cajunFit

Ok.....I figured it was time to post a journal. I dont know if I'll post much of my diet or training, this will be more about my rollercoaster ride of emotions on competing for the first time.

I am actually 4 weeks out.. Comp is May 29 and I am not quite sure if I am ready emotionally and I guess you could say psycologically too.

Right now I am having my doubts. I have started to cheat more (which I have always been good about) I just need to keep my head straight.

Anyway I would love to hear about some first time experiences on competing too.

I would also like to say a BIG THANK YOU to Jodie You have been such a wonderful help to me.

Var

Good luck Cajun!

But when you disarm them, you at once offend them by showing that you distrust them, either for cowardice or for want of loyalty, and either of these opinions breeds hatred against you.

-N. Machiavelli

cajunFit

Thanks Var

Monolith

Best of luck, Cajun!

And no more cheating.

http://www.ncf.carleton.ca/~ek867/dexamyl.jpg

atherjen

Go CaJun!!!!
you will do wonderful, you look incredible now!! no need to doubt yourself girl!! Everything Im seeing looks perfect!
best of luck, Ill def be following!

" To dream anything you want to dream: That is the beauty of the human mind. To do anything you want to do: That is the strength of the human will. To trust yourself to test your limits: that is the courage to succeed."

NPC Southern Classic, June 3rd
NPC Cajun Classic, June 10th
NPC Mississippi State July 22nd

Jill

You are stunning!!!!! Love the avi! Great transformation in your gallery pics. Any tips or strategies??

Good luck on your comp!

gwcaton

It's about time ! You are doing incredible ! Wow only 4 weeks You will do great !

My Last Journal Before The One You're Reading Now
Old Journals :
My P/RR/S Journal
My GWcaton Journal
My Bulking Journal

Just remember, when you think you're done you've just started . DEADBOLT . 2005

cajunFit

Monolith.....I will try not to cheat anymore

Atherjen & Jill.....thanks for the support

Jill...the transformation.....hmmmm....I have 4 kids (one is a stepson) I gained over 80 lbs with my 1st, 75 lbs w/ 2nd, and 65 w/3rd. I have been through alot girl......even became anorexic for about a yr in 95. Lots of determination and will power is my driving force now.

cajunFit

Thanks gwcaton

My mistake it was in 94 (started becoming anorexic)....then I gained all of it back with my 2nd child in 95-96.

maniclion

No doubts about it you are looking excellent in the pics I see. You definitely need to give some details on how you made such a u-turn from that '96 pic if anything to give others inspiration to do the same. You really blow my mind how good you look. Just go out their and strut your stuff. You know you got it, so flaunt it.

cajunFit

Maniclion.....you are too funny...easier said than done. Oh and BTW I finally posted a close up shot. Is that better for you?

Monolith

Can we get more closeups?

http://www.ncf.carleton.ca/~ek867/dexamyl.jpg

cajunFit

Monolith....those didnt scare you enough?

greekblondechic

You look GREAT girl, your transformation is motivation for us still trying to get there.

maniclion

Yes it was much better than that satellite shot.

cajunFit

Maniclion.....Hold up a minute I dont see any pics of you in your gallery.....hmmmm...I may have satellite pics but atleast I have some LOL

BTW what kind of dogs? I love my Bully.

cajunFit

Ok seriously, for those of you who have competed.....Did you do the first show you said you would do? Did you back out and do a different show?

How did you feel the first time? My trainer tells me to stop being negative, its not so much negativity as it is confidence. I personally dont believe in myself yet. How do I get to that point?

Any advice is greatly appreciated.

cajunFit

Thank you.....its lots of will power, dedication. You look good yourself girl!!!!

maniclion

O.k I uploaded my IM comp. pics to my Gallery. Those little guys are called American Eskimos (German Spitz before WWII) they are super smart they used to be used in circus' to walk tight ropes and walk upright in clown outfit's.

maniclion

Look at your before pics and your afters, that would be enough of a confidence boost for me.

cajunFit

Ok Maniclion let me go check them out.

German spitz....now I know....arent they a bit rambuctious? I love my bully, she just lays around, drools, snores & passes gas lol. But boy she's got lots of personallity.

JLB001

Tanya....Ya gotta do the show you set out to do in the beginning! 4 weeks will pass quickly, don't sweat it just keep to your game plan. The last few weeks is more of a mental issue than the physical part, the self doubting, wondering if your gonna be ready and all kinds of things. You look awesome, you could get up there this weekend and do some serious damage as you are now. You have everything to be confident of!

And no more snacking! Send all snacks my way! I'll eat them for you! Oh wait...Umm, we will give them to the doggies. What have you been snacking on?

How did the doggies test come out? Puppies in 3 months??

"When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on."

cajunFit

Yes I have come a long way, however.....its been a long road, even though my outside has improved, I am the same person inside. I still see myself that way.

Believe me I wish it was that easy to have high self esteem or any for that matter, and I know I have to work on changing that myself.

I guess thats why I posted those recent pics, so I could get some opinions from people who would be honest with me. Not people who know me and are just trying to be nice.

I wanted to know if ya'll thought I would be ready in 4 weeks or should I wait. I just want honesty, I dont want to make a full of myself.

cajunFit

Hey Jodie!!!!!

Wow, you're bringing tears to my eyes. Yes I feel like its completely mental now, and its hard as hell.

Hmmm, my snacks.....lol, lets see a cookie today, a biscuit with jelly yesterday. Little things but more often than ever. I use to cheat once a week, now its more like 3-4 times (little cheats )

I was kinda bummed today at the vets, he said she looked prego but the xray showed nothing. The good thing is sometimes if the pups havent calcified yet you will not see them. She is due between May 15-17. So still saying lots of prayers.

My girlfriend who I show with, told me that she had one of her dogs xrayed and the vet said she had no puppies.....2 weeks later she had 5. She says you really cant trust them. I just wanted to know how many puppies.

JLB001

Does she look like she is getting bigger in the middle? If she is, would be nice to know so you can plan accordingly with buyers and such...

Ok..think of the cheats this way...if you eat something you shouldn't..Your trainer will know! Even when we think it won't be noticable, it is! I use to feel so guilty eatting one piece of hard candy until my old trainer said one piece won't kill you, just don't eat more than that one. Talk with your trainer and let him know your having urges to eat things you shouldn't to see if there is anything he will let you have like fruit or such. If all else fails...sf gum!

I'll PM you my number if you need to talk. I know how stressful the next few weeks can get. Plus your trying to balance family, work and doggies all at the sametime. Hang in there! The end is near!

"When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on."

cajunFit

Again Jodie a Big Thank You!!!

Yes its like a balancing act. 3 of my kids just started baseball/softball. My hubby and I are coaching my sons Tball team. So the stress factor is enormous!!! and in the fact of my dog (yes she looks huge, nipples hanging and all) being prego, coaching, owning a business, did I say kids yet LOL.

Thanks for all the support Jodie.

Oh and one other thing, the girl who was suppose to make my suit (my brothers friend, what a joke) isnt coming through for me. I just purchased a used one piece today. Still frantically looking for a two piece......ugghhhh the stress.

JLB001

I ordered a plain suit from http://www.bodytecfitness.com/2PcDecorated.html. Jstar has ordered her two from them with the stones. But you would have to order soon from there, they take about two to three weeks to come in. Babsie on here had a post awhile back that had links. I'd get you Bonnie's number but she has been crazy busy working a real job in a fabric store and her Mom being sick so she hasn't been as easy to get in touch with. I'd send you one of mine, but I don't think my itty bitty minus A's would fit you in the top. Let me do some digging around...

"When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on."

Jenny

Cajun, please don't back out You look so amazing and you have worked so hard to get there, you need to strut your stuff in front of an audience