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How to deal with jealousy?


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Posted by: dantbfan713

Im sure, well I feel like I know, this is a very common issue in relationships. I get told all the time, jealousy can easily ruin a relationship.

Well ive been with my girlfriend for 15 months and I still get super jealous all the time. I know sometimes its normal to be jealous, but I have trouble controlling it and I take it out on her (never physical hitting ofcourse, but just arguing, and a lot of threatning of breaking up.) I know its not good and im trying to control it, but its just so hard for me.

I love her to death, but things seem to keep reappearing. First 7 months ago I peeked on her phone while she was taking a shower and found she was talking with an exboyfriend somewhat late at night (10/11 pm) and I absolutly flipped and after a short break up we got back together. She deleted him off her phone and said she wont ever do that again, and since then I have checked her phone twice and pretty much everything was deleted, so clearly shes deleting this stuff pretty regularly, which with my dumbass thinking, makes me believe there is stuff going on.

then about 4 months ago, she said a co worker asked her out and she told him, no she has a boyfriend. That same say she told me and I was like alright well thats good and hopefully she gets left alone by him now. Then after prying and prying because I sensed it wasnt over I found out he asked her out again, and according to her was a complete asshole, party type guy and slipped her his number and told her to forget about me and come out with him and his friends one night. Ofcourse she skipped it, and claimed she tossed out his number. So im thinking everything is going fine and a few days later out of the blue she says she wants to confess because she doesnt feel right holding it inside, that she told him that maybe they could get lunch one day if they have the same lunch together but thats it never anything after work and again I flipped out. but she said that she just said that and that she never would have actually gone. So again im like ok whatever, still thinking the worst as shes promising nothing it going on anymore. This went away right after that and has never been brought up again.

Now, this is probably harmless, but me being me, I cant help but have that nervious feeling in the pit of my stomach. So last week I found her password for her myspace thingy, and checked her inbox the other night and she emailed some old guy friend from high school and was just saying whats up, and had nothing bad at all. Then his reply was they should do something this summer, and her reply was yea and that they definatly should do something before summer ends and she'll call him next time shes in the city (she lives in the suburbs now) so now she doesnt know I know this, but even though there are no signs of anything wrong or anything other than 2 old friends catching back up, I have this bad, sick feeling inside thats eating away at me.

Yes maybe this or any of it isnt a big deal and maybe they'll just grab something to eat, maybe they'll go out with a group of old friends, I dont know but it has me ragining like im a wounded animal ready to snap at anyone or anything and this is not the way to live. I really dont want to break up with her though because when there is none of this and we spend time together (which is quite a bit) I have a great time and im never happier.

So im asking and begging what can I do to control jealousy and to not get so worked up over everything including the little things?

ive tried talking to her about this, but shes just cries and tells me shed never cheat and that she hates that I think the worst all the time and that shed never leave me. Then I end up feeling horrible and love her even more, but then as soon as a situation arrives I get that feeling inside like im being stabbed even though more than likly nothing could be happening.

I know I must sound like an absolute asshole, and im probably going to hell for invading her private stuff, but in realisty I wish you all really knew me. Im probably the nicest person youd ever meet. Im pretty much just a "goodguy" no drugs, hardly drinks, respects pretty much everyone, but just for some odd reason, when it comes to this jealousy and her with any other guys, I feel a whole different demention like the world is caving in on me.


Posted by: clemson357

Sometimes you have to trust you instincts. If she is deleting the call record out of her phone on a regular basis, something is up. There is no reason for that.


Posted by: TJ Cline

I would tell her right now to run for her life from you


Posted by: JOHNYORK

you have to make a decision if its worth being with this girl that for whatever reasons you have you feel the need too constantly check up on her. u shouldnt sacrifice your own happiness and peaceful state of mind for any girl or anyone for that matter even if she was ure wife.


Posted by: Jodi

WTF? You have control issues and anger management problems. She has confessed to you her discussion with her co-worker. This should be proof that when she feels guilty she wants to talk to you. How the hell can one be so sneaky to impose up her personal belongings such as her phone and email. She could have you arrested for shit like that. Second of all, that is completey uncalled for and disrespectful and you consider dumping her? Too bad she wasn't on this board because I would tell her right now to run for her life from you. Your anger will get worse as you age and in time you will be hitting her. You say right now, No I won't, but every abusive man said that at some point. You need help!


Posted by: MWpro

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jodi
WTF? You have control issues and anger management problems. She has confessed to you her discussion with her co-worker. This should be proof that when she feels guilty she wants to talk to you. How the hell can one be so sneaky to impose up her personal belongings such as her phone and email. She could have you arrested for shit like that. Second of all, that is completey uncalled for and disrespectful and you consider dumping her? Too bad she wasn't on this board because I would tell her right now to run for her life from you. Your anger will get worse as you age and in time you will be hitting her. You say right now, No I won't, but every abusive man said that at some point. You need help!
Arrested for using her myspace password... I would love to see that happen...

In time he will be hitting her? I think that is such an unfair assumption to make. He is jealous, and asking what to do and how to deal with it... this does not mean he is going to be a "woman beater."


Posted by: dantbfan713

Quote:
Originally Posted by MWpro
Arrested for using her myspace password... I would love to see that happen...

In time he will be hitting her? I think that is such an unfair assumption to make. He is jealous, and asking what to do and how to deal with it... this does not mean he is going to be a "woman beater."
yea seriously, and plus she was in my house when I checked her phone and myspace. its not like I broke into her house and took her phone.

and No i will never hit a women. ever.


Posted by: JOHNYORK

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jodi
WTF? You have control issues and anger management problems. She has confessed to you her discussion with her co-worker. This should be proof that when she feels guilty she wants to talk to you. How the hell can one be so sneaky to impose up her personal belongings such as her phone and email. She could have you arrested for shit like that. Second of all, that is completey uncalled for and disrespectful and you consider dumping her? Too bad she wasn't on this board because I would tell her right now to run for her life from you. Your anger will get worse as you age and in time you will be hitting her. You say right now, No I won't, but every abusive man said that at some point. You need help!
damn girl chill out eat a bag of cheetoes or sum shit.... dudes in a long term relationship and needs to know if this girl is fuking with him he checked her myspace after she told him she just accepted an invitation to lunch with an "asshole" and found she was talking with sum guy she knew in high school saying they should meet up for the summer. i bet she didnt tell this dude she ahd a b/f either.


