mtv's I was on Adderall ~ Real Life

chiquita6683 · 08-19-2004, 06:23 PM

swim practice sucked! i got out early, i even moved down 2 slower lanes n they were even kicking my ass, im usually lapping them! the lane i started out in had a new girl in it n this fat girl that i usually beat, so i figure i spose to be leading this lane they lap me, it was her 1st nite 2

so i move down 2 lanes and uh!

what a shitty day!
its so hard to stay postitive, sometimes..........

oh my dr gave me new meds i think

soo.......thats my life pretty much right now, working out w a trainer, swimming, therapy/dr.'s office, going out w my family, or the rare friend

gwcaton · 08-20-2004, 04:53 AM

Morning Maria !

Hope you have a great day !

chiquita6683 · 08-20-2004, 07:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gwcaton

Morning Maria !

Hope you have a great day !

i feel good so far, im on the way to train w Kris, i think my doc added in provigil to make me more alert, we'll see, its a brand new day!

BoneCrusher · 08-20-2004, 09:29 AM

Have a good day there Chiquita ...

chiquita6683 · 08-20-2004, 01:31 PM

woohoo its goin great! i had my very 1st back day, and i had the same lifts at 168 really out of shape, as i did at 140 really really in shape. ah yes im fat n happy

im 5'8
i hope i didnt freak my trainer out, bc i rubbed her arm and said 'wow', she didnt do/say anything, she just walked away, and im always like checking her out, but i mean i seem to be the only 1 doing it, maybe bc its bc im the only 1 that appreciates muscle, every1else in that gym is like all fat n stuff (its an all womens gym) but it is like pretty inspiring just like what i see every day @ the drs office.

Var · 08-20-2004, 02:30 PM

Nice job Chiquita!

fantasma62 · 08-20-2004, 03:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chiquita6683

woohoo its goin great! i had my very 1st back day, and i had the same lifts at 168 really out of shape, as i did at 140 really really in shape. ah yes im fat n happy

im 5'8
i hope i didnt freak my trainer out, bc i rubbed her arm and said 'wow', she didnt do/say anything, she just walked away, and im always like checking her out, but i mean i seem to be the only 1 doing it, maybe bc its bc im the only 1 that appreciates muscle, every1else in that gym is like all fat n stuff (its an all womens gym) but it is like pretty inspiring just like what i see every day @ the drs office.

Hey Chiquita (Banana), sorry I just couldn't help myself. I hope you don't mind...

I am happy to hear that you are having a great day. I am about to start my own workout now, so I just wanted to stop by to say hi and to wish you the very best the rest of the day....

chiquita6683 · 08-21-2004, 01:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by P-funk

P- Yeah, I know I can pull way more weight. But it is not about just pulling heavy weight. I want really clean form. I can pull it up sloppy but I want to get my form smoothed out becasue that means whatever I can do sloppy I wil blow out of the water. Form first weight second with everything in my book.

After everything, I think Im ready to go heavy. It help's me phsycologicaly, like when Im in a session w Kris, and I told her about the other day when I laid in bed all day and it was a shitty day bc of it, and I got all mad right before I did the set and was like "Gurr!" (she knew to put the weight heavier)
she was like "i wish i could have shitty days like that",

Its a shitty day when ur trying to be high functioning again!

so shes been teaching me the right form, i just wish i could do it on my own. like in btwn sets ill forget wheather or not i pulled to the front or the back (fridays back wo) n ill forget stupid little things like that, but i dont socialize in there, or have any friends and my dads trying to teach me the importance of saving money but I really want Kris to get me to my 1st competition and after that ill think ill have alot more confidence in myself.

chiquita6683 · 08-21-2004, 02:17 PM

yes i also recommend swimming to the 1s that are cardiovascularly Fit, it feels so good when your sore, especially legs, pushing off the wall, ull notice, and the different strokes works all the different muscles. u really notice what u worked! like right now im building my big muscle groups, chest/ back/legs.

