J'Bo

hey toots
i am so happy that your feeling great, you look marvelous too
pm me if you want to talk

....and thats my $.02

Jenny

Thanks Nc I'm so disgusted looking at my before pics.. I don't think I really understood that I was that fat!! I've always been the girl that works out and looks fit, so I guess I really didn't understand how bad I was looking. It feels good not to be that person anymore though

J'bo, Hey sweetie poooo! I'm missing you, we need to chat soon! How are you these days?

Jenny

I'm kinda thinking about doing a fitness comp I don't know if my body is ready for it, I would love to get some input from people. Obviously I would have to be leaner.. but I think I could do that.. If not a comp I want to do a photo shoot! How would I get in touch with a photographer?
Peeps, help!!

david

Hey Jenny!

Competition? That would be cool!!!! I think you'd do really well!

Photo Shoot- magazines or general photographer?

Well, I'm out the door and it's funny bc/ the band has a photo shoot today also for print advertising for a magazine! I hate getting up so early after going to sleep after rehearsal late night!

Talk soon and have a great day!

Jill

DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

And send them to Oxygen fit mag.

By the way I was scared to open my journal when I saw your post this am.....sorryBack on track right now! 6am cardio!

Jenny

David Thanks sweets. I'm not sure about the fitness comp. Maybe I shouldn't do that this year while being here.. On the other hand there are more opportunities here.. Hmmm. Do you know how I could get in touch with a photographer?

Jill, aww, thanks sweets I do want to do it. It would take a lot of effort for sure. I think I need to put on more muscle for competing, but for a photoshoot I don't really need to
Don't be scared sweets You know, it's your body and not mine, so I won't get pissed

Jenny

Wednesday:

Meals:
1: 5 whites, 1 yolk, 1 slice lc bread, 3 wheat thins, 1 tbsp butter
2: 5 oz chicken, veggies, ff ranch, 1/3 cup sweetpotatoes, 4 wheat thins, 2 tbsp coffee creamer, 1 slice ff cheese
3: 5 oz chicken, 1/3 cup sweetpotatoes, veggies, ff ranch, 1 tsp pb, 1 lc tortilla.
4: protein shake, veggies, 1 tsp pb, 2 tbsp cool whip, 5 almonds

Totals:
1598 cals
172g protein 45%
94g carbs 25%
51g fat 30%

workouts:
- AM: 40 min powerwalk. Wanted to run, but I do need to allow my body to recover..
- walking to school and home

ncgirl21

From what I've seen......... you could compete right now! You'd be doing figure - right?

http://stephlg.proboards44.com/index.cgi#general

J'Bo

We do need to chat so that i know whats going on with you babe
i think that you would be great doing fitness and you definately have the support of everyone here. Let me know if there is anything i can do to help.
to get in touch with a photographer the best way is to send them photos of you over the net (i found it the best way) or mail them a few with a letter. Most photographers will charge you but you may strike it lucky. Look in the backs of the magazines and you can find addresses and sometimes email addresses to the photographers and editors.

I am doing great and in love
Aaron is wonderful and we had an amazing time in Calgary biking and kissing everywhere

....and thats my $.02

Jenny

Andrea, noooo, I'm not ready for a comp now! I would have to be leaner, and probably have more mass in my upper body. Yes, it would be figure if I did anything.

J'booty, I definitly need help if I'll do a photoshoot!! Okay, I will look through mags and try to find ads.. Will have Justin take some pics of me that I could send
Who's Aaron?? Happy to hear you're happy

J'Bo

Aarons my boy that i met camping a couple of monthes ago.
We have been hanging out almost everyday since
cant get enough of eachother

....and thats my $.02

PreMier

mmm fitness model Jenny

P-side Inc.

"the post-workout high is more profound than any drug-induced rush imaginable." -Dante B.

Jenny

J, I'm so happy for you

Jake, we'll see

My roomie just made brownies and it smells incredible in here!! I made Justin eat one and had a tiny bite Boyfriends are good to have

Stacey

Hey Jenny!! Just wanted to say Hi! I think a photoshoot would be perfect for you. I'm actually going to do one myself hopefully Soon!!! It's my goal! You would be great in photos-- you are very beautiful & Photo well!!

Take care honey!

I Believe in the Impossible!!!

Jenny

Hey Stacey!! I really enjoyed the chat the other night Yeah, I really think you should do a photoshoot!!
Have a great day, hope work will be better today!

Jenny

Thursday (almost friday!!):

Meals:
1: (after spinning and I was stahaharving) 5 whites, 1 yolk, 1/3 cup sweetpotatoe, 5 wheat thins, 1/3 lc tortilla, 1 tsp butter
2: 4 oz chicken, 1/4 cup sweetpotatoe, 8 wheat thins (yes, I'm over my limit now ), 1/2 lc tortilla, 1 tsp butter, veggies

Workouts:
- AM: 60 min spinning
- transportation walking total of 60 min

PreMier

Crack head!

P-side Inc.

"the post-workout high is more profound than any drug-induced rush imaginable." -Dante B.

Jenny

I know, I overdosed I'm feeling a little sick, might come down with a cold

Jenny

I think I should win a "best girlfriend award" Campusfood.com have a deal where you get a free pizza when you sign up. I ordered one and surprised Justin with it

PreMier

You'll have to get that reward from Justin. You're not dating me, so I am not giing it to you lol

Aww, I hope that you dont get sick! Keep drinkin water, and maybe up your dose of Vit C.

P-side Inc.

"the post-workout high is more profound than any drug-induced rush imaginable." -Dante B.

Jenny

Thanks Jake Haha, yeah, I guess Justin should be the one giving me the award and not you

I'm stressed out right now. Big exam tomorrow and I just DON'T feel like studying I'm eating more crackers and I don't care My roomies are going out for beer olympics tonight and I'm staying home studying So if I want to eat some god damn crackers I will

PreMier

Ok.. its ok to eat crackers

P-side Inc.

"the post-workout high is more profound than any drug-induced rush imaginable." -Dante B.

Jenny

What about chocolate chip cookies?
Yeah, I'm overdoing the eating tonight, but I don't caaaaaaare A week since I cheated, it'll be my weekly cheat meal

PreMier

*Flame suit on*

Eat anything that your little heart desires
You know how to stay in shape, and shouldnt be too worried.

P-side Inc.

"the post-workout high is more profound than any drug-induced rush imaginable." -Dante B.

Jill

He gorgeous!!! Last night at wallymart I bought a box of wheat thins...Im practicing control over restriced foods-I just cant live like this forever, you know what I mean? I havent eaten any, yet, yaaaaa me.

Do not go overboard on the wheaty thins. I know you have this under control. Call it a carb up.

Oh ya, I had a dream about you last night. You were sitting on this park bench by my house eating apple sauce, and I was like Jenny never eats apple sauce!

Good luck on your exam tomorrow sweets.

Jenny

Hey Jill! I threw away my crackers yesterday. They can no longer be a part of my diet, because they are a cheating trigger for me. I didn't have it under control. I cheated big time yesterday. Call it a binge if you want to. Chocolate chip cookies (like1 and a half), crackers, like 10 starburst, chex mix, mini pretzels.. Blech, I'm hungover today. It was a response to me being emotionally drained and stressed out. I just didn't care cause I had so many other things to worry about. Well today I care. I feel like shit and the thing that pisses me off the most is that it was emotional eating. That I had perfect control over before, but now I just don't. I've been under emotional pressure ever since I left sweden and I think I've just been pushing it down and down cause I didn't want to deal with it. Then I deal with it with food
I don't really worry about gaining weight from this incident, but if it happens again I know I will. So I guess I need to start from scratch and do some sort of plan.. Dealing with stress daily instead of letting it build up.. Ugh, my head is hurting now..
I don't know if I've told you guys, but my mother has had a lot of stress issues all though here life. She's had migranes and just about every stress symptom there is. She was a successful buisness woman and an over achiever. She'd do about 10 times the stuff she was supposed to and get it all done, but it took a terrible terrible toll on her body. She would speak in front of thousands of people and throw up right before and as soon as she left the stage. And the migranes would knock her out for 3+ days. Don't know if you have heard about "burnout syndrome". Some people say "yeah, I worked too hard this week, I'm all burned out". That's not what it is.. When you have burnout syndrome you hit the wall and your body just can't function. My mom had insomnia and used sleeping pills for years. She hit the wall when she hadn't had a good nights sleep for over a year. 4 hours on sleeping pills was a real good night for her back then. She hit the wall and she couldn't get out of bed.. After some months she began to accept what was happening and she cried for weeks. Just a little task like going to the grocery store was a huge deal to her and required a lot of planning. Lots and lots of therapy, rehabilitation, time and just acceptance of the person she used to be. She's been away from work for 5 years now and she's yet not ready to go back. She's a completely different person spiritually and she's my biggest rolemodel in life. Damnit, I'm crying now, where did áll these emotions come from?? Her body is still not able to handle stress very well and she does a lot of relaxation and meditation. This is all very hard for people to understand so I usually don't talk about it. It's not something that shows on the outside like a broken leg, which makes it hard for people to understand. It was rough for us for a couple of years. When she was at her worst I was at my worst with my bulimia. My mother has always been my best friend and she's the person closest to me in the world.. Damnit, I'm crying again.. When she went through her recovery we talked and talked and talked for hours. She didn't know about my bulimia, but when we talked I picked up things here and there and applied them to myself. What she was doing to herself to prove to people that she was good enough I did too, but through controlling my body. So she inspired me and after a while I decided to stop throwing up. About 3 months after I quit I told my mother about my eating disorder. She was shocked, but we talked and talked too and it helped me recover.
My mom and I are a lot alike and I struggle with the same things she does. About proving my worth, being an over achiever and just being the best. I need to pay attention to stress, I really do.. Or bad things will happen. I've learned so much from my mom, she's given me the biggest gift a mother can give to her child, personal development. Not talking to her everyday makes me forget about things I should pay attention to, such as the way I handle everyday things. I'm in a new place, I want everyone to like me and I'm overly cautious about what people think of me. I've forgotten about things that I should have in my life everyday, such as who I am and what matters to me.. I'm far away from the peaceful little girl I was this spring and summer. I feel wired and stressed.

Wow, this was a surprise. I was just supposed to write a short answer to Jill

This makes me realise that I need to change my goals a little. I shouldn't push and push myself to do a photoshoot.. What I should do is pay attention to my stress and work with that. That's what would make me happy and peaceful. Things need to change..

Jenny

Friday (finally!):

Meals:
1: 5 whites, 1 yolk, veggies, 1 tbsp ff ranch
2: 5 oz chicken, 1/2 slice lc bread, 1 tbsp butter, veggies, ff ranch
3: protein shake
4: chicken salad at Wendy's. Tasted Justin's food
5: 6 egg whites, 1 tbsp pb

Workouts:
- AM: 40 min stationary biking while doing some last minute studying.. sweaty!
- Weights: shoulder, biceps
Shoulder presses: 4x7-8
Lateral raises: 4x8
Up right rows: 4x8
Bicep cable curls: 3x8
DB curls: 3x8
Hammer curls: 3x8
- 3rd time in the gym 15 min stationary bike
Ham curls: 3x8
Crunches: 3x15