Posted by: MyK

she clearly fucks every dick in sight!

poor little chicky! listen dude, you obviously have some inner self esteem issues and cant handle trust! your fucked in the head! now, dump this chick before you cause her anymore psychological pain, and go get counciling!!!


Posted by: Rocco32

Your definately not mature enough for a relationship with anyone clearly. All of her problems aside, you need to have trust in a serious relationship. You obviously don't trust her and your checking up on her with no reasons then jumping to conclusions. She has her own life man....her life doesn't revolve around you, get used to it. You need to trust and give up some control. Right now I feel sorry for this girl and hope she breaks it off with you. JMO.


Posted by: Jodi

Quote:
Originally Posted by MWpro
Arrested for using her myspace password... I would love to see that happen...

In time he will be hitting her? I think that is such an unfair assumption to make. He is jealous, and asking what to do and how to deal with it... this does not mean he is going to be a "woman beater."
Ever heard of invasion of privacy? Email, password use without permission etc...

It is statically proven that men that develop control and jealousy issues at an early age turn into women beaters. Unless he seeks help now it won't be a matter of if he beats women as to when he beats women.

Rocco - you are right on the money IMO.


Posted by: dantbfan713

some of you are bogus as hell.

Yea im going to turn into a wife beater all a sudden because I check her phone and myspace. Put the crack pipe down lady.

And I dont think I have control issues, I have a feeling shes messing around and rather than put all my trust into believing shes not and getting hurt later, id rather pry and try to find out so that i can get out if this does happen to be the case.

women beater...wow


Posted by: NeilPearson

You are jealous but she has given you reason for it too.

I think you both are too young to be in a serious relationship. If I was you, I would quit caring what she does. She is going to do what she wants to do. You can't change that... let her do it and choose not to care. Of course, if she is doing what she wants to do, this means you can do what you want to do to. Let her talk to ex-boyfriends and go for lunch with other guys. Who cares... you should do the same.

Go out, have fun, date a bunch of women and don't get exclusive or serious with any of them. Experience life and a bunch of girls. Just date a bunch of them. Don't give them the impression that you are in a 'relationship' or that you are looking for a relationship.

She is obviously young and interested in exploring other guys. This is normal at that age. It is just what girls do. Don't expect young girls to settle down and be all serious... it just doesn't work long term. Eventually it will come to an end and she will have to go through her stage. The same goes for you. You should not be trying to settle down with one girls at your age.

You broke up with her for talking to an ex-boyfriend late at night. Fine you know that she is like that and that is what she does. You have caught her on a couple things. I can gaurantee she got away with more things that you didn't catch. After breaking up for this, you will never trust her again.... so don't have a serious relationship with her. It's ridiculous. Sure keep her as a booty call or go out with her and have fun but don't ever assume she is being exclusive with you. And you don't have to be exclusive with her. Don't ask what she does when not with you, don't try and find out... just choose not to care and have fun when you can - you're not going to marry this girl or anything.

And never, ever get serious with a girl that has a MySpace page...


Posted by: NeilPearson

Quote:
Originally Posted by dantbfan713
some of you are bogus as hell.

Yea im going to turn into a wife beater all a sudden because I check her phone and myspace. Put the crack pipe down lady.

And I dont think I have control issues, I have a feeling shes messing around and rather than put all my trust into believing shes not and getting hurt later, id rather pry and try to find out so that i can get out if this does happen to be the case.

women beater...wow
There is no reason to be serious and exclusive with a girl you don't fully trust.


Posted by: dantbfan713

see the thing thats gets me is that i get long talks, and crying at night sometimes when we argue so i know she really cares, and she tells me all the time im the one she wants to marry, live and have a family with and I feel the same. I guess im just so terrified of being cheated on that I dont let my guard down long enough to allow myself to trust her. Im definatly going to work on it because I have dated around and i have not always been this jealous. I guess Im just scared of losing the one i feel i really want. Basically like I said before im scared to let my guard down because I feel once I finally start to completly trust her, thats when something bad is bound to happen.


Posted by: NeilPearson

Quote:
Originally Posted by dantbfan713
see the thing thats gets me is that i get long talks, and crying at night sometimes when we argue so i know she really cares, and she tells me all the time im the one she wants to marry, live and have a family with and I feel the same. I guess im just so terrified of being cheated on that I dont let my guard down long enough to allow myself to trust her. Im definatly going to work on it because I have dated around and i have not always been this jealous. I guess Im just scared of losing the one i feel i really want. Basically like I said before im scared to let my guard down because I feel once I finally start to completly trust her, thats when something bad is bound to happen.
How old are you?


Posted by: dantbfan713

another thing that scares me is that she hardly has any female friends, almost all her friends are guys, so that is kinda blah from the start. Secondly she drinks when she goes out and I know how she gets. its funny though, she hardly drinks when its just us or if I go out with her and her friends, heck not even hardly...never drinks, but when she goes out with family or anything, she'll have a few drinks, and if she goes out with friends she has more than a few. So now I tend to get aggrivated before she even goes out (i start to get nervious when it gets first brought up that shes going out) I guess I just feel that I dont go out and drink with all my guy/girl friends and make her uncomfortable and sit at home being nervious, but she doesnt comprehend that it hurts sometimes when she does it to me.

I know people are going to say go out with my friends when she goes with hers, but im just not into that scene. Im more of a single date, dinner and movie type guy. I was never into the getting piss drunk until you pass out thing which most of my friends do. Other than that they play basketball, but thats always mid afternoon and im home by the time my gf is ready to go out for her thing.


Posted by: dantbfan713

Quote:
Originally Posted by NeilPearson
How old are you?
Im 20, shes 22.


Posted by: NeilPearson

Quote:
Originally Posted by dantbfan713
Im 20, shes 22.
Marriage should be the last thing on your mind.

You can go out now, have fun and date a lot of women or you can do it after your divorce... your choice.


Posted by: MWpro

Quote:
Originally Posted by NeilPearson
You can go out now, have fun and date a lot of women or you can do it after your divorce... your choice.
That is a great way to put it.


Posted by: ReproMan

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jodi
WTF? You have control issues and anger management problems. She has confessed to you her discussion with her co-worker. This should be proof that when she feels guilty she wants to talk to you. How the hell can one be so sneaky to impose up her personal belongings such as her phone and email. She could have you arrested for shit like that. Second of all, that is completey uncalled for and disrespectful and you consider dumping her? Too bad she wasn't on this board because I would tell her right now to run for her life from you. Your anger will get worse as you age and in time you will be hitting her. You say right now, No I won't, but every abusive man said that at some point. You need help!

Ya know, for once I'm gonna agree with Jodi. I've been on both sides of this coin and neither are fun. You need help dude.


Posted by: NeilPearson

Quote:
Originally Posted by dantbfan713
another thing that scares me is that she hardly has any female friends, almost all her friends are guys, so that is kinda blah from the start. Secondly she drinks when she goes out and I know how she gets. its funny though, she hardly drinks when its just us or if I go out with her and her friends, heck not even hardly...never drinks, but when she goes out with family or anything, she'll have a few drinks, and if she goes out with friends she has more than a few. So now I tend to get aggrivated before she even goes out (i start to get nervious when it gets first brought up that shes going out) I guess I just feel that I dont go out and drink with all my guy/girl friends and make her uncomfortable and sit at home being nervious, but she doesnt comprehend that it hurts sometimes when she does it to me.

I know people are going to say go out with my friends when she goes with hers, but im just not into that scene. Im more of a single date, dinner and movie type guy. I was never into the getting piss drunk until you pass out thing which most of my friends do. Other than that they play basketball, but thats always mid afternoon and im home by the time my gf is ready to go out for her thing.
There is only one reason for anyone to go out drinking at a dance club. It is to meet and flirt with people of the opposite sex... pretty much the same reason people have MySpace accounts.

The more you say, the more it is obvious that neither of you are ready to be in a serious, monogamous relationship.


Posted by: Jodi

Quote:
Originally Posted by NeilPearson
There is only one reason for anyone to go out drinking at a dance club. It is to meet and flirt with people of the opposite sex... pretty much the same reason people have MySpace accounts.

The more you say, the more it is obvious that neither of you are ready to be in a serious, monogamous relationship.
That's such bullshit! In the past I would go to plenty of clubs and drink and my boyfriend with me. We would go out and have fun together or I would go out with my sisters or other friends. It's not always about sex and just because you are a guy and think not much else, many girls are not out looking to hook up when they go out.

OMG the mentality of the men on this board is fucking aggravating You all need a life and you all need to grow the fuck up.


Posted by: clemson357

Quote:
Originally Posted by dantbfan713
some of you are bogus as hell.

Yea im going to turn into a wife beater all a sudden because I check her phone and myspace. Put the crack pipe down lady.

And I dont think I have control issues, I have a feeling shes messing around and rather than put all my trust into believing shes not and getting hurt later, id rather pry and try to find out so that i can get out if this does happen to be the case.

women beater...wow
Dude, all you have to do is look at American divorce rates to figure out why you are getting such shitty advise on this forum. Checking her phone maybe a little over the line, and checking her myspace definitely is, but you have reason to be suspicious based on her history (which you would be clueless to if it were up to Jodi). "All is fair in love and war," and checking up on someone doesn't make you a psycho. Cheating is prevelant in America, and if you don't want to look like a fool you need to be inquisitive.


In all honesty, just take your emotions out of the equation. What would you think if your buddy told you he caught his girl talking with her ex on a regular basis, and that since then her phone records are always deleted. Something is up.


Posted by: maniclion

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jodi
That's such bullshit! In the past I would go to plenty of clubs and drink and my boyfriend with me. We would go out and have fun together or I would go out with my sisters or other friends. It's not always about sex and just because you are a guy and think not much else, many girls are not out looking to hook up when they go out.

OMG the mentality of the men on this board is fucking aggravating You all need a life and you all need to grow the fuck up.
I'm only 3 years old, what do you expect?


Posted by: NeilPearson

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jodi
That's such bullshit! In the past I would go to plenty of clubs and drink and my boyfriend with me. We would go out and have fun together or I would go out with my sisters or other friends. It's not always about sex and just because you are a guy and think not much else, many girls are not out looking to hook up when they go out.

OMG the mentality of the men on this board is fucking aggravating You all need a life and you all need to grow the fuck up.
I never claimed it was about sex and I never suggested all girls go out to hook up. I think I used the word 'flirting'. There is a big difference. Please don't put words in my mouth.

You are telling me that when you and a group of girls go out to a night club, there is no flirting going on.

Come on, I've been to nightclubs. I know what they are all about. I see the girls letting guys buy them drinks and then doing some dancing... single ones may hook up... hell, married ones might hook up... but there is always flirting on some level going on from everyone whether they are single, married or whatever.

We all know, going to a club is much more fun with your friends than with your significant other... there is a reason for that.


Posted by: JordanMang

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jodi
Ever heard of invasion of privacy? Email, password use without permission etc...

It is statically proven that men that develop control and jealousy issues at an early age turn into women beaters. Unless he seeks help now it won't be a matter of if he beats women as to when he beats women.

Rocco - you are right on the money IMO.
Everytime I read one of your post I don't know whether to cry or laugh. Your views on men are completely unfounded. Theirs obviously something going on with you ( maybe past experiences ) that we don't know about. For you to say that a man just because he has control and jealousy issues he'll become a wife-beater is redeculous. You're acting like he's a ticking time bomb. He's just your average man with no out of the ordinary feelings. I don't think this is really a subject that a woman can understand ( no offense to you. ).


Posted by: NeilPearson

Quote:
Originally Posted by JordanMang
Everytime I read one of your post I don't know whether to cry or laugh. Your views on men are completely unfounded. Theirs obviously something going on with you ( maybe past experiences ) that we don't know about. For you to say that a man just because he has control and jealousy issues he'll become a wife-beater is redeculous. You're acting like he's a ticking time bomb. He's just your average man with no out of the ordinary feelings. I don't think this is really a subject that a woman can understand ( no offense to you. ).



Posted by: myCATpowerlifts

Hurry Boy! Seek help, you are on the verge of slaughtering her!
You wife beater! Damnit all!


Posted by: maniclion

You're the same guy who won't go down on his girl cause it tastes nasty. That would explain why she's looking at other options...


Posted by: dantbfan713

Quote:
Originally Posted by maniclion
You're the same guy who won't go down on his girl cause it tastes nasty. That would explain why she's looking at other options...
I knew that would get brought up

But i dont think thats the case....


Posted by: Jodi

Quote:
Originally Posted by JordanMang
Everytime I read one of your post I don't know whether to cry or laugh. Your views on men are completely unfounded. Theirs obviously something going on with you ( maybe past experiences ) that we don't know about. For you to say that a man just because he has control and jealousy issues he'll become a wife-beater is redeculous. You're acting like he's a ticking time bomb. He's just your average man with no out of the ordinary feelings. I don't think this is really a subject that a woman can understand ( no offense to you. ).
Didnt I warn you that you were never to speak of my personal life?

