"It'll never add up" (my journal)

Double D · 02-20-2007, 08:20 AM

Figured I would stop by and say hi.

SheLifts · 02-20-2007, 08:46 AM

hello double d.

Double D · 02-20-2007, 03:17 PM

No workouts today?

SheLifts · 02-20-2007, 03:18 PM

not til thursday.

monday, thursday, and saturday are gym days.

Double D · 02-20-2007, 03:29 PM

No cardio? I have erally gotten into some circuit bw cardio drills.

SheLifts · 02-20-2007, 03:31 PM

cardio after i lift weights. that way more energy is burned from fat rather than glycogen stores.

edit: i love to run at the track tho, when the weather warms up in a few weeks, i'll go 2-3 days a week there also

Double D · 02-20-2007, 03:33 PM

I normally do it after my weights and on off days. Something to keep me burning calories. My diet isnt the best. Though I know enough, I dont go by it all the time.

SheLifts · 02-20-2007, 03:37 PM

nor do i. matter of fact, i've been eating saf-t-pops lately....

Double D · 02-20-2007, 03:40 PM

It got pretty nice around here yesterday around 50 degrees or so. We cooked on the grill and I had me some burgers and dogs! Wow it was so good. I just got off a cut where I dropped 8-10lbs. In a bit over a month. So I am putting it on the back burner until the summer. I can eat whatever in the summer and drop easy. Cant wait.

SheLifts · 02-20-2007, 03:46 PM

i have no thyroid, so it's always a slow depressing process.... :sad:

Double D · 02-20-2007, 03:48 PM

Yeah no kidding. Endomorph here so its easy to say the same. Well probably 50/50 between a meso/endo.

SheLifts · 02-20-2007, 09:17 PM

I think I've hit the emotional point of things. I can see how people really turn away from their routine at this point. I can see an area going down and in relation to the ones that haven't, it makes them look bigger. In a sense it's an esteem booster, but it's a really humbling moment. It can make or break me. I only hope i have the will to become stronger. I've changed a lot about my way of eating, but i know there are many things that need to change.

I've had to quit using the scales. I know it's not really a good guage of progress, but like others, i found myself obsessed with it. I'd weight myself on a daily basis just to see what has happened. It brought discouragement, but I kept on.

I don't plan on quitting, but right now I'm honestly at a very emotional point in this. Very, very humbling. I feel so small, yet so strong. I'm more than the emotional baggage surrounding me. Why am I letting this bother me? I strive for perfection sometimes and I think I push myself too hard at times. But this is something I can achieve.

I preach about patience, but now I'm seeing that is a very hard concept.

Here's to another day... :cheers:

Double D · 02-20-2007, 09:20 PM

Damn one of the most serious posts I have ever read. I have been at this for 11 years and I have thought the same from time to time. The one thing that has kept me going is knowing if I quit things would be so so much worse than what they are now. You will battle through this and become a much stronger person for it. May not be a cake walk, but whenever adversity stares you in the face you stare a whole right back through it and dominate this situation!

katt · 02-21-2007, 09:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SheLifts

I think I've hit the emotional point of things. I can see how people really turn away from their routine at this point. I can see an area going down and in relation to the ones that haven't, it makes them look bigger. In a sense it's an esteem booster, but it's a really humbling moment. It can make or break me. I only hope i have the will to become stronger. I've changed a lot about my way of eating, but i know there are many things that need to change.

I've had to quit using the scales. I know it's not really a good guage of progress, but like others, i found myself obsessed with it. I'd weight myself on a daily basis just to see what has happened. It brought discouragement, but I kept on.

I don't plan on quitting, but right now I'm honestly at a very emotional point in this. Very, very humbling. I feel so small, yet so strong. I'm more than the emotional baggage surrounding me. Why am I letting this bother me? I strive for perfection sometimes and I think I push myself too hard at times. But this is something I can achieve.

I preach about patience, but now I'm seeing that is a very hard concept.

Here's to another day... :cheers:

I honestly go through the same thing... with this cut, it seems I got a little (I say little) farther before I hit that point.. I like the look now, I have farther to go, but it's really difficult,, especially when your partner is saying "god, you're body looks great" when you know deep inside that you can't maintain it forever... I push myself past the point also, especially on cardio.. when I'm really tired and you just don't think you can do another 45 minutes, and you do it anyway.. almost breaking down, but not.

Just know there are other people out there feeling the same way - you can get through it... this is just where the mental part comes into play alot. Give yourself alot of credit for getting this far

You deserve it!

