How bad did I blow it? [Forum Archive]

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How bad did I blow it?

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Posted by: themamasan

I was working out at the gym on July 4th midday. I caught a girl's eye a couple of times, and before I know it she comes and works out beside me at another station. We got started on a conversation, and in the midst of it she says that she saw me working out on the squat machine earlier. I tell her I have been doing upper body for a while and just now started to do legs. She says "Well you look good". I complimented her on her hair ( which is pitch black, short and stylish ). I asked her if she had big plans for July 4th which she replied "no," and that it's hard to meet people in L.A. ( I figured maybe she doesn't have a lot of friends ) I said "I agree". She asked me what I was doing for the 4th, and I replied "hanging out at a friend's house" all the while thinking I much rather go on a date with her ( oh yeah, she has a perfect ten body, beautiful face, a Spanish girl with a sexy as hell accent ). I almost asked her for her phone no. and a possible date, but I figured I would see her again, and if we talked again I would ask her out. So I didn't get her phone no., I have worked out everyday since (twice - weights and cardio ) hoping to run into her. But no luck....and so now I am so pissed at myself.

Sorry for the long post, but just had to vent.

Posted by: Quiller

I'd say you blew your chances of a second shot big time. Why?
Because there shouldn't need to be a next time. That's the BIG MISTAKE.so many guys make....
She made the first move coming to you and starting conversation. All you had to do was say "I've seen you around before, your allright, we should probably hang out sometime". A real casual invitation, nothing to awe struck and keep your power and influence as a man.
By not asking her, you showed her two things.
1) You don't like her
2) Or, If you did like her, you have no balls, no confidence, therefore, she's not interested in you.

There you go, that's why , don't worry about next time. You blew it.
Hold on, let's try something..

You have to restore her impression of you as an individual that is confident and sure of himself. Next time you see her, go over immediately , as if you just saw a best friend. Tell her you had so much on your mind the other day you forgot to give her your email. Tell her and say goodbye. Nothing more, nothing less. Keep it simple. If she emails you, go from there...

Quiller

Posted by: Crono1000

i think you'll get a second chance, but judging from your story you definitly should have asked, leaving a good july 4th memory would have left a great, long lasting impression, otherwise you're just another date

Posted by: Dale Mabry

Sounds to me like you lack dedication in your workout if you have time to start up a conversation with a chick.

But yeah, you blew it.

Posted by: themamasan

Thanks for the advice guys, and if I see her again, I will definitely make up for the last time. Another thing that got me so upset was the fact that I normally have no problem talking to attractive girls and asking them out. But for some reason I wussed out this time. Maybe it was the fact that I thought I will see her again...I don't know. But my job gave me the whole week off for the 4th of July, and I wasted it...nothing exciting and nothing new.

Damn it!!!!

Posted by: Crono1000

at least your hand wasn't lonely for july 4th

Posted by: Quiller

Tell more about that... How successful are you at asking women out, how often do you do it? How do you ask? Let's get your experience to see what happens next...

Posted by: themamasan

Quiller,

Before I moved to L.A. I was fairly successful with women, but wasn't a player at all. Dated a few girls one at a time. I had a relationship with a girl for 2 years before I moved out to L.A. who had supermodel good looks, great personality, we got along great, should have married her, but our career wishes and wanting to move off made us go our seperate ways. I have been out here a few months and haven't really pursued anyone ( being that I am very spoiled as far as intitial attractiveness goes ). I also feel that there are only a select group of girls who like tall guys ( me being 6' 6" ) so I don't usually approach girls unless I get some kind of signal from them. But, if I get approached by a girl I find attractive, and the conversation is good, I always get her number. I ask very casually, "Let's hang out sometime, grab a bite to eat, or go out for drinks." That sort of thing. The big thing is if the girl approaches me...then of course my confidence is at max level, otherwise I am much more hesitant. But I am sure that is true with most guys. I guess since I hadn't had much practice in the last several months, it made me second guess myself. I don't go out to clubs and bars here because you have to take out a loan for cover charges and to buy drinks, which made this opportunity at the gym so much sweeter.

Posted by: Dale Mabry

Quote:

Originally Posted by Quiller

Tell more about that... How successful are you at asking women out, how often do you do it? How do you ask? Let's get your experience to see what happens next...

Hey Maury, the guy fucked up, let it die.