I have a great life and nothing is going on with me. I am in a very healthy and happy relationship. It is the rest of you that have issues. The way you treat women is fucking disgusting! You dont think I can understand this? You are but a mere child, it is you that does not understand.


Posted by: joesmooth20

dude, your not going to end up marrying the first chick you've ever banged! Also from your previous posts she has a stank crotch, that's just gross and could be from random sex and infections. All I can say is start being more of a alpha male type of guy and you won't have some hussy walking all over you. The phone shit and myspace shit will never stop with her, she's young and obviously doesn't respect you. Cash in your chips pal and move on. Maybe work on putting the anger into the gym instead of letting it get the best of you.

If you make things clear from the get go in your next relationship, you won't need any help. There's certain things that are ok and not ok, it's not just a jealousy thing it's more of a respect for each other. If she knows this stuff makes you mad and still continous to do it, well that shows you right there that she doesn't care about your feelings and knows that she can do it because your a pushover in her eyes.

Every guy I've ever met has had shit like this happen to them atleast once. This is your once man, don't let it repeat itself.


Posted by: Jodi

Quote:
Originally Posted by maniclion
You're the same guy who won't go down on his girl cause it tastes nasty. That would explain why she's looking at other options...



Posted by: JOHNYORK

Quote:
Originally Posted by joesmooth20
dude, your not going to end up marrying the first chick you've ever banged! Also from your previous posts she has a stank crotch, that's just gross and could be from random sex and infections. All I can say is start being more of a alpha male type of guy and you won't have some hussy walking all over you. The phone shit and myspace shit will never stop with her, she's young and obviously doesn't respect you. Cash in your chips pal and move on. Maybe work on putting the anger into the gym instead of letting it get the best of you.

If you make things clear from the get go in your next relationship, you won't need any help. There's certain things that are ok and not ok, it's not just a jealousy thing it's more of a respect for each other. If she knows this stuff makes you mad and still continous to do it, well that shows you right there that she doesn't care about your feelings and knows that she can do it because your a pushover in her eyes.

Every guy I've ever met has had shit like this happen to them atleast once. This is your once man, don't let it repeat itself.

agreed


Posted by: JordanMang

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jodi
Didnt I warn you that you were never to speak of my personal life?

I have a great life and nothing is going on with me. I am in a very healthy and happy relationship. It is the rest of you that have issues. The way you treat women is fucking disgusting! You dont think I can understand this? You are but a mere child, it is you that does not understand.

I'm not a child. Infact I'd go so far as to say that I know more about this subject ( and serveral others ) then you do. You can't accept because I'm a young that I might know more then you. It's a typical sort of thing that I get a lot; so I'm not offended. I'll take it as a compliment. It kind of speaks volumes though when older members agree with me on most of the points I make.


Posted by: Jodi

Yeah who are all a bunch of kids like you and or men. Props to you

It's quite clear that you don't know as much as you think you do.


Posted by: TJ Cline

Quote:
Originally Posted by JordanMang
I'm not a child. Infact I'd go so far as to say that I know more about this subject ( and serveral others ) then you do. You can't accept because I'm a young that I might know more then you. It's a typical sort of thing that I get a lot; so I'm not offended. I'll take it as a compliment. It kind of speaks volumes though when older members agree with me on most of the points I make.



Son, Jodi has forgot more than you will ever know


Posted by: clemson357

Jodi, you really seem like you have some issues with men. Compared to what goes on in a lot of relationships, checking someone's phone or myspace is not that bad. I would hardly say that "the way he treats women is fucking disgusting."

I read somewhere that the difference between cheating men and cheating women was that while men cheat more often, they do feel guilt, while women feel entitled to their extramarital affair. Perhaps you have an issue with someone checking your phone because you feel you are entitled to do whatever you want. But ask yourself one question, does that work both ways in your relationship? If you knew your man had a history decieving you, you wouldn't ever try to check up on him?

You have already said that you wouldn't want to be asked about your sex history, and the thought of your man checking your phone obviously infuriates you. Is he allowed to even ask you where you have been? If you say you are going out, is he allowed to ask who you are going with? If you are sitting on the couch, talking on the phone, is he allowed to ask who you are talking to? It just seems to me you are hyper-sensative about it.


Posted by: Jodi

Quote:
Originally Posted by clemson357
Jodi, you really seem like you have some issues with men. Compared to what goes on in a lot of relationships, checking someone's phone or myspace is not that bad. I would hardly say that "the way he treats women is fucking disgusting."
Nope, I have no issues with men. I just think that if a relationship isn't based off of trust and love than what is the point of a relationship. If you have to check someones belongings, or question them, check their phone log or myspace account, then you obviously don't trust them and you shouldn't be with them.

Quote:
I read somewhere that the difference between cheating men and cheating women was that while men cheat more often, they do feel guilt, while women feel entitled to their extramarital affair. Perhaps you have an issue with someone checking your phone because you feel you are entitled to do whatever you want. But ask yourself one question, does that work both ways in your relationship? If you knew your man had a history decieving you, you wouldn't ever try to check up on him?
I am entitled to do what I want but within reason. Dante is fully aware of my friendship with other men, he knows I go out with them too and he will never have any reason to doubt me and I am the same with him. I don't question him and he has no reason to have to explain himself to me, he can do what he wants.....of course this all goes within reason and keeping a good trusting and healthy relationship.

He can ask me whatever he wants but how someone is being asked is what makes the difference.

I wouldn't ever be with a man who has a history of deceiving me or anyone else for that matter. I won't be with them. Trust is number one and if I can't trust them, then I don't want to be with them.


Posted by: Trouble

Jesu, why I never like to come into the chat room.

Like Foreman said, Jodi has her act together. She has a healthy respect for men and doesn't tolerate this alpha male bullshit.

You alpha fuckchops had better learn that in order for a relationship to be get past the fuck me for fun and profit stage (lust), you must have respect, trust and honor the for the word and actions of the person you regard as your significant other, whether they are man or woman. Without it, you have nothing to keep you together when the going gets tough. And it does, in everyones life. No glue, its a house of cards just waiting to come down on your head.

Dan, you broke rules of respect by violating her privacy. If she gets a call from the old boyfriend, or from a classmate from her past, you have to trust her that she is not going to fuck him. Just as she has to trust that when she is not with you, you are to screwing some girl who you may find attactive.

What you have are self-esteem issues, and I'll bet my nickel that its coupled to respect issues for women, that arise from your past, potentially from role model influences (your parents most likely, but also peers as well).

