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Originally Posted by Crono1000
So like any good story this one begins with me masterbating. Titanya's been out of the house for the weekend and so I thought I'd take advantage of the alonetime: I've been holding out for 2 days straight so that today I could "beat" my old record of 7 times in 1 day. Well, given that the ol' ball and chain isn't around to tell me not to eat like a pig, I decided I'd get #3 out and then hit the Chinese Buffet for the special lunch price, get back home and then crank out #4 to the hot asian waitress who I would store in my spank bank. So I wrap up #3, tuck it in, and then head straight out of the apartment to get to the buffet in time, where I meet our new neighbor (a cute chick but I'm pretty sure she's a level 70 night elf priest in some other reality). I introduce myself, she introduces herself, we shake hands, and then I drive off.
However, it is then that I realize that not 20 seconds probably passed between me practicing to hold an eggroll and me shaking this poor, unsuspecting chick's hand. It just felt... kinda dirty, but kinda funny too. |
nahhh I think it's more a matter of intention. A dirty old man would have that whole premeditated thing going on, and you didn't. The anticipation or her touch would be followed by the grin as his hand grasped hers. You were non-plussed about that part. There would be an uncontrollable need to hold the clasp of hands longer than she was comfortable with. You never mentioned it. All that closeness would of course be followed by a hurried walk directly to the nearest public men's room cuz a proper dirty old man would have no choice but to punch his clown within moments. You managed enough composure to make it home before you rubbed one out. |
Originally Posted by BoneCrusher
nahhh I think it's more a matter of intention. A dirty old man would have that whole premeditated thing going on, and you didn't. The anticipation or her touch would be followed by the grin as his hand grasped hers. You were non-plussed about that part. There would be an uncontrollable need to hold the clasp of hands longer than she was comfortable with. You never mentioned it. All that closeness would of course be followed by a hurried walk directly to the nearest public men's room cuz a proper dirty old man would have no choice but to punch his clown within moments. You managed enough composure to make it home before you rubbed one out. While you are not qualified to call yourself a dirty old man ... you do have potential. |
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Originally Posted by Crono1000
something tells me you know all this from experience
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Originally Posted by Plateau_Max
7 times in one day must make you so sore afterwards that even getting a hard on would be painful as hell...
"Spank Bank" that's a good one. |
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Originally Posted by Plateau_Max
7 times in one day must make you so sore afterwards that even getting a hard on would be painful as hell...
"Spank Bank" that's a good one. |
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Originally Posted by Crono1000
man, I never made it pass #6. I guess I'm just not 17 anymore
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Originally Posted by FishOrCutBait
Chrono Trigger is one of the best games ever.
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Originally Posted by soxmuscle
You didn't wash your hands after wacking off, knowing that you were going to be eating a hands on buffet?
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Originally Posted by Crono1000
I'm not sure, actually. I mean, I guess I usually wash my hands, but basically, I mean it was a Chinese buffet so, whatever was still on my hands was gonna be in my food anyway, why wash 'em?
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Originally Posted by soxmuscle
Extra protein! A little cum never hurt in anybody
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Originally Posted by soxmuscle
Extra protein! A little cum never hurt in anybody
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Originally Posted by soxmuscle
A little cum never hurt in anybody
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Originally Posted by ALBOB
That's what Freddie Mercury thought.
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... Queen was a hell of a band but that dude was one serious cum dumpster.