ncgirl21

I'm so sorry that your having such a hard time sweetie!! If you need to talk- pm me and I'll get your #.

http://stephlg.proboards44.com/index.cgi#general

Jill

Sending luv your way sweets.

That long post was a good one. Really. Im so happy that you know the triggers. That is something that takes time, and alot of deep diggin'. That is the difference between you and alot of other people- and you-you know your limits. You know that a photoshoot is just that-and that your mental state is much more important. Journaling does wonders.

We all have emotional days, - letting it all out makes me feel way better. I know from experince.

Smile hunny bunny! Have a great day.

Jenny

Thanks girls Justin and I just got in another fight and I'm just homesick
I was expecting days like this so it's all alright. I know I'll be okay and feel better tomorrow.. I just need some time to unwind..

Jill, thanks honey I have been digging deep for years, but there are still so many things to sort out.. It's all a process

Andrea, thanks

hikerchick

Hi sweetie!
I'm so sorry you're having a rough time, but you will come out of it even stronger. It's so hard to be away from family and friends back home. Nothing will be sweeter than seeing them again. This is just a temporary part of your life, only you can decide how much time you will spend here before you go home again. Maybe just a few months, or maybe years. Either way, you will make the best decision for YOU and be all the better for it whatever happens. But knowing you, Jenny, you'll make the very best of the time you are there. Having lots of fun, studying hard, but most importantly: being good to yourself before everything else.

Don't stress about whether everyone likes you or not, because everyone is not going to like you. Some people will dislike you just because of their own hangups and jealousy. You wouldn't want to be friends with them anyway so who cares if they like you or not? Worry about whether you like yourself, then you will attract the kind of people that you deserve to have in your life. Happy people with self confidence that will let you be yourself.

Hang in there Jenny!

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is just a habit.
- Socrates


I am worth it!

greekblondechic

jenny you have such a beautiful heart, your health and happiness is by far infinitely times more important than any photoshoot. im a bit of a hypocrit here, but u can use me as a good example as what stress can do to a person. when i went to the doctor she even mentionned that maybe depression is causing all my physical problems. which is kinda a repeat of the generalized anxiety disorder diagnosis i got from my last doctor. i guess i see why so many people smoke weed now, but thats not the right road for me. wish school taught you how to be happy and all that good stuff instead of making you crazy! I totally feel for u about eating when having too much school stuff to do.. that was my big problem for a while. i zoooned out and used food to help me pull off those horrible all nighters, and i ended up gaining a LOT of weight. dont let yourself get like that, work on your stress.. btw have you ever tried yoga? and can you teach us any of the stress relievers you picked up from your mom?

thanks honey, and hang in there.. life is tough but you are one strong chick!

I can do it

I WILL be a size 5.

Jenny

Hiker, thank you sweetie I know I don't have anything to worry about, I just need to take things day by day and not worry about things ahead.. And to lean on Justin instead of pushing him away when I feel bad. I do that a lot, have a hard time letting him in sometimes.. Need to work on that..

Greeky, I don't know if you read my post about my mom, but seeing that happening so close to me has really made me understand what stress can do to a person. When I gained a lot of weight last year it was due to stress too.. I beat it and I will never go down that road again.. Thank you for your sweet words Luckily this overeating stuff has only happened a few times, so I haven't gained any weight. I have tried yoga, but I think that just regular relaxation exercises would benefit me even more. I'm looking into some relaxation CDs that I could pop in when I need a break.

On another note, I got my exam results back I was stressing yesterday cause I thought I did really bad. The language was hard for me to understand sometimes, cause I got stressed having 100 questions in 45 mins and the language was one the advanced side . Not used to the exam style they have here either. So I had told myself not to kick my own butt if I did poorly at my first one.. Well, didn't need to, I GOT AN A!!
Talked to my mom yesterday and had a good cry. I love my family so much, they're the best!

Jenny

My roomates were so sweet to me yesterday They knew I was upset and not feeling well, but I just went to my room and closed the door cause I didn't feel comfortable crying in front of them. They were like "please talk to us, we want to be there for you" and I said I would, just give me some time When I came back from being with Justin for some time, I found a card on my door. They had bought a really sweet card and written me some really sweet messages I was so happy, they really are great girls

hikerchick

Sounds like everything is falling into place Jenny. Congratulations on the A on your test. All that hard studying paid off. Now give yourself a break Just keep taking good care of yourself and use the people around you to support you. You can return the favor when they need a little love. Sounds like your roomates are awesome people, I'm so glad. That makes life so much sweeter and easier when you have people around that care about you. Have a great day Jenny! Enjoy your weekend.

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is just a habit.
- Socrates


I am worth it!

Jenny

Thank you so much Hiker I'm so glad to have you back here I feel like I'm starting over and getting back to the real Jenny, not the fake Jenny who's been showing her face here a lot lately. I need the inner peace that I've had, the strenght of my mind, it's just where I want to be.
I hope you'll have a wonderful weekend too sweetie! Give your wonderful little girl a hug for me

Jenny

Saturday:

Meals:
1: 6 whites, 1/3 cup sweet potaotes, 1/2 slice lc bread, veggies, 2 tbsp ff ranch
2: snack: 1/2 lc tortilla, 1 tsp butter, 1 slice ff cheese, 2 tbsp creamer in coffee (15 cals per tbsp)
3: 5 oz chicken, 1/2 lc tortilla, 1/2 slice ff cheese, veggies, ff ranch
4: 5 oz chicken, veggies, 1 ff sf fudge bar (60cals )
5: 2 oz turkey, veggies, 1 sf ff fudge bar

Totals:
1473cals
184g protein 53%
110g carbs 32%
24g fat 15%

Workouts:
- AM: 30 min running, 20 min walking. Really wanted to run more but my ankle was bothering me Really windy and grey here now, our little share of Ivan. Had a lot of rain yesterday.

M.J.H.

Nice to see that everything is getting better Jenny. You really sound like you have a great family and group of friends (roomates). Great job getting an 'A' on the test, that's always a good feeling. When are you going to get to see your family next?

Diet is looking great too, hang in there!

Stats!
23 years old, 5'11.5", 206 lbs., ~8% bodyfat

380/455/655 bench/squat/deadlift (current)
405/495/675 bench/squat/deadlift (goals)

The M.J.H. Chronicles

Jenny

Thanks Monstar I do have a great family and my roomates are great I'm going home on Dec 11th and going to stay there for 10 days and then going to Chicago to spend Christmas with Justin and his family.

Hope you're having a great weekend!

hikerchick

You're welcome babe. Whatever it takes for you to be your best, take that time for yourself. I am glad I'm back too I love the support and caring from you guys.

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is just a habit.
- Socrates


I am worth it!

greekblondechic

Awwwwww glad things are looking up sweetie! See those clouds can't stay over someone as sunny as you!

Btw, I'm not crazy about yoga either

I can do it

I WILL be a size 5.

Jenny

Hiker, that's what I love too, the support from others

Greeky, yeah, I'm feeling great! I actually did yoga this morning and loved it

Jenny

Sunday:

Meals:
1: 6 whites, 1 slice ww lc bread, 1 tsp butter
2: 5 oz chicken, 1 slice lc bread, veggies, ff ranch
3: protein shake, 1 fudge bar
4: 1 turkey burger, veggies, 1 slice lc bread
Sweeeet snack : 25 m&ms(the small all chocolate kind),
2 starbursts, 2 tootsie rolls, 1cup ff sf pudding

Totals:
1388cals
148g protein 44%
116g carbs 35%
31g fat 21%

workouts:
- AM: 45 min powerwalk. Ankle still hurting so couldn't run
- 25 min yoga strenght, loved it
- Weights: Chest and triceps
Superset: DB benchpress & Incline bp x4
DB flyes: 4x8
Superset: Tricep pushdowns and reverse x3
Kickbacks: 3x8
- 40 min stationary bike

Jenny

Justin and I are actually going to church this morning His mom has been asking us to ever since we came here and we're going to go today.
After that I need to shop for some new workout pants. It's getting colder and I can't run around in shorts much longer. All my old workout pants are at least 2 or 3 sizes too big So I kinda need new ones Yeah

Jill

You tha bomb sexy thing. Make sure the shorts are short and tight, Steve luvvvvs when I wear shorts like that. Splurge on WO clothes, I always do. I look at it like I train real hard, I deserve it.

M.J.H.

That's great that you're going to get to go back home for Christmas, I am sure you're really looking forward to that. Are you close with Justin's family as well? Also I am curious if you don't mind---were you and Justin together when you made your physique transformation? Because looking at your before and after pics it's almost like night and day.

Stats!
23 years old, 5'11.5", 206 lbs., ~8% bodyfat

380/455/655 bench/squat/deadlift (current)
405/495/675 bench/squat/deadlift (goals)

The M.J.H. Chronicles

Jenny

Jill, thanks honey buns I bought some short short barely covering the butt shorts a few weeks ago Justin loves em

Mike, I'm close to Justin's family, even though I haven't met them a lot. His mom and I have been emailing a lot. Actually she just called me a few mins ago
Um, the way I looked in my fat pics was the fattest I've ever been and I didn't stay that way very long. When I met Justin the first time I was a lot leaner than that. We lived apart for our first year together so he never saw me at my fattest I was not all too lean when he saw me last november though, but he still loved me, which to me says a lot He reeeally prefers my current body though

Jenny

Oh, and I haven't mentioned a pretty important thing. When I got off my birthcontrol last september I gained a lot of weirght. Most people lose weight when they get off the pill, but the body can also respond by doing the opposite. It took a long time for me to get my hormones in balance after that, in fact I didn't have my period for like 8 months. So that definately had a lot to do with my weight gain.. I'm never messing with my hormones again, I'm going to stick with non-hormonal alternatives. It's just not worth it to mess with it, I've heard so many people having bad things happening to them due to being on the pill.

Jill

Ive stopped the pill for 3 months now and have yet to have a period-so you think this is normal??? Im with you on not messin' with my hormones again, unless of course I get preggo.

greekblondechic

LoL, maybe I should try yoga again too, I might like it next time!

What kind of bad things happen to women due to the pill? I've never taken it but I've been considering it to straighten out some hormonal issues and get my period regulated.. so it would be really helpful info, thanks!

I can do it

I WILL be a size 5.

Jill

Are your totals including those treats??? AND are you talking about those mini baby really small m&m's, or the reg ones? Just checkin. I bought some treats today for my cheat day on wed.

Jenny

Jill, I think it's totally normal Especially if you've been on them for a long time. I got on them when I was 15 and was on them for 5 years, and it took a long time for me to get normal periods again. You want to get pregnant now? Awwww, I just found out that Justin's older brother and his wife are expecting their second child!! I almost started crying, I love babies so much!!

Greeky, yeah, it is lots of fun! Well, women on the pill are more prone to get some sorts of cancer (you can talk to J'bo about this....), some women have problems with fertility.. Just a lot of things.. I don't believe in messing with hormones in any way.

I had teeeeeeeerrible sweet cravings today I think it's due to my period.. So I had some plain M&Ms and some candies (4) and then sf ff jello. Then the sweet craving was over! My calories are still way low.. but I'm going to keep them there and not eat more tonight. Worked out a lot today too So I think I deserved the little candies

Jenny

Yes, the treats are included in the totals it was the mini baby ones