sftwrngnr

Maria,
You are right, what if you never go back (I'd miss your journals though). Carbs aren't necessarily the enemy, so don't worry about that . Just from reading your journal, I have no doubt that you will go back . I believe you put too much pressure on yourself because you are attempting to demand instant results. Think about how long the "pro" bodybuilders train... years and years! I am not trying to discourage you in any way... all I am saying, is make some attainable goals, and have fun along the way!

-Dan

"Dude... thats a lot-a weight... I mean yer like... what... 50??" Said to me by a 17 year old when I was doing deadlifts.
--------------------------------------
Current Stats:
Age: 39
Squat: 585 Bench: 265 (STILL Pathetic) Deadlift: 565 Weight: 218
Goals:
Interrupted due to accident !
Rehab journal:
Dan's rehab journal
Training journal:
Dan's westside training journal

chiquita6683

Thank you, I think I needed to hear that from someone else. I have no aspiration to become a "pro" bodybuider anyways
but im just gonna get on w my life, ill still go to swim practice, n ill finish out my sessions w Kris and my membership thru december then ill rejoin the Y on my side of town probably. (i changed my life around for fitness and it got a lil out of hand) may start another journal in the future,

In my opinion, it looks like you want your outside to look the way you feel deep inside. You know how hard you've worked to get where you are, and the physical expression of the internal strength is why you like the idea of muscle -Kane

BritChick

Hey Maria,
Just a couple of thoughts for you, I think you want the destination a little too much... I can relate to that, I am always impatient for results but I really believe the key to success is to enjoy the journey too, enjoy the process, enjoy each little success along the way.
As far as whether you want to do bb or figure... you don't have to decide right now!!!
I know girls who have competed in figure and are now switching to bb and vice versa... a lot of the winners at this years Canadian Figure Nationals were ex bodybuilders, so if you decide on one thing and then change your mind that's okay too.
Maybe you could set yourself some small incremental goals for yourself instead of just focusing on the all or nothing approach... just something to think about.
I wish you all the best x

PreMier

Welcome back. You have an interesting compilation of thoughts.

P-side Inc.

"the post-workout high is more profound than any drug-induced rush imaginable." -Dante B.

chiquita6683

my carpentry class is intresting to say the least. so the tools class is spose to be from 8-10, roofing I 10-12, roofing II 1-230. but im only taking the tools class, im not gonna be a roofer/carpenter.
and since im the only 1 taking only tools, the instructor asked if i could stay till 12, which i said i could and im learning a lil bit about building a house along with everything. So today they were talking about stuff that was Way over my head! i wasnt paying attention anyways it was like all this stuff about a story he repaired somebodys roof w/out a contracters license and it got back to him, and she was fine and it s so important, and i dunno, roofing stuff i didnt care about.
and i dont have a damn notetaker yet! the school is suppose to take care of my needs as a person with a disability! oh well, it is only the second day.
oh yeah! and check this out! i am intimidated being the only girl in the class of about 20 guys(black/white/ghetto/country/young/old/spanish/wide variety). so last semester they built something w paneling thats like 2 walls.......so every1 took some tools and had to take it apart w hammers and crow bars, they peiced it apart neatly. i took a sledge hammer, said "every1 stand back" and took out some aggression. i didnt have to help, but i broke a sweat in the heat. then they had to take the nails out of the boards. i figured id be smart about it and go in the shade at least, and got frustrated w it cause the damn nail wouldnt come outa the board.
so i got up and said "yall mothafuckas crazy!" i went in the air conditioned class room and checked my email while every1 cleaned up. The teacher said i didnt have to do any of that, i can participate in as much as i want to though. my teachers really cool, no1 really messes w me, they all just check me out
being @ school is alot more fun than being @home. i ate lunch there and watched all the people that is so much fun to me. a few guys tried to talk to me, i ignored them or said a few words and went on my way.
i have swim practice tonite
.

In my opinion, it looks like you want your outside to look the way you feel deep inside. You know how hard you've worked to get where you are, and the physical expression of the internal strength is why you like the idea of muscle -Kane

fantasma62

Hola Chiquita....


I am so happy that you are enjoying yourself so much. You deserve this.
You see, it is your turn...I told you

Keep on behaving and continue being good to yourself, you won't be sorry...

Many hugs....

-Tony-

HIHT: High Intensity Hybrid Training

P-funk

sounds like an exciting day!

http://pwtraining.blogspot.com/.....come and see what is on my mind!

Ivonne's Blog on Health and Wellness!

Looking for online training/coaching/consulting? --> Optimum Sports Performance

"In the beginners mind there are many possibilities, in the experts there are few."
-Buddha's Little Instruction Book

sftwrngnr

Hey Chiq,
Glad you got to take out some of that agression that is always a good thing (people watching is fun too). Keep up the great attitude, and hard work!
-Dan

"Dude... thats a lot-a weight... I mean yer like... what... 50??" Said to me by a 17 year old when I was doing deadlifts.
--------------------------------------
Current Stats:
Age: 39
Squat: 585 Bench: 265 (STILL Pathetic) Deadlift: 565 Weight: 218
Goals:
Interrupted due to accident !
Rehab journal:
Dan's rehab journal
Training journal:
Dan's westside training journal

chiquita6683

woohoo! thanx guys! it was a fun day

In my opinion, it looks like you want your outside to look the way you feel deep inside. You know how hard you've worked to get where you are, and the physical expression of the internal strength is why you like the idea of muscle -Kane

gwcaton

Hi Maria

Glad you had a fun day !!!!

My Last Journal Before The One You're Reading Now
Old Journals :
My P/RR/S Journal
My GWcaton Journal
My Bulking Journal

Just remember, when you think you're done you've just started . DEADBOLT . 2005

chiquita6683

hmm im like really concerned about my diet, but not really just bored and really bummed
yesterday we got our syllabus(the roofers-i dont have to do all this), and it said what we'll need for class.... which was a nail apron, steeltoes shoes, pencils, calculators, glasses, and he kept sayin "get ur own tape" well i felt stupid bc i was the only 1 that asked what kinda tape? duct tape? i had to get a 25-30ft tape measure Would you have known what he was talkin about?
so Today i show up with a nail apron bc over the summer i went shopping in home depot for something and we had to go, and it was like a buck ninetynine so i grabbed it last minute and was like "oh gotta have it!" and i had plastic glasses on my head i looked so cute! i was all ready to go and everything, i even had on my brown doc martens that usta wear w my uniform @school(they arent steeltoe though) but i was all xcited.......... and i thru the building door to see 5 guys in my class walking towards me, "Class is CANCELED"

In my opinion, it looks like you want your outside to look the way you feel deep inside. You know how hard you've worked to get where you are, and the physical expression of the internal strength is why you like the idea of muscle -Kane

sftwrngnr

Hi Maria,
First off, the fact that you went out and got everything you needed for class and was prepared today shows that you are serious about learning, and clearly desire to actively participate. Don't worry about not knowing what kind of tape you needed... its "trade jargon," and no, I wouldn't have known what he was talking about, and I have a degree in computer science and math. You aren't stupid! If you are in a particular field, you know what certain phrases mean... if you aren't in that field, you have to learn what they mean.

I would suggest that you start food journaling if you are concerned about your diet. I am just starting to go through the process of changing my diet so that it is more in line with what my goals are... the first step (for me) is to journal what I eat, and then make the appropriate adjustments. There are lots of people on this board who will help you out.

Have a wonderful day!

-Dan

P.S. You want steel toed boots, even though they aren't very fashionable, so that you don't smash your pretty little toes!

"Dude... thats a lot-a weight... I mean yer like... what... 50??" Said to me by a 17 year old when I was doing deadlifts.
--------------------------------------
Current Stats:
Age: 39
Squat: 585 Bench: 265 (STILL Pathetic) Deadlift: 565 Weight: 218
Goals:
Interrupted due to accident !
Rehab journal:
Dan's rehab journal
Training journal:
Dan's westside training journal

chiquita6683

No no no omg!
i came from a nice vacation to find my bedroom completely TRASHED! my brother whos an 26 yr old baby w serious sick problems had went in my closet hooked up my vcr, the bottom drawer of my dresser was open, the picture of a muscle girls body w the head folded down had been ripped down from my book case, ashes were in my keyboard, no smoking is allowed in my house, my dad always has gone outside and so has he when he is sober, the whole house smelled like pot/cigar, i feel so dirty like violated now! my curtains I Bought form potterybarn, my pillows, ewww! i cant beleive he smoked in my room, everything like ruined now! gross! he must've hada party in here! and he downloaded some shit on my computer that i cant get off now. now i going to have to this geek come over and fix it, but hes really nice and i know hell do it for me. just the fact that i have to have someone do it bc lastime he was over here, he had it running perfect..........n im gonna hafta xplain the story.......
so then he came n puta load a clothes in the washer then crashed.......earlier the day be4 i had come home from vacation, and found the house in filth. so i was mad! i took his clean clothes out of the washer and went outside rubbed them into the dirt, it made me feel somewhat better. but i know i was sinking to his level.........well not that low really. so when my dad picked me back up from school hes going to play golf w his gf, and my aunt. he said he might come by to get some his things, hes FINALLY moving out!

In my opinion, it looks like you want your outside to look the way you feel deep inside. You know how hard you've worked to get where you are, and the physical expression of the internal strength is why you like the idea of muscle -Kane

sftwrngnr

Maria,
I'm so sorry that your brother was a jerk. Sigh... I don't have any sage words of advice for you. BTW... be nice to geeks ... I'm one (seriously).

-Dan

"Dude... thats a lot-a weight... I mean yer like... what... 50??" Said to me by a 17 year old when I was doing deadlifts.
--------------------------------------
Current Stats:
Age: 39
Squat: 585 Bench: 265 (STILL Pathetic) Deadlift: 565 Weight: 218
Goals:
Interrupted due to accident !
Rehab journal:
Dan's rehab journal
Training journal:
Dan's westside training journal

chiquita6683

i think i really freaked my dad out........i mean im fine.
this afternoon on the way to acupunture, i thought i heard an alarm or ringing noise.......i asked my dad, "u dont hear that alarm going off?", he said no, i rolled down the car window for a second, we got up on the expressway, i got this intense pain in the middle of my forehead like my head was gonna expload, i was moaning. my dad put his hand on my leg and said "we're almost there." i was able to walk into the office and everything but i had my hand on my head and a bad look on my face, i got my blood pressure taken, 120/82, i never ever get headaches! only got severe 1s after the 2nd accident which i took loritab for. but they only lasted a few months. my dad was scared, he started calling all kinds of people telling them about this, making it out to be some "traumatic event" but it went away in like 15 minutes.
dr.wolfgang the chinese medicine man(not really) thinks on too much medicine. he does the acupunture, when i got there he started needleing me, i took 2 tylenol, the headache slowly went away as my chi was stimulated.

were having a meeting w dr murray tomorrow (the man whoes been treating me for 4 yrs, he's such a great dr!)

In my opinion, it looks like you want your outside to look the way you feel deep inside. You know how hard you've worked to get where you are, and the physical expression of the internal strength is why you like the idea of muscle -Kane

chiquita6683

oh no long day..........my apt was @2w dr murray, never saw him. had my last treatment of HBOT,didnt get outa the office till 7. he "tweaked" my medicine some more. i had an uncomfortable situation earlier.........i was in a really good mood earlier today in class, so i was like being really sociable, asking every1 their name(not like ill remember em) and u know i took inniative and had every1 write a sentence "This is a carpenty class." so i could pick some1 to be my notetaker. I was trying to xplain how all they have to do is take notes on the paper i give em, and this ol' man in the class speaks up and starts nit picking on every lil thing i was saying and it just got to the point where i was just did the 'smile n nod', then the retard i gave the honor of taking my notes says "its after 10, i cant get paid" when he had just agreed to me n the teacher he would. he gets paid for taking notes....hes gotta be in the class too, and its on the ditto kind of paper.
so im stressing cause im not getting the notes the first notes on board! oh yeah remember how i usta be really inaprropriate when i was in a good mood, like going around the gym slapping the guys on the ass, mooning people. well ive gotten somewhat better i think.....only like now, im kinda the class sweetheart ina way. but the class was on break and messin around, so i go over to this guy sit on his desk (this is only the 3rd day of shcool, and hes like this really fat kid) and start talking to him. those meds i can remember making him nervous, he just kept looking down at his book and he asked me to sit down next to him, i did, then i felt like a dumbass. i told my dr. what i did while my dad was in the room and my sister was on speaker phone. he said i have really good insight

yeah i so dont care about bb anymore, well its definitly not a priority anymore. i wasnt even gonna make a journal entry tonite but somebody turned on my computer earlier today i guess. im not checking my email.

i feel bad everytime my dad gets frustrated. its not even my fault half the time, he just tries to always be on time, or his insurance company isnt covering my presciption tonight for some reason. we're spose to be hit w a hurricane this weekend

In my opinion, it looks like you want your outside to look the way you feel deep inside. You know how hard you've worked to get where you are, and the physical expression of the internal strength is why you like the idea of muscle -Kane

chiquita6683

so i dont even know how to make a journal/posts, most of u are probly like what the hell is this girl talking about? i forget to put in major parts of my story i think or explain things i think. but it just feels good to get it out and even better when some1 responds.

In my opinion, it looks like you want your outside to look the way you feel deep inside. You know how hard you've worked to get where you are, and the physical expression of the internal strength is why you like the idea of muscle -Kane

chiquita6683

Bench Press- on the um machine where the bars not free, forgot what its called?
25lb plates on each side x was gonna do 15, forgot n did 16 felt good
add 10lb plate to each side x12
add 10lb plate to " " fatigued after half a halfass rep here..... then i dont what i was thinkin, i do more

Dumbells- 25lbs x 20 my form wasnt too good bc my damn right arm wouldnt get straightened at all, (beleive me its come along way right after my accident it was dead weight)

i havent really been in the gym in like 6 months so im a dumbass for doing my pr my first day going in..........but im like not experienced. i didnt schedule w Kris, i trained on my own. but ill be in painnext week
today i went to the gym bc everythings closed, a hurricanes coming.
oh! kris won her weightclass!

In my opinion, it looks like you want your outside to look the way you feel deep inside. You know how hard you've worked to get where you are, and the physical expression of the internal strength is why you like the idea of muscle -Kane

gwcaton

Hi Maria !

That sounds like some pretty good bench presses . Thats good news about your trainer !

My Last Journal Before The One You're Reading Now
Old Journals :
My P/RR/S Journal
My GWcaton Journal
My Bulking Journal

Just remember, when you think you're done you've just started . DEADBOLT . 2005

fantasma62

Hi Maria,


Just passing by to check on you. I have not been coming by lately because of the whole getting ready for the hurricane thing. I live in Miami and that thing was headed here. I am sure that it will do some damage, but I am pretty safe at home.
Anyway, I will catch up with you a bit later, post hurricane.

Have a great day!!!

-Tony-

HIHT: High Intensity Hybrid Training

chiquita6683

we had swim pratice this morning, it was beautiful, but its raining n gettin windy now, we wont get too much of it though, maybe tomorrow. stay safe tony good luck

In my opinion, it looks like you want your outside to look the way you feel deep inside. You know how hard you've worked to get where you are, and the physical expression of the internal strength is why you like the idea of muscle -Kane

katie64

Hi Maria.......Just seeing what's going on in your life, I miss you and others here, maybe I should start a journal again, hope your safe in FL, my brother lives in Jensen Beach, so I've been watching constantly, take care..........

Each of us conceals an abyss, though few of us are aware of its existence, and even fewer dare to explore its vastness.


Katie
[color="Green"]My Journal...[/COLOR