jstar

by the way you are a month behind - it's 5/10 not 4/10 silly girl

sorry that was a stupid post!

greekblondechic

Don't we all wish we could turn back time sometimes??

I can do it

I WILL be a size 5.

myCATpowerlifts

HI JILL!
sorry i havent stopped in to say hi lately....

Jill

Ive been having some issues lately, my diet hasn't been so great.... Today I was almost in tears when I looked at myself in the gym mirrors-FUCK I have let myself go....I look horrible. I havent looked this bad since I was like 15, agggggggggg! I am putting my foot down once and for all..... Im going to set some REALISTIC goals, and take control of my life. I am just unhappy with how I look, and am sick of this 'same' post every few weeks.

Im just at a loss for words how I feel. Its not about how bad I want to lose weight-Its more about healing my mind, emotions, and then my body will follow. Its about changing me for the better.

Jill

Im eating my life away, litterally.....Any input would be appreciated.

Stacey

Greeky you are sooo damn funnnnny!! I like both of those the best

I Believe in the Impossible!!!

Stacey

Jill, I really don't know what to say..except that I wish I could give you a really big hug. You know your not doing bad. The average person in this world eats a bad lunch and a bad dinner--look at all the people we work with..and all that junk they put into their mouths. What you eat is much better for you and so healthy. Just sometimes there are slipups. I have my own slips also (Its always with chocolate go figure)... Don't be so down. You are such a pretty girl and deserve to be happy. Think about yourself compared to all the others out there in the world. I think whats wrong with you and I is that we are comparing ourselves to these girls that compete and are bodybuilders. They have been doing this for a long time. If thats what you want though.. I know you will get there, but first you have to heal your emotions. You never know..they could have (the figure models/fitness comp. girls) gone through all this shit also.
I hate to see you down yourself so hard. Your such a awesome girl and you have so much going for you. Don't be sad. Just take it slow.

Hugs to you. ( I hope some of that makes scense..haha)

I Believe in the Impossible!!!

Jill

You are really sweet Stacey, I love your post.

I too think that is unrealistic for me to achieve / maintain a 'fitness' models look. I aim for goals that are just too hard for me to achieve, and ive always been like that. Tiny steps Im taking to heal me.

Thanks again Stacey.

atherjen

WOW Stace that is an AWESOME post!!!
I'll say ditto!

JIllybean you have the right mindset hun, do what you know suits YOU and makes you a happy individuel! we are all diff, thats what makes us each unique! if we were all the same then the world would be a pretty boring place eh!

hope your having a good day! its freezhig here in NB!

" To dream anything you want to dream: That is the beauty of the human mind. To do anything you want to do: That is the strength of the human will. To trust yourself to test your limits: that is the courage to succeed."

NPC Southern Classic, June 3rd
NPC Cajun Classic, June 10th
NPC Mississippi State July 22nd

Stacey

Thanks Jill & Jen~
Jill you deserve that post totally. I meant every word. I'm like you.. I want to look just like those girls..but with me its just going to have to take awhile. I WANT the look..but I'm finally realizing that It's going to take hard work, and lots of starting overs.. LoL..but its okay.. Eventually we will get it down.

Don't say it's unrealistic for you to achieve the goals you want.. it's totally not. It will just take some time. With you and me both. I'm fighting my cramps from the Endometriosis on a daily basis now..and pushing myself to get to the gym..(I hate powerwalking with a stabbing pain in my ovaries..but I DO Not want to loose the strength I have gained, and I do not want to be lazy, and I do want that extra piece of chocolate..LOL..so I walk it off) I'm fighting food too. Just gotta take it Very Slow --and always remember that you are working hard, no matter what your mind is saying to you.. you are!!!

Love ya girlie~ Hugs to you~ And Smile!!!!

I Believe in the Impossible!!!

greekblondechic

*HUGS*

Sweetie, I dunno what to say..

I just truly want to see you be happy. You have such a good heart and a great personality and you're gorgeous to boot. I wish it was easier for people to see what they have going for them.

I agree you have to heal the inside girl, I have the same issue! Just think, if binging is what makes you gain weight and be unhappy, and you eliminate it from your life, how much easier things will be to change. Please follow the book with me, it's really important to put healing the inside first before trying to work on the outside. I know that we both can do it and I just want you to know that anything you need, just ask I am here for you. I know I can overcome this and you're my twin so I'm SURE you can too. It IS tough to get a fitness model body. Those girls do ridiculous amounts of cardio! But more importantly, they try to take care of their insides too. I'm sure a LOT of fitness girls have overcome ED's or just being overweight. You can read their stories...you'd be surprised. I do think that a lot of them probably still have some emotional baggage, but I think if the emotional baggage is tied to binge eating, that MUST be taken care of before anything else.

For me, I'm working on overcoming the binge eating first and foremost by using the book and adapting it to fit me best. I am trying to eat clean and stay within my calories, but I am not going to beat myself up if I eat less than perfect. Just by eliminating binge eating alone, my weight should start to go down.

Then, when I stop the problem behavior (binging) I am going to try to explore deeper as to why things happen, why I am the way I am, and so on. However I think for me it's more important to get rid of the binging FIRST, and then look deeper for the root causes. When I sort those all out, I know I will be able to truly set my mind to my goals and stick to them w/o making myself mess up. Like Tom Venuto said, it's like we have this internal image, and if we start to stray from it, we will subconciously do stuff to get us BACK to that image (ex: binging when you start to lose weight) This was CLEAR AS DAY to me when I said to myself oh wow, I think I'm FINALLY starting to lose weight.. and what did i do that night and the next day.. you guessed it.. Binge! and this has happened to me COUNTLESS times before.

It is absolutely positively more important to heal on the inside first. Have to stop the binging, and also replace negative thoughts with positive ones. I know we can do it, 100%

The extra weight we are carrying is emotional weight once we get those emotions under control, the weight will have no way to stay.. it will melt off!!!

Deep down, I know you know you can do this, even if your current state of sadness makes you think otherwise. All I ask of u is to keep supporting me as you have been so wonderfully doing, and HAVE FAITH IN YOURSELF.

And to think, I started out not knowing what to say..

Love ya baby,

Vivvy

I can do it

I WILL be a size 5.

Jill

The support here is great, thanks to all ya ladies. Im going to start a new journal. I just need a new start.

Jill

Greeky, you do know what to say. You have deff come along way lately, you are going deeper than I have yet. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your insight and opinions.

The book is really good-Im making some connections, and cant wait to start the 'self help' part. There is one part that says people dont want to stop binging, they've just accepted it as a part of life. I dont want that to be me any more. I wish I had the book here at work. The thing is that I read the book, but I cant rely on it to fix me, Im going to have deal with this once and for all.

I think something we could do for one another is that if you find a good page / passage, let me know, and i will do the same for you darlin. The itallic passages are very easy to relate to also.

Thanks again sis

Jenny

Hey Jill,

Sweetie, I'm so sorry this thing is still bothering you. I really don't know what to tell you, it's hard to find the right words. It really has to come from the inside of you and I know that you really really want to stop this, but something still hasn't clicked inside to make you stop. Sometimes we just need to tell ourself "Get over it, you're not eating that, deal with it". Sometimes we get so wraped up in the thought "I'm a binger" that it leads to binging. Like "oh well, I binge, so let's have a binge". Do you recognize this? Well, it was like that for me at least. I'm trying to remember what helped me get out of it... Hmmm.. Well, I guess it was that feeling that I really wanted to change my body, and knowing that what I put in it would keep me from doing that. But you already know that. I guess I stopped thinking "I'm a binger, there's something wrong with me", cause I think those thoughts alone made me binge a lot of the times.
Sweetie, I wish I could help more, cause I really want to see you happy How is Steve with all of this? Is he helping? Please try not to push him away. I did that with my ex when I was in a bad state and it just got really ugly.

Jillsan, I'm here for you. Let me know if there's anything I can do for you

Jenny

Stace, I loved this post It made me remember not to compare myself with those girls too much You're such a sweetie