SheLifts · 02-21-2007, 11:12 AM

i had intentions of going to run at the track today. but the attendant said it was too wet and still closed.

I woke up late this morning and didn't have time to pack some clothes i could run in, so i was going to walk for a little while. the school also has a walking track around a pretty big pond. so instead of doing nothing, i used the walking paths they have there. i don't know the distance or anything, but a little faster than casual walk for about 25 minutes.

it's better than nothing.....

katt · 02-21-2007, 11:15 AM

When you started this journal you mentioned you had 15 lbs to lose. Are you getting there?

SheLifts · 02-21-2007, 11:18 AM

no. not really... i'm losing inches tho.

i'm trying really hard.

i'd gone down about a pound, but i think it was just water weight because it came back.

and i think that's part of waht really depresses me.

katt · 02-21-2007, 11:19 AM

Yeah, I hear ya there - that's frustrating when that happens

SheLifts · 02-21-2007, 11:21 AM

i'm trying to revamp a few things, a little different here and there.

i'm going to cut carbs to about 70+/- except on workout days.

so that will give me 1-2 days of low carbs, then one regular.

katt · 02-21-2007, 11:34 AM

you should post your diet, so everyone can see if you're eating enough,,, 70 carbs is really low, it's just vege's mainly?

Also, if you want your ass to hurt like hell, throw in some walking lunges with db's .. they get me every time!

And.. I can only do a couple pull ups myself.. my husband spots my feet and forces them out that way. But the suggestion for the bands is good, if you work out by yourself.

I think you're pictures look great! You look amazing for having a child! you've got a great base to work with!

SheLifts · 02-21-2007, 11:45 AM

my diet... it's usually not too much different than this..

breakfast: ham and cheese sand (deli select ham, low fat cheese, whole wheat toast)

2: protein shake with water and a fiber one bar

3: chicken wrap: 4+/- ounces of ckn breast, low carb wrap, tomato

4: pure protein bar

5: chicken and a little carbs (usually -20)

6: (bedtime) 8-10 oz milk with my meds.

it's usually around 15-1600 cal's. 150 carbs, about 130 grams of protein.

katt · 02-21-2007, 12:00 PM

Are the bars for convience? I like the pure protein bars myself, but I don't eat them much because of the sugar content. Where do your workouts fit in to your schedule?

Maybe substitue the breakfast sandwhich for oats & egg whites, or you could even throw your oatmeal in with your protein shake and ditch the bar.

I would get rid of the wrap and substitute rice and put more vegetables in there, you can get frozen ones pretty inexpensive if you're on a tight budget. Is the milk before bed skim? Or can you take your med's w/water and then maybe have some nf cottage cheese in place of those calories?

I'm not a huge diet guru,, but if you post this in the diet section, Jodi and some of the others are awesome at refining it for you!

SheLifts · 02-21-2007, 12:15 PM

i dont eat rice, not big on veggies either. carrots, pot's, corn, are pretty much the only ones i eat other than basic salad veggies.

i have to drink the milk (fat free) because i don't have parathyroids to control my calcium level, so it gets low a lot if i don't drink milk. i don't eat cottage cheese or yogurt.

i get up at 5:40 and have to leave my house at 6:00 (which includes getting my son ready too), so i ahve to eat something quick and fast for braekfast. no time to cook.

the pure protien bars are sugar free, so it's only sugar alcohols which are essencially nothing.

my diet is pretty screwed because i am a very picky eater.

one thing i don't know if you saw, i don't have a thryroid either, so my metabolism is controlled by my medication. it never gets higher, it never gets lower...

SheLifts · 02-21-2007, 12:16 PM

i work out after work, so it's between meals 4 & 5.

katt · 02-21-2007, 12:20 PM

Gotcha - Well you should at least have more carbs in the meal after your workout. Have you ever tried sweet potatoes or yams???? That could be an alternative for your regular potatoes

I missed the thyroid issue - sorry..

SheLifts · 02-21-2007, 12:24 PM

it's a sucky life, i know.

i've actually omitted the potatoes in the last week or so and only ate chicken at supper time.

oh, after my workout i will stop by the store and get some apple juice. i left that out...

