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Posted by: Edolie

I am in need of sex advice.

As odd as it may seem, I am a 24 year old virgin. Yes, I've waited that long for Mister Right and have finally found him. Alas, many problems have gotten in the way of us consummating our relationship...

The reason that has come up most often is that he is intimidated by my virginity. I don't get that, but...okay. Then he said that he has finally started to grow as a person and wants to find out who he really is. I pegged that one as bull shit pretty quick and it hasn't come up since. A few nights ago I gave him a blow job and we started to get pretty frisky. When it came to intercourse, he stopped and said that he doesn't have a condom with him and went on to talk about an ex-girlfriend getting pregnant and having miscarriage, or what she claims was a miscarriage. A completely understandable reason. I sure as hell don't want kids yet. I lost my train of thought...there is always some reason for not having sex. Most of the time it's a new reason or me being a virgin.

Anyway, he has recently started talking about me taking birth control. Before we dated, I normally hung out with him and a friend of his. Their conversations usually consisted of politics, sex, or religion. One of their sex talks included how horrible condoms are and that he can't get off at all when he's using them. So, I'm extremely tempted to try birth control to see if he'll jump right in with no reserves. However, I have a major fear of doctors and I react badly to most medications. I can't take something for a head ache without having strange or horrible results.

Sorry, this is so long, but there are three more problems. He has a huge penis. I haven't seen many or touched any before him, but I was seriously shocked the first time I saw it. Considering the fact that I've never had anything bigger than a tampon in me, it is a tad terrifying.

The biggest problem, I think, is that he hates sex. I found this out a few days ago. He had talked about how horrible all of his relationships were before we got together, but there has got to be more to it than I realize. The majority of his relationships before were based on sex. According to him, they had sex all the time and he never really found it enjoyable. Plus he is a very romantic person or used to be. He thought that sex was the ultimate way of emotional bonding and what not. Now he thinks that is bull shit. He thinks of masturbation as just a normal thing, like eating and breathing. He does it to balance his hormones and moves on. I don't mind him masturbating all the time, but when it comes to actual sex, I have to disagree with him. I didn't stay a virgin so that things would be this way.

Okay, the third problem. He has a hard time reaching an orgasm and had had a lot of sex before having is first one. I guess he usually runs out of steam before he can get there and, thus far, I've run out of steam as well while trying to help him get there. I think that it has to do with his medication, but it could be psychological. Although we aren't having intercourse right now, I would like to help him with this. Any techniques that I could try while we're messing around would be great. He's given me a few directions like where he likes to be licked and touched, and that he likes it "rough". I tried to get a bit more rough when I was giving him a blow job, but I didn't really know in what way he meant.

Posted by: chiquita6683

What medication is he taking?

Posted by: NFOMan

[quote=Edolie;1768701]I am in need of sex advice.

As odd as it may seem, I am a 24 year old virgin. Yes, I've waited that long for Mister Right and have finally found him. Alas, many problems have gotten in the way of us consummating our relationship...---------------

Feminina: Yet rid of this jerk. Find yourself a man who can appreciate you. (In my regular jock opinion)

Posted by: Irons77

You have problems girl

Posted by: Edolie

Quote:

What medication is he taking?

He's taking zoloft and some sort of anxiety medication.

Quote:

Feminina: Yet rid of this jerk. Find yourself a man who can appreciate you. (In my regular jock opinion)

I couldn't possibly leave him because of this. Hell, I can't think of a single reason to leave him. He respects me, treats me like a goddess, adores me and tells me every day, has managed to make me open up (something no one else had managed to do before), and so much more. One can't just give up on a relationship because they've hit a rough spot. We'll eventually work this out...I'm just trying to find a way to make it easier and come about much quicker. I'd be a liar if I said that I don't get extremely horny every now and then. I could go out and find someone who would have sex with me with no problem, but it would be just that...sex. I'm not interested in sex; I want much more than that and I think that he's the only person who could give me that...he just can't yet.

Quote:

You have problems girl

*sigh* Yeah...

Posted by: Irons77

How old are you? Maybe you don't turn him on like that

Posted by: tomuchgear

damn irons thats cold. some things take time, and medications can really screw with people.

Posted by: Irons77

Quote:

Originally Posted by tomuchgear

damn irons thats cold. some things take time, and medications can really screw with people.

Why would you want to be with someone that their meds screw them up. Apparently it's a problem or she wouldn't be posting it, right?

Posted by: shiznit2169

Check your PM Edolie

Posted by: NeilPearson

I agree with NFOMan. Any guy that makes excuses for not having sex with his 24 year old girlfriend doesn't deserve a girlfriend.

He doesn't like sex? He obviously has issues if he is on medication like that. Why would you even want to be involved with someone like that?

You guys are basically just friends, date other guys while keeping him around as a friend if you must. Personally I wouldn't have anything to do with him though.

It sounds like you have absolutely NO chemistry together or he would be banging you already.

Time to move on...

Posted by: NeilPearson

Quote:

Originally Posted by Edolie

Hell, I can't think of a single reason to leave him.

Not having sex with you is a huge, huge reason.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Edolie

He respects me, treats me like a goddess, adores me and tells me every day, has managed to make me open up (something no one else had managed to do before), and so much more. One can't just give up on a relationship because they've hit a rough spot.

Relationships don't get easier. If you start off this way, it's not good. Don't try and force the relationship if there is no attraction on his side (or if he is completely nuts which I suspect is the case)

Posted by: tomuchgear

the only reason i would say takes time when i shatterd my ankle/foot pain killers made me so doped up i couldnt talk. also my wife got on some birth control that killed her sex drive a few years back. i didnt run around on her i waited to find out what the hell was going on. if his meds are the problem then he needs to tell the doc to put him on some thing diffrent. now if it aint meds kick his ass to the curb.

Posted by: tomuchgear

correction couldnt talk straight much like my typing.

Posted by: NeilPearson

Quote:

Originally Posted by tomuchgear

the only reason i would say takes time when i shatterd my ankle/foot pain killers made me so doped up i couldnt talk. also my wife got on some birth control that killed her sex drive a few years back. i didnt run around on her i waited to find out what the hell was going on. if his meds are the problem then he needs to tell the doc to put him on some thing diffrent. now if it aint meds kick his ass to the curb.

I don't care if it is his meds...

"He's taking zoloft and some sort of anxiety medication"

Actually, taking zoloft and anxiety medication is reason enough for me not to get serious with someone. Why would I want to get serious with someone that is all messed up and crazy?

I could see hanging out, having sex with someone like this and never letting it get serious just because sex with crazy people can be fun but if they are crazy and not putting out? Well, there is no reason to keep them around.

Posted by: tomuchgear

Quote:

Originally Posted by NeilPearson

ya good point i didnt pay attention to the meds. people that need that much can get a little freaky. run away just be friends and move on.

Posted by: Gazhole

I dont think the meds are effecting his sex drive, because she said he jerks himself off all the time.

Seriously, i would just sit him down and ask him what the fuck is going on. Straight out.

Posted by: Edolie

Well, there is a lot that I haven't mentioned...he doesn't like just anyone knowing, but I'm sure that none of you know him anyway. He has severe OCD (obsessive Compulsive Disorder), which is why he takes the zoloft and anxiety meds. It slows down his train of thought and makes it easier for him to make it through the day.

And it isn't because he's not attracted to me...which I thought was the reason for a while, so I just up and asked him. Then there's the fact that I can make him get a boner without trying, he just stops things before they get too far. He was all over me when we first got together and then he started applying his OCD stuff to our relationship...like kissing me a specific number of times...stuff like that.

Since I first met him, he has changed a lot. He doesn't do as much of the OCD stuff as he used to and has started to travel again...which hasn't happened in around three years.

Beh, there is way to much to describe it on here. I only bothered because you don't just throw something like this away because of sex problems. We do have chemistry, we love spending time together...he can't stand being away from me for one night. If there is such a thing as true love, then this is it. I don't want to get all gushy, but that's just it. Before, I thought that I would never meet someone. Sure, he's odd, but he is an amazing person.

Anyway, we got into a bit of a spat because he started kissing and groping me when I actually didn't want him to. I said, "You don't want to do that any other time...why now?" and it just continued from there. Later on he said that he was sorry for being an asshole and said, "I'm scared, that's the only reason." My anger hadn't yet worn off at that point, so I couldn't make myself ask him what he meant, but there ya go. I'll probably ask him later tonight when we get home.

Well, this post was all over the place...I'm not so sure that it made any sense. Sorry.

Posted by: Irons77

Are you sure he is not gay, blaming it on the meds

Posted by: NeverEnough

are you positive hes not makin all of this up to get in your pants...i dont know but it sounds like he is just using a ton of lines...i dont like sex...i dont like condoms...you make meopen up...blah blah...usually all that=bull shit

Posted by: danzik17

Quote:

Originally Posted by NeverEnough

are you positive hes not makin all of this up to get in your pants...i dont know but it sounds like he is just using a ton of lines...i dont like sex...i dont like condoms...you make meopen up...blah blah...usually all that=bull shit

QUIET YOU. You have violated man law #64. Thou shalt not divulge man secrets.

Posted by: Gazhole

Quote:

Originally Posted by danzik17

QUIET YOU. You have violated man law #64. Thou shalt not divulge man secrets.

Its a very complicated code. We dont even know the rules ourselves.

Posted by: Merkaba

This guy sounds like a fucking pussy. Get rid of him. Period. guys quit acting like you fucking care. Kissasses!!

Posted by: min0 lee

Quote:

Originally Posted by shiznit2169

Check your PM Edolie

Posted by: min0 lee

Quote:

Originally Posted by Edolie

I am in need of sex advice.

Just curious, how did you come across this site?
Is this an alias? Not that it matters but it is odd that this is your first post here.
Or is a member here with the "problem" your boyfriend.

You can tell us....I'll take a guess...

which IM member has a erection prob.....it's Akira!!!

No wait, could it be Gazhole...

the switch from goats to human could pose a problem..

Or is it Danny81.....nah, he's into the black Bukakke thang...

Posted by: min0 lee

Quote:

Originally Posted by Edolie

He sounds like he's going to be your best friend, sex may ruin that relationship.

Posted by: min0 lee

Quote:

Originally Posted by Edolie

Well, there is a lot that I haven't mentioned...he doesn't like just anyone knowing, but I'm sure that none of you know him anyway. He has severe OCD (obsessive Compulsive Disorder

That's 95% of our membership!
I know he's one of us.
I know for sure it's not Crono, he would have hit every hole in your body.....and then pee on you.

Wait....it's Clemson, but no...he's sounds like he suffers from the Ihavasmallpenis disease.

Posted by: Irons77

minO, why are you always playing around? Are you a detective or what? lol

Posted by: Yanick

SSRI's are known to decrease libido and inhibit orgasm. In fact its up their in the top reasons for noncompliance with medication regimens, along with sedation and insomnia (mostly just with prozac).

And if he is really OCD, he'd be on Inderal (Propanolol) or another Beta Blocker which decreases blood pressure and heart rate. While not directly involved in inhibiting orgasm, those two CV factors won't help when it comes to getting/staying hard and reaching orgasm.

It is also psychological. OCD is an anxiety disorder, if he starts to develop rituals in regards to sex you have to let him finish them and talk about it later and come up with ways to slowly decrease them over time. Not finishing rituals increases a person's anxiety through the roof when suffering from OCD. Anxiety and sex don't mix well at all.

Posted by: min0 lee

Quote:

Originally Posted by Irons77

minO, why are you always playing around? Are you a detective or what? lol

I was once told by a Detective to take the police exam, he said I had potential.

But how does one find the sex health forum in a body building site and start such a post.
Are you her boyfriend?

Posted by: Irons77

Quote:

Originally Posted by min0 lee

I was once told by a Detective to take the police exam, he said I had potential.

But how does one find the sex health forum in a body building site and start such a post.
Are you her boyfriend?

No I'm not that fucked up. A chick put her pride-n-joy in front of me,I'm either eating or fuckin it. Unless it doesn't smell right, but that's another topic

Posted by: NeilPearson

Quote:

Originally Posted by Edolie

He has severe OCD (obsessive Compulsive Disorder), which is why he takes the zoloft and anxiety meds. It slows down his train of thought and makes it easier for him to make it through the day.

Run, you don't need that in your life. I know I have a family member with OCD.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Edolie

Since I first met him, he has changed a lot. He doesn't do as much of the OCD stuff as he used to and has started to travel again...which hasn't happened in around three years..

Of course he has. That's what kids do at that age.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Edolie

Beh, there is way to much to describe it on here. I only bothered because you don't just throw something like this away because of sex problems.

Of course you do. If you are having sex problems at 24 and aren't even married or living together... it is time to pack it in. This is the time in the relationship that you should be banging it out every day.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Edolie

We do have chemistry, we love spending time together...he can't stand being away from me for one night. If there is such a thing as true love, then this is it. I don't want to get all gushy, but that's just it. Before, I thought that I would never meet someone. Sure, he's odd, but he is an amazing person.

Oh my god, I think I am going to puke. Everyone thinks the same way you do. "We are in love. Our love is a special kind of love, nobody else could possibly understand. We truely love each other and we are going to make it!" Everyone says that. It is not all that uncommon. You never thought you would meet someone? Please, I gaurantee you that you will feel this way about someone else someday and with the next one, he will have sex with you and you won't have to worry about his OCD.

50% of marriages end up in divorce. Every single one of them felt that they were in love and were the exception to the rule. Now many will say, "yeah but 50% don't end in divorce." Guess what... out of that 50% how many are truely happy and how many stay together because of kids, family, financial or religious pressures? Don't fool yourself into thinking marriage works 50% just because they don't divorce.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Edolie

Anyway, we got into a bit of a spat because he started kissing and groping me when I actually didn't want him to. I said, "You don't want to do that any other time...why now?" and it just continued from there. Later on he said that he was sorry for being an asshole and said, "I'm scared, that's the only reason." My anger hadn't yet worn off at that point, so I couldn't make myself ask him what he meant, but there ya go. I'll probably ask him later tonight when we get home.

If you are fighting like this, it is time to go and find someone else that you can be happy with instead of fighting and worrying about sex issues

Posted by: tomuchgear

sorry neil my wife and i have had our ups and downs almost got divorced. we are still together today becouse we love each other. my adopted parents are still together becouse they love each other. problem with marraige today is that no one wants to put in the work. if you let things get bouring or dont take time for one another then yes your life together will suck. i do agree that it sounds like her relationship is at its breaking point and its time to move on.

Posted by: NeilPearson

Quote:

Originally Posted by tomuchgear

sorry neil my wife and i have had our ups and downs almost got divorced. we are still together today becouse we love each other. my adopted parents are still together becouse they love each other. problem with marraige today is that no one wants to put in the work. if you let things get bouring or dont take time for one another then yes your life together will suck. i do agree that it sounds like her relationship is at its breaking point and its time to move on.

Great 2 marriages that worked (with up and downs and almost getting divorced. That doesn't sound like fun)... that doesn't change the stats.

That's right, I am not interested in putting in 'work' with a wife... I tried that and it is no fun and it is pointless. There are no benefits to it and it is a pain in the ass. I would much rather have fun with my girlfriends than work with my wife.

The best part of a relationship is the dating and getting to know someone... after that it is all downhill. No thanks, I will stick with the fun part

Posted by: tomuchgear

that is fine and it may work for you. my wife and i are happy finaly becouse we put in the work. yes ups and downs do really suck. i would not trade it for any thing though every time we have come out stronger. the problem with marriage is that so much changes as time goes on. wether or not you change with it is up to you. either way i say do what you need to be happy.

Posted by: Mudge

If he is a big guy and has a problem cumming, its going to be extra rough on you - in other words I don't expect he'll ever finish inside of you for awhile. My current girl and I both last a long time, to where 5 hours is not abnormal (yes, lots of foreplay) but it starts to get to the point of pain for her even though she pumps out a lot of juice.

If things sound this uncomfortable between you two already, it sounds like you are kind of pushing it. Then again of he's had his cock in your mouth obviously he wants something.

P.S. I'm not a big fan of condoms either

but he should be showing you papers if he was around all that much, STDs/HPV etc can mess up your life.

Posted by: Plateau_Max

There are some things about him that don't exactly jive. He says he's scared of having sex with you, yet you have given him a blow job... so what is it about honest to god intercourse that has him so worried?

I had OCD myself (yes you can get rid of it), and a big part of it is a comfort level. When you have an obsessive habit of doing something a certain way it's your mind's comfort in knowing you can predict a result. Trying something new leaves open the possibility for things to go bad and when your whole life is that way it's often a result of abuse at a young age (as in my case). The reason I took the time to explain that, is it's strange he would be taking medication like zoloft to fight it because OCD almost always prevents you from wanting to take any kind of medication period, let alone ones that aren't specifically designed for the condition. It took a lot of personal therapy (therapy with out a therapist basically) and tricks... as well as a lot of time and patience for me to overcome OCD.

If it's true he has had sex before, then the anxiety over having sex for the first time is out of the question. If he was truly worried about being intimate with you on a sexual level then the groping, making out, blow job stuff would be out of the question. It seems everything you list for a possible reason for him to not want to have sex, has a contradiction.

There is either something you're not telling us, or something he's not telling you.

Posted by: Zaphod

Zoloft is used for depression, OCD, post-traumatic stress and one or two other things that escape me at the moment. I can attest to the OCD and depression parts, having been on it myself at one time.

Some of the possible side effects include sex problems, mostly with being able to finish. Sex drive can also be affected, but from what you say it isn't affecting him that way.

You need to get the straight story from him. There's probably more mental baggage than he's letting on.

Posted by: Mudge

Quote:

Originally Posted by NeilPearson

The best part of a relationship is the dating and getting to know someone... after that it is all downhill. No thanks, I will stick with the fun part

That depends on who you spend your time with, not saying its easy because I've done the 'work' shit too and I don't like it. Having to work through one or two issues is one thing, but a nagging bytch is completely another.

Been there, done that, not my style. I'm easy going and prefer the same.

Posted by: NFOMan

Several iof I\ve had my messages modified by the moniters of this forum
- shitheads!\

These are jerks who are their own crap.

This only demonstrates how immuatrure the's guys are.

I'm on to a mature crowd.

Happy healthy sexx

NOMan

Posted by: min0 lee

Quote:

Originally Posted by NFOMan

Several iof I\ve had my messages modified by the moniters of this forum
- shitheads!\

These are jerks who are their own crap.

This only demonstrates how immuatrure the's guys are.

I'm on to a mature crowd.

Happy healthy sexx

NOMan

What did you do?

Posted by: kid007

Well he must understand your feelings first , sex is another thing which is also important but the relationship do not only stands because of sex...

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