mtv's I was on Adderall ~ Real Life

chiquita6683 · 08-16-2004, 06:53 PM

thanx guys! geez, i guess im so worried about being inappropriate because like before all this happened, i was very inaprappropriate, and back when i was "invincible" i was a member @a gold's (a gym w boys in it !

) and i think i made a post in monoliths journal telling him about going up to a random guy in the gym and slapping him on the ass and telling him he was hot. lol, yeah i had no fear then........omg i will never show my face in there ever again. and during my nervous breakdown, i was @therapy@my drs office and i mooned him and drug him around the office in a headlock and broke his friends phone who was trying to help, and i had to be baker acted and i spent a whole week in a phsych ward, then was sent to FINR where i spent 2 months that i will never forget.

gwcaton · 08-16-2004, 07:58 PM

WoW , Maria !
look at all the people who read your journal ! And there are probaly lots of others that just don't post !

fantasma62 · 08-16-2004, 08:02 PM

Yes Chiquita, those are things that you will never forget. Any time something traumatic occurs to you, you should learn from it and use it to help you overcome the problem should it show it's ugly face again.

Some tell you to try to forget, I tell you to keep it in back of your mind somewhere just in case things get ugly again. At least then you'll be able to know what to do

PreMier · 08-16-2004, 08:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gwcaton

WoW , Maria !
look at all the people who read your journal ! And there are probaly lots of others that just don't post !

Yup

BTW Maria, I would love it if a girl that looked like you came and slapped my ass

**P-funk** · 08-16-2004, 08:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chiquita6683

If you saw that show and if you know my story..........well im a special situation.
A few months ago, before everything happened, I was taking 40mgs of adderall XR which is for attention AND 100mg of provigil which makes you alert/wakes you up, that dose in the morning, and again at lunch. Plus I was bodybuilding, (so I thought). Plus I was going for these hyperbaricoxygen treatments(HBOT).

So think about it, I had alot on my plate! Grocery Shopping, Cooking, Medicine, and I tried to make a journal like it was nothing, and I wrote nothing of it. Plus I had to take a cab to and from the gym......my goal was to be as independent as possible. I didnt want any help. I was such a bitch to everyone with the diet I was on. No1 was allowed in the kitchen while I was cooking. It was sick!

Oh, and I vaccumed ALL the time.

Okay so now I can tell my story.......
12/28/00, I was hit on the passenger side @50mph (my xboyfriend was driving,there was no drinking, we were actually going into a Bailey's gym). He only had a concusion, I however was left w several broken bones, was ina coma over a month, numerous other injuries, but the worst of the injuries was a Traumatic Brain Injury, which I'll have the rest of my life. I went through 2yrs of therapy of all kinds.

Then on 9/13/02, my mother was driving me to school and was hit on her side, she passed away a week later, but of other health complications. I sustained a 2nd brain injury, both TBIs were on the frontal lobe of my brain. I was put back into therapy, still going through some. The right side of my body is weaker/slower and I have MANY cognitive deficiets and my speech is greatly affected. Thats why this goal will be such a challenge.

My new goal is to compete in a bodybuilding competition, naturally, not to win, but to come back from this and be the best I can be. I see the patients(that have similar injuries) when I go to therapy, and I realize how lucky I am. That is 1 of my reasons I want to compete. All of your support is greatly appreciated.

Yeah, im not not so sure about that last paragraph anymore. A competition would be like years from now. Im just happy to be alive.

I had a nervous breakdown, did some really inapropriate things, said some things on this board that Im ashamed of.

When I was tons of adderall and bodybuilding and everything it was like I was on Speed or something, I felt Invincible! I was hardly sleeping, I had to take something to put me to sleep, but only for a few restless hours!

So now Im back, and its scary.

your story is amazing and inspiring. I sincerly hope that someday you see your goal of competiting in a bodybuilding competition through. congratulations on your comeback, you have been through a lot. I wish you the best of luck.

chiquita6683 · 08-16-2004, 08:09 PM

haha wsup PreMier! thanx man

chiquita6683 · 08-16-2004, 08:12 PM

Thank You Pfunk! i greatly appreciate that

Monolith · 08-16-2004, 09:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chiquita6683

thanx guys! geez, i guess im so worried about being inappropriate because like before all this happened, i was very inaprappropriate, and back when i was "invincible" i was a member @a gold's (a gym w boys in it !

) and i think i made a post in monoliths journal telling him about going up to a random guy in the gym and slapping him on the ass and telling him he was hot. lol, yeah i had no fear then........omg i will never show my face in there ever again. and during my nervous breakdown, i was @therapy@my drs office and i mooned him and drug him around the office in a headlock and broke his friends phone who was trying to help, and i had to be baker acted and i spent a whole week in a phsych ward, then was sent to FINR where i spent 2 months that i will never forget.

LOL

I would have loved to see you with your doctor in a headlock.

You're obviously still pretty strong if you beat up 2 men.

I've actually wanted to do that to my doctor a few times... dumbass doesnt know squat about current drug research.

chiquita6683 · 08-17-2004, 07:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Monolith

LOL

I would have loved to see you with your doctor in a headlock.

You're obviously still pretty strong if you beat up 2 men.

I've actually wanted to do that to my doctor a few times... dumbass doesnt know squat about current drug research.

he makes fun of me now about it, hes so cute and little, hes like the size .......... i dont know ill just post a picture maybe, whatd ur dr try to tell u about current drug reseach? have u been doing drugs?

chiquita6683 · 08-17-2004, 08:32 AM

ok soooo.........i cant just make posts in my journal, i dont think i have anything to report, i mean i dont have any confidence, i dont know how to start a post

but i mean i was just in the shower, and i thought of all this great stuff to write about how yesterday @acupunture, the front desk girl goes open the window and goes "oh hey, are you here for hyperbaric?" and my dad couldnt think of the word acupuncture, so he goes "no...for chee chai.......and then we're gonna work on the computer some."
and i guess you have to be in my shoes to think that was cute and thought that needed to be shared, my journal always seems to be so negative well not yet, i havent really gotten started...........but i thought of other posts id make in the shower too, ill probly forgetem. *wait ima write these lil notes.

culture shock
Asia
containments
Tasha
Staff
Dream
Woodshop

chiquita6683 · 08-17-2004, 08:34 AM

oh can some1 plz answer my question in the competition forumn?

BoneCrusher · 08-17-2004, 11:54 AM

I hope you meet your own Adam Sandler ... good luck Chiquita!

chiquita6683 · 08-17-2004, 07:46 PM

*gasp*..............like omg!!!!! 50 first dates is my favorite movie!!!!
i watch whenever im feeling really down and out of place.

me and my roomate were watching it @FINR (my sister sent it and a portable dvd player) and the part where they go to callahan institute and she walks in and sees all those sad people working on art.........she goes "thats where we're at." well she really said it when they drove up to the institution.
but yeah on the subject of my roomate, that place was also a big culture shock. she had gotten her brain injury from somebody hit her (i dont know the word for it, like a small motorcycle) while she was escaping a house she was robbing. the girl was so ghetto. she was only 18, she had done all kinds of drugs, lost a 2 kids, been in juvee, she was a stripper from DC. she blared her rap music and oh yeah she was a lesbian too. im not the shy type to cover up around any1 either, i dont care, i used to be a swimmer in hs, we did all sorts of weird things.
yes, id say im a humbled brat w a very open mind now.

BoneCrusher · 08-17-2004, 08:10 PM

I've dated quite a few brats, but never a humble one. That would be a very interesting personality combination. Perky, demanding, yet understanding. Someone is going to be lucky to get you into his life girl.

chiquita6683 · 08-18-2004, 06:58 AM

*turns and blushes* aww gee thanx bonecrusher, thats hard to imagine right now though. yesterday, i went out in public for the first time w out my family and it was like omg! so weird. my friend kind of well ill make another post, i g2g now.

chiquita6683 · 08-18-2004, 10:37 AM

so yesterday my bestfriend growing up, (shes been thru everything w me) whos studying to be... not a dr, and not a nurse , but like a really big nurse ,that helps that helps a dr., (cant thinka the word) anyways......

so we're leading different lives now and growing up but she still calls and checks on me every now n then cause i dunno, shes good like that, n i love her to death. but we went to this like side of town and went to eat and the 1st thing i said when we walked in the restraunt was like whoa im out in public w/out my family outside of FINR! and she kind of giggled. and we just walked and sat down and caught up, ect, ect. she looked great, she had lost 15 lbs since the last time i had seen her. she told me of her dramas w her ex boyfriend and how he wont leave her alone. and she told me i should be an advice columnist or something, i was thinking,....."no bitch, i get tired of the same drama over and over, just in other words" then we went in this one shop, and the guy in the store........................................im really tired my attentions gone, i need more adderall again. i was on none. now im on 10mgs in the AM. i was gonna tell u about my workout n stuff and what i did for my trainer but now i feel like crashing. i have acupunture @4. and Monday when i had it he was suppose to give me more energy. man that acupunture doesnt last, but it makes me feel awesome when he does it, uh, blah!

chiquita6683 · 08-18-2004, 05:09 PM

a P.A.!

chiquita6683 · 08-18-2004, 06:27 PM

so today during training, i warmed up and we were about to get started and Kris,my trainer, goes "You remember Pina, from Golds dont you?".........pina looks at me w a huge smile and goes " hey how are/howve u been/ love ur new hair color!...." Iwas like

"um...........uh.......yea....i was on alot of adderall then" just remembering all the stupid things, i said/did in that gym, making a fool out of myself.
..........whatever im so over this , i dont even want to think about it again to have to write in my journal.. but Pina was another trainer @ golds, n it freaked me out to see her there, but kris said she took her under her wing. and she watched us train legs, and my chest is really really sore

gwcaton · 08-18-2004, 06:29 PM

Sounds like you had a great wo Maria !

one day at a time !

chiquita6683 · 08-18-2004, 07:42 PM

omg gary u made me look/sound/feel like such a prissy dramatic little girl. lol, i was on the leg extension machine, and i would do a set n it was good but then id start tellin her bout how the place traumatized me n wanna cry n then get all serious for another set. gurr!
then we did squats for the 1st time time since i been back and she put 25s on each end, then we did double lunges across the gym, i got really fatigued on that. she xplained to pina that my right side is weaker, i guess i was visibly doing something off a lil.
lol yea, thats y making a journal used to intimidate me, a real bb can list there weight/sets/reps everything + diet for the day.
me on the other hand, can give a round about of what we did,
hey gary do you remeber that picture i posted of me and Kris like a yr ago when i first came to the forum? it was doing a bicep pose and i had on a superman tshirt

PreMier · 08-18-2004, 07:56 PM

I remember that pic. I told you I had a superman shirt just like it, and still do

gwcaton · 08-18-2004, 08:38 PM

Maria,

Yes I remember the pic , I have a Superman shirt too

I also noticed in one of your pics it looked like yuo has a superman necklace !

The pic of you and Kris was one of my favorites !

chiquita6683 · 08-18-2004, 08:47 PM

well i was so pumped up w the idea when i wanted to become a bb and i made yahoo group and put my story there, so i had all these members like here. well 1 of the members was a website designer, and i had posted it there too!

fantasma62 · 08-18-2004, 09:11 PM

Hey Chiquita.....I hope you've had a great day. Keep on keeping on.....

Good night

BoneCrusher · 08-18-2004, 10:17 PM

Hello again Chiquita. I hope your day is just the way you want it to be ... and then some!!

chiquita6683 · 08-19-2004, 05:48 AM

Morning guys! hey Tony, u made my morning yesterday bonecrusher

anyways lastnite i was short w that post bc my meds were knockin me out, but anyway what i was trying to say, that picture got her a connection, and shes going out to LA in 2 weeks for a photo shoot for free, and that genex thing i showed u she got payed for,...............bc of ME........she says im bouncing back really fast,

08-16-2004, 06:53 PM	#31
chiquita6683 Senior Member Elite Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Florida Posts: 802 Photos: 1	BODYBUILDING SUPPLEMENTS High Quality Supplements For Bodybuilders and Athletes. www.ironmaglabs.com thanx guys! geez, i guess im so worried about being inappropriate because like before all this happened, i was very inaprappropriate, and back when i was "invincible" i was a member @a gold's (a gym w boys in it ! ) and i think i made a post in monoliths journal telling him about going up to a random guy in the gym and slapping him on the ass and telling him he was hot. lol, yeah i had no fear then........omg i will never show my face in there ever again. and during my nervous breakdown, i was @therapy@my drs office and i mooned him and drug him around the office in a headlock and broke his friends phone who was trying to help, and i had to be baker acted and i spent a whole week in a phsych ward, then was sent to FINR where i spent 2 months that i will never forget.

08-16-2004, 07:58 PM	#32
gwcaton Lookin' for abs ! Elite Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: central missouri Posts: 9,271 Photos: 28	WoW , Maria ! look at all the people who read your journal ! And there are probaly lots of others that just don't post !
	My Last Journal Before The One You're Reading Now Old Journals : My P/RR/S Journal My GWcaton Journal My Bulking Journal Just remember, when you think you're done you've just started . DEADBOLT . 2005

08-16-2004, 08:02 PM	#33
fantasma62 HIHT Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: SoFla Posts: 2,516	Yes Chiquita, those are things that you will never forget. Any time something traumatic occurs to you, you should learn from it and use it to help you overcome the problem should it show it's ugly face again. Some tell you to try to forget, I tell you to keep it in back of your mind somewhere just in case things get ugly again. At least then you'll be able to know what to do
	-Tony- HIHT: High Intensity Hybrid Training

08-18-2004, 06:29 PM	#49
gwcaton Lookin' for abs ! Elite Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: central missouri Posts: 9,271 Photos: 28	Sounds like you had a great wo Maria ! one day at a time !
	My Last Journal Before The One You're Reading Now Old Journals : My P/RR/S Journal My GWcaton Journal My Bulking Journal Just remember, when you think you're done you've just started . DEADBOLT . 2005

08-18-2004, 07:56 PM	#51
PreMier happy sumo Elite Member Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 21,054 Photos: 2	I remember that pic. I told you I had a superman shirt just like it, and still do
	P-side Inc. "the post-workout high is more profound than any drug-induced rush imaginable." -Dante B.

08-16-2004, 08:09 PM	#36
chiquita6683 Senior Member Elite Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Florida Posts: 802 Photos: 1	haha wsup PreMier! thanx man

08-16-2004, 08:12 PM	#37
chiquita6683 Senior Member Elite Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Florida Posts: 802 Photos: 1	Thank You Pfunk! i greatly appreciate that

08-17-2004, 08:32 AM	#40
chiquita6683 Senior Member Elite Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Florida Posts: 802 Photos: 1	ok soooo.........i cant just make posts in my journal, i dont think i have anything to report, i mean i dont have any confidence, i dont know how to start a post but i mean i was just in the shower, and i thought of all this great stuff to write about how yesterday @acupunture, the front desk girl goes open the window and goes "oh hey, are you here for hyperbaric?" and my dad couldnt think of the word acupuncture, so he goes "no...for chee chai.......and then we're gonna work on the computer some." and i guess you have to be in my shoes to think that was cute and thought that needed to be shared, my journal always seems to be so negative well not yet, i havent really gotten started...........but i thought of other posts id make in the shower too, ill probly forgetem. *wait ima write these lil notes. culture shock Asia containments Tasha Staff Dream Woodshop

08-17-2004, 08:34 AM	#41
chiquita6683 Senior Member Elite Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Florida Posts: 802 Photos: 1	oh can some1 plz answer my question in the competition forumn?

08-17-2004, 11:54 AM	#42
BoneCrusher Lift or Die Elite Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Austin Texas Posts: 8,488	I hope you meet your own Adam Sandler ... good luck Chiquita!

08-17-2004, 07:46 PM	#43
chiquita6683 Senior Member Elite Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Florida Posts: 802 Photos: 1	gasp..............like omg!!!!! 50 first dates is my favorite movie!!!! i watch whenever im feeling really down and out of place. me and my roomate were watching it @FINR (my sister sent it and a portable dvd player) and the part where they go to callahan institute and she walks in and sees all those sad people working on art.........she goes "thats where we're at." well she really said it when they drove up to the institution. but yeah on the subject of my roomate, that place was also a big culture shock. she had gotten her brain injury from somebody hit her (i dont know the word for it, like a small motorcycle) while she was escaping a house she was robbing. the girl was so ghetto. she was only 18, she had done all kinds of drugs, lost a 2 kids, been in juvee, she was a stripper from DC. she blared her rap music and oh yeah she was a lesbian too. im not the shy type to cover up around any1 either, i dont care, i used to be a swimmer in hs, we did all sorts of weird things. yes, id say im a humbled brat w a very open mind now.

08-17-2004, 08:10 PM	#44
BoneCrusher Lift or Die Elite Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Austin Texas Posts: 8,488	I've dated quite a few brats, but never a humble one. That would be a very interesting personality combination. Perky, demanding, yet understanding. Someone is going to be lucky to get you into his life girl.

08-18-2004, 06:58 AM	#45
chiquita6683 Senior Member Elite Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Florida Posts: 802 Photos: 1	turns and blushes aww gee thanx bonecrusher, thats hard to imagine right now though. yesterday, i went out in public for the first time w out my family and it was like omg! so weird. my friend kind of well ill make another post, i g2g now.

08-18-2004, 10:37 AM	#46
chiquita6683 Senior Member Elite Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Florida Posts: 802 Photos: 1	so yesterday my bestfriend growing up, (shes been thru everything w me) whos studying to be... not a dr, and not a nurse , but like a really big nurse ,that helps that helps a dr., (cant thinka the word) anyways...... so we're leading different lives now and growing up but she still calls and checks on me every now n then cause i dunno, shes good like that, n i love her to death. but we went to this like side of town and went to eat and the 1st thing i said when we walked in the restraunt was like whoa im out in public w/out my family outside of FINR! and she kind of giggled. and we just walked and sat down and caught up, ect, ect. she looked great, she had lost 15 lbs since the last time i had seen her. she told me of her dramas w her ex boyfriend and how he wont leave her alone. and she told me i should be an advice columnist or something, i was thinking,....."no bitch, i get tired of the same drama over and over, just in other words" then we went in this one shop, and the guy in the store........................................im really tired my attentions gone, i need more adderall again. i was on none. now im on 10mgs in the AM. i was gonna tell u about my workout n stuff and what i did for my trainer but now i feel like crashing. i have acupunture @4. and Monday when i had it he was suppose to give me more energy. man that acupunture doesnt last, but it makes me feel awesome when he does it, uh, blah!

08-18-2004, 05:09 PM	#47
chiquita6683 Senior Member Elite Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Florida Posts: 802 Photos: 1	a P.A.!

08-18-2004, 06:27 PM	#48
chiquita6683 Senior Member Elite Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Florida Posts: 802 Photos: 1	so today during training, i warmed up and we were about to get started and Kris,my trainer, goes "You remember Pina, from Golds dont you?".........pina looks at me w a huge smile and goes " hey how are/howve u been/ love ur new hair color!...." Iwas like "um...........uh.......yea....i was on alot of adderall then" just remembering all the stupid things, i said/did in that gym, making a fool out of myself. ..........whatever im so over this , i dont even want to think about it again to have to write in my journal.. but Pina was another trainer @ golds, n it freaked me out to see her there, but kris said she took her under her wing. and she watched us train legs, and my chest is really really sore

08-18-2004, 07:42 PM	#50
chiquita6683 Senior Member Elite Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Florida Posts: 802 Photos: 1	omg gary u made me look/sound/feel like such a prissy dramatic little girl. lol, i was on the leg extension machine, and i would do a set n it was good but then id start tellin her bout how the place traumatized me n wanna cry n then get all serious for another set. gurr! then we did squats for the 1st time time since i been back and she put 25s on each end, then we did double lunges across the gym, i got really fatigued on that. she xplained to pina that my right side is weaker, i guess i was visibly doing something off a lil. lol yea, thats y making a journal used to intimidate me, a real bb can list there weight/sets/reps everything + diet for the day. me on the other hand, can give a round about of what we did, hey gary do you remeber that picture i posted of me and Kris like a yr ago when i first came to the forum? it was doing a bicep pose and i had on a superman tshirt

08-18-2004, 08:38 PM	#52
gwcaton Lookin' for abs ! Elite Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: central missouri Posts: 9,271 Photos: 28	Maria, Yes I remember the pic , I have a Superman shirt too I also noticed in one of your pics it looked like yuo has a superman necklace ! The pic of you and Kris was one of my favorites !
	My Last Journal Before The One You're Reading Now Old Journals : My P/RR/S Journal My GWcaton Journal My Bulking Journal Just remember, when you think you're done you've just started . DEADBOLT . 2005

08-18-2004, 08:47 PM	#53
chiquita6683 Senior Member Elite Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Florida Posts: 802 Photos: 1	well i was so pumped up w the idea when i wanted to become a bb and i made yahoo group and put my story there, so i had all these members like here. well 1 of the members was a website designer, and i had posted it there too!

08-18-2004, 09:11 PM	#54
fantasma62 HIHT Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: SoFla Posts: 2,516	Hey Chiquita.....I hope you've had a great day. Keep on keeping on..... Good night
	-Tony- HIHT: High Intensity Hybrid Training

08-18-2004, 10:17 PM	#55
BoneCrusher Lift or Die Elite Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Austin Texas Posts: 8,488	Hello again Chiquita. I hope your day is just the way you want it to be ... and then some!!

08-19-2004, 05:48 AM	#56
chiquita6683 Senior Member Elite Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Florida Posts: 802 Photos: 1	Morning guys! hey Tony, u made my morning yesterday bonecrusher anyways lastnite i was short w that post bc my meds were knockin me out, but anyway what i was trying to say, that picture got her a connection, and shes going out to LA in 2 weeks for a photo shoot for free, and that genex thing i showed u she got payed for,...............bc of ME........she says im bouncing back really fast,