Either you find a counselor to help you deal with these issues (alone or with your gf), or you let this girl go. Someone said she should run far away from you; I would tell her to put your at arms length until you can find the balls to get your kester into counseling. If you have anger issues, it can and may well erupt into violence some day if these feelings of mistrust and control aren't addressed, and soon.

If you feel that she is being unfair, then bring it up with her, in front of the counselor and see that the counselor advises. I think you'll find that if you tend to this problem on your side of the fence, that life will be a lot less stressful.

Be thankful that this girl relates well to men; it has a lot to do with why you are with her. Chances are, she'll be more understanding and tolerant than a woman (or girl) who relates poorly to men.

Jordan, you are a kid and have a kids experience with the opposite sex. Keep your face out of this one. I'm likely to push your face into the crap you spew, and you're not going to like it. You're just like Dan, you got this little testosterone fueled song and dance going to prove yourself because of shitty self esteem. Could be an age thing, but it smacks of parody of your addled elders here you think the caveman routine will fly these days.


Posted by: PreMier

Quote:
Originally Posted by NeilPearson
You are jealous but she has given you reason for it too.

I think you both are too young to be in a serious relationship. If I was you, I would quit caring what she does. She is going to do what she wants to do. You can't change that... let her do it and choose not to care. Of course, if she is doing what she wants to do, this means you can do what you want to do to. Let her talk to ex-boyfriends and go for lunch with other guys. Who cares... you should do the same.

Go out, have fun, date a bunch of women and don't get exclusive or serious with any of them. Experience life and a bunch of girls. Just date a bunch of them. Don't give them the impression that you are in a 'relationship' or that you are looking for a relationship.

She is obviously young and interested in exploring other guys. This is normal at that age. It is just what girls do. Don't expect young girls to settle down and be all serious... it just doesn't work long term. Eventually it will come to an end and she will have to go through her stage. The same goes for you. You should not be trying to settle down with one girls at your age.

You broke up with her for talking to an ex-boyfriend late at night. Fine you know that she is like that and that is what she does. You have caught her on a couple things. I can gaurantee she got away with more things that you didn't catch. After breaking up for this, you will never trust her again.... so don't have a serious relationship with her. It's ridiculous. Sure keep her as a booty call or go out with her and have fun but don't ever assume she is being exclusive with you. And you don't have to be exclusive with her. Don't ask what she does when not with you, don't try and find out... just choose not to care and have fun when you can - you're not going to marry this girl or anything.

And never, ever get serious with a girl that has a MySpace page...
This is so true IMO. Myspace is the new "hookup" site. I was reading in a magazine that this is the first year since 2000 that dating sites have lost money. Why? because myspace is free. I hate myspace

Ok rant over.

To the original poster, you need to figure out if this girl is the one you want to be with. Is she your first girlfriend(sexually)? Are you hers? And why are you guys going out without each other? When I was with my X, the deal was no going to the bar without one another.. but we also lived together so thats another story.


Posted by: SportinStyle

Just from random viewings - not on a day to day basis - I do find it laughable how Jodi does tend to mock men on this forum (the Sexual that is). She targets their shortcomings (No Pun Intented), their age, and seems to honestly believe she is God, reincarnated in some sort of warrior/amazon woman body. Just because you could probably take me, doesn't mean that your opinions are always right. There is no discussion going on here, just you trying to approve and bolster your womanistic views.

You, being a "Super Moderator", should know very well that is not the correct way to run and contribute to a social forum, such as this. These men and women don't come on here and essentially promote your site, to hear about your personal life and obvious struggle to cope with this strange sense; That for once, maybe a man is admiting that he's weak and asking for a helping hand.


Posted by: Jodi

Amazon Warrior body

Yeah I'm so huge and masculine it's just disgusting

I have a women with a strong opinion. You seem to feel threated by this. Too bad, it's my opinion and I will express my opinion where and when I choose.

Why is it that the men can have an opinion but as soon as a women speaks up she get's flamed left and right? Typical male dominance bullshit which means fuck all to me......


Posted by: min0 lee

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jodi
Amazon Warrior body

Yeah I'm so huge and masculine it's just disgusting

I have a women with a strong opinion. You seem to feel threated by this. Too bad, it's my opinion and I will express my opinion where and when I choose.

Why is it that the men can have an opinion but as soon as a women speaks up she get's flamed left and right? Typical male dominance bullshit which means fuck all to me......
I started a thread about that a while back. I really don't think some men like to hear a womans opinion.


Posted by: MyK

Quote:
Originally Posted by min0 lee
I started a thread about that a while back. I really don't think some men like to hear a womans opinion.
shut it woman!







Posted by: JordanMang

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jodi
Amazon Warrior body

Yeah I'm so huge and masculine it's just disgusting

I have a women with a strong opinion. You seem to feel threated by this. Too bad, it's my opinion and I will express my opinion where and when I choose.

Why is it that the men can have an opinion but as soon as a women speaks up she get's flamed left and right? Typical male dominance bullshit which means fuck all to me......
Stop confusing fear with pity. No one is threatened by you; God your narcissistic views are only hurting yourself, and not us.


Posted by: SportinStyle

I was simply stating you're quick to jump on this guy - who obviously needs help.

Woman for President!


Posted by: Jodi

Quote:
Originally Posted by JordanMang
Stop confusing fear with pity. No one is threatened by you; God your narcissistic views are only hurting yourself, and not us.
I'm not trying to threaten anyone or be threatening. I have a point of view and I'm going to express and if you don't like hearing then don't read it and STFU.

Hurting me? No, that is not true as I have nothing to gain or lose from posting my opinion. I could care less what everyone thinks of me. I have my friends here and they are great friends. I have helped many many people on this forum and they appreciate the help I've provided.. Everyone here knows me and is use to my forwardness, openess and bluntness. Seeing you are always so quick to post on my opinions, then it is you whom I pity.


Posted by: Jodi

Quote:
Like Foreman said, Jodi has her act together. She has a healthy respect for men and doesn't tolerate this alpha male bullshit.

You alpha fuckchops had better learn that in order for a relationship to be get past the fuck me for fun and profit stage (lust), you must have respect, trust and honor the for the word and actions of the person you regard as your significant other, whether they are man or woman. Without it, you have nothing to keep you together when the going gets tough. And it does, in everyones life. No glue, its a house of cards just waiting to come down on your head.
You can say that again!


Posted by: JordanMang

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jodi
I'm not trying to threaten anyone or be threatening. I have a point of view and I'm going to express and if you don't like hearing then don't read it and STFU.

Hurting me? No, that is not true as I have nothing to gain or lose from posting my opinion. I could care less what everyone thinks of me. I have my friends here and they are great friends. I have helped many many people on this forum and they appreciate the help I've provided.. Everyone here knows me and is use to my forwardness, openess and bluntness. Seeing you are always so quick to post on my opinions, then it is you whom I pity.

I just think you have a lot of misconstrued views on men. Your morales I won't argue ( their better then mine ), but I think your experience is with a little bit older generation and so you have different views. I personally treat women with the utmost respect. I feel attacked when any woman on here calls me an "alpha fuckchop", but I won't judge. I've never cursed or used vulgar language towards anyone woman on these forums, and I've never said anything that might lead anyone to believe that I'm a woman-beater, alpha "fuckchop" or even disrespectful towards women. I also don't think anyone who doesn't personally know either of these people shouldn't offer an opinion on this matter. You have to know someone to make a lot of the judgements calls we've told this guy to make. Like I said before, it's a difference of opinion and age. I'm sorry for if I offended you.


Posted by: JordanMang

Quote:
Originally Posted by Trouble
Jordan, you are a kid and have a kids experience with the opposite sex. Keep your face out of this one. I'm likely to push your face into the crap you spew, and you're not going to like it. You're just like Dan, you got this little testosterone fueled song and dance going to prove yourself because of shitty self esteem. Could be an age thing, but it smacks of parody of your addled elders here you think the caveman routine will fly these days.
Stop playing the age card. It doesn't work. I could just as easily say "Well, since you're such and such age your views on women and relationship is out-dated." It's a difference of opinions. You're fishing for material against me, but it doesn't work. Age is a two-edged sword. If you want to get right down to it I could just say since we're closer to the same age I have more insight to the matter. I actually don't have any self-esteem problems. I'm completly comfortable with my self image ( physically and personality wise ).


Posted by: min0 lee

Quote:
Originally Posted by JordanMang
I just think you have a lot of misconstrued views on men. Your morales I won't argue ( their better then mine ), but I think your experience is with a little bit older generation and so you have different views. I personally treat women with the utmost respect. I feel attacked when any woman on here calls me an "alpha fuckchop", but I won't judge. I've never cursed or used vulgar language towards anyone woman on these forums, and I've never said anything that might lead anyone to believe that I'm a woman-beater, alpha "fuckchop" or even disrespectful towards women. I also don't think anyone who doesn't personally know either of these people shouldn't offer an opinion on this matter. You have to know someone to make a lot of the judgements calls we've told this guy to make. Like I said before, it's a difference of opinion and age. I'm sorry for if I offended you.
You just showed your age, I said the same things when I was your age.
I knew it all, the old folks are just from the stone age.

Example: In my daughters class there a couple of boys who bother her and I tell her that they like her.....she say's no it's different now, we are different.

The problem I see is that young folks have just don't listen or understand.

But Jodi just came out of a shell and knows nothing.


Posted by: JordanMang

Quote:
Originally Posted by min0 lee
You just showed your age, I said the same things when I was your age.
I knew it all, the old folks are just from the stone age.

Example: In my daughters class there a couple of boys who bother her and I tell her that they like her.....she say's no it's different now, we are different.

The problem I see is that young folks have just don't listen or understand.

But Jodi just came out of a shell and knows nothing.
Not at all. I'm not saying anyone's in the stone age. It's the same across the board. Everyone differs in opinion, and age is a apart of how you shape your ideas. I disagree with her. I have a differing opinion. She was the first one to bring up the idea that just because we're different ages ( I'm younger ) that she knows more or has more insight on the matter. You're preaching to the choir.


Posted by: Jodi

Quote:
Originally Posted by JordanMang
She was the first one to bring up the idea that just because we're different ages ( I'm younger ) that she knows more or has more insight on the matter. You're preaching to the choir.
Yes, and it's true. I do know more than you on this subject. I've been dating longer than you have been on this earth, it is natural that I know more and have more insight on this matter than you do. Anyone older than you could say the same. Living, learning, experiences, etc....this is what you learn from. You don't learn by dating a couple of young girls. You are too young to have been through what most of the people on this forum have been through, so we speak from experience. So yes, we do know more and have more insight on this matter than you.


Posted by: JordanMang

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jodi
Yes, and it's true. I do know more than you on this subject. I've been dating longer than you have been on this earth, it is natural that I know more and have more insight on this matter than you do. Anyone older than you could say the same. Living, learning, experiences, etc....this is what you learn from. You don't learn by dating a couple of young girls. You are too young to have been through what most of the people on this forum have been through, so we speak from experience. So yes, we do know more and have more insight on this matter than you.
One of the more ignorant things I've seen you post. I never offered an opinion on what he should do. I'm not going to pretend I know what he should do. I've just said you saying that he's a wife-beater in the makings are rediculous. I realize I have limited insight on the matter. But, believe me when I say I know his feelings probably 10x better then you. You aren't a man. As much as you think you know about how men think and act; you'll never know as well as I do how we feel emotionally.


Posted by: Jodi

First of all I didn't say he was a wife-beater. I said that if he doesn't seek help soon his patterns are that of a wife-beater and he is heading in that direction.

Second of all, I am not ignorant, I'm speaking matter of factly. I am older, I have more experience and have delt with similar issues. So therefore, yes I do feel that I an many others that are older on this board have more insight on this matter.

As far as men feeling emotionally? No I don't but that is not the point here. Jealousy is due to insecurity and that doesn't matter if you are a man or a women. Anger and rage lead to abuse, again, your man or woman, it's all the same.


Posted by: JordanMang

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jodi
First of all I didn't say he was a wife-beater. I said that if he doesn't seek help soon his patterns are that of a wife-beater and he is heading in that direction.

Second of all, I am not ignorant, I'm speaking matter of factly. I am older, I have more experience and have delt with similar issues. So therefore, yes I do feel that I an many others that are older on this board have more insight on this matter.

As far as men feeling emotionally? No I don't but that is not the point here. Jealousy is due to insecurity and that doesn't matter if you are a man or a women. Anger and rage lead to abuse, again, your man or woman, it's all the same.
Fine, whatever. Just another case of the blind leading the blind.


Posted by: Jodi

Fine, that's your opinion but I can honestly say in this case, I am not blind.


Posted by: TJ Cline

Quote:
Originally Posted by JordanMang
Stop playing the age card. It doesn't work. I could just as easily say "Well, since you're such and such age your views on women and relationship is out-dated." It's a difference of opinions. You're fishing for material against me, but it doesn't work. Age is a two-edged sword. If you want to get right down to it I could just say since we're closer to the same age I have more insight to the matter. I actually don't have any self-esteem problems. I'm completly comfortable with my self image ( physically and personality wise ).
Son, people have been fucking since the dawn of time.....why would you think you know shit at 16? Many of us have been there and done that so shut up and listen for a change.


Posted by: dantbfan713

The way I look at it is that age and experience shouldnt matter. Each person is different, and each situation is different. Any outsider can have opinions on another person's relationship and may have been through similar relationships to gain expeiences on, but no one is ever going to be 100 % right on a situation they arnt apart of.

With that said, No I never was, am not and never will be any type of wife beater. Id soon enough break up with her than ever hit her because I hold high morlas and respect for women.

I kinda chuckled when Jodi said she should run as far away from me as she can because I love her to death and im glad shes attached, but again I got a chuckle because I feel like i couldnt get her to leave me even if I begged her too. Thats how dedicated she is to getting married, and being with me.

For whoever said is she my first or am I her first. Yes and No. Ive had several other short term relationships that involved a little bit of forplay, but never got to sex. So yes she is my first sex wise, but it doesnt even feel like it since weve been dating for 15 months and been having sex for 12 of them. She on the other hand was not a virgin, she says shes been with 3 others. Remember shes 22, im 20.

After this weekend things went perfect and everything is on track good. We had no problems and no jealousy or arguing, but typically all it takes is a small flame starts, and it doesnt take long to turn into an explosion. On both ends, I do get upset and jealous like I started in my opening post, but she gets extreamly jealous if any other women get involved too. I guess we are so used to eachother because we made a BIG mistake of blocking everyone else out and being with eachother almost every day and definatly every weekend for the first 12 of 15 months.

As for marrying the person I first had sex with, im torn. I cant lie, there is part of me which sometimes feels "the grass is greener on the other side" and that I should expeirence and take advantage of being young and nowadays marrying and sleeping with one person is pretty rare. I would feel a lot better about doing that if I was her first too, but since im not it makes it even harder. Where the other part comes in though is id never ever cheat on her so id definatly have to break up with her, and thats not something I want to do. So unless we have a big fall out its hard to vision myself "sleeping" with anyone else.


Posted by: JordanMang

Quote:
Originally Posted by dantbfan713
The way I look at it is that age and experience shouldnt matter. Each person is different, and each situation is different. Any outsider can have opinions on another person's relationship and may have been through similar relationships to gain expeiences on, but no one is ever going to be 100 % right on a situation they arnt apart of.

With that said, No I never was, am not and never will be any type of wife beater. Id soon enough break up with her than ever hit her because I hold high morlas and respect for women.

I kinda chuckled when Jodi said she should run as far away from me as she can because I love her to death and im glad shes attached, but again I got a chuckle because I feel like i couldnt get her to leave me even if I begged her too. Thats how dedicated she is to getting married, and being with me.

For whoever said is she my first or am I her first. Yes and No. Ive had several other short term relationships that involved a little bit of forplay, but never got to sex. So yes she is my first sex wise, but it doesnt even feel like it since weve been dating for 15 months and been having sex for 12 of them. She on the other hand was not a virgin, she says shes been with 3 others. Remember shes 22, im 20.

After this weekend things went perfect and everything is on track good. We had no problems and no jealousy or arguing, but typically all it takes is a small flame starts, and it doesnt take long to turn into an explosion. On both ends, I do get upset and jealous like I started in my opening post, but she gets extreamly jealous if any other women get involved too. I guess we are so used to eachother because we made a BIG mistake of blocking everyone else out and being with eachother almost every day and definatly every weekend for the first 12 of 15 months.

As for marrying the person I first had sex with, im torn. I cant lie, there is part of me which sometimes feels "the grass is greener on the other side" and that I should expeirence and take advantage of being young and nowadays marrying and sleeping with one person is pretty rare. I would feel a lot better about doing that if I was her first too, but since im not it makes it even harder. Where the other part comes in though is id never ever cheat on her so id definatly have to break up with her, and thats not something I want to do. So unless we have a big fall out its hard to vision myself "sleeping" with anyone else.
Do what you feel you should do. I've never felt the way you feel about your girl. So I can't really say what I would do. Hindsight is always 20/20, but I wish you luck. Live with no regrets my man.


Posted by: Mudge

Spying is going to make your problems worse.


Posted by: nsimmons

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mudge
Spying is going to make your problems worse.
Ding ding! Its better not to know. I dated a girl who i suspected was fooling around. One day fixing her car i snooped through everything and found a condom wrapper that wasnt mine. She never told me and couldnt figure out why i didnt want to see her any more. I wouldnt have much rather not found it.

I also caught a girl with her tongue down some other guys throat, while i just happen to be spying on her.

Both cases i would have much prefered to just end the relationship than catching them.


Posted by: joesmooth20

Quote:
Originally Posted by nsimmons
Ding ding! Its better not to know. I dated a girl who i suspected was fooling around. One day fixing her car i snooped through everything and found a condom wrapper that wasnt mine. She never told me and couldnt figure out why i didnt want to see her any more. I wouldnt have much rather not found it.

I also caught a girl with her tongue down some other guys throat, while i just happen to be spying on her.

Both cases i would have much prefered to just end the relationship than catching them.

Damn dude, that's really shitty and depressing.


Posted by: nsimmons

ehh whatever, 20 year old hotties are whores


Posted by: JOHNYORK

Quote:
Originally Posted by joesmooth20
Damn dude, that's really shitty and depressing.

eat shit


Posted by: Cardinal

I have mixed opinions on this one when it comes to going through emails/phone calls. I have done a fair amount of reading and posting on other boards when it comes to relationships. This is what I see most often.

"Spying is going to make your problems worse". Just as mudge said.

But it seems more often than not there is a reason for the spying. Also many times, it seems like the person being spied on is cheating. Was it wrong to snoop? Yes! But given what was found here, I can't say it was completely unjustified.

At least on some of the forums I visit, it seems to be the women that freely admit spying on their SO's activities more than anything else for what it is worth.

I don't know how to get rid of the jealousy issue. I think with me, I care very little about many things. I have better things to do than sit around and be jealous wondering what my girl might not be telling me. I just don't give a damn.


Posted by: DaMayor

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jodi
WTF? You have control issues and anger management problems. She has confessed to you her discussion with her co-worker. This should be proof that when she feels guilty she wants to talk to you. How the hell can one be so sneaky to impose up her personal belongings such as her phone and email. She could have you arrested for shit like that. Second of all, that is completey uncalled for and disrespectful and you consider dumping her? Too bad she wasn't on this board because I would tell her right now to run for her life from you. Your anger will get worse as you age and in time you will be hitting her. You say right now, No I won't, but every abusive man said that at some point. You need help!
Um, Jodi, I'd say that response is just a bit over the top. Jealousy is more driven by a fear of rejectment or some other insecurity, and I (would like to) doubt that this guy is a candidate for abusive behavior....but who knows.
In fact, most abusive types are not jealous at all....they're just a bunch of needle dicks with a truckload of inadequacy issues who feel the need to control others via violent acts because, as the cowards they are, they feel that they have no control based on their own worth. Trust me, I wasted the last year and a half trying to save someone from this type of situation, and the little whimp she was with was never jealous.....just a coward.

I think this guy's just young and has let himself get into the destructive pattern of snooping instead of putting it on the table and talking it out, fixing it, or walking away.


Posted by: AKIRA

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cardinal
I have mixed opinions on this one when it comes to going through emails/phone calls. I have done a fair amount of reading and posting on other boards when it comes to relationships. This is what I see most often.

"Spying is going to make your problems worse". Just as mudge said.

But it seems more often than not there is a reason for the spying. Also many times, it seems like the person being spied on is cheating. Was it wrong to snoop? Yes! But given what was found here, I can't say it was completely unjustified.

At least on some of the forums I visit, it seems to be the women that freely admit spying on their SO's activities more than anything else for what it is worth.

I don't know how to get rid of the jealousy issue. I think with me, I care very little about many things. I have better things to do than sit around and be jealous wondering what my girl might not be telling me. I just don't give a damn.
Hmm.

Nicely put.

I guess the only downfall of that could be the tried and true concept. "My ex was doing the very same shady shit my current gfriend is doing and my ex cheated on me, so my current one is cheating on me." Behaviors arent always going to be the same with everyone, so should we spy on all of them cuz of our pasts? Who knows.

I remember my ex cheated on me a lot, but it was in moderation. After she had her fun with someone shed be good to me for a few months, then it was back to the slutathon!

Drop the bitch and the attitude or deal with it, just leave me the hell out of it.


Posted by: Johnny Begood

'Jealousy' is often a sign of insecurity..... all relationships take work and if that 'work' aint working, then sometimes the best thing to do is take a deep breath and move on.

Don't throw blame, it takes two to make somethings go wrong...most of the time if you're not givng your woman the attention she needs / deserves she'll get it somewhere else..and believe me there are plenty of scumbags out there who'll promise the earth to a womans to get in her knickers....if it's time to move on, things will only get worse...the pain of truth is easier to take than the pain of the lie!

If you care for someone, you don't want to hold them back and waste their time, also, your time is precious too, don't waste it with someone who doesn't make you feel number one.

also, remember life is short and there are plenty more cherry's on the tree! there's someone for everyone... if you do move on, do yourself a favour and learn from this, don't make the same mistake twice..

As they say "if you love someone you set them free..... if they love you they'll come back...if they don't... you hunt them down...stalk them and make their life a living hell!!"


Posted by: Little Wing

Quote:
Originally Posted by dantbfan713
some of you are bogus as hell.

Yea im going to turn into a wife beater all a sudden because I check her phone and myspace. Put the crack pipe down lady.

And I dont think I have control issues, I have a feeling shes messing around and rather than put all my trust into believing shes not and getting hurt later, id rather pry and try to find out so that i can get out if this does happen to be the case.

women beater...wow


maybe you do have some self esteem issues but maybe too your intuition is just working. the times i've felt that way i would see it as a fault in myself and ignore it only to later regret not listening to my gut instinct. when you can trust someone i think you can feel it. as with when you can't trust someone. you can sense that.

those bad feelings are there for a reason. they're part of every person's ancient survival mechanism. they will help guide you if you trust them. when i met the right person it didn't take any effort to feel confident in his loyalty. your intuition can work that way too. it's a beautiful peace hmmm stillness. there will be no tempest of doubts. having a partner that you know for certain has too much class and integrity to belittle you or themselves by being a dirtbag is pretty cool.

her deleting her phone shit is cuz there is something she's being sneaky about imo. crying n promising has been done by my cheating exes too so it don't mean squat. when your intuition tells you you can trust someone you won't even think about checking up on them etc.

i think there must be things about her that are feeding your fears maybe you just need to reconsider what type of partner you want and find someone you respect more. you won't regret it.


Posted by: Little Wing

Quote:
Originally Posted by maniclion
You're the same guy who won't go down on his girl cause it tastes nasty. That would explain why she's looking at other options...

a clean pussy doesn't smell or taste bad. maybe now we know why hers tastes nasty....


Posted by: Little Wing

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jodi
I wouldn't ever be with a man who has a history of deceiving me or anyone else for that matter. I won't be with them. Trust is number one and if I can't trust them, then I don't want to be with them.
that was my first thought


Posted by: Little Wing

and as to abusive men. i can tell you for certain that the two i knew were not at all jealous, suspicious or controlling. i think the biggest factor in them being abusive was having been raised in violent homes.


Posted by: The Pool Cleana

hey buddy ill tell u what i right now am in the same exact sitiuation you are in my girl deletes her phone calls n shit to and iv actually done my fair share of snooping its just the way somepeople are man i mean iv had past experiences with a girl thats cheated on me and when u get hurt like that it in a since never goes away it stays with you in the back of your mind and u never want it to happen again so in my opinion stick it out let the cards be delt thats the only way i se u can go about iot


Posted by: TheBigA

Hi The Pool Cleana has it correct.


Posted by: AKIRA

Holy shit, is punctuation really that fucking hard to use?


Posted by: AKIRA

Quote:
Originally Posted by AKIRA View Post
Hmm.

Nicely put.

I guess the only downfall of that could be the tried and true concept. "My ex was doing the very same shady shit my current gfriend is doing and my ex cheated on me, so my current one is cheating on me." Behaviors arent always going to be the same with everyone, so should we spy on all of them cuz of our pasts? Who knows.

I remember my ex cheated on me a lot, but it was in moderation. After she had her fun with someone shed be good to me for a few months, then it was back to the slutathon!

Drop the bitch and the attitude or deal with it, just leave me the hell out of it.

Just looking back at what I wrote in the thread. And jesus.. I am one funny prick.



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