my coach'll give us kick set to do, and i'll start building up some lactic acid, it feels really good, burns.

butterfly kick- both feet together at same works lower abs and hamstrings
freestyle/backstroke " - quads, qlutes, hams, core?
breaststroke"- cant thinka the name 4 the muscle, innerthigh?, glutes, its like the froggy kick

just think i do that for an hr1/2, 3 times a week! great cardio, im an athlete, not a bb..........yet.

i dont know what i want

sftwrngnr · 08-22-2004, 10:23 AM

Hi Chiq,
I read your journal, and I have to say that you are a true inspiration! You have been through so much! My only comment would be that you need to be patient with yourself. I have no doubt that you WILL achieve your goals. My other comment would be that if you are having a little difficulty remembering what exercises you did, you might want to bring a little book to write it down. I found myself forgetting what exercises I did, and what weights, so I bought a little notebook so I could keep track of my workouts.

My final comments would be this: When you started your journal, you wondered if it was ok to rant. I would say definitely. Some days are just crappy, and writing about it can be a good release. I would also say that you ARE an athlete, and should be commended for having the focus that you do, in spite of what you have been through. You clearly have an inner strength and drive that few possess. You go girl!

-Dan

chiquita6683 · 08-22-2004, 10:55 AM

muy gracias Dan

i appreciated ur comments! stop by anytime

**P-funk** · 08-22-2004, 10:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chiquita6683

After everything, I think Im ready to go heavy. It help's me phsycologicaly, like when Im in a session w Kris, and I told her about the other day when I laid in bed all day and it was a shitty day bc of it, and I got all mad right before I did the set and was like "Gurr!" (she knew to put the weight heavier)
she was like "i wish i could have shitty days like that",

Its a shitty day when ur trying to be high functioning again!

so shes been teaching me the right form, i just wish i could do it on my own. like in btwn sets ill forget wheather or not i pulled to the front or the back (fridays back wo) n ill forget stupid little things like that, but i dont socialize in there, or have any friends and my dads trying to teach me the importance of saving money but I really want Kris to get me to my 1st competition and after that ill think ill have alot more confidence in myself.

chiquita6683 · 08-22-2004, 11:01 AM

oh wow! hey Patrick! thanx for stoppin by

fantasma62 · 08-22-2004, 11:19 AM

Hi Chiquita, I hope all is going well today...I am sore, but not too bad.

I am doing P/RR/S and it is truly kicking my tail. This week I am going "into shock"....

I hope you have a great day and keep on going, you are going to be great

chiquita6683 · 08-22-2004, 11:32 AM

aww *blush* such kind words.

im doing really great today! i got up, folded laundry, vaccumed the house, shaved my legs, made my bed, read the comics of the regular newspaper! i never ever read the paper

that new medicine must be doin its job!

chiquita6683 · 08-22-2004, 08:28 PM

I just posted the picture the picture of what I changed my desktop to. I also have alot of inspiring sayings all around my room. My frigde is full of those quoteable magnets u know, n i sit n read em whenever im eating. i have a like a 10million pairs of superman underwear from target and superman tennisshoes from payless and those i can do it! tshirts. but still........sometimes i just dont know

like i surround myself w all these positive things, and im doing these positive things for myself and other people and maybe somethings are going to happen?????????
when? when is it my turn? im trying!!!!!!! people keep telling me that their really proud of me..........but i gotta keep goin!

ya know, SHIT!!!!!
gawd damnit!!!! FAWKKK-ING AHE!!!!

damn i could push some weight right now! GURH!

BritChick · 08-22-2004, 08:33 PM

Hi chiquita,
I just put a post in your gallery regarding the pic and your description that you posted along with it.
Let me tell you lady, you're inspiring ME!
Rest assured your turn WILL come, stay focused and keep believing in yourself.
Now I have found your journal I'll be coming back often.

chiquita6683 · 08-22-2004, 08:42 PM

yea thanx britchick

chiquita6683 · 08-22-2004, 08:44 PM

aww i just read it!

chiquita6683 · 08-22-2004, 08:45 PM

i posted on ur pictures to nice quarter turns! and very nice abs btw!

sftwrngnr · 08-22-2004, 09:07 PM

Chiq,
For what its worth, the fact that you are alive, after all that you have been through is amazing in and of itself. Take a step back, and think about it. You could have been a quadriplegic, vegetable, or worse still, dead. The FACT that you are pursuing a competition, speaks for itself. I'm sure you will have your tough moments, or even days. We all do. My only advise to you, is to take a look at what you've been through, and where you're going. You've come a long ways... it may take a little longer than you expected to reach your destination, but you WILL reach it.

-Dan

chiquita6683 · 08-22-2004, 09:14 PM

oh yeah so tomorrow me and my dad are gonna stay at our friend's condo on cresent bch in st. augustine, fl. my sister'll spend monday afternoon w us. wednesday my aunt is coming from DC to spend the rest of week w us. + so theyll play lots of golf. and ill just be a bum on the beach or something. but i dunno, then when i get back class starts! omg, around people! i just got home

gwcaton · 08-22-2004, 09:17 PM

I think the only thing you are short on Maria is patience . Other than that you have all you need to meet your goals. Just my 2 cents !

BritChick · 08-22-2004, 10:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chiquita6683

i posted on ur pictures to nice quarter turns! and very nice abs btw!

Cheers!

chiquita6683 · 08-23-2004, 06:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sftwrngnr

Chiq,
For what its worth, the fact that you are alive, after all that you have been through is amazing in and of itself. Take a step back, and think about it. You could have been a quadriplegic, vegetable, or worse still, dead. The FACT that you are pursuing a competition, speaks for itself. I'm sure you will have your tough moments, or even days. We all do. My only advise to you, is to take a look at what you've been through, and where you're going. You've come a long ways... it may take a little longer than you expected to reach your destination, but you WILL reach it.

-Dan

You are so right Dan, and thank you for reminding of that! I went to a support group meeting this weekend and omg those people are so sad. and i just got out of that institution, and i came back to where i have to go to the dr.s office 4 days a week and see people where I could be. my caretaker will sit w their caretaker just to pass the time and the story gets passed along, its so depressing. My dad is so overprotective of me sometimes, but like 1 time my dr. tried to explain to me how bringing me home and i took a test for college and so the 1st thing he asks me when i get in the car was "were there alot of phsychological questions on there?" NO DAD! its college! not FINR! not Brooks! im finally out of that stage of my life!

i didnt say that i laughed at him, and said no, explained paiteintly, calmly.

im workin on the patience thing gary

08-20-2004, 04:53 AM	#62
gwcaton Lookin' for abs ! Elite Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: central missouri Posts: 9,271 Photos: 28	Morning Maria ! Hope you have a great day !
	My Last Journal Before The One You're Reading Now Old Journals : My P/RR/S Journal My GWcaton Journal My Bulking Journal Just remember, when you think you're done you've just started . DEADBOLT . 2005

08-20-2004, 02:30 PM	#66
Var Filthy Animal Join Date: May 2002 Location: Finally back in New England!! Posts: 5,438	Nice job Chiquita!
	But when you disarm them, you at once offend them by showing that you distrust them, either for cowardice or for want of loyalty, and either of these opinions breeds hatred against you. -N. Machiavelli