SheLifts · 02-21-2007, 03:18 PM

tonight is the night that i always dread.... home made pasta night...

whole wheat pasta, lean ground turkey and spaghetti sauce...
low fat meal, but extra high in carbohydrates.

i get to go home and cook supper, but not partake in any of it.

wahhh.. wahh...

work out day tomorrow. leg day!! yipee!

if it's not raining, i'm going to try to go to the track during lunch. maybe get 2 decent cardio sessions in.

Double D · 02-21-2007, 03:21 PM

Leg day, YUCK! Glad to see you really like it!

02-20-2007, 08:20 AM	#61
Double D Senior Member Elite Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: Illinois Posts: 9,850	BODYBUILDING SUPPLEMENTS High Quality Supplements For Bodybuilders and Athletes. www.ironmaglabs.com Figured I would stop by and say hi.
	www.crossfit.com

02-20-2007, 08:46 AM	#62
SheLifts Continuously Learning Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 438	hello double d.
	Current 1 Rep Maxes: Squat: 130 lbs - Bench Press: 95 lbs - Deadlift: 175 lbs

02-20-2007, 03:17 PM	#63
Double D Senior Member Elite Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: Illinois Posts: 9,850	No workouts today?
	www.crossfit.com

02-20-2007, 03:18 PM	#64
SheLifts Continuously Learning Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 438	not til thursday. monday, thursday, and saturday are gym days.
	Current 1 Rep Maxes: Squat: 130 lbs - Bench Press: 95 lbs - Deadlift: 175 lbs

02-20-2007, 03:29 PM	#65
Double D Senior Member Elite Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: Illinois Posts: 9,850	No cardio? I have erally gotten into some circuit bw cardio drills.
	www.crossfit.com

02-20-2007, 03:31 PM	#66
SheLifts Continuously Learning Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 438	cardio after i lift weights. that way more energy is burned from fat rather than glycogen stores. edit: i love to run at the track tho, when the weather warms up in a few weeks, i'll go 2-3 days a week there also
	Current 1 Rep Maxes: Squat: 130 lbs - Bench Press: 95 lbs - Deadlift: 175 lbs

02-20-2007, 03:33 PM	#67
Double D Senior Member Elite Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: Illinois Posts: 9,850	I normally do it after my weights and on off days. Something to keep me burning calories. My diet isnt the best. Though I know enough, I dont go by it all the time.
	www.crossfit.com

02-20-2007, 03:37 PM	#68
SheLifts Continuously Learning Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 438	nor do i. matter of fact, i've been eating saf-t-pops lately....
	Current 1 Rep Maxes: Squat: 130 lbs - Bench Press: 95 lbs - Deadlift: 175 lbs

02-20-2007, 03:40 PM	#69
Double D Senior Member Elite Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: Illinois Posts: 9,850	It got pretty nice around here yesterday around 50 degrees or so. We cooked on the grill and I had me some burgers and dogs! Wow it was so good. I just got off a cut where I dropped 8-10lbs. In a bit over a month. So I am putting it on the back burner until the summer. I can eat whatever in the summer and drop easy. Cant wait.
	www.crossfit.com

02-20-2007, 03:46 PM	#70
SheLifts Continuously Learning Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 438	i have no thyroid, so it's always a slow depressing process.... :sad:
	Current 1 Rep Maxes: Squat: 130 lbs - Bench Press: 95 lbs - Deadlift: 175 lbs

02-20-2007, 03:48 PM	#71
Double D Senior Member Elite Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: Illinois Posts: 9,850	Yeah no kidding. Endomorph here so its easy to say the same. Well probably 50/50 between a meso/endo.
	www.crossfit.com

02-20-2007, 09:17 PM	#72
SheLifts Continuously Learning Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 438	I think I've hit the emotional point of things. I can see how people really turn away from their routine at this point. I can see an area going down and in relation to the ones that haven't, it makes them look bigger. In a sense it's an esteem booster, but it's a really humbling moment. It can make or break me. I only hope i have the will to become stronger. I've changed a lot about my way of eating, but i know there are many things that need to change. I've had to quit using the scales. I know it's not really a good guage of progress, but like others, i found myself obsessed with it. I'd weight myself on a daily basis just to see what has happened. It brought discouragement, but I kept on. I don't plan on quitting, but right now I'm honestly at a very emotional point in this. Very, very humbling. I feel so small, yet so strong. I'm more than the emotional baggage surrounding me. Why am I letting this bother me? I strive for perfection sometimes and I think I push myself too hard at times. But this is something I can achieve. I preach about patience, but now I'm seeing that is a very hard concept. Here's to another day... :cheers:
	Current 1 Rep Maxes: Squat: 130 lbