Thread: MonStar's Journal: Self-Control

9-5-2004

Upper Body

Flat DB Presses:
120's x 11!
120's x 9 (2)

Close-Grip Suspended BB Presses:
225 x 5
275 x 2 (2)
205 x 8 (2)

DB Front Raises:
50's x 8 (2)
60's x 8!

Pretty good workout tonight I guess. For whatever reason I felt really really foggy minded. I don't know what the f*ck the problem was. Whatever. Started off with flat BB presses that KILLED my damn shoulders. Really beat the sh*t outta' my shoulders completely. So I did some flat DB presses instead. These were pretty good. Actually hit the 120's for 12, but couldn't lockout my damn elbows on the 12th rep. Whatever.

Did some CG suspended BB presses, I absolutely LOVE them. The bar was placed about 1" off my chest. BTW, suspended bench is just benching from the bottom position. They're extremely hard, I want to add. Great sets though, to be honest. Worked up to 275 for 2 doubles. Not bad at all there today. Finished up with some DB front raises. Good sets.

Diet:
- MRP + 1% milk
- tuna & cheese sandwich, apple
- 2 honey glazed chicken breasts
- 1/2 whole-wheat peanut butter sandwich
- Gatorade + V-12 during workout
- whey protein postworkout
- chicken quesadillas, oriental chicken salad, 1 glass of white wine
- choclate cake, ice-cream
- cookies, fruit snacks, tortilla chips, 2% milk

Went on a somewhat binge tonight, DAMNIT. I don't know what caused this binge at all because I was in such a great mood. I honestly felt fat getting home from Applebee's. And I decided that I was going to start low-carb eating again. And told myself that I needed to cheat because I was starting a new diet. GODD*MNIT.

Did not go THAT crazy last night. But I honestly did have the binge mindset, and I ate about 20-25 cookies and 5-6 packs of fruit snacks, etc. Even though I didn't go freakishly out this pisses me off.

Sleep: 8 hours.

Weight: 225.5 lbs. Up a half a pound since the last time I weighed myself. Not too bad at all I don't think. I am not feel all that flabby at this point. I feel a little more flabby than I did since I started M1T, but I have been eating a ton, so this is expected.

Today is day 15 of M1T, still taking 15mg per day. Doing 10-12 sprays of 4-Derm today as well.

Today I started 4-Derm. Going to do 5-6 sprays 2x per day. Until the bottle runs out basically. Rubbing it into my chest after I scrub my chest with soap first. Just like the way I applied the S1+. I really honestly don't like topicals too much, but whatever. If it gets rid of the lethargy, foggy mindedness, I'll be happy.

Originally Posted by MonStar

9-5-2004

Upper Body

Flat DB Presses:
120's x 11!
120's x 9 (2)

Close-Grip Suspended BB Presses:
225 x 5
275 x 2 (2)
205 x 8 (2)

DB Front Raises:
50's x 8 (2)
60's x 8!

Pretty good workout tonight I guess. For whatever reason I felt really really foggy minded. I don't know what the f*ck the problem was. Whatever. Started off with flat BB presses that KILLED my damn shoulders. Really beat the sh*t outta' my shoulders completely. So I did some flat DB presses instead. These were pretty good. Actually hit the 120's for 12, but couldn't lockout my damn elbows on the 12th rep. Whatever.

Did some CG suspended BB presses, I absolutely LOVE them. The bar was placed about 1" off my chest. BTW, suspended bench is just benching from the bottom position. They're extremely hard, I want to add. Great sets though, to be honest. Worked up to 275 for 2 doubles. Not bad at all there today. Finished up with some DB front raises. Good sets.

Diet:
- MRP + 1% milk
- tuna & cheese sandwich, apple
- 2 honey glazed chicken breasts
- 1/2 whole-wheat peanut butter sandwich
- Gatorade + V-12 during workout
- whey protein postworkout
- ?

Sleep: 8 hours.

Weight: 225.5 lbs. Up a half a pound since the last time I weighed myself. Not too bad at all I don't think. I am not feel all that flabby at this point. I feel a little more flabby than I did since I started M1T, but I have been eating a ton, so this is expected.

Today is day 15 of M1T, still taking 15mg per day. Doing 10-12 sprays of 4-Derm today as well.

Today I started 4-Derm. Going to do 5-6 sprays 2x per day. Until the bottle runs out basically. Rubbing it into my chest after I scrub my chest with soap first. Just like the way I applied the S1+. I really honestly don't like topicals too much, but whatever. If it gets rid of the lethargy, foggy mindedness, I'll be happy.

Hey buddy, inspiring workout. I will catch up to you soon.... ..Ok, you can stop laughing now...It's not funny anymore....STOP
You post and I learn...Think that you are teaching a 35 year old....

Heya bro pic looks awsome...you def not flabby heh. Thats one hell of a workout there man, 120'sx11 is sick man. Now lets hope the 4-derm gets you out of that coma state crap heh.

Sorry for the confusion with your routine...all I saw was the "lower body" never thought of how your routine worked stupid me. I forgot you mix it up heh. I to love back, has to be my favorit day.....I think its b/c a big back just looks sick.

Man, I had not seen your before and after pictures. As I said to you earlier, you are teaching me. Any time you fell a binge coming, just look at your old photo.
I take my hat off. You have done an amazing job with yourself. I only pray that I can do the same. Congratulations, you should be proud

fantasma62: Hey man, thanks for stopping by, appreciate the support. I really don't have any before and after pictures so to speak. Just regular old progress pictures, nothing too exciting. It's funny that you say that because I binged last night. I'll explain in my journal entry how I felt, etc.

DeadBolt: Hey man, yeah I really really hope that this 4-Derm does get me out of this foggyminded state. I really havn't been on it long enough to tell at this point. But I am hoping that I see some good results. We'll see what happens. And I too absolutely love training back---I am obsessed with it. I have to agree that nothing compares to big well developed lats, IMO.

9-6-2004

Rest

Took a rest day today. Going to stop by the track tonight to do some cross-training. Feel pretty good today. Woke up this morning and did not feel flabby at all, and considering this is post-binge, I am surprised. I am going to evaluate how I was feeling

Last Night's Binge Evaluation:
Yesterday I binged. Well last night, around 3:00 AM roughly I started to pig out. It wasn't my typical all out feast, but I did have the binge mindset, etc. So it's a big step in the wrong direction. I feel like I was doing so so well and I have no idea at all what happened. I went to Applebee's last night, had some chicken quesadillas, a chicken salad, and some wine. Then I had half of a dessert.

Well for whatever reason after that I felt flabby. So I should have gone home and gone to bed. Instead I decided to tell myself that tomorrow I was going to start a low-carb diet. I have no idea why I decided this because I am halfway into a M1T cycle and I would never do a low-carb diet on M1T. Anyway, the weirdest part about this binge is that in my book on binging, it's hard to classify it. The different kinds of binge are:
- the hunger binge
- the deprivation binge
- the stress binge
- the opportunity binge
- the vengeful binge
- the pleasure binge
- the habit binge

For whatever reason, I am thinking that maybe it's somewhere in between the pleasure and the opportunity. Honestly I was in a GREAT mood and just laughing and feeling awesome on the phone with one of my friends when all this was happening. And I think opporunity because I was going to start a new diet the next day and I had a chance to pig out the night before. Whatever, I made it 14 full days binge-free. And my next little goal is to make it 21 days.

Diet:
- MRP + 1% milk
- whole-wheat turkey & cheese sandwich
- Trioplex bar
- whole-wheat tuna & cheese sandwich
- ?

Sleep: 6.5 hours.

Today is day 16 of M1T, still taking 15mg per day. Doing 10-12 sprays of 4-Derm today as well. So far I am feeling pretty damn good.

Originally Posted by MonStar

Last Night's Binge Evaluation:
Yesterday I binged. Well last night, around 3:00 AM roughly I started to pig out. It wasn't my typical all out feast, but I did have the binge mindset, etc. So it's a big step in the wrong direction. I feel like I was doing so so well and I have no idea at all what happened. I went to Applebee's last night, had some chicken quesadillas, a chicken salad, and some wine. Then I had half of a dessert.

Well for whatever reason after that I felt flabby. So I should have gone home and gone to bed. Instead I decided to tell myself that tomorrow I was going to start a low-carb diet. I have no idea why I decided this because I am halfway into a M1T cycle and I would never do a low-carb diet on M1T. Anyway, the weirdest part about this binge is that in my book on binging, it's hard to classify it. The different kinds of binge are:
- the hunger binge
- the deprivation binge
- the stress binge
- the opportunity binge
- the vengeful binge
- the pleasure binge
- the habit binge

For whatever reason, I am thinking that maybe it's somewhere in between the pleasure and the opportunity. Honestly I was in a GREAT mood and just laughing and feeling awesome on the phone with one of my friends when all this was happening. And I think opporunity because I was going to start a new diet the next day and I had a chance to pig out the night before. Whatever, I made it 14 full days binge-free. And my next little goal is to make it 21 days.

Diet:
- MRP + 1% milk
- ?

Sleep: 6.5 hours.

Today is day 16 of M1T, still taking 15mg per day. Doing 10-12 sprays of 4-Derm today as well. So far I am feeling pretty damn good.

Hey Monstar, I don't think you took a step on the wrong direction. You were happy and are still in a good mood. You basically came to terms with the fact that you binged and that you can fix it. That's what's more important. Before you were upset and unhappy and depressed about binging. Today you are feeling good, although maybe not so good stomachwise, I'm not sure about you, but if I eat that stuff at 3 am, I'd be sick to my stomach today. Then again I used to pig out on everything when I was younger (once I swallowed a quarter...guess what we were playing....but that's neither here no there )...
I would recommend to binge earlier in the day. It may affect your body differently and also the way you feel, although you feel good today about your binging yesterday. Congratulations on 14 days and look forward to congratulate you again in 21 days...
I am happy for you. You binged and are Ok, that's what counts. I hope the diet started off well

Originally Posted by MonStar

fantasma62: Hey man, thanks for stopping by, appreciate the support. I really don't have any before and after pictures so to speak. Just regular old progress pictures, nothing too exciting. It's funny that you say that because I binged last night. I'll explain in my journal entry how I felt, etc.

DeadBolt: Hey man, yeah I really really hope that this 4-Derm does get me out of this foggyminded state. I really havn't been on it long enough to tell at this point. But I am hoping that I see some good results. We'll see what happens. And I too absolutely love training back---I am obsessed with it. I have to agree that nothing compares to big well developed lats, IMO.

I was talking about your photo in December (chubby) to your photos today (not so chubby ). You have burned off the extra fat and kicked some real ass. If you sometimes feel flabby, get that off your mind.
If you want to cheat, go ahead and cheat. It may help you against binging....

I can relate to your feelings today-Im clasifying my cheats as a binge day too. I feel like shit. All I know if that this is more motivation to stay clean, and get back on track. (the way I feel today) It was only a day hon, just get back on track now. Im trying not to let the guilt get to me. Thanks for the birthday wishes.

I haven't been binging just eating a lot of crap here and there and I feel fat as hell (damn that being a woman thing) *HUGS* thats so good that you tried to analyze it, and even if you dont understand, awareness is one step closing to knowing how to deal with it!

fantasma62: Hey man, thanks a ton for stopping by, appreciate it. Yeah I agree that I think I am heading in the right direction. Binging is definitely addicting, though. I know that even yesterday pigging out for whatever today I almost want to come up with some kind of excuse to do the same thing. I am not sure why at all, it's just like today my apptetite has been nonstop. I feel like I can't satisfy my appetite today, it's the strangest thing. I have no idea why, etc. I am definitely not going to let myself binge, because I am the one that's in control of my actions. Even last night I kept in mind that I am going to be doing this to myself, and no one else. Thanks again man for the support.

Jill: I definitely hate feeling fat. Honestly today I really don't feel all that fat at all. It's more just a sluggish, lethargic, different feeling to be honest. It's not too big of a deal, really. I just need to hang in there this time around and not give up after 2 weeks. I really think that if I can make it 21 days I should be all set. Like I said before according to most info that I have on forming a habit, etc., you must do something for 21 days and at that point it generally becomes a habit. I think if this time around I stick it out for 3 weeks I should be okay. We'll see what happens.

Part of me almost wants to do a low-carb diet though and just get a rockhard midsection, and drop the rest of my flab. I know so many people that eat Atkin's style or some form of it with absolutely no problem at all. Workouts are fine, etc. I feel like during the summer that's what I want more than ever, to be 100% confident with my shirt off. At this point I am definitely not confident taking my shirt off.

This makes me want to jump back on the low-carb bandwagon. Because I know how easy the diet is for me to stick to.

greekblondechic: Aww, I am sorry to hear that you're feeling the same way. I really hope that you hang in there, I know that you have been battling with binging for some time now, definitely stick it I know that you can overcome this thing---if I can anyone can, trust me.

I think habbits are broke after 28 days

Not a problem, you can do it.

Originally Posted by PreMier

I think habbits are broke after 28 days

Not a problem, you can do it.

I agree with Premier, you can do it. To help yourself look at your 2003 picture before you decide to binge. Hell, have a look at my famous beach picture. You will definitely stop binging if you don't want to look like that

[QUOTE=MonStar] Binging is definitely addicting, though. I know that even yesterday pigging out for whatever today I almost want to come up with some kind of excuse to do the same thing. [QUOTE]

This is really true-something that I have to work on myself. I see the same pattern in you, as I see in myself. You allow yourself something that is considered a 'cheat' or 'bad' food-then what happens is your like, screw it, I already fucked up today, then it goes downhill from there. 1 bad food after another. I dont know why this happens. Im still trying to figure it out for me. I can deff relate Monstar, to many of your posts. The mindset is hard to deal with.

Oh ya, I think your abbies look great!

What helps I think is to get a plan from an expert and follow that plan no matter how you feel .. and try to stick with the plan for at least 1 month without cheats
getting a plan .. would not want you to binge