Masturbation preparations [Forum Archive]

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Masturbation preparations

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Posted by: Vieope

What do you usually do before the act?

Posted by: min0 lee

I get a stuffed blue bunny and...............

Posted by: maniclion

Make sure I have the audiences full attention.

Posted by: Crono1000

make sure I have at least 30 seconds to kill

Posted by: Vieope

You guys disgust me, amateurs.

Posted by: min0 lee

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vieope

You guys disgust me, amateurs.

I believe in outsourcing.

Posted by: carlito cool

first i lock my door then turn out the lights and then the magic happens

Posted by: BulkMeUp

I get my paraphernalia ready first. You know, the usual stuff... plastic bag, rope, handcuffs ..etc

Posted by: DiGiTaL

Quote:

I get my paraphernalia ready first. You know, the usual stuff... plastic bag, rope, handcuffs ..etc

lmao ^

Posted by: juggernaut

Quote:

Originally Posted by min0 lee

I believe in outsourcing.

Posted by: Stevens

Look at pictures of muscle-bound women aged 18+.

think of Jodie Marsh.

think of fighting muscle-bound women.

Posted by: ReproMan

All I need is a tissue.

Posted by: A7X

Lock you door ... Grab some porno or have a really sexy thought in you head.

or just get your girlfriend to do it. i mean .. my masterbation has cut down loads

Posted by: MyK

booty call!

Posted by: Lone Rider

Turn on the TV to Martha Stewart.

Posted by: joesmooth20

I make some hot tea and choke myself with a belt

Posted by: LexusGS

go heavy on the cell tech!

Posted by: Burner02

Quote:

Originally Posted by carlito cool

first i lock my door then turn out the lights and then the magic happens

you forgot to lock the door this time...
http://www.nothingtoxic.com/media/11...ght_in_the_Act

Posted by: min0 lee

Quote:

Originally Posted by Burner02

you forgot to lock the door this time...
http://www.nothingtoxic.com/media/11...ght_in_the_Act

Was that boy masterbating to a cartoon???

Posted by: b_reed23

Mino...don't be silly, who would masturbate to a cartoon?? it's a PC game...sheesh

Posted by: the nut

I usually sit on my hand for 10 minutes or so, til it falls asleep. Then i go to town, it feels like someone else is doing it!

Posted by: min0 lee

Quote:

Originally Posted by b_reed23

Mino...don't be silly, who would masturbate to a cartoon?? it's a PC game...sheesh

Posted by: SuperFlex

Quote:

Originally Posted by FatCatMC

All I need is a tissue.

Not me...

Posted by: Detroit_4_Life

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vieope

What do you usually do before the act?

You get wayyyy too much into this type of stuff.

Lotion and a porno... Tissue...

Posted by: Nick+

A whole roll of toilet paper helps.

Posted by: John H.

A small amount of Vaseline Petrolum Jelly works great. Not too much - just enough to allow it to slide easily and allow a lot of friction as well.

Take Care, John H.

Posted by: assassin

lol it doesn't need any special preparations at all , any thing that's available works ...

Posted by: Vieope

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nick+

A whole roll of toilet paper helps.

How man? Do you use that hole? Sick!

Posted by: kenwood

some porn(or a good imagination), a place to sit, ame sure no one's around at the moment and then make the magic happen.

Posted by: Gazhole

I talk dirty to myself in the mirror, then just look out the car windscreen at all the happy couples, and yank my plank.

Posted by: DaMayor

Well, I get Bessie to back up to the stump, and then I.....wait, that's a different act.

South Carolina.....where all the men are men, and all the cows are scared.

Posted by: Little Wing

this thread is hilarious.

Posted by: KataKlysm954

talking about jerking off with a bunch of dudes on a muscle forum thats healthy....

Posted by: DaMayor

Quote:

Originally Posted by KataKlysm954

talking about jerking off with a bunch of dudes on a muscle forum thats healthy....

More like disgusting.

Posted by: bballstud

Well first i run a couple miles and get more sweatier than a tiawana hooker that way my body is nice and sweaty like real the real dead is going on..

not!

Posted by: pitbullguy01

that has to suck

Posted by: DontStop

Haha i dont really need to get ready? i can self lubricate, and be discrete about it lol. If I'm watching porn then maybe I'll sit a certain way, otherwise if it's just on my own, then its just something i do and then roll over and sleep. no cleanup really needed

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