Jeanie's attempt at a Journal

Jeanie · 10-29-2004, 06:43 PM

Well. I had first dibs and she ahs been here longer and never said anything about him so she Snoozed she loozed(

)!

gwcaton · 10-29-2004, 08:19 PM

youz gilrz are crazeeeeee !

Jeanie · 10-29-2004, 09:59 PM

Okay, on a more serious note.....the end is near for this marriage

. My husband blew up in front of my daughter, using the f word left and right, slaming things down and slammings doors closed

. My daughter was terrified.

She and I had a long talk and it really made me realize that it is time to go. She kept saying, "Mommy, don't let him hurt you" I explained that he has never touched me but I can sincerely understand her fear. I do not and will not tolerate disrespect directed at me, especially in front of my children

. I am ready to go. I have done some calculations and budgting, but I think I can make it. I just can't take it anymore

.

I Know that it is weird that I use emoticons, but humor is another way i deal with stress.

gwcaton · 10-29-2004, 10:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jeanie

Okay, on a more serious note.....the end is near for this marriage

. My husband blew up in front of my daughter, using the f word left and right, slaming things down and slammings doors closed

. My daughter was terrified.

She and I had a long talk and it really made me realize that it is time to go. She kept saying, "Mommy, don't let him hurt you" I explained that he has never touched me but I can sincerely understand her fear. I do not and will not tolerate disrespect directed at me, especially in front of my children

. I am ready to go. I have done some calculations and budgting, but I think I can make it. I just can't take it anymore

.

I Know that it is weird that I use emoticons, but humor is another way i deal with stress.

Good luck Jeanie !

My wife was in a relationship similar to yours ,but included physical abuse, for years . She finally got out. It was hard for her for awhile but she made it

Then she met me and it has been heaven on earth for her ever since

So she says .

**Emma-Leigh** · 10-30-2004, 04:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jeanie

.....the end is near for this marriage

. My husband blew up in front of my daughter, using the f word left and right, slaming things down and slammings doors closed

. My daughter was terrified.

She and I had a long talk and it really made me realize that it is time to go. She kept saying, "Mommy, don't let him hurt you" I explained that he has never touched me but I can sincerely understand her fear. I do not and will not tolerate disrespect directed at me, especially in front of my children

. I am ready to go.

Good. The last thing you want to teach your daughter is that this type of behaviour is exceptable.

That type of thing is just not on - A partnership in life is about mutual love, respect and friendship. If your husband is not showing you that, then that relationship is not one you want your daughter to role model off...

You are making the right choice and we are all here to support you.

Quote:

I Know that it is weird that I use emoticons, but humor is another way i deal with stress.

Humour is actually a mature way of dealing with stress (it is a mature coping mechanism!). And it is much better than curling up into a ball or regressing to childish behaviour in the hope that it all 'goes away' by itself or in the hope that someone will save you.

Good luck.

Luke9583 · 10-30-2004, 09:29 AM

I hope it's a good day for you Jeanie

Sapphire · 10-30-2004, 10:04 AM

Good for YOU!!! You can do it Hun!! Be strong, do it for your daughter!! If you need to talk, PM me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jeanie · 10-30-2004, 02:07 PM

Thank you all for your support. I really need it. My husband and I had a long talk this morning...of course that was after he accused me of going to the gym to meet someone there or just so that I could be "seen and admired". I had gotten up earlier then usual because I wanted to get to the gym and back before my kids woke up so that they wouldn't be awake with him without me around. Don't worry, he would never hurt them...anyway, he also said someting about me living off of my own hype etc...people telling me how great I look.

I tried to explain that I enjoy being at this lower weight and he feels that I still should want to look good for him too, which means to him gaining weight to look more womanly.

I respect that his taste is a fuller size woman but he has me and I WILL NOT change who I am to make him feel better

.
To make a really long story short, We had a serious talk about where we are headed. We discussed seperating and I believe that is what will be happening.

We both agreed that we each needed to think on this so that we don't act out of selfishness.
Now I am just not sure what to do. He did agree that I should stay in the house and he would move out so the kids wouldn't have so much disruption in their lives...He is their stepdad. Thank God we don't have any kids together.
My life is in limbo right now and I don't know what to do.

GoalGetter · 10-30-2004, 05:26 PM

Good for you, Jeanie. It sounds like the right thing to do. And at least he was open to talking about this, and is being cooperative (saying he'll be the one to move out, etc.). You're definitely doing the right thing for your kids, and ultimately for yourself. It's always sad when a relationship comes down to a situation like this, but sometimes it's best to call it a day before things get worse.

I'm here if you want to talk.