08-22-2004, 10:23 AM	#70
sftwrngnr Registered User Join Date: May 2004 Location: Chandler, AZ Posts: 187 Photos: 2	Hi Chiq, I read your journal, and I have to say that you are a true inspiration! You have been through so much! My only comment would be that you need to be patient with yourself. I have no doubt that you WILL achieve your goals. My other comment would be that if you are having a little difficulty remembering what exercises you did, you might want to bring a little book to write it down. I found myself forgetting what exercises I did, and what weights, so I bought a little notebook so I could keep track of my workouts. My final comments would be this: When you started your journal, you wondered if it was ok to rant. I would say definitely. Some days are just crappy, and writing about it can be a good release. I would also say that you ARE an athlete, and should be commended for having the focus that you do, in spite of what you have been through. You clearly have an inner strength and drive that few possess. You go girl! -Dan
	*"Dude... thats a lot-a weight... I mean yer like... what... 50??"* Said to me by a 17 year old when I was doing deadlifts. -------------------------------------- Current Stats: Age: 39 Squat: 585 Bench: 265 (STILL Pathetic) Deadlift: 565 Weight: 218 Goals: Interrupted due to accident ! Rehab journal: Dan's rehab journal Training journal: Dan's westside training journal

08-22-2004, 11:19 AM	#74
fantasma62 HIHT Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: SoFla Posts: 2,516	Hi Chiquita, I hope all is going well today...I am sore, but not too bad. I am doing P/RR/S and it is truly kicking my tail. This week I am going "into shock".... I hope you have a great day and keep on going, you are going to be great
	-Tony- HIHT: High Intensity Hybrid Training

08-22-2004, 09:07 PM	#81
sftwrngnr Registered User Join Date: May 2004 Location: Chandler, AZ Posts: 187 Photos: 2	Chiq, For what its worth, the fact that you are alive, after all that you have been through is amazing in and of itself. Take a step back, and think about it. You could have been a quadriplegic, vegetable, or worse still, dead. The FACT that you are pursuing a competition, speaks for itself. I'm sure you will have your tough moments, or even days. We all do. My only advise to you, is to take a look at what you've been through, and where you're going. You've come a long ways... it may take a little longer than you expected to reach your destination, but you WILL reach it. -Dan
	*"Dude... thats a lot-a weight... I mean yer like... what... 50??"* Said to me by a 17 year old when I was doing deadlifts. -------------------------------------- Current Stats: Age: 39 Squat: 585 Bench: 265 (STILL Pathetic) Deadlift: 565 Weight: 218 Goals: Interrupted due to accident ! Rehab journal: Dan's rehab journal Training journal: Dan's westside training journal

08-19-2004, 06:23 PM	#61
chiquita6683 Senior Member Elite Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Florida Posts: 802 Photos: 1	swim practice sucked! i got out early, i even moved down 2 slower lanes n they were even kicking my ass, im usually lapping them! the lane i started out in had a new girl in it n this fat girl that i usually beat, so i figure i spose to be leading this lane they lap me, it was her 1st nite 2 so i move down 2 lanes and uh! what a shitty day! its so hard to stay postitive, sometimes.......... oh my dr gave me new meds i think soo.......thats my life pretty much right now, working out w a trainer, swimming, therapy/dr.'s office, going out w my family, or the rare friend

08-20-2004, 09:29 AM	#64
BoneCrusher Lift or Die Elite Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Austin Texas Posts: 8,544	Have a good day there Chiquita ...

08-20-2004, 01:31 PM	#65
chiquita6683 Senior Member Elite Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Florida Posts: 802 Photos: 1	woohoo its goin great! i had my very 1st back day, and i had the same lifts at 168 really out of shape, as i did at 140 really really in shape. ah yes im fat n happy im 5'8 i hope i didnt freak my trainer out, bc i rubbed her arm and said 'wow', she didnt do/say anything, she just walked away, and im always like checking her out, but i mean i seem to be the only 1 doing it, maybe bc its bc im the only 1 that appreciates muscle, every1else in that gym is like all fat n stuff (its an all womens gym) but it is like pretty inspiring just like what i see every day @ the drs office.

08-21-2004, 02:17 PM	#69
chiquita6683 Senior Member Elite Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Florida Posts: 802 Photos: 1	yes i also recommend swimming to the 1s that are cardiovascularly Fit, it feels so good when your sore, especially legs, pushing off the wall, ull notice, and the different strokes works all the different muscles. u really notice what u worked! like right now im building my big muscle groups, chest/ back/legs. my coach'll give us kick set to do, and i'll start building up some lactic acid, it feels really good, burns. butterfly kick- both feet together at same works lower abs and hamstrings freestyle/backstroke " - quads, qlutes, hams, core? breaststroke"- cant thinka the name 4 the muscle, innerthigh?, glutes, its like the froggy kick just think i do that for an hr1/2, 3 times a week! great cardio, im an athlete, not a bb..........yet. i dont know what i want

08-22-2004, 10:55 AM	#71
chiquita6683 Senior Member Elite Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Florida Posts: 802 Photos: 1	muy gracias Dan i appreciated ur comments! stop by anytime

08-22-2004, 11:01 AM	#73
chiquita6683 Senior Member Elite Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Florida Posts: 802 Photos: 1	oh wow! hey Patrick! thanx for stoppin by

08-22-2004, 11:32 AM	#75
chiquita6683 Senior Member Elite Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Florida Posts: 802 Photos: 1	aww blush such kind words. im doing really great today! i got up, folded laundry, vaccumed the house, shaved my legs, made my bed, read the comics of the regular newspaper! i never ever read the paper that new medicine must be doin its job!

08-22-2004, 08:28 PM	#76
chiquita6683 Senior Member Elite Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Florida Posts: 802 Photos: 1	I just posted the picture the picture of what I changed my desktop to. I also have alot of inspiring sayings all around my room. My frigde is full of those quoteable magnets u know, n i sit n read em whenever im eating. i have a like a 10million pairs of superman underwear from target and superman tennisshoes from payless and those i can do it! tshirts. but still........sometimes i just dont know like i surround myself w all these positive things, and im doing these positive things for myself and other people and maybe somethings are going to happen????????? when? when is it my turn? im trying!!!!!!! people keep telling me that their really proud of me..........but i gotta keep goin! ya know, SHIT!!!!! gawd damnit!!!! FAWKKK-ING AHE!!!! damn i could push some weight right now! GURH!

08-22-2004, 08:33 PM	#77
BritChick Senior Member Elite Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: BC Canada Posts: 5,449 Photos: 7	Hi chiquita, I just put a post in your gallery regarding the pic and your description that you posted along with it. Let me tell you lady, you're inspiring ME! Rest assured your turn WILL come, stay focused and keep believing in yourself. Now I have found your journal I'll be coming back often.

08-22-2004, 08:42 PM	#78
chiquita6683 Senior Member Elite Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Florida Posts: 802 Photos: 1	yea thanx britchick

08-22-2004, 08:44 PM	#79
chiquita6683 Senior Member Elite Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Florida Posts: 802 Photos: 1	aww i just read it!

08-22-2004, 08:45 PM	#80
chiquita6683 Senior Member Elite Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Florida Posts: 802 Photos: 1	i posted on ur pictures to nice quarter turns! and very nice abs btw!

08-22-2004, 09:14 PM	#82
chiquita6683 Senior Member Elite Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Florida Posts: 802 Photos: 1	oh yeah so tomorrow me and my dad are gonna stay at our friend's condo on cresent bch in st. augustine, fl. my sister'll spend monday afternoon w us. wednesday my aunt is coming from DC to spend the rest of week w us. + so theyll play lots of golf. and ill just be a bum on the beach or something. but i dunno, then when i get back class starts! omg, around people! i just got home

08-22-2004, 09:17 PM	#83
gwcaton Lookin' for abs ! Elite Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: central missouri Posts: 9,271 Photos: 28	I think the only thing you are short on Maria is patience . Other than that you have all you need to meet your goals. Just my 2 cents !
	My Last Journal Before The One You're Reading Now Old Journals : My P/RR/S Journal My GWcaton Journal My Bulking Journal Just remember, when you think you're done you've just started . DEADBOLT . 2005