MonStar's Journal: Getting Back On Track!

M.J.H. · 12-10-2004, 04:24 PM

I am finally going to get serious and stop f*cking around. This is honestly getting completely out of control. And I am so f*cking sick of all this bullsh*t. Binging, and starting another journal, changing my training routine around, etc. I am sick and tired of this repeated negative cycle of events.

It's about time I stop f*cking around with this immature petty bullsh*t and get on the right track!

I used this guy today as motivation, he went from a solid 205 lbs. to a solid 220 lbs. and looks better than ever. Eating clean and training hard, that simple. I, on the other hand, sit around binging and then starving myself and changing programs and diets every other day. Letting people just pass me right on by. It's f*cking ridiculous. I need to STOP with this crap, cut out the sugar and alcohol, triple my water intake, and get a minimum of 7 hours sleep each night. No more f*cking around!

Keeping it simple, clean diet and training hard and heavy. Nothing new.

M.J.H. · 12-10-2004, 04:26 PM

I am going to start doing progress pictures every single month from now on as well, no matter what. Here I am today at a flabby 238 lbs. Flabbier than I have been in over a year.

**P-funk** · 12-10-2004, 04:28 PM

I don't understand why this stuff is so hard for you??? You appear to be very driven and dedicated. I don't understand why you fall off the wagon so easily and so frequently??

aggies1ut · 12-10-2004, 04:30 PM

I'm sorry, and am not trying to be negative, but have you ever considered therapy of some sort?

M.J.H. · 12-10-2004, 04:33 PM

Patrick: I have NO IDEA man! I can't f*cking figure it out to save my life. I think it's just BED (Binge Eating Disorder) in combination with OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). I mean I know that I have a problem with both. And for a while I was doing well at just putting aside my urge to binge. But now I am back into that horrible swing of binging and changing my program over and over and over again. I am going to try and stick it out with this one man. I mean I WANT to change, I hate doing this stupid a*s cycle over and over again.

aggies1ut: I have considered it, yes. But when I actually decide to go ahead and start therapy my binging ends up getting a lot better. So I end up telling myself this is the last time, etc.

M.J.H. · 12-10-2004, 04:33 PM

Friday; 12-10-2004

Training:

Support Rows
3 sets of 6 with 255
2 sets of 3 with 300

CG Cable Pulldowns
5 sets of 5 with 230

Nautilus Pullovers
3 sets of 7 with 280

BTN Cable Pulldowns
2 sets of 12 with 170

Nice back workout today, seemed to hit my lats pretty damn hard. Trying to steadily increase my workout volume since I am trying to drop some flab. I am thinking about doing another M1T cycle as well. Especially after seeing how much size this guy at my gym has put on.

Diet:

Meal 1: 1% cottage cheese + mandarin oranges
Preworkout: 1 scoop of Swole
Postworkout: whey protein + 1% milk
Meal 3: tuna salad sandwich, chicken noodle soup
Meal 4: grilled chicken sandwich, side salad + vinegarette dressing
Meal 5: grilled chicken + cheese sub, side salad + honey mustard dressing
Meal 6: whey protein + 1% milk

Sleep: 6 hours. Breaking this 6-hour habit and I am going to focus on 7-8 hours every night.

PreMier · 12-10-2004, 05:23 PM

I am having deja vu

BigDyl · 12-10-2004, 05:32 PM

Lifting numbers look good--whats a support row btw? I have one at my Y, but you put plates on it and like lay your chest down on it so your at a 60 degree angle or so, then grab a t-bar that is attached to the bottom of the machine. If i go too heavy, i find myself pulling myself up off the padding and as i get straighter up, I am able to pull the weight up. I wasnt sure if it was the same thing you were using.

Don't worry about the diet problems. Just do what most everyone else is doing, like getting everything out of your system, then getting serious on jan 1st.

**Mudge** · 12-10-2004, 05:59 PM

This looks just like the last post?

Anyhow, what works for me, is eventually you have to stop bitching and JUST DO IT.

JerseyDevil · 12-10-2004, 06:53 PM

^^^What he said. I'm starting to think you just crave the attention.

simbh · 12-10-2004, 07:05 PM

yep , do it man . Youre not that bad, you got a good solid built , you just need to eat right like you said and it will get back on track. Just tell anyone of us if you need some support. Id be glad to motivate you anything , take it from me , Im in the same wagon as you are ... Ive been eating clean for months , but it hasnt always been that way. So if you need some word of encouragement , Ill be glad to help bro. So this time , do it till the end !

For the water , just have a bottle of water in hands at all time, and youll get in a good 5-6 liters a day. Thats what I do , I fill it up where ever I am and I drink till my bladder explodes , lol.

**Mudge** · 12-10-2004, 07:22 PM

My thinking is Mike, that new threads aren't doing the trick, so why not just stick to one, kind of like owning up to it? I have considered doing new ones also but I want to be able to look back easily, and frankly my own diet has also been shit for some time.

The solution? For me, stop thinking about it, stop whining about it, and JUST DO IT. Because I should be further along by now, and stagnation sucks!

Good luck!

JerseyDevil · 12-10-2004, 07:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JerseyDevil

^^^What he said. I'm starting to think you just crave the attention.

Ah, c'mon guys... I'm trying to PO Mike a bit, so maybe he'll see the light. One journal, and a decent diet with some cheats.

**CowPimp** · 12-10-2004, 10:37 PM

Mike, it is my suggestion that you don't play with your hormones any more until you can get your binging under control. High levels of testosterone are associated with greater appetite, or so I have read on these forums.

Also, if you are looking for a way to boost your metabolism without cardio, then you may want to consider some circuit callisthenics like I have been doing. I seem to recall reading that you hate cardio. I find this far more enjoyable, and it requires more intensity in shorter bursts, similar to resistance training.

Oh, and I know I say this everytime, but post it if you binge this time. You're not starting from a clean slate just because you change journals. Remember that.

M.J.H. · 12-11-2004, 08:25 AM

Jake: Yeah, most people are having it too. I really need to keep this one and stop annoying everyone here at IM.

BigDyl: Hey man, thanks for stopping by, always nice to see new faces here in my journal. I am going to try and just keep my diet relatively clean, that's all. Not even perfect, because I know that's never going to happen. Here are the support rows that I am talking about:

That's not the exact machine, but it's pretty close. Chest and sternum are pressed against the apparatus so you can't cheat. Great at hitting the lats. I used an underhand grip, however.

Mudge: Thanks for the inspirational posts bro. I agree, I have to stop f*cking around, and talking and talking and talking about it and just doing it. I think if I can make it 7 days with one journal I'll keep it. But after a day or two I always throw it away. I have no idea why. I am going to focus this time and not let my stupid cravings get the best of me, etc.

JerseyDevil: I think negative motivation or whatever you call it is what I might need at this point. I mean it seems like nothing else is working---so I am willing to try anything. I don't want to have to see a therapist because I can't control my own godd*mn eating.

simbh: Thanks for stopping by, again it's great to see new faces here in my journal. I am going to stop f*cking around completely get back on track. There is no reason why I should be slacking off like this. I mean I am flabbier now than I have ever been before. That's absurd, I am not going to let myself go any longer.

BTW, about my water intake. I am basically going to stop carbonated drinks completely, at first. I want to eventually switch completely over to all water---but for now I am just cutting out carbonated drinks and doing Crystal Light, etc.

CowPimp: You're right, I absolutely HATE cardio, 100%. There is nothing that I hate more than sitting on a damn treadmill or stationary bike. Instead of cardio if you notice I increase my training frequency to nearly every single day. That way my metabolism is always getting somewhat boosted by the resistance training so frequently.

The reason that I start a new journal after I binge is because for whatever reason that's almost my excuse or way of telling myself "it's okay to binge." I go into this whole mindset "well starting tomorrow I am going to be strict so I better enjoy this last night." Really immature way of thinking, I know.

BritChick · 12-11-2004, 08:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MonStar

The reason that I start a new journal after I binge is because for whatever reason that's almost my excuse or way of telling myself "it's okay to binge." I go into this whole mindset "well starting tomorrow I am going to be strict so I better enjoy this last night." Really immature way of thinking, I know.

Hey at least you know 'why' you are doing it, now you just have to try to break the cycle.
Good morning babe.

M.J.H. · 12-11-2004, 09:56 AM

BritChick: Good morning, thanks for stopping by. Yeah I do completely realize the problem, and I just want to overcome it, that's all.

M.J.H. · 12-11-2004, 09:57 AM

Saturday; 12-11-2004

Training:

Seated DB Presses
3 sets of 5 with the 90's
2 sets of 9 with the 75's

Nautilus Lateral Raises
3 sets of 8 with 200

Upright Rows
4 sets of 6 with 165

DB Shrugs
3 sets of 9 with the 100's

Good workout this morning I think, I was a little bit foggy-minded in the gym today. Hit shoulders pretty hard. I guess because I didn't have any stimulants or food in my before I went to the gym. Oh well. Decent workout, regardless.

Diet:

Preworkout: 1 scoop of Swole
Postworkout: whey protein + 1% milk
Meal 2: turkey & cheese sandwich, mixed fruit
Meal 3: 1/2 turkey & cheese sandwich
Meal 4: 2 chicken breasts, cheese potatoes
Meal 5: tuna salad wrap
Meal 6: turkey & cheese sandwich
Meal 7: chicken noodle soup
Meal 8: whey protein + 2% milk

Sleep: 7 hours. Better, but still I would like 7+ every single night, without fail.

**Mudge** · 12-11-2004, 01:41 PM

Thats what life is all about, finding what works for you and how to overcome those things you would like to defeat.

Cold Iron · 12-11-2004, 02:37 PM

There's just something about this journal that makes me believe it's going to be the "one"

GL Bud

p.s Learn to enjoy life more....it will make EVERYTHING easier. You seem to be very overly critical of yourself. For example, you always say "i think i had a good workout". I dont think I have ever seen you definitively say you've had a great or even good WO. Your never good enough attitude, i think is what leads you to binging and whatever else is ails you. Whether that be an accompanying depression or whatever. You seem like a very good person Mike, so start to face your problems before they get worse. Good luck with everything bro, I am hard on myself too but you gotta step back and look at the whole picture sometimes.

Tyler

**Mudge** · 12-11-2004, 03:03 PM

I am self deprecating like that as well, and it can be a negative influence. Have to balance things carefully.

M.J.H. · 12-11-2004, 04:09 PM

Mudge: I think that I basically just need to break all of my bad habits, I mean honestly I think that I just have some negative habits that are tearing away at me. Bottom line, the binging has to stop, and the repeated journals have to stop. This is getting out of control.

Tyler: Thank you for your support, bud. Means a lot. I am definitely like Mudge said very hard on myself. Even if I slip up and cheat at all I feel like I just have to binge because I feel so bad about even slightly cheating on my diet. I can't eat just a scoop of ice-cream or a piece of cake. I have to go crazy and eat the entire thing. Basically because I feel like I am letting myself down in a way. I am going to try and like you said though, look at the big picture.

**Mudge** · 12-11-2004, 04:42 PM

My cheats used to be a medium pizza OR 1/2 gallon of ice cream, once a week

I remember we talked about Taco Bell before. Any avoidance of shopping markets or fast food is a neccessity when trying to eat clean for me. I will buy my food ahead of time and always at a bulk food store, never a regular grocer where they have junk left and right.

Also, missing meals is a big problem for me, because thats when I get those cravings.

sara · 12-11-2004, 05:05 PM

Mike, you have a training partner? or someone you can exchange meals with?

JerseyDevil · 12-11-2004, 06:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MonStar

The reason that I start a new journal after I binge is because for whatever reason that's almost my excuse or way of telling myself "it's okay to binge." I go into this whole mindset "well starting tomorrow I am going to be strict so I better enjoy this last night." Really immature way of thinking, I know.

12-10-2004, 04:24 PM	#1
M.J.H. Obsessed Elite Member Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Delaware Posts: 3,587 Photos: 12	MonStar's Journal: Getting Back On Track! I am finally going to get serious and stop fcking around. This is honestly getting completely out of control. And I am so fcking sick of all this bullsht. Binging, and starting another journal, changing my training routine around, etc. I am sick and tired of this repeated negative cycle of events. It's about time I stop fcking around with this immature petty bullsht and get on the right track! I used this guy today as motivation, he went from a solid 205 lbs. to a solid 220 lbs. and looks better than ever. Eating clean and training hard, that simple. I, on the other hand, sit around binging and then starving myself and changing programs and diets every other day. Letting people just pass me right on by. It's fcking ridiculous. I need to STOP with this crap, cut out the sugar and alcohol, triple my water intake, and get a minimum of 7 hours sleep each night. No more f*cking around! Keeping it simple, clean diet and training hard and heavy. Nothing new.
	Stats! 23 years old, 5'11.5", 206 lbs., ~8% bodyfat 380/455/655 bench/squat/deadlift (current) 405/495/675 bench/squat/deadlift (goals) The M.J.H. Chronicles

12-10-2004, 04:28 PM	#3
P-funk Patrick Super Moderator Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: AZ Posts: 30,434	I don't understand why this stuff is so hard for you??? You appear to be very driven and dedicated. I don't understand why you fall off the wagon so easily and so frequently??
	http://pwtraining.blogspot.com/.....come and see what is on my mind! http://ivonneberkowitz.blogspot.com/....check out Ivonne's new blog! Optimum Sports Performance "In the beginners mind there are many possibilities, in the experts there are few." -Buddha's Little Instruction Book

12-10-2004, 04:33 PM	#5
M.J.H. Obsessed Elite Member Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Delaware Posts: 3,587 Photos: 12	Patrick: I have NO IDEA man! I can't fcking figure it out to save my life. I think it's just BED (Binge Eating Disorder) in combination with OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). I mean I know that I have a problem with both. And for a while I was doing well at just putting aside my urge to binge. But now I am back into that horrible swing of binging and changing my program over and over and over again. I am going to try and stick it out with this one man. I mean I WANT to change, I hate doing this stupid as cycle over and over again. aggies1ut: I have considered it, yes. But when I actually decide to go ahead and start therapy my binging ends up getting a lot better. So I end up telling myself this is the last time, etc.
	Stats! 23 years old, 5'11.5", 206 lbs., ~8% bodyfat 380/455/655 bench/squat/deadlift (current) 405/495/675 bench/squat/deadlift (goals) The M.J.H. Chronicles

12-10-2004, 04:33 PM	#6
M.J.H. Obsessed Elite Member Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Delaware Posts: 3,587 Photos: 12	Friday; 12-10-2004 Training: Support Rows 3 sets of 6 with 255 2 sets of 3 with 300 CG Cable Pulldowns 5 sets of 5 with 230 Nautilus Pullovers 3 sets of 7 with 280 BTN Cable Pulldowns 2 sets of 12 with 170 Nice back workout today, seemed to hit my lats pretty damn hard. Trying to steadily increase my workout volume since I am trying to drop some flab. I am thinking about doing another M1T cycle as well. Especially after seeing how much size this guy at my gym has put on. Diet: Meal 1: 1% cottage cheese + mandarin oranges Preworkout: 1 scoop of Swole Postworkout: whey protein + 1% milk Meal 3: tuna salad sandwich, chicken noodle soup Meal 4: grilled chicken sandwich, side salad + vinegarette dressing Meal 5: grilled chicken + cheese sub, side salad + honey mustard dressing Meal 6: whey protein + 1% milk Sleep: 6 hours. Breaking this 6-hour habit and I am going to focus on 7-8 hours every night. Last edited by M.J.H. : 12-11-2004 at 12:33 AM.
	Stats! 23 years old, 5'11.5", 206 lbs., ~8% bodyfat 380/455/655 bench/squat/deadlift (current) 405/495/675 bench/squat/deadlift (goals) The M.J.H. Chronicles

12-10-2004, 05:23 PM	#7
PreMier happy sumo Elite Member Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 21,088 Photos: 2	I am having deja vu
	P-side Inc. "the post-workout high is more profound than any drug-induced rush imaginable." -Dante B.

12-10-2004, 04:30 PM	#4
aggies1ut NorCal Elite Member* Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Sacramento, Ca. Posts: 3,580 Photos: 19	I'm sorry, and am not trying to be negative, but have you ever considered therapy of some sort?

12-10-2004, 05:59 PM	#9
Mudge Pizza the Hut Super Moderator Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 23,027 Photos: 1	This looks just like the last post? Anyhow, what works for me, is eventually you have to stop bitching and JUST DO IT.

12-10-2004, 06:53 PM	#10
JerseyDevil GO Buckeyes! Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Southern, NJ Posts: 5,180	^^^What he said. I'm starting to think you just crave the attention. Last edited by JerseyDevil : 12-10-2004 at 07:35 PM.

12-10-2004, 07:05 PM	#11
simbh Simon Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Greater Ottawa Region , Canada Posts: 986 Photos: 4	yep , do it man . Youre not that bad, you got a good solid built , you just need to eat right like you said and it will get back on track. Just tell anyone of us if you need some support. Id be glad to motivate you anything , take it from me , Im in the same wagon as you are ... Ive been eating clean for months , but it hasnt always been that way. So if you need some word of encouragement , Ill be glad to help bro. So this time , do it till the end ! For the water , just have a bottle of water in hands at all time, and youll get in a good 5-6 liters a day. Thats what I do , I fill it up where ever I am and I drink till my bladder explodes , lol.
	When a goal is reached comes satisfaction . You're accomplished as a person when you surpass those goals .

12-10-2004, 07:22 PM	#12
Mudge Pizza the Hut Super Moderator Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 23,027 Photos: 1	My thinking is Mike, that new threads aren't doing the trick, so why not just stick to one, kind of like owning up to it? I have considered doing new ones also but I want to be able to look back easily, and frankly my own diet has also been shit for some time. The solution? For me, stop thinking about it, stop whining about it, and JUST DO IT. Because I should be further along by now, and stagnation sucks! Good luck!

12-10-2004, 10:37 PM	#14
CowPimp Fueled by Testosterone Moderator Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Silver Spring, MD Posts: 15,405	Mike, it is my suggestion that you don't play with your hormones any more until you can get your binging under control. High levels of testosterone are associated with greater appetite, or so I have read on these forums. Also, if you are looking for a way to boost your metabolism without cardio, then you may want to consider some circuit callisthenics like I have been doing. I seem to recall reading that you hate cardio. I find this far more enjoyable, and it requires more intensity in shorter bursts, similar to resistance training. Oh, and I know I say this everytime, but post it if you binge this time. You're not starting from a clean slate just because you change journals. Remember that.
	The only time it's bad to feel the burn is when you're peeing... CowPimp Picks Up Heavy Shit MySpace YouTube Videos

12-11-2004, 08:25 AM	#15
M.J.H. Obsessed Elite Member Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Delaware Posts: 3,587 Photos: 12	Jake: Yeah, most people are having it too. I really need to keep this one and stop annoying everyone here at IM. BigDyl: Hey man, thanks for stopping by, always nice to see new faces here in my journal. I am going to try and just keep my diet relatively clean, that's all. Not even perfect, because I know that's never going to happen. Here are the support rows that I am talking about: That's not the exact machine, but it's pretty close. Chest and sternum are pressed against the apparatus so you can't cheat. Great at hitting the lats. I used an underhand grip, however. Mudge: Thanks for the inspirational posts bro. I agree, I have to stop fcking around, and talking and talking and talking about it and just doing it. I think if I can make it 7 days with one journal I'll keep it. But after a day or two I always throw it away. I have no idea why. I am going to focus this time and not let my stupid cravings get the best of me, etc. JerseyDevil:* I think negative motivation or whatever you call it is what I might need at this point. I mean it seems like nothing else is working---so I am willing to try anything. I don't want to have to see a therapist because I can't control my own goddmn eating. simbh:* Thanks for stopping by, again it's great to see new faces here in my journal. I am going to stop fcking around completely get back on track. There is no reason why I should be slacking off like this. I mean I am flabbier now than I have ever been before. That's absurd, I am not going to let myself go any longer. BTW, about my water intake. I am basically going to stop carbonated drinks completely, at first. I want to eventually switch completely over to all water---but for now I am just cutting out carbonated drinks and doing Crystal Light, etc. CowPimp:* You're right, I absolutely HATE cardio, 100%. There is nothing that I hate more than sitting on a damn treadmill or stationary bike. Instead of cardio if you notice I increase my training frequency to nearly every single day. That way my metabolism is always getting somewhat boosted by the resistance training so frequently. The reason that I start a new journal after I binge is because for whatever reason that's almost my excuse or way of telling myself "it's okay to binge." I go into this whole mindset "well starting tomorrow I am going to be strict so I better enjoy this last night." Really immature way of thinking, I know.
	Stats! 23 years old, 5'11.5", 206 lbs., ~8% bodyfat 380/455/655 bench/squat/deadlift (current) 405/495/675 bench/squat/deadlift (goals) The M.J.H. Chronicles

12-11-2004, 09:56 AM	#17
M.J.H. Obsessed Elite Member Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Delaware Posts: 3,587 Photos: 12	BritChick: Good morning, thanks for stopping by. Yeah I do completely realize the problem, and I just want to overcome it, that's all.
	Stats! 23 years old, 5'11.5", 206 lbs., ~8% bodyfat 380/455/655 bench/squat/deadlift (current) 405/495/675 bench/squat/deadlift (goals) The M.J.H. Chronicles

12-11-2004, 09:57 AM	#18
M.J.H. Obsessed Elite Member Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Delaware Posts: 3,587 Photos: 12	Saturday; 12-11-2004 Training: Seated DB Presses 3 sets of 5 with the 90's 2 sets of 9 with the 75's Nautilus Lateral Raises 3 sets of 8 with 200 Upright Rows 4 sets of 6 with 165 DB Shrugs 3 sets of 9 with the 100's Good workout this morning I think, I was a little bit foggy-minded in the gym today. Hit shoulders pretty hard. I guess because I didn't have any stimulants or food in my before I went to the gym. Oh well. Decent workout, regardless. Diet: Preworkout: 1 scoop of Swole Postworkout: whey protein + 1% milk Meal 2: turkey & cheese sandwich, mixed fruit Meal 3: 1/2 turkey & cheese sandwich Meal 4: 2 chicken breasts, cheese potatoes Meal 5: tuna salad wrap Meal 6: turkey & cheese sandwich Meal 7: chicken noodle soup Meal 8: whey protein + 2% milk Sleep: 7 hours. Better, but still I would like 7+ every single night, without fail. Last edited by M.J.H. : 12-12-2004 at 01:38 AM.
	Stats! 23 years old, 5'11.5", 206 lbs., ~8% bodyfat 380/455/655 bench/squat/deadlift (current) 405/495/675 bench/squat/deadlift (goals) The M.J.H. Chronicles

12-11-2004, 01:41 PM	#19
Mudge Pizza the Hut Super Moderator Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 23,027 Photos: 1	Thats what life is all about, finding what works for you and how to overcome those things you would like to defeat.
	Kinesiology Vote @ Top 25 Deads Comp Bench Motivation Bench form MaxCalc Charles Poliquin When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. Lao-Tzu I don't know any sources so don't ask - thanks

12-11-2004, 02:37 PM	#20
Cold Iron High $ociety Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: ONtario Posts: 1,615	There's just something about this journal that makes me believe it's going to be the "one" GL Bud p.s Learn to enjoy life more....it will make EVERYTHING easier. You seem to be very overly critical of yourself. For example, you always say "i think i had a good workout". I dont think I have ever seen you definitively say you've had a great or even good WO. Your never good enough attitude, i think is what leads you to binging and whatever else is ails you. Whether that be an accompanying depression or whatever. You seem like a very good person Mike, so start to face your problems before they get worse. Good luck with everything bro, I am hard on myself too but you gotta step back and look at the whole picture sometimes. Tyler

12-11-2004, 03:03 PM	#21
Mudge Pizza the Hut Super Moderator Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 23,027 Photos: 1	I am self deprecating like that as well, and it can be a negative influence. Have to balance things carefully.
	Kinesiology Vote @ Top 25 Deads Comp Bench Motivation Bench form MaxCalc Charles Poliquin When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. Lao-Tzu I don't know any sources so don't ask - thanks

12-11-2004, 04:09 PM	#22
M.J.H. Obsessed Elite Member Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Delaware Posts: 3,587 Photos: 12	Mudge: I think that I basically just need to break all of my bad habits, I mean honestly I think that I just have some negative habits that are tearing away at me. Bottom line, the binging has to stop, and the repeated journals have to stop. This is getting out of control. Tyler: Thank you for your support, bud. Means a lot. I am definitely like Mudge said very hard on myself. Even if I slip up and cheat at all I feel like I just have to binge because I feel so bad about even slightly cheating on my diet. I can't eat just a scoop of ice-cream or a piece of cake. I have to go crazy and eat the entire thing. Basically because I feel like I am letting myself down in a way. I am going to try and like you said though, look at the big picture.
	Stats! 23 years old, 5'11.5", 206 lbs., ~8% bodyfat 380/455/655 bench/squat/deadlift (current) 405/495/675 bench/squat/deadlift (goals) The M.J.H. Chronicles

12-11-2004, 04:42 PM	#23
Mudge Pizza the Hut Super Moderator Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 23,027 Photos: 1	My cheats used to be a medium pizza OR 1/2 gallon of ice cream, once a week I remember we talked about Taco Bell before. Any avoidance of shopping markets or fast food is a neccessity when trying to eat clean for me. I will buy my food ahead of time and always at a bulk food store, never a regular grocer where they have junk left and right. Also, missing meals is a big problem for me, because thats when I get those cravings.
	Kinesiology Vote @ Top 25 Deads Comp Bench Motivation Bench form MaxCalc Charles Poliquin When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. Lao-Tzu I don't know any sources so don't ask - thanks

12-11-2004, 05:05 PM	#24
sara cRaZy!!! Elite Member Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Earth Posts: 6,304 Photos: 2	Mike, you have a training partner? or someone you can exchange meals with?
	www.metzgerbodies.net www.myspace.com/smbdybldr