GoalGetter · 10-30-2004, 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jeanie

My life is in limbo right now and I don't know what to do.

No. You DO know what to do. And you're doing it.

Jeanie · 10-30-2004, 05:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoalGetter

I'm here if you want to talk.

I want to call you but I am afraid I will start crying in the phone. I havent really cried over this yet, except the exagerated crying I did this morning.

GoalGetter · 10-30-2004, 05:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jeanie

I want to call you but I am afraid I will start crying in the phone. I havent really cried over this yet, except the exagerated crying I did this morning.

Call when you're ready. And hey, in your line of work (and my ex-line of work!), you should know by now, crying is perfectly OK and even good for you!

Jeanie · 10-30-2004, 05:34 PM

Thanks Ivy, I really appreciate your support.

**Emma-Leigh** · 10-30-2004, 06:13 PM

Hey Jeanie,

It is great to see you two sat down and talked it over. Seperating is a big step, but you are doing it for the right reasons and the fact he is letting you and the kids stay in the house is wonderful.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jeanie

My life is in limbo right now and I don't know what to do.

As it was said, you do know what to do - and you are doing it. Listen to your head and follow your instincts. They are telling you what you need to do to survive to remain true to yourself emotionally, psychologically and physically.

Be strong. We are all here for you.

Jeanie · 10-30-2004, 06:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emma-Leigh

Hey Jeanie,

It is great to see you two sat down and talked it over. Seperating is a big step, but you are doing it for the right reasons and the fact he is letting you and the kids stay in the house is wonderful.

As it was said, you do know what to do - and you are doing it. Listen to your head and follow your instincts. They are telling you what you need to do to survive to remain true to yourself emotionally, psychologically and physically.

Be strong. We are all here for you.

I think you are right about the instincts. I just hate change. I am scared

. We had been best friends for so long but I think I changed (grew) and he hasn't. He wants a submissive wife and I want an equal who is not jealous. Please keep telling me I am doing the right thing.

Jeanie · 10-30-2004, 07:31 PM

Despite the drama today, I managed to do cardio this morning and weight training this afternoon.

Incline DB Press
15 x 20
20 x 15
25 x 26
25 x 15
usually do 30's or even 35's but I am mentally drained

Decline DB Press
25 x 15
25 x 15
25 x 15
super setted with decline abs 25 x 3

isolateral wide chest
25 x 15
25 x 15
35 x 10
35 x 10

Cable Crossovers
40 x 12
40 x 12
40 x 12
30 x 15

Tricep (singles) pull downs
20 x 20
30 x 15
30 x 15
30 to failure

push downs with V
70 x 15
70 x 15
70 x 15

ABS
situps with a 10 pound plate
30 x 3
ab crunch on ball 30 x 3

Rissole · 10-30-2004, 09:11 PM

I know what you should do, Come to Australia. Live with us until you get settled

My wife is a great cook and she can handle the diets and our kids could go berzerk together

Jeanie · 10-31-2004, 01:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rissole

I know what you should do, Come to Australia. Live with us until you get settled

My wife is a great cook and she can handle the diets and our kids could go berzerk together

Whoa, nice avatar!
I didn't realize you lived so far away!

Jeanie · 10-31-2004, 01:45 PM

Well, today is a new day

. My husband was away all day yesterday and had time to think about what has happened to our friendship. We had a long talk and he honestly realized that he had really hurt me

. He really wants to work this out and is willing to change his ways and his perceptions. There are a lot of things that were laid on the table and I think that this is going to be the test that needs to be tried before we give up on such a good thing. We have always been best friends and then we just started to drift apart. I am really hoping for the best here.

Once again, thanks everyone for your support. And don't worry, if things go back to how they were then we agreed to split, we just have to try this again.
when he got up the morning he had already done some changing of his ways....I hugged him and encouraged his new behaviors!

Sapphire · 10-31-2004, 01:48 PM

Good luck Hun! I hope all works out for the best for you!!

Jeanie · 10-31-2004, 03:43 PM

Cardio one hour

My work out looks kinda weak but I am realy working on form

Shoulders
DB Press
15 x 20
20 x 15
25 x 15
25 x 15

Single standing DB (behind neck)
15 x 15
15 x 15
15 x 20 (failure)

Lateral Raises
5 x 20
5 x 20
5 x 20
5 x 20 drop to 3 utnil failure

Rope Pulls (rear delts)
60 x 15
70 x 15
70 x 15

bent over lateral raises
15 x 15 x 3

Rissole · 11-01-2004, 01:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jeanie

Whoa, nice avatar!
I didn't realize you lived so far away!

Thanks J, That was about 2 weeks after my comp

Australia is God's own

Good news about your man, sad to hear you won't be coming over

Jeanie · 11-01-2004, 06:21 AM

Good morning everyone.....I am starting a new and improved life today so it is only fitting that i start a new journal ......
The Never Ending Journal to Perfection

GoalGetter · 11-01-2004, 06:47 AM

Quote:

10-29-2004, 06:43 PM	#301
Jeanie Mom/Student/Wifey Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: None Ya! Posts: 939 Photos: 6	Well. I had first dibs and she ahs been here longer and never said anything about him so she Snoozed she loozed( )!
	Current weight 130.4 Goal weight 125 11 bf% Overall Goal is to be the best I can be and feel good http://www.ironmagazineforums.com/ga...ent_BF-med.jpg

10-29-2004, 08:19 PM	#302
gwcaton Lookin' for abs ! Elite Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: central missouri Posts: 9,271 Photos: 28	youz gilrz are crazeeeeee !
	My Last Journal Before The One You're Reading Now Old Journals : My P/RR/S Journal My GWcaton Journal My Bulking Journal Just remember, when you think you're done you've just started . DEADBOLT . 2005

10-29-2004, 09:59 PM	#303
Jeanie Mom/Student/Wifey Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: None Ya! Posts: 939 Photos: 6	Okay, on a more serious note.....the end is near for this marriage . My husband blew up in front of my daughter, using the f word left and right, slaming things down and slammings doors closed . My daughter was terrified. She and I had a long talk and it really made me realize that it is time to go. She kept saying, "Mommy, don't let him hurt you" I explained that he has never touched me but I can sincerely understand her fear. I do not and will not tolerate disrespect directed at me, especially in front of my children . I am ready to go. I have done some calculations and budgting, but I think I can make it. I just can't take it anymore . I Know that it is weird that I use emoticons, but humor is another way i deal with stress.
	Current weight 130.4 Goal weight 125 11 bf% Overall Goal is to be the best I can be and feel good http://www.ironmagazineforums.com/ga...ent_BF-med.jpg

10-30-2004, 09:29 AM	#306
Luke9583 Lucky Luke Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: idaho Posts: 5,379 Photos: 9	I hope it's a good day for you Jeanie
	New goal for 2005, 190lbs @ 7% bf "She Blew my nose, and then she blew my mind"

10-30-2004, 10:04 AM	#307
Sapphire P/RR/S groupie Join Date: May 2003 Location: anywhere my love Chris is... Posts: 4,449 Photos: 4	Good for YOU!!! You can do it Hun!! Be strong, do it for your daughter!! If you need to talk, PM me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
	Sapphire "Thank goodness that perfection is something I will never reach, which will keep me striving till the day I die" ...... GOPRO http://www.ironmagazineforums.com/at...chmentid=17570 http://www.ironmagazineforums.com/at...chmentid=17638 http://www.ironmagazineforums.com/at...chmentid=17567 http://www.ironmagazineforums.com/at...chmentid=17622

10-30-2004, 02:07 PM	#308
Jeanie Mom/Student/Wifey Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: None Ya! Posts: 939 Photos: 6	Thank you all for your support. I really need it. My husband and I had a long talk this morning...of course that was after he accused me of going to the gym to meet someone there or just so that I could be "seen and admired". I had gotten up earlier then usual because I wanted to get to the gym and back before my kids woke up so that they wouldn't be awake with him without me around. Don't worry, he would never hurt them...anyway, he also said someting about me living off of my own hype etc...people telling me how great I look. I tried to explain that I enjoy being at this lower weight and he feels that I still should want to look good for him too, which means to him gaining weight to look more womanly. I respect that his taste is a fuller size woman but he has me and I WILL NOT change who I am to make him feel better . To make a really long story short, We had a serious talk about where we are headed. We discussed seperating and I believe that is what will be happening. We both agreed that we each needed to think on this so that we don't act out of selfishness. Now I am just not sure what to do. He did agree that I should stay in the house and he would move out so the kids wouldn't have so much disruption in their lives...He is their stepdad. Thank God we don't have any kids together. My life is in limbo right now and I don't know what to do.
	Current weight 130.4 Goal weight 125 11 bf% Overall Goal is to be the best I can be and feel good http://www.ironmagazineforums.com/ga...ent_BF-med.jpg

10-30-2004, 05:26 PM	#309
GoalGetter is still around... Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Arizona Posts: 6,097	Good for you, Jeanie. It sounds like the right thing to do. And at least he was open to talking about this, and is being cooperative (saying he'll be the one to move out, etc.). You're definitely doing the right thing for your kids, and ultimately for yourself. It's always sad when a relationship comes down to a situation like this, but sometimes it's best to call it a day before things get worse. I'm here if you want to talk.

10-30-2004, 05:34 PM	#313
Jeanie Mom/Student/Wifey Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: None Ya! Posts: 939 Photos: 6	Thanks Ivy, I really appreciate your support.
	Current weight 130.4 Goal weight 125 11 bf% Overall Goal is to be the best I can be and feel good http://www.ironmagazineforums.com/ga...ent_BF-med.jpg

10-30-2004, 07:31 PM	#316
Jeanie Mom/Student/Wifey Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: None Ya! Posts: 939 Photos: 6	Despite the drama today, I managed to do cardio this morning and weight training this afternoon. Incline DB Press 15 x 20 20 x 15 25 x 26 25 x 15 usually do 30's or even 35's but I am mentally drained Decline DB Press 25 x 15 25 x 15 25 x 15 super setted with decline abs 25 x 3 isolateral wide chest 25 x 15 25 x 15 35 x 10 35 x 10 Cable Crossovers 40 x 12 40 x 12 40 x 12 30 x 15 Tricep (singles) pull downs 20 x 20 30 x 15 30 x 15 30 to failure push downs with V 70 x 15 70 x 15 70 x 15 ABS situps with a 10 pound plate 30 x 3 ab crunch on ball 30 x 3
	Current weight 130.4 Goal weight 125 11 bf% Overall Goal is to be the best I can be and feel good http://www.ironmagazineforums.com/ga...ent_BF-med.jpg

10-30-2004, 09:11 PM	#317
Rissole 2 Samuel 24:24 Elite Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: "OZTRAILYA" :D Posts: 8,289 Photos: 36	I know what you should do, Come to Australia. Live with us until you get settled My wife is a great cook and she can handle the diets and our kids could go berzerk together
	My Journal

10-31-2004, 01:45 PM	#319
Jeanie Mom/Student/Wifey Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: None Ya! Posts: 939 Photos: 6	Well, today is a new day . My husband was away all day yesterday and had time to think about what has happened to our friendship. We had a long talk and he *honestly realized* that he had really hurt me . He really wants to work this out and is willing to change his ways and his perceptions. There are a lot of things that were laid on the table and I think that this is going to be the test that needs to be tried before we give up on such a good thing. We have always been best friends and then we just started to drift apart. I am really hoping for the best here. Once again, thanks everyone for your support. And don't worry, if things go back to how they were then we agreed to split, we just have to try this again. when he got up the morning he had already done some changing of his ways....I hugged him and encouraged his new behaviors!
	Current weight 130.4 Goal weight 125 11 bf% Overall Goal is to be the best I can be and feel good http://www.ironmagazineforums.com/ga...ent_BF-med.jpg

10-31-2004, 01:48 PM	#320
Sapphire P/RR/S groupie Join Date: May 2003 Location: anywhere my love Chris is... Posts: 4,449 Photos: 4	Good luck Hun! I hope all works out for the best for you!!
	Sapphire "Thank goodness that perfection is something I will never reach, which will keep me striving till the day I die" ...... GOPRO http://www.ironmagazineforums.com/at...chmentid=17570 http://www.ironmagazineforums.com/at...chmentid=17638 http://www.ironmagazineforums.com/at...chmentid=17567 http://www.ironmagazineforums.com/at...chmentid=17622

10-31-2004, 03:43 PM	#321
Jeanie Mom/Student/Wifey Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: None Ya! Posts: 939 Photos: 6	Cardio one hour My work out looks kinda weak but I am realy working on form Shoulders DB Press 15 x 20 20 x 15 25 x 15 25 x 15 Single standing DB (behind neck) 15 x 15 15 x 15 15 x 20 (failure) Lateral Raises 5 x 20 5 x 20 5 x 20 5 x 20 drop to 3 utnil failure Rope Pulls (rear delts) 60 x 15 70 x 15 70 x 15 bent over lateral raises 15 x 15 x 3
	Current weight 130.4 Goal weight 125 11 bf% Overall Goal is to be the best I can be and feel good http://www.ironmagazineforums.com/ga...ent_BF-med.jpg

11-01-2004, 06:21 AM	#323
Jeanie Mom/Student/Wifey Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: None Ya! Posts: 939 Photos: 6	Good morning everyone.....I am starting a new and improved life today so it is only fitting that i start a new journal ...... The Never Ending Journal to Perfection
	Current weight 130.4 Goal weight 125 11 bf% Overall Goal is to be the best I can be and feel good http://www.ironmagazineforums.com/ga...ent_BF-med.jpg

11-01-2004, 06:47 AM	#324
GoalGetter is still around... Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Arizona Posts: 6,097	Quote: