart guy.

End result in my mind? If he knows he gets a beat down ... a real bone breaking beat down. The kind that a guy never forgets. If he does not know he should get a pass.

Either way I will not ever again give a second chance to a cheater.
My ex is the mother of my son so I tried again ... but now I am single.

In no way will I ever knowingly do another man's woman. It's not about her ... it's about me and him. I want men to respect my rights so I respect theirs. If you'd asked me that when I was 20 I would have just snickered and said "Ohhh no ... 'course not" with a smile.


I would say this sums it up,as you get older and wiser,and experience more things...your priorities change.What if that was your mom,going around banging guys,behind your dads back?
I am a firm believer in what goes around comes around.I would not like that to happen to me.


Posted by: Vieope

Quote:
Originally Posted by Robert DiMaggio
all I know is that I am happily married and I would beat the living shit out of you or anyone that tries to get near my wife sexually.
It POW! was CRASH! worth SMACK! it.


Posted by: bulletproof1

i think we need to discuss why women (or men for that matter) cheat on their spouse to begin with. i mean we can talk about integrity and ass whoopins all day long. the fact is, if you are taking care of your spouse (in every way, not just sexually,) cheating will not be an option for them. if you are the guy that smacks his wife around, gets off without concern for her pleasure, or tries to "own" her, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. just mho.


Posted by: BoneCrusher

Quote:
Originally Posted by bulletproof1
i think we need to discuss why women (or men for that matter) cheat on their spouse to begin with. i mean we can talk about integrity and ass whoopins all day long. the fact is, if you are taking care of your spouse (in every way, not just sexually,) cheating will not be an option for them. if you are the guy that smacks his wife around, gets off without concern for her pleasure, or tries to "own" her, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. just mho.
Im with ya there BP. I was plauged with this exact mind f*ck as I went through the problem. Some people need a constant barage of input from outside of themself to feel content. If a person is not able to be happy without always getting input from others than sooner or later someone is gonna get hurt.


Posted by: largepkg

Quote:
Originally Posted by BoneCrusher
Im with ya there BP. I was plauged with this exact mind f*ck as I went through the problem. Some people need a constant barage of input from outside of themself to feel content. If a person is not able to be happy without always getting input from others than sooner or later someone is gonna get hurt.

^ I agree 100%!


Posted by: Prince

Quote:
Originally Posted by bulletproof1
i think we need to discuss why women (or men for that matter) cheat on their spouse to begin with. i mean we can talk about integrity and ass whoopins all day long. the fact is, if you are taking care of your spouse (in every way, not just sexually,) cheating will not be an option for them. if you are the guy that smacks his wife around, gets off without concern for her pleasure, or tries to "own" her, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. just mho.
there can be many reasons, and it does not necessarily involve a bad or unhappy marriage, just look at OceanDude, he talks about how he is/was on the verge of cheating on his wife in another thread in this forum and he is supposedly happily married.


Posted by: I Are Baboon

Quote:
Originally Posted by Robert DiMaggio
all I know is that I am happily married and I would beat the living shit out of you or anyone that tries to get near my wife sexually.



Posted by: OceanDude

Quote:
Originally Posted by Robert DiMaggio
there can be many reasons, and it does not necessarily involve a bad or unhappy marriage, just look at OceanDude, he talks about how he is/was on the verge of cheating on his wife in another thread in this forum and he is supposedly happily married.
This is not accurate and a misrepresentation of what my motives were - and I think you know that. I was curious about what I though was a very interesting person I wanted to get to know better (on a friendship basis). we had become good online friends and I had absolutely no idea that she was a sex fiend and had a different motive and agenda than friendship. Actually she had a different semantic for friends (casual non-relational sex) than I that I found to be incompatible. Cheating was never my objective and I backed out of it when the relationship got way out of line and admitted that I made a mistake. It was because I have values, a conscience and a commitment (and integrity) that I did back out and not cave into an extremely strong temptation she offered me.

OD


Posted by: BoneCrusher

Quote:
Originally Posted by OceanDude
This is not accurate and a misrepresentation of what my motives were - and I think you know that. I was curious about what I though was a very interesting person I wanted to get to know better (on a friendship basis). we had become good online friends and I had absolutely no idea that she was a sex fiend and had a different motive and agenda than friendship. Actually she had a different semantic for friends (casual non-relational sex) than I that I found to be incompatible. Cheating was never my objective and I backed out of it when the relationship got way out of line and admitted that I made a mistake. It was because I have values, a conscience and a commitment (and integrity) that I did back out and not cave into an extremely strong temptation she offered me.

OD
Translation? When she she saw his mug for the first time she ran for the door ... left skid marks three blocks long ... and won't answer his emails anymore .


Posted by: Prince

Quote:
Originally Posted by OceanDude
This is not accurate and a misrepresentation of what my motives were - and I think you know that. I was curious about what I though was a very interesting person I wanted to get to know better (on a friendship basis). we had become good online friends and I had absolutely no idea that she was a sex fiend and had a different motive and agenda than friendship. Actually she had a different semantic for friends (casual non-relational sex) than I that I found to be incompatible. Cheating was never my objective and I backed out of it when the relationship got way out of line and admitted that I made a mistake. It was because I have values, a conscience and a commitment (and integrity) that I did back out and not cave into an extremely strong temptation she offered me.

OD
Finally I post something that gets you to respond and quote me!

I feel much better now.


Posted by: bulletproof1

damn you 2 just need to go toe to toe for a few rounds. id like to see whos left standing.


Posted by: MaxMirkin

Normally the thought of hitting a woman goes against my very nature, but if I ever found out that my soon-to-be wife was screwing around......


Posted by: BoneCrusher

Quote:
Originally Posted by MaxMirkin
Normally the thought of hitting a woman goes against my very nature, but if I ever found out that my soon-to-be wife was screwing around......
You'd what Max ... hit her? Kick her ass?


Posted by: largepkg

I think he might use the cattle prod!


Posted by: Vieope

That is why relationships donīt work that much, people got all wrong what it really means to care about someone.


Posted by: Prince

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vieope
That is why relationships donīt work that much, people got all wrong what it really means to care about someone.
Relationships fail because of many reasons:

1. people get married and do not "try" anymore, they expect that since they're now married the relationship just takes care of itself.

2. people do not let each other live and do what the other "needs" to do, they want to have control over each other, rather than support one another.

3. people take each other for granted.

4. people fail to realize that they "grow" as people, and that does not mean they grow apart, they need to accept that people inevitably change and this is a good thing that needs to be recognized and accepted.

5. it's easier to quit (break up) than work on a relationship.

6. there are stages in relationships, people need to understand this and recognize, accept and succeed at each stage, however most people like stage one where everything is new, fun and exciting and they want the entire relationship to remain at stage one, which is impossible.

I could go on and on here, I think you get the picture...


Posted by: Vieope


Relationships fails because they are not supposed to exist. It wouldnīt be better to have all the women instead of just one and live in promiscuity for the rest of your life?
That brings up that monogamy thread to my mind.


Posted by: OceanDude

Quote:
Originally Posted by bulletproof1
i think we need to discuss why women (or men for that matter) cheat on their spouse to begin with. i mean we can talk about integrity and ass whoopins all day long. the fact is, if you are taking care of your spouse (in every way, not just sexually,) cheating will not be an option for them. if you are the guy that smacks his wife around, gets off without concern for her pleasure, or tries to "own" her, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. just mho.
BP1 it's pretty easy to figure out why it happens with married couples. Many couples are extremely content with each other. I do not think it always has anything to do with "if they are taking care of each other". I am one of the most "taken care" of guys on the planet with a super loving wife who is attractive, kind, supportive, intelligent, faithful, attentive and fun etc.. I am very proud of her and do everything I can to keep her happy too. But in spite of all this good stuff there is a natural desire for both of us (well mostly me) to want to admire or "look" at someone who is clearly "special" when they walk into the room etc. That is just pure natural superficial biological attraction without knowing anything about the other person ( I just can't ignore a conspicuously classy, intelligent and buff woman). But I think we humans tend to want to idealize others and look for only the good during such encounters. It's usually more the case that the super attractive kind of people are unbalanced in other aspects of their lives or personalities when you get to interact with them (perhaps because they get hit on so much). At any rate, a first glance/look is OK in my book for both spouses since it's almost an automatic human response we can't control - we all love works of art and beauty. The problem is the idealization aspect causes some to fantasize that they can possess that for themselves and are genuinely blinded to the risk that it places on the current "comfortable" relationship. Frankly absent a belief and social system that make it taboo it would appear natural to seek change. But, for such it is usually not an intent to abandon the other spouse so much as it is a desire to have an affinity relationship to this other "super" idealized person. In this sense it is really more of an ego/identity reinforcement issue I think than it is a relational or physical one. There is also the innate human need to want to grow and be exposed to new ideas and concepts and when someone "exotic" or very different to anything you know steps into your life by chance there is an automatic chemistry that kicks in (probably from natural selection and survival of the species programming and a preference for diversity). The only thing that holds this in check are social values, strength of will and a forced conscious recollection of one's current commitments. Some would argue these are artificial constructs invented by various religious organizations to prevent us from murdering each other for the desire to possess other mates (e.g. ref. the covered face/veil in Muslim systems). I won't go there though since I have specific teachings and doctrine I go by.

Of course when there is an severe imbalance in social status, intellect, class, ideals etc. in a marriage (or a lack of growth in same by one) then there is a strong chance that one spouse or the other will eventually be induced to trade up or down (depending on who they think they are and where they belong) and explore other possibilities. Again this seems to be a natural human thing and it also I think relates to identity and ego and who we think we are and what we want others to perceive us to be. In my case, over my life I have met dozens of amazingly fine women (before and during marriage) who I am certain I would have been content and compatible with and just as certainly knew that they felt the same about me. But by convention we can only choose one. We all must make our choices. This does not mean that no unspoken words of approval are not permitted to pass between both interested parties when married to someone else. Smiles and a turned head with a deliberate eye to eye contact can be the most amazing and inticing of compliments. I don't consider this cheating and it adds a zest to life to know another person has a special interest in you when you can keep it in check through personal constraint and on a proper friendship basis (with both knowing there is more perculating just under the surface). Frankly, this is the kind of self control that is a prerequisite for anyone that I would find acceptable as a spouse (or a close friend) and in fact find it an essential part of being what is "attractive" to me.

The other aspect is avoidance. We all have our down days when we are off our mark or our guard is down. If someone is exposing themselves carelessly to temptation (I did this recently but got out of it in time) and you drop your guard or have a temporary setback with your spouse over a minor domestic issue there is a chance for a lapse of judgment and a "cheat situation".

Hmm, I might have to consider if the Mormons are on to something about multiple spouses...

Just my two cents,
OD


Posted by: naturaltan

Quote:
Originally Posted by Robert DiMaggio
all I know is that I am happily married and I would beat the living shit out of you or anyone that tries to get near my wife sexually.

I understand you'd be angry, but if she had gone out on her own accord, then it should be your wife you're angry with, not the other guy.


Posted by: largepkg

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vieope

Relationships fails because they are not supposed to exist. It wouldnīt be better to have all the women instead of just one and live in promiscuity for the rest of your life?
That brings up that monogamy thread to my mind.
V, would you rather have one extremely intimate relationship in which you share every detail about yourself and your soul with and it's reciprocated or 1,000 relationships in which you truly don't get to grasp what those people are all about and vice versa?


Posted by: BabsieGirl

I don't think he cares about the womans mind....

What I get from V......is it's more important to him to "keep things 'alive'" by having affairs. by keeping those "feelings" "alive".....means keeping the relationship alive. (in his eyes.)

I don't agree with this thinking but there are many people out there that do.

personally, I lose all respect for both the men and women who practice this (if they're sneaking behind each others back!)


Posted by: BabsieGirl

Quote:
Originally Posted by naturaltan
I understand you'd be angry, but if she had gone out on her own accord, then it should be your wife you're angry with, not the other guy.

I'd be pissed off at both of them. One, the man she'd have an affair would know she's married (ring mark) and her...well, because she should have morals and respect for both herself and her family.

Both men and women can be "dogs"


Posted by: largepkg

For myself, there is something so powerful when you're with someone who knows every detail about you. A person who knows what you feel, and how you tick. To be with a stranger every other night would leave me feeling empty...


Posted by: BabsieGirl

I have all that you like...but I do get flattered (knowing that I still "got it")...often tempted.....but my faith/morals and concious keep me in check


Posted by: naturaltan

Quote:
Originally Posted by BabsieGirl
I'd be pissed off at both of them. One, the man she'd have an affair would know she's married (ring mark) and her...well, because she should have morals and respect for both herself and her family.

Both men and women can be "dogs"
I'm not saying that the man who knows the lady is married is right by his actions, but I'm just don't agree about 'beating down the guy' for it. If a man raped my wife, then he'd be in for a beat down, but if he were to have a fling with her, I can't say I'd want to beat him down. In today's day and age, there aren't many things worth physically fighting for, and for me, a mutual fling isn't one of them.

BC ... you beat down the guy for sleeping with your wife, I don't agree, but I can understand why. I do give you props for the second guy ... finding out if he knew or not.

For BC, Prince and any others who'd beat down a guy for sleeping with his wife, what if, just what if, the guy you're going to attempt to beat down, kicks the living hell out of you? Is it worth it at that point? Did you get your point across? What is he instead of beating you down, kills you ... then what? If you have children, they are now left without a father because he deemed it necessary to prove a point. I just don't understand.


Posted by: Prince

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vieope
Relationships fails because they are not supposed to exist. It wouldnīt be better to have all the women instead of just one and live in promiscuity for the rest of your life?
huh? what would we have in life and society without relationships?

Absolutely not, having an intimate relationship with a single woman is the greatest thing in the world, and those that do not have it are missing out on something great, and I think deep down they know that.

I would not be where I am at right now in life without the support of my wife, she makes me feel that I can do anything. There is nothing more powerful than having a great woman by your side who loves and supports you.


Posted by: OceanDude

^^^

Ditto on the wife support thing...

OD


Posted by: BabsieGirl

Quote:
Originally Posted by naturaltan
I'm not saying that the man who knows the lady is married is right by his actions, but I'm just don't agree about 'beating down the guy' for it. If a man raped my wife, then he'd be in for a beat down, but if he were to have a fling with her, I can't say I'd want to beat him down. In today's day and age, there aren't many things worth physically fighting for, and for me, a mutual fling isn't one of them.
I see your point. But wouldn't you be pissed to high hell if your woman did that? I'd be furious............

Define mutual...mutual fling between the guy and your wife (agreeing) OR Mutual being....all three are in agreement (you,your wife and some guy?)

Quote:
For BC, Prince and any others who'd beat down a guy for sleeping with his wife, what if, just what if, the guy you're going to attempt to beat down, kicks the living hell out of you? Is it worth it at that point? Did you get your point across? What is he instead of beating you down, kills you ... then what? If you have children, they are now left without a father because he deemed it necessary to prove a point. I just don't understand.
If they beat the hell out of me..............oh well...I know I'd get a peace of him/her...they wouldn't be leaving mark free I can tell ya that. Besides, I know how to pick my battles.

I agree, there comes a time where you need to ask yourself (which is hard to do most times).................is this REALLY worth it? If your woman or man is cheating on you.......they're really not worth fighting over...I mean, look at what they did!!! did they have YOU in mind while they were doing what they were doing??? hell no and if they did......all the worse! They screwed up...time to move on......even though I'd like to kick the crap out of'em.


Posted by: pmech

Quote:
Originally Posted by BabsieGirl
I don't agree with this thinking but there are many people out there that do.

personally, I lose all respect for both the men and women who practice this (if they're sneaking behind each others back!)
I agree and you said it wonderfully.

I lost a whole lot of respect for several today.


Posted by: BabsieGirl

Thanks Pmech. Where's cheeseland?


Posted by: MaxMirkin

Quote:
Originally Posted by BoneCrusher
You'd what Max ... hit her? Kick her ass?
Make her feel every bit of my pain. If she dares do that to me, after all my love & kindness.....shit ain't gonna end well.


Posted by: Vieope

Quote:
Originally Posted by largepkg
V, would you rather have one extremely intimate relationship in which you share every detail about yourself and your soul with and it's reciprocated or 1,000 relationships in which you truly don't get to grasp what those people are all about and vice versa?
Quote:
Originally Posted by BabsieGirl
What I get from V......is it's more important to him to "keep things 'alive'" by having affairs. by keeping those "feelings" "alive".....means keeping the relationship alive. (in his eyes.)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Robert DiMaggio
huh? what would we have in life and society without relationships?

Absolutely not, having an intimate relationship with a single woman is the greatest thing in the world, and those that do not have it are missing out on something great, and I think deep down they know that.

I would not be where I am at right now in life without the support of my wife, she makes me feel that I can do anything. There is nothing more powerful than having a great woman by your side who loves and supports you.
I know, relationships are the most important thing. Deep relationships are even more important as well, it is always nice to have someone that knows your weakness and support you when you need it. The question is, why just one person?
Have you ever had a good best friend? two are even better? three, four, then you create a whole network of support.
I think it is just our society that is derived from the old christian european society that is like that. Although other cultures have marriage they were more liberated.
Why just one woman to share a deep relationship?
Imagine how scary would be if IM just had ALBOB for you to talk to.


Posted by: pmech

Quote:
Originally Posted by BabsieGirl
Thanks Pmech. Where's cheeseland?
Wisconsin

Land of the cheese and not so fresh dairy air.


Posted by: BabsieGirl

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vieope

Why just one woman to share a deep relationship?


You can have "relationships" with more than one women......so long as it's freindship. This doesn't mean crossing the path of a married woman and having an affair.

Quote:
Imagine how scary would be if IM just had ALBOB for you to talk to.
I just don't see the point in this...I do...but then I don't....Know what I mean?

V - I cannot believe you feel this way. I feel sorry for you. What was your upbringing like? Did you witness stuff like this as a child? Where do all of your thoughts stem from? I'm very curious......


Posted by: BabsieGirl

Quote:
Originally Posted by pmech
Wisconsin

Land of the cheese and not so fresh dairy air.



I thought you were referring to "body cheese"


Posted by: pmech

Lol.....


Posted by: naturaltan

Quote:
Originally Posted by BabsieGirl
I see your point. But wouldn't you be pissed to high hell if your woman did that? I'd be furious............

Define mutual...mutual fling between the guy and your wife (agreeing) OR Mutual being....all three are in agreement (you,your wife and some guy?)
mutual meaning, for example, my wife and another man. They both made a choice to do what they did. Would I be upset ... sure I would. But having said that, you make the point later on ... if she chooses such an action, the consequence for that action is not a beat down, but her walking papers.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BabsieGirl
If they beat the hell out of me..............oh well...I know I'd get a peace of him/her...they wouldn't be leaving mark free I can tell ya that. Besides, I know how to pick my battles.

I agree, there comes a time where you need to ask yourself (which is hard to do most times).................is this REALLY worth it? If your woman or man is cheating on you.......they're really not worth fighting over...I mean, look at what they did!!! did they have YOU in mind while they were doing what they were doing??? hell no and if they did......all the worse! They screwed up...time to move on......even though I'd like to kick the crap out of'em.
this is the point I was trying to make. You have to pick your battles. Fighting over someone whom supposedly loved you isn't one of them for me.


Posted by: BabsieGirl

Quote:
Originally Posted by naturaltan
this is the point I was trying to make. You have to pick your battles. Fighting over someone whom supposedly loved you isn't one of them for me.
Oh


Posted by: naturaltan

Quote:
Originally Posted by MaxMirkin
Make her feel every bit of my pain. If she dares do that to me, after all my love & kindness.....shit ain't gonna end well.
hopefully you're joking

This is one thing I'd be willing to die for ... a man hitting a women. I've only seen it once, but acted quickly and decisively .... and would do it again in an instance. BY hitting, I mean inflicting bodily harm ...


Posted by: IainDaniel

Quote:
Originally Posted by BabsieGirl
You can have "relationships" with more than one women......so long as it's freindship. This doesn't mean crossing the path of a married woman and having an affair.



I just don't see the point in this...I do...but then I don't....Know what I mean?

V - I cannot believe you feel this way. I feel sorry for you. What was your upbringing like? Did you witness stuff like this as a child? Where do all of your thoughts stem from? I'm very curious......

I don't understand why you feel sorry for him?

I think he brings up very good points.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vieope
I think it is just our society that is derived from the old christian european society that is like that. Although other cultures have marriage they were more liberated.
Why just one woman to share a deep relationship?
Babs, try to look outside of the box not at the lifestyle you and I live with relationships and marriage. Almost all of the america's culture and beliefs stem from european settlers. Why should we accept this as being right?


Posted by: pmech

Quote:
Originally Posted by naturaltan
hopefully you're joking

This is one thing I'd be willing to die for ... a man hitting a women. I've only seen it once, but acted quickly and decisively .... and would do it again in an instance. BY hitting, I mean inflicting bodily harm ...
^^ Agreed. And that is one of the statements that made me lose respect for someone today. Never an excuse for hitting a woman. It is a cowardly act.


Posted by: BabsieGirl

Quote:
Originally Posted by naturaltan
hopefully you're joking

This is one thing I'd be willing to die for ... a man hitting a women. I've only seen it once, but acted quickly and decisively .... and would do it again in an instance. BY hitting, I mean inflicting bodily harm ...

If a woman hit my man......................................

One of my friends and I had this talk yesterday while walking....I got irritated just talking about it.

if I saw a man hit a woman, I'd send my man over ....and if he didn't.....I'd walk over and ask him how his nuts feel...then kick'em (I'd generally wouldn't do such a thing..)


Posted by: BabsieGirl

Quote:
Originally Posted by IainDaniel
I don't understand why you feel sorry for him?

I think he brings up very good points.



Babs, try to look outside of the box not at the lifestyle you and I live with relationships and marriage. Almost all of the america's culture and beliefs stem from european settlers. Why should we accept this as being right?
True, there are times when he brings up good points....where is the point in this? What's the point in affairs, when all you're doing is starting the begining of an end........................................I never have understood this....If you're cheating because the lack there of in your marriage, then by gawd, COMMUNICATE..........

Because marriage is special and is meant to be shared with the woman/man you're inlove with. Between one man and one woman....................


Okay......Here's a question?

What's the point in having an affair if you're not going to leave your spouse? What's the point in even having an affiar if you're not happy with your marriage - Why not just get out and have a clear concious? What's the use in lying to the "other" person in your life, when you have no intent of leaving your spouse....

How can this action be justified?


Posted by: IainDaniel

Quote:
Originally Posted by IainDaniel
I don't understand why you feel sorry for him?

I think he brings up very good points.



Babs, try to look outside of the box not at the lifestyle you and I live with relationships and marriage. Almost all of the america's culture and beliefs stem from european settlers. Why should we accept this as being right?

Not to often you get to respond to your own quote. But thinking about this a little more. I don't know if multiple relationships could exist in an animal society. Natural Selection: and ideas of survival of the fittest come to mind. Animals ideally would mate with other animals they feel with strengthen there genetic make-up. Knowing this I don't see there to be a reason to want to share with others. It is our instinct to survive. Why would we want to share? Just a few thoughts....


Posted by: ponyboy

Quote:
Originally Posted by BabsieGirl

What's the point in having an affair if you're not going to leave your spouse? What's the point in even having an affiar if you're not happy with your marriage - Why not just get out and have a clear concious? What's the use in lying to the "other" person in your life, when you have no intent of leaving your spouse....

How can this action be justified?
Sometimes I think this can be attributed to women who just want someone to boost their confidence or self esteem. I know a couple of women who had affairs simply because their husbands didn't pay enough attention to them. It's tragic but it happens all the time. It doesn't mean they want to leave their spouse (and kids) but they have someone else who will give them affection and attention.


Posted by: MaxMirkin

Quote:
Originally Posted by pmech
^^ Agreed. And that is one of the statements that made me lose respect for someone today. Never an excuse for hitting a woman. It is a cowardly act.
You wouldn't hit a woman that caused you or your family a grievous injury? What if she stood there with a gun pointing at your loved ones? Or how about just you? Of course you'd hit her.

Well, a wife that repays years of kindness, loyalty, and love with betrayal....it could be argued that from a psychological standpoint she's doing similar type of harm. Like I said, under normal circumstances, I would never even think of it, but in extreme cases....who knows how things can turn out.


Posted by: IainDaniel

Quote:
Originally Posted by BabsieGirl
True, there are times when he brings up good points....where is the point in this? What's the point in affairs, when all you're doing is starting the begining of an end........................................I never have understood this....If you're cheating because the lack there of in your marriage, then by gawd, COMMUNICATE..........

Because marriage is special and is meant to be shared with the woman/man you're inlove with. Between one man and one woman....................
I think V is starting to question Marriage and it's orgins. Why is it the only acceptable way? Don't get me wrong Babs, I agree with you that Marriage should only be between two people. But maybe that is me being influenced by my enviroment.


Quote:
Originally Posted by BabsieGirl
Okay......Here's a question?

What's the point in having an affair if you're not going to leave your spouse?
Again I guess I am stuck on this Science kick, might be Nature. Maybe it is our instinct to spread our seed around. I know a little off topic
Quote:
Originally Posted by BabsieGirl
What's the point in even having an affiar if you're not happy with your marriage - Why not just get out and have a clear concious?
Why does sex have to be confined to just two people within a Marriage? Why does marriage have to restrict sex? Religion?
Quote:
Originally Posted by BabsieGirl
What's the use in lying to the "other" person in your life, when you have no intent of leaving your spouse....How can this action be justified?
This I don't agree with. No relationship should be built on lies. But why can't sex exist outside the sanctity of Marriage, within an open an honest relationship to your spouse.

Just some food for thought. Not that this is the way I feel but questions that I am sure most people have thought about at one time or another


Posted by: BabsieGirl

Quote:
Originally Posted by ponyboy
Sometimes I think this can be attributed to women who just want someone to boost their confidence or self esteem. I know a couple of women who had affairs simply because their husbands didn't pay enough attention to them. It's tragic but it happens all the time. It doesn't mean they want to leave their spouse (and kids) but they have someone else who will give them affection and attention.
Confidence can be boosted by having an affair? So confidence over powers morals and concious? I'm not picking on you...I'm just commenting in general.

No matter what the excuse...I just don't get it

My confidence gets boosted by friends here on IM, when I get hit on, when I get compliments, when I reach another level of education etc...

I actually thought about having an affair (which is as far as I got)....but it would just KILL me and I wouldn't be able to look at my family....There was a point in my relationship where my husband neglected my needs...not talking sexual...but the need to get out away from the kids...to continue dating each other, also doing things with the kids, the need to feel he's interested in my hobbies as I do with his........For the record...He knows how I feel, when I'm feeling it...because I tell him...even if hurts because I feel it's important to let your spouse understand where you're coming from, etc....

I have had plenty of opportunities to have an affair even when I felt neglected and let me tell you...(to be honest).....it's VERY tempting.... This is probably why I have many guy friends....and that's as far as it goes......friendship.

My relationship with my husband is getting better. Our main problem is because he's selfish and self centered. he admits it!


Posted by: largepkg

Sorry Max. Other than in fear of my life or someone I loved could I even consider it. There's no just reason otherwise.

I do see the emotional side of it. I went through it last year. After eleven happy years she clobbered me with her betrayal. Never did I think of striking her, but she was served her walking papers!


Posted by: naturaltan

Quote:
Originally Posted by MaxMirkin
You wouldn't hit a woman that caused you or your family a grievous injury?
nope

Quote:
Originally Posted by MaxMirkin
What if she stood there with a gun pointing at your loved ones? Or how about just you??
Very different situation ... now you're talking about life and death. If there was a chance to hit anyone pointing a gun, yes

Quote:
Originally Posted by MaxMirkin
Well, a wife that repays years of kindness, loyalty, and love with betrayal....it could be argued that from a psychological standpoint she's doing similar type of harm. Like I said, under normal circumstances, I would never even think of it, but in extreme cases....who knows how things can turn out.
You have past experiences that make you think the way you do ... I don't agree, but then again, I don't know what's driven you to these opinions, so I can't nor would I say they are wrong, just that I don't agree.


Posted by: naturaltan

Quote:
Originally Posted by largepkg
Sorry Max. Other than in fear of my life or someone I loved could I even consider it. There's no just reason otherwise.

I do see the emotional side of it. I went through it last year. After eleven happy years she clobbered me with her betrayal. Never did I think of striking her, but she was served her walking papers!
Sorry to hear that large ... but I would have done the same thing. It would have hurt, but he's your walking papers ... don't let the door hit you on your way out.


Posted by: BabsieGirl

Quote:
Originally Posted by IainDaniel
Don't get me wrong Babs, I agree with you that Marriage should only be between two people. But maybe that is me being influenced by my enviroment.
Could be


Quote:
Why does sex have to be confined to just two people within a Marriage? Why does marriage have to restrict sex? Religion?
Religion has nothing to do with it (IMO). Sex isn't just something you do with everyone. It's special. At least to me. (not saying it isn't to you )

Quote:
But why can't sex exist outside the sanctity of Marriage, within an open an honest relationship to your spouse.
Why should it?

I suppose it could (depending on the couple.) But not something I'd agree to myself. I'd get jealous and feel like I wasn't good enough, etc...

Quote:
Just some food for thought. Not that this is the way I feel but questions that I am sure most people have thought about at one time or another
I've thought about it....but cannot bring myself to accept sex outside of marriage. "Wouldn't be prudent!" Sorry...had to say that......


Posted by: IainDaniel

Quote:
Originally Posted by BabsieGirl
Religion has nothing to do with it (IMO). Sex isn't just something you do with everyone. It's special. At least to me. (not saying it isn't to you )
I think you would be suprised that most of our morals and beliefs are derived from religion. Which is why we have such a hard time accepting other parts of the world and their morals and beliefs. oh and it is too me as well


Quote:
Originally Posted by BabsieGirl
Why should it?

I suppose it could (depending on the couple.) But not something I'd agree to myself. I'd get jealous and feel like I wasn't good enough, etc...

I am not saying it should, I am just trying to look at it from another perspective. Sex doesn't define your marriage. The Relationship that exists does.


Quote:
Originally Posted by BabsieGirl
I've thought about it....but cannot bring myself to accept sex outside of marriage. "Wouldn't be prudent!" Sorry...had to say that......
Probably most people couldn't handle it, myself included. That is where natural instincts start to set in and Natural Selection. Although we use sex for pleasure in the most part, it's prime purpose is to create.


Posted by: largepkg

Maybe I'm in the minority here but I've never had a sexual experience that did not have serious emotions involved.

Yes, I had a one night stand once and even then I left part of myself behind.


Posted by: largepkg

My point is sex isn't just sex! At least for me it's not.


Posted by: Vieope

I like the theory of natural selection but I think that sharing is crucial for the system to work. That is why society is needed so much.
Babsie, donīt feel sorry for me, it is not that bad. You just need to look at it from a different angle. Like Ian said, religion ditactes what we usually perceive as the right way to do something. Doesnīt make it right though.


Posted by: BabsieGirl

Quote:
Originally Posted by IainDaniel
I think you would be suprised that most of our morals and beliefs are derived from religion. Which is why we have such a hard time accepting other parts of the world and their morals and beliefs. oh and it is too me as well
I'm sure you're correct. I'm just being blind and nieve right now.

Quote:
Sex doesn't define your marriage. The Relationship that exists does.
Exactly

Quote:
Probably most people couldn't handle it, myself included. That is where natural instincts start to set in and Natural Selection. Although we use sex for pleasure in the most part, it's prime purpose is to create.
You couldn't handle temptation?

I complete agree with the prime purpose part........But I am to please


Posted by: OceanDude

Quote:
Originally Posted by largepkg
Maybe I'm in the minority here but I've never had a sexual experience that did not have serious emotions involved.

Yes, I had a one night stand once and even then I left part of myself behind.
Balls or body fluids?

OD

p.s. sorry couldn't resist


Posted by: largepkg

Quote:
Originally Posted by OceanDude
Balls or body fluids?

OD

1 sec

Both nads are still here.


Posted by: BabsieGirl

Quote:
Originally Posted by largepkg
Yes, I had a one night stand once and even then I left part of myself behind.

Yeah, your boys


Posted by: BabsieGirl

Quote:
Originally Posted by largepkg
My point is sex isn't just sex! At least for me it's not.

Must be a "connection"


Posted by: largepkg

Quote:
Originally Posted by BabsieGirl
Must be a "connection"

Note to self - Never open up emotionally on a message board again.


Posted by: OceanDude

Quote:
Originally Posted by naturaltan
I understand you'd be angry, but if she had gone out on her own accord, then it should be your wife you're angry with, not the other guy.
NT - the application of logic never works in emotional contexts. This apparently irrational behavior is easily explainable by the fact that there are competing social codes that most of us men have ingrained in us culturally: 1) Never hit or abuse a woman and 2) I must protect my family and my own honor and 3) Never mess with another man's happiness. The only logical response given the emotional short circuit and clash of male social codes is to smash the hell out of the guy under the pretext of protecting the family; thus simultaneously giving the woman an opportunity for an out by admiring her man for protecting her and temporarily forgetting the indiscretion. It usually backfires for us though since the woman have their own code and usually seem to favor the person that got hurt in the altercation. Been there dones that - in high school.

OD


Posted by: BabsieGirl

It's all in good humor Large

Quote:
Originally Posted by largepkg
Note to self - Never open up emotionally on a message board again.



Posted by: largepkg

Of course it is... I'm having a blast!


Posted by: naturaltan

Quote:
Originally Posted by OceanDude
NT - the application of logic never works in emotional contexts. This apparently irrational behavior is easily explainable by the fact that there are competing social codes that most of us men have ingrained in us culturally: 1) Never hit or abuse a woman and 2) I must protect my family and my own honor and 3) Never mess with another man's happiness. The only logical response given the emotional short circuit and clash of male social codes is to smash the hell out of the guy under the pretext of protecting the family; thus simultaneously giving the woman an opportunity for an out by admiring her man for protecting her and temporarily forgetting the indiscretion. It usually backfires for us though since the woman have their own code and usually seem to favor the person that got hurt in the altercation. Been there dones that - in high school.

OD
ahh ... the code
Ok ... the would explain the need to beat the hell out of someone ...................... I guess

To each their own ... we all handle situations differently


Posted by: Vieope

Let me add again that I am young, naive and I donīt know much about this life. So my decisions and thoughts maybe are influecend by facts that are just not true. While I am not in nirvana I will go on having fun.


Posted by: Prince

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vieope
Let me add again that I am young, naive and I donīt know much about this life. So my decisions and thoughts maybe are influecend by facts that are just not true.
wow, that is the smartest thing you have posted in this entire thread!


Posted by: Vieope

Quote:
Originally Posted by Robert DiMaggio
wow, that is the smartest thing you have posted in this entire thread!
No reason to get overcheerily because I was trying to be modest.


Posted by: TrojanMan60563

I fucked a friends wife once...It felt so right at the time it happened....but I lost a childhood friend over it, and while their marrige went to hell in a hand basket the girl and I lost touch. So I got to walk away feeling like a scummy asshole, 1 good friendship down the drain, and no chic. Moral of the story is if your going to fuck someones wife make sure your not friends with the guy. Other then that I don't see the problem with it. Its not my fault if some women is married and fucks around on her husband. Obviously he isn't doing his job at home. The only person to blame is her. She invited the dick.


Posted by: RexStunnahH

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vieope
I know, relationships are the most important thing. Deep relationships are even more important as well, it is always nice to have someone that knows your weakness and support you when you need it. The question is, why just one person?
Have you ever had a good best friend? two are even better? three, four, then you create a whole network of support.
I think it is just our society that is derived from the old christian european society that is like that. Although other cultures have marriage they were more liberated.
Why just one woman to share a deep relationship?
Imagine how scary would be if IM just had ALBOB for you to talk to.
I think that if you have more than one love,it wouldn't be as special.You could have a bunch of good freinds,but how many "best Freinds".Through my life I have had many best freinds,but at diffrent time frames of life.Your true love in life should know everything about you,I would find it hard to be able to trust more than one person with all that is sacred to me.I think that when you have a deep love for someone,the love ,respect,and focus is more intense,rather than having a whole bunch of loves that are dilluted.You can only give your 100% to one person.If you got 4,than youd be giving 25% here and there.IT takes someone really close and special to you to be your wife,where as just about any girl could be a fuck.



Posted by: Vieope

Quote:
Originally Posted by RexStunnahH
I think that if you have more than one love,it wouldn't be as special.You could have a bunch of good freinds,but how many "best Freinds".Through my life I have had many best freinds,but at diffrent time frames of life.Your true love in life should know everything about you,I would find it hard to be able to trust more than one person with all that is sacred to me.I think that when you have a deep love for someone,the love ,respect,and focus is more intense,rather than having a whole bunch of loves that are dilluted.You can only give your 100% to one person.If you got 4,than youd be giving 25% here and there.IT takes someone really close and special to you to be your wife,where as just about any girl could be a fuck.
I know what you mean but I am trying to make this mutiple system work for now. I might find someone even more special that will make me be with just one person. It is all good.


Posted by: RexStunnahH

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vieope
I know what you mean but I am trying to make this mutiple system work for now. I might find someone even more special that will make me be with just one person. It is all good.



Posted by: adrien_j9

Hey, Vieope, at least you're honest, and not playing any games! Congrats to you..


Posted by: Vieope

Quote:
Originally Posted by adrien_j9
Hey, Vieope, at least you're honest, and not playing any games! Congrats to you..
Thanks adrien


Posted by: HeywoodJablomey

Fuck it, if they're willing............................


Posted by: BoneCrusher

I get a general feeling from people that the dude is gonna get the smackdown. Max would but the pain on his women as well, and heywouldjeblowme would be the one getting the smackdown. This seems like a normal reaction from one extreme to another. I recall the question of what if you started the beating and got beat or killed instead. Most of the guys in here have spent a very long time on their bodies, so odds are in our favor. Unless we run into another IM member then all bets are off, call the medivac hellicopter .. and step back cuz body parts are gonna fly

It still does not get to the core issue though. Why do some people not end a relationship BEFORE they get their yayas with another person. *In a Doctor Smith Voice* "The pain ... ohhh the pain". I don't and could not. Not hollier than anyone ... just don't want to deal with all the messy aftermath. I hate a polluted lifestyle litered with human emotions and head trips.


Posted by: largepkg

Quote:
Originally Posted by BoneCrusher
I hate a polluted lifestyle litered with human emotions and head trips.

I like this quote very much.


Posted by: MaxMirkin

Quote:
Originally Posted by BoneCrusher
It still does not get to the core issue though. Why do some people not end a relationship BEFORE they get their yayas with another person.
If we were all that strong, life would be a lot easier. But it still doesn't excuse the behavior.

And for the record, if I ever cheated and my wife caught me, I wouldn't even try to resist whatever beating she had in mind for me. Anyway, it would be nothing compared to the emotional pain I would experience at the thought of having caused her such pain.


Posted by: Lurker

Quote:
Originally Posted by BoneCrusher
It still does not get to the core issue though. Why do some people not end a relationship BEFORE they get their yayas with another person. *In a Doctor Smith Voice* "The pain ... ohhh the pain". I don't and could not. Not hollier than anyone ... just don't want to deal with all the messy aftermath. I hate a polluted lifestyle litered with human emotions and head trips.
Having been on both sides of this issue and married for 14+ years I got to say "Marriage does not equal dead".

And there are men out there who are literally patient as hell. There was this guy in college, we were good friends and study partners for 3 years. In my 5-7th years of marriage things were going south quickly and badly. He about freaking pounced when he realized things were so bad the old man wasn't coming home on a regular basis. I take responsibilty for my actions, but if I hadn't been so vulnerable in the first place I wonder if the following months would have even happend. The messy aftermath seemed to happen in order for me and the old man to start getting real with one another.


Posted by: Twigz

I had a rule never to even go after a women that was in a relationship (dating) another man. I had women cheat on me in the past and I hated how it felt, so I decided that I would never do this to another.

Its the whole "do on to others as you want done on to you" idea


Posted by: cman

Quote:
Originally Posted by Robert DiMaggio
assuming I were single...

absolutely not, I would not get involved with a married woman, I have integrity.
Right on. Thats a real man.


Posted by: cman

I have a couple of rules I live by.

1. Never do or say anything, I wouln't do or say if my wife were next to me.
2. Never do or say anything to a woman, I wouln't do or say if her husband were next to her.

3 If I caught a guy, who knew my wife was married, Hitting on her, I would break both of his leg's and tell him next time I won't be so forgiving.


Posted by: gr81

Quote:
I understand you'd be angry, but if she had gone out on her own accord, then it should be your wife you're angry with, not the other guy.
exactly!


Posted by: stu_20_uk

Guilty iv done it - not one of my greatest moments!


Posted by: dg806

Quote: