10 Situations In Which You'd Want To Avoid Getting A Blowjob [Forum Archive]

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1. After your blowjob buddy comes back from getting a filling (and I'm not talking about a creampie). Her mouth will be numb from the novocaine, and she chances of her chomping down on your dick are high!

2. Avoid getting a blowjob on a rollercoaster. Getting a blowjob while traveling on a bumpy cart going 130 miles per hour is just asking for disaster.

3. When the slut offering you to give the blowjob has a first name of Lorena and a last name of Bobbit.

4. If the girl you just met in a club has a deep voice and an Adams Apple... And hands bigger than yours! She may know how to please your cock, but she may also have a bigger cock than you!

5. If she's whining about buffing the bishop with her mouth, then you'll be better off by just going into the bathroom and jerking yourself off. Nothing kills the mood and a perfectly good erection than a girl who keeps whining about her sore jaw, the taste of precum or the scent of your musty nuts.

6. Never get a blowjob from an epileptic bitch in a night club. While it may be a thrill the get a blowjob in public, it'll be a major pain when she clamps down on your cock and foams at the mouth.

7. Never pick the hottest girl in the group if you are just seeking a blowjob. It's a FACT that the ugliest/fattest girls give the best blowjobs. If a knob slobbing is all you seek, do yourself a favor and pick the odd woman out!

8. Just because a couple fingers pop out of a hole in the mens bathroom doesn't mean that you should stick your cock through it... Especially if that hand has hairy knuckles and a wedding band! That is of course unless you don't mind a 45 year old married fat guy giving you a blowjob through a hole in the wall.

9. Just because the chick at the STD clinic is hot, doesn't mean that you can look past that open sore on her mouth. While she may look sexy when she's on her knees giving you a blowjob, she might not look so sexy when you wake up the next day to see what else she gave you!

10. While your best friend's mom may look fucking amazing, you may want to keep in mind that your best friend is an escaped convict who fled the joint after being charged for double homicide. Avoid blowjobs from your buddy's mom at all costs!

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Originally Posted by Crono1000

damn there are some hotties on #4!!!

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Originally Posted by MACCA

A mate of mine pulled a real stunning bird the other week and couldnt believe his luck when she invited him back too her place. On the monday at work we asked him how he got on, the story started well with her being a real copper and she pretended to handcuff him, he said she stripped him naked and tied his hands behind his back and proceeded to give him a blowjob, he said he felt a sharp pain in his groin area and when he looked down there was blood pissing out or his cock, she had sliced through his foreskin, what made it worse is that she couldnt get the knot out from behind his back.....we were pissing ourselves laughing when he told us this but he didnt see the funny side of it.....

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Originally Posted by MACCA

Poor guy, hes got a girlfriend so he had to say no too sex until it had healed up......

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Originally Posted by min0 lee

She doesn't know does she? How does one explain that?
"Honey the dog bit my-------"

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Originally Posted by min0 lee

Holy crap!!! I didn't realize there were links when I copied this!

Believe it or not I was thinking of you when I made the 3 threads about sperm.

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Originally Posted by Triple Threat

BJs - When they're good, they're great! And when they're bad, they're still pretty good.

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Originally Posted by min0 lee

Isn't it called the same?

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Originally Posted by FatCatMC

I'm calling bullshit on rule number 7. That is a total myth about fat/ugly girls giving the best head. If it isn't a myth I found the anomaly. Twice.

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Originally Posted by FatCatMC

I'm calling bullshit on rule number 7. That is a total myth about fat/ugly girls giving the best head. If it isn't a myth I found the anomaly. Twice.

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Originally Posted by Mista

7. Totally disagree!

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Originally Posted by bigss75

Fat girls give awesome head, the skinny ones just kinda knob on the head in my experience.

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Originally Posted by Strongwarrior

Yeah, but when they are in love with you, they'll do everything, deepthroat, swallow, everything....Conquer her heart first and you'll be a lucky man...