Be thankful for what you have. Atleast your not over in Iraq, away from your family and friends. I feel bad for those guys. It must be so scary and hard. What did you do in your early 20's?

Be thankful for what you have. Atleast your not over in Iraq, away from your family and friends. I feel bad for those guys. It must be so scary and hard. What did you do in your early 20's?

Thats the kind of mentality that I try to keep. "It could be worse..." However, it just doesnt work outside the box. It should, but it just doesnt.

Zombul, are you the actor on this site?

I will soon graduate with a degree in a hard science.

I am turning 30 in a few months and am going through the exact same stuff. I totally don't know what I want to do. I feel like a failure, and to top it off I'm getting married and I have no idea how I'm going to pay for it. Anyway, you are not alone.

I am turning 30 in a few months and am going through the exact same stuff. I totally don't know what I want to do. I feel like a failure, and to top it off I'm getting married and I have no idea how I'm going to pay for it. Anyway, you are not alone.

Don't know who your talking to DB but I have a beautiful gf.

Yes he is. I was asking you what you did in your early 20's. Did you go to college? Did something fall through?

My job and training has always been good, but theres a time when a person feels a need for self-improvement. This has made me feel down and Ive been experiencing a lot of anxiety lately because of it. Lots of negative thoughts, "nevers, all or nothings," slippery slopes, I hate it.

I am the kind of person that sees every negative thing down the line, that I cant stay focused on what could be positive. I fucking hate feeling like this. I have an ok life, a lot better than others, so why do I feel like this? I should be grateful for everyday I can get up and live.

For instance, I have an audition in Feb 10 that may enable me to get into Univeristy of Florida. Ive been worried about actually moving there to a school, not knowing anyone, having to find work, and hoping that my money going to classes is going to net me a future.

I know there are some college kids in here, so I know you guys have experienced this shit, but I am 26 years old turning 27 in Feb.. I am going to feel really fucking ODD...and I am going to feel ODD alone.

Prepare for the worst, but don't dwell on it. Remember that you make a conscious effort everyday to be pessimistic. This is a choice.
Akira, always keep your head up and your eyes open. You never know when your break will come. If you work hard, you will get your chance, you just need to recognize it.

Maybe you and FatCat need girlfriends.

What's even worse is that, at the age of 17, I feel really insecure about my future because I don't know what I want to do yet.

My job and training has always been good, but theres a time when a person feels a need for self-improvement. This has made me feel down and Ive been experiencing a lot of anxiety lately because of it. Lots of negative thoughts, "nevers, all or nothings," slippery slopes, I hate it.

I am the kind of person that sees every negative thing down the line, that I cant stay focused on what could be positive. .................................................. ...............

Good advice. And this was a New years Resolution...."go easier on myself, lighten up, be more optimistic."

I thought I had everything figured out. I had a job paid decent and I got a memo the other day that said they were going to do away with my position in 3 months! So needless to say i am fucked!

My personal life is great. Wife, 2 kids and 1 on the way! Cant ask for more than that. But yeah the job thing will get ya down for sure.

Yeah no kidding. So they say we have 3 months and I say I am not doing a damn thing for 3 months just keep the money coming.

I thought I had everything figured out. I had a job paid decent and I got a memo the other day that said they were going to do away with my position in 3 months! So needless to say i am fucked!

My personal life is great. Wife, 2 kids and 1 on the way! Cant ask for more than that. But yeah the job thing will get ya down for sure.

What is that?

No nothing near me. But hell its not like its a great job, but it made the bills. I am sending off to get the marterial to study to get certified to be a trainer. But thats the easy part, I do believe the hard part is actually getting the job!

Thanks I will find something, hell my new baby is due in September, i got to!

Good Thread Akira.

I think being anxious about the future is natural for everyone. It's like a built in mechanism for people to strive for the best. In a way, you have to think about all the negatives, so you can best prepare for them. Without this anxiety, you would be busy celebrating your past accomplishments, which really, do no good for your future anyhow.

Have you heard of Kierkegaard? His philosophy on this subject is very inspiring.

Anxiety leads to action: "Kierkegaard wrote that the most common form of despair occurs when one does not choose or 'will' to be oneself -- when a person is 'another than himself.' The opposite of despair is 'to will to be that self which one truly is.' That's the experience of anxiety.It is choosing life in the face of death; it is the experience of thought becoming action, reflection becoming behavior, and theory becoming practice. Anxiety is pure energy."


Anxiety makes you a grown-up: "Anxiety is the experience of growth itself. In any endeavor, how do you feel when you go from one stage to the next? The answer: You feel anxious. Anxiety that is denied makes us ill; anxiety that is fully confronted and fully lived through converts itself into joy, security, strength, centeredness, and character. The practical formula: Go where the pain is."

I hate speaking in front of people and I suck at interviews. I get very nervous and normally arent worth a shit. Then again if the person who I am talkin to is very laid back I have no problems, but how many times do you go in for an interview that the person your talking to is laid back? Not to many and I have had my share.

Thanks I will find something, hell my new baby is due in September, i got to!

You are very right. I have looked at this like an opurtunity. I have always wanted to train people for a living so I am going that route and see what happens. I do agree 100% why worry about things whenever you can always do better.

I haven't asked you a question or referred to you at all during this thread.

Cool no problem,just wasn't sure so I answered just in case.


I say that exercise seems to be my calling but I want more;example last night I spent the evening at a resort demonstrating exercise equipment after I left my job at the gym.I am about to just roll with this and see where it ends up.I love everything about lifting and I can make descent money here,not many people educated on any form of exercise in Branson.I just don't want to commit to it yet.
Too bad you don't live around here Akira because I can keep PT as busy as they want to be.

Christ, didnt you say you were 23? You work out, hopefully have a decent figure from it, run a gym, and act. Fuck, that sounds like a pretty good start.

I do my best to make sure that fear never drives my life. By making that an important facet of my life, I've lowered my stress levels and shot my self-confidence through the roof.

But my greatest fear is falling behind,I have set a pace but don't know what door will open next because everything has seemingly come to me by chance.I know I haven't got any place to complain and could have it much worse but I just don't have any future plans and don't want my early 20's to be the high point of my life.

I've heard you say this before and I completely understand where you're coming from but I have a different take on it. Fear always drove me. For the last 7 years I've been afraid to fail. The more I succeed, the larger the fall, which in turns drives me forward. Never ending cycle maybe but it has provided nicely thus far.

Fear should never control or consume and I think maybe this is your point?

What's even worse is that, at the age of 17, I feel really insecure about my future because I don't know what I want to do yet. High schools and colleges put so much pressure on you to choose something, and I think it's way too early in life to choose what you're going to do. I mean, you're choosing something that will last 2-3 times as long as you've been alive at this point. That's ridiculous, I think.

Be glad you didn't go to college. You might've ended up with a degree in something you hate, and stuck somewhere you'd rather not be. Better to find late what you love than to stick early to what you hate.

I used to use fear like that, but I discovered a better way to live. Instead of being afraid to fail, I know that I can accomplish whatever goal I want to.

Actually, It's not near as bad as you think.
I was in your shoes a year or 2 ago.
I am in my second semester at a community college, and here's the deal.


I would advise you to go to community college for the first 2 years and just get a core Associates degree in science or art.

By doing this you get rid of all the basics that you will need at a state university. And you will be able to transfer to most public schools in your state with that degree.
From there you can decide, and by 2 years, 99% of people have made a decision...that's not to say you won't change it, but at least at that point you have a direction to go in.

For you college kids in here, have you declared a major and NOT taken classes for it? I mean, its your money right? Must you take classes that go along with your major?

That's the attitude you need.

It drives my boss insane. From time to time he tries to lord over me and I just blow him off.

It drives my wife insane when I'm Mr. Cool. I have to remind her that just because I'm not freaking out that doesn't mean that I don't care or have plans. Sometimes I also have to remind her that just because I don't care doesn't mean that I don't understand.

Actually, It's not near as bad as you think.
I was in your shoes a year or 2 ago.
I am in my second semester at a community college, and here's the deal.


I would advise you to go to community college for the first 2 years and just get a core Associates degree in science or art.

By doing this you get rid of all the basics that you will need at a state university. And you will be able to transfer to most public schools in your state with that degree.
From there you can decide, and by 2 years, 99% of people have made a decision...that's not to say you won't change it, but at least at that point you have a direction to go in.

I was so worried all senior year about what I was gonna do, and what I should plan for, and even into my first semester.

The real deal is that highschool turns out not to be important.
As long as you pass with decent grades and do alright on the SAT.
You will be fine.

Just go to a Community college for at least a couple semesters to get the feel for college life, and then go from there. It will be much easier than what you are feeling it is right now.

I think you'll do fine in life Squag. You are intelligent for your age and have better grammar and spelling then 99% of the people on this board. Pick something that you enjoy and stick with it.

I learned very early from my family that freaking out and becoming angry only makes problems worse. I'm actually somewhat thankful for this since I now realize never to lose my temper, or freak out, or be surprised by nearly anything. It's worked wonderfully so far.

Not to mention that when you get angry and try to make a decision, you're more like the wrong one.

I still lose my temper, but I only allow it at moments where it doesn't matter (such as when driving or dealing with a person that means nothing to me). There are no bad emotions, just bad timing and reactions.

Definitely agree about making a decision while emotional. I find that emotion clouds thought.

I do think that emotions which make you vulnerable (such as anger) could be classified as 'bad,' though.

I'm just overwhelmed with college choices and how you must choose before you're 20 years of age what you'd like to do with the rest of your life.

My job and training has always been good, but theres a time when a person feels a need for self-improvement. This has made me feel down and Ive been experiencing a lot of anxiety lately because of it. Lots of negative thoughts, "nevers, all or nothings," slippery slopes, I hate it.

I am the kind of person that sees every negative thing down the line, that I cant stay focused on what could be positive. I fucking hate feeling like this. I have an ok life, a lot better than others, so why do I feel like this? I should be grateful for everyday I can get up and live.

For instance, I have an audition in Feb 10 that may enable me to get into Univeristy of Florida. Ive been worried about actually moving there to a school, not knowing anyone, having to find work, and hoping that my money going to classes is going to net me a future.

I know there are some college kids in here, so I know you guys have experienced this shit, but I am 26 years old turning 27 in Feb.. I am going to feel really fucking ODD...and I am going to feel ODD alone.

Akira, there usually tends to be some (or a lot of) overlap for general education (GenEd) courses. You will likely have to backtrack some, but I doubt all of your classes will go to waste. I think most colleges give you x amount of years until your previous credits expire. I would call your community college and ask them. It is pretty normal to change your major several times during college; I have done this myself. Are you planning on getting a different AA degree from your community college then transferring to a university to complete a BA?

This is prolly the BEST fucking thing Ive read about anxiety. Using it for fuel, so to speak. I am printing it.

viet, werent you depressed recently? I could of sworn there was a thread from you some time ago.

Thats definetly something I want to avoid at all costs.

Actually, I have two older siblings who went to a community college first. One regrets it and the other doesn't: The one who doesn't ended up transferring back after going to a private school that kind of screwed her over; the one who does ended up taking just as long to receive his four-year degree and doesn't think the community college helped him at all. Needless to say, I have some reservation in doing so. Not to mention the fact that my parents would probably not let me.

One unfortunate thing about me is that I want to learn so much about so many things. My problem of where to go and what to study wouldn't be a problem at all if I had a single interest. But I have too many to list, and my mindset at the moment is that there's not enough time in the world to learn them all (but in a good way).

I know college life will suit me, though. I'll have much more of my own schedule and I'll be able to actually stay awake according to my natural sleep cycle (I'm nocturnal). I'm just overwhelmed with college choices and how you must choose before you're 20 years of age what you'd like to do with the rest of your life. I don't like this aspect of society whatsoever, and I plan to move out of the country in eventuality; I'd rather not have my kids go through the same pressures. (I need to do a lot more research before I move out though, of course.)

Anger has saved the lives of many people.

I still think it's not the emotion that's bad, it the action you take that could be bad.

I think you're misconstruing the idea of what community college is for.
It's the same as a university except:

It is much cheaper.
You can get an associate's degree.
You are not forced to live on campus.
You are not forced to pick a major.

That's pretty muchly it.
Of course, there are other minor differences, like they are smaller, etc etc.

But you get the idea.

CC just lets you get your basics done for much cheaper and gives your more freedom IMO.