Taking Control 2

atherjen · 04-11-2004, 12:41 PM

sounds like a SUPER plan Jillybean!!!

Have a great time with the family too!

**Jodi** · 04-11-2004, 12:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jill
Thanks Jodi! Having any treats today?

jstar · 04-11-2004, 02:03 PM

Hi Jill!

Happy Easter!

Have fun at granny's!

naturaltan · 04-12-2004, 06:49 AM

How is it working for you Jill? You'll get used to the amount of food you have to eat. Once your metabolism kicks in, all will be good.

5HTP can be bought at any health food store. The missus has some ...

Jill · 04-12-2004, 08:41 AM

Hey Nt! Its pretty easy. I think I can actually incorperate my p pancakes! (sub list) Why do you think my cals are so high? (2100) Im at a 55/45 split. Ive also been rearanging the meals-125cals at one and 561 is messed. Im taking some of the cals from the big meal and putting them into the small meals. Try eating 400 protein cals, and Im sure you'd wanna puke too! im keeping cals the same.

Stacey · 04-12-2004, 11:19 AM

Hey Jill!! Just caught up on your journal!!

I'm glad that you can break up that protein with your meals..that was an awful lot!!

Hope you had a great Easter!!

greekblondechic · 04-12-2004, 11:40 AM

I miss my twin! I think perhaps the high calories is good because it should prevent binges...which is way worse!

****MUAHHHHHHH**** that's not incest, is it?

jstar · 04-12-2004, 11:57 AM

Hey Jill!

That is good they said you can split up the protein. I think by bumping up your calories to 2100 for a bit you will notice less of an urge to binge, I know I do when my calories are around maintenance

Hope your having a great day!

Jill · 04-12-2004, 12:42 PM

Thanks J-star and Greeky!

Once again I am a failure. I dont want anybody to post and say "no Jill, you are not a failure or a quitter", cause Its true, and I accept that. I accept that my life revolves around food

Last night some deep issues from my past came up....I hadnt realized how deep I had burried these thoughts. Steves dad is a deep person, the most spirtual person one could ever meet. Talking to him is better than any shrink, for real. Ive been crying for hours off and on, and have came to relization that I have been hiding under my weight for ever. I have deep wounds from my past that need to heal-I need to get in touch with my emotions before I can get this weight thing right. I do not love myself-not enough anywase which is why I can not get this whole 'self esteem' thing right either.

My goal is to heal emotionally and mentally, rather than physically, which will come when the inside is healed. I dont expect anyone to undertand. But the outside is something that just covers up what I have been hiding inside for years. Its not about the food-I dont know why I sabotage weight loss, that is something I am trying to figure out.

Diets work-I know I can stick with the plan, Im just going to focus more on my "mental" state than anything. I can not concentrate ALL my efforts on food, counting cals etc.. when I need to heal from the inside first. The outside will then come..

atherjen · 04-12-2004, 12:50 PM

JIllybean- you are such a smart woman-no matter what you say, I would never think you were a failure. we ALL deal with some sort of emotional imbalances and whatnot, and with a lot of ppl we try and let other things in life be more important first so we feel we can control something at least.. you are defintly on the right path sweetie, getting intouch with your inner self and what YOU truly need in life for self-peace and happiness is far more important than what we see on the outside. Your are truly a beautiful woman!!!

Im very proud of you for taking the right steps to your happiness hun-your deserve only the best!

greekblondechic · 04-12-2004, 02:17 PM

Jilly, I love you, and I do understand. Gotta heal the inside before fixing the outside.

Stacey · 04-12-2004, 03:29 PM

Sending Hugs your way!!!!

sara · 04-12-2004, 03:37 PM

Jill, I didn't read everything you posted.. I just read the first paragraph saying that you are a faliure... Listen to me hon.. everyone thinks that he or she is a faliure.. but we are not.. No one is a faliure, you know why? because we keep on trying and won't give up.. I would say I'm a faliure because I binged for 3 months.. but no, I'm not a faliure and YOU are not a faliure.. just keep trying and you would be successful

Jill · 04-12-2004, 06:42 PM

Ladies-Thanks for always being there, I know I can count on my girls!

I had a wicked back workout with Steve today. He pushes me like crazy, I am feeling it already in my lats....

. 45mins of kick ass cardio-the only thing is since Ive been doing more cardio today my knees have been acting up. Went for groceries and other house stuff-bought some 'easter' chocolate and ate it! (since I didnt have a thiing yesterday..) Wallymart was a ZOO! What was I thinking!

Steve is going to be so happy when he gets home-I made him lasagna! Its actually really healthy-ww noodles, lf cottage cheese and moza cheese, and ext lean beef! I may even have a slice tomorrow!

I feel a little bit more at peace with myself today...

Stacey · 04-12-2004, 06:47 PM

Hey darlin' ~ your lasagna sounds YUMMY!

Sounds like u had a great workout..and I'm glad you feel a little more Peace!!

Omg.. I bet wallyworld was nuts. I ran in there on friday and it was a NIGHTMARE!! Uggg!

Jill · 04-12-2004, 07:02 PM

Stacey · 04-12-2004, 07:04 PM

Oh Yum!! I could dig it to that girl!! It Looks SO Pretty though..hehehe!!

greekblondechic · 04-12-2004, 07:05 PM

what a gorgeous stove/kitchen! Im glad ur feelin better sweetie

Jill · 04-12-2004, 07:29 PM

Thanks! ANyone watch the swan? I luuuuuuuuvvvvvvv makeover shows!

Stacey · 04-12-2004, 07:31 PM

I Love the Swan!! My hubbie is hogging the Big screen though--I could go in my room and watch it though! Is it on now?? crud!!

Stacey · 04-12-2004, 07:44 PM

Jill-- Oh my gosh that Kristy girl on THE SWAN made me cry!!! She looks Soooo prettttty!!! I love her hair too!!

awwwwwww!

JLB001 · 04-12-2004, 07:45 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jill
Yum!

...I don't get none.

Jill · 04-12-2004, 08:20 PM

Dont worry Jodie, Ill eat a piece for ya!

I like postin pics like you do, its fun! Im gonna do it more often now!

Stacey, ya Kristie looked so good on the swan. I wish I could get lipo and boobies for free!

The only thing about these makeover shows is that the people have such low self esteem, the need to fix the problem inside first, IMO. The still will have crapy husbands and low paying jobs even though they have big nockers and no gut!

greekblondechic · 04-12-2004, 08:25 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jill
The only thing about these makeover shows is that the people have such low self esteem, the need to fix the problem inside first, IMO. The still will have crapy husbands and low paying jobs even though they have big nockers and no gut!

AMEN!

Jill · 04-12-2004, 08:27 PM

Greeky-did you check out that site yet?

Stacey · 04-12-2004, 09:00 PM

Jill I was thinking the same thing when watching the show. They may be pretty on the outsides now..but too me the hardest thing ever is believing in yourself and taking care of the insides!!!

I know..I wish someone had paid for my boobs..lol!!

greekblondechic · 04-12-2004, 09:01 PM

Yea but I had to register then wait til they activate my account

I think I remember that diet.. I thought it was pretty crazy..

Jill · 04-12-2004, 09:05 PM

I think it would be very easy to follow Greeky.

atherjen · 04-13-2004, 07:13 AM

LOVE the stove!!!!!!!!!!

damn you must have a real nice kitchen!!!
I love pics too-I just started to post more

that lasagna looks good! eat some for me!!

04-11-2004, 12:41 PM	#361
atherjen DS Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: MS Posts: 5,757	sounds like a SUPER plan Jillybean!!! Have a great time with the family too!
	" To dream anything you want to dream: That is the beauty of the human mind. To do anything you want to do: That is the strength of the human will. To trust yourself to test your limits: that is the courage to succeed." NPC Southern Classic, June 3rd NPC Cajun Classic, June 10th NPC Mississippi State July 22nd

04-12-2004, 06:49 AM	#364
naturaltan Going nowhere fast! Elite Member Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 9,927 Photos: 7	How is it working for you Jill? You'll get used to the amount of food you have to eat. Once your metabolism kicks in, all will be good. 5HTP can be bought at any health food store. The missus has some ...
	just kick'in it in the ole Charger

04-12-2004, 11:19 AM	#366
Stacey Registered User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Cypress, Texas Posts: 10,589 Photos: 23	Hey Jill!! Just caught up on your journal!! I'm glad that you can break up that protein with your meals..that was an awful lot!! Hope you had a great Easter!!
	I Believe in the Impossible!!!

04-12-2004, 12:50 PM	#370
atherjen DS Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: MS Posts: 5,757	JIllybean- you are such a smart woman-no matter what you say, I would never think you were a failure. we ALL deal with some sort of emotional imbalances and whatnot, and with a lot of ppl we try and let other things in life be more important first so we feel we can control something at least.. you are defintly on the right path sweetie, getting intouch with your inner self and what YOU truly need in life for self-peace and happiness is far more important than what we see on the outside. Your are truly a beautiful woman!!! Im very proud of you for taking the right steps to your happiness hun-your deserve only the best!
	" To dream anything you want to dream: That is the beauty of the human mind. To do anything you want to do: That is the strength of the human will. To trust yourself to test your limits: that is the courage to succeed." NPC Southern Classic, June 3rd NPC Cajun Classic, June 10th NPC Mississippi State July 22nd

04-12-2004, 03:29 PM	#372
Stacey Registered User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Cypress, Texas Posts: 10,589 Photos: 23	Sending Hugs your way!!!!
	I Believe in the Impossible!!!

04-11-2004, 02:03 PM	#363
jstar Registered User Join Date: May 2002 Location: MA Posts: 1,332 Photos: 5	Hi Jill! Happy Easter! Have fun at granny's!

04-12-2004, 08:41 AM	#365
Jill Back to reality Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Re-Motivated Posts: 5,861	Hey Nt! Its pretty easy. I think I can actually incorperate my p pancakes! (sub list) Why do you think my cals are so high? (2100) Im at a 55/45 split. Ive also been rearanging the meals-125cals at one and 561 is messed. Im taking some of the cals from the big meal and putting them into the small meals. Try eating 400 protein cals, and Im sure you'd wanna puke too! im keeping cals the same.

04-12-2004, 11:40 AM	#367
greekblondechic I'm special :) Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: NJ Posts: 7,791	I miss my twin! I think perhaps the high calories is good because it should prevent binges...which is way worse! **MUAHHHHHHH** that's not incest, is it?

04-12-2004, 11:57 AM	#368
jstar Registered User Join Date: May 2002 Location: MA Posts: 1,332 Photos: 5	Hey Jill! That is good they said you can split up the protein. I think by bumping up your calories to 2100 for a bit you will notice less of an urge to binge, I know I do when my calories are around maintenance Hope your having a great day!

04-12-2004, 12:42 PM	#369
Jill Back to reality Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Re-Motivated Posts: 5,861	Thanks J-star and Greeky! Once again I am a failure. I dont want anybody to post and say "no Jill, you are not a failure or a quitter", cause Its true, and I accept that. I accept that my life revolves around food Last night some deep issues from my past came up....I hadnt realized how deep I had burried these thoughts. Steves dad is a deep person, the most spirtual person one could ever meet. Talking to him is better than any shrink, for real. Ive been crying for hours off and on, and have came to relization that I have been hiding under my weight for ever. I have deep wounds from my past that need to heal-I need to get in touch with my emotions before I can get this weight thing right. I do not love myself-not enough anywase which is why I can not get this whole 'self esteem' thing right either. My goal is to heal emotionally and mentally, rather than physically, which will come when the inside is healed. I dont expect anyone to undertand. But the outside is something that just covers up what I have been hiding inside for years. Its not about the food-I dont know why I sabotage weight loss, that is something I am trying to figure out. Diets work-I know I can stick with the plan, Im just going to focus more on my "mental" state than anything. I can not concentrate ALL my efforts on food, counting cals etc.. when I need to heal from the inside first. The outside will then come..

04-12-2004, 02:17 PM	#371
greekblondechic I'm special :) Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: NJ Posts: 7,791	Jilly, I love you, and I do understand. Gotta heal the inside before fixing the outside.

04-12-2004, 03:37 PM	#373
sara cRaZy!!! Elite Member Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Earth Posts: 6,304 Photos: 2	Jill, I didn't read everything you posted.. I just read the first paragraph saying that you are a faliure... Listen to me hon.. everyone thinks that he or she is a faliure.. but we are not.. No one is a faliure, you know why? because we keep on trying and won't give up.. I would say I'm a faliure because I binged for 3 months.. but no, I'm not a faliure and YOU are not a faliure.. just keep trying and you would be successful
	www.metzgerbodies.net www.myspace.com/smbdybldr

04-12-2004, 06:42 PM	#374
Jill Back to reality Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Re-Motivated Posts: 5,861	Ladies-Thanks for always being there, I know I can count on my girls! I had a wicked back workout with Steve today. He pushes me like crazy, I am feeling it already in my lats.... . 45mins of kick ass cardio-the only thing is since Ive been doing more cardio today my knees have been acting up. Went for groceries and other house stuff-bought some 'easter' chocolate and ate it! (since I didnt have a thiing yesterday..) Wallymart was a ZOO! What was I thinking! Steve is going to be so happy when he gets home-I made him lasagna! Its actually really healthy-ww noodles, lf cottage cheese and moza cheese, and ext lean beef! I may even have a slice tomorrow! I feel a little bit more at peace with myself today...

04-12-2004, 06:47 PM	#375
Stacey Registered User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Cypress, Texas Posts: 10,589 Photos: 23	Hey darlin' ~ your lasagna sounds YUMMY! Sounds like u had a great workout..and I'm glad you feel a little more Peace!! Omg.. I bet wallyworld was nuts. I ran in there on friday and it was a NIGHTMARE!! Uggg!
	I Believe in the Impossible!!!

04-12-2004, 07:04 PM	#377
Stacey Registered User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Cypress, Texas Posts: 10,589 Photos: 23	Oh Yum!! I could dig it to that girl!! It Looks SO Pretty though..hehehe!!
	I Believe in the Impossible!!!

04-12-2004, 07:05 PM	#378
greekblondechic I'm special :) Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: NJ Posts: 7,791	what a gorgeous stove/kitchen! Im glad ur feelin better sweetie

04-12-2004, 07:29 PM	#379
Jill Back to reality Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Re-Motivated Posts: 5,861	Thanks! ANyone watch the swan? I luuuuuuuuvvvvvvv makeover shows!

04-12-2004, 07:31 PM	#380
Stacey Registered User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Cypress, Texas Posts: 10,589 Photos: 23	I Love the Swan!! My hubbie is hogging the Big screen though--I could go in my room and watch it though! Is it on now?? crud!!
	I Believe in the Impossible!!!

04-12-2004, 07:44 PM	#381
Stacey Registered User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Cypress, Texas Posts: 10,589 Photos: 23	Jill-- Oh my gosh that Kristy girl on THE SWAN made me cry!!! She looks Soooo prettttty!!! I love her hair too!! awwwwwww!
	I Believe in the Impossible!!!

04-12-2004, 08:20 PM	#383
Jill Back to reality Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Re-Motivated Posts: 5,861	Dont worry Jodie, Ill eat a piece for ya! I like postin pics like you do, its fun! Im gonna do it more often now! Stacey, ya Kristie looked so good on the swan. I wish I could get lipo and boobies for free! The only thing about these makeover shows is that the people have such low self esteem, the need to fix the problem inside first, IMO. The still will have crapy husbands and low paying jobs even though they have big nockers and no gut!

04-12-2004, 08:27 PM	#385
Jill Back to reality Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Re-Motivated Posts: 5,861	Greeky-did you check out that site yet?

04-12-2004, 09:00 PM	#386
Stacey Registered User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Cypress, Texas Posts: 10,589 Photos: 23	Jill I was thinking the same thing when watching the show. They may be pretty on the outsides now..but too me the hardest thing ever is believing in yourself and taking care of the insides!!! I know..I wish someone had paid for my boobs..lol!!
	I Believe in the Impossible!!!

04-12-2004, 09:01 PM	#387
greekblondechic I'm special :) Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: NJ Posts: 7,791	Yea but I had to register then wait til they activate my account I think I remember that diet.. I thought it was pretty crazy..

04-12-2004, 09:05 PM	#388
Jill Back to reality Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Re-Motivated Posts: 5,861	I think it would be very easy to follow Greeky.

04-13-2004, 07:13 AM	#389
atherjen DS Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: MS Posts: 5,757	LOVE the stove!!!!!!!!!! damn you must have a real nice kitchen!!! I love pics too-I just started to post more that lasagna looks good! eat some for me!!
	" To dream anything you want to dream: That is the beauty of the human mind. To do anything you want to do: That is the strength of the human will. To trust yourself to test your limits: that is the courage to succeed." NPC Southern Classic, June 3rd NPC Cajun Classic, June 10th NPC Mississippi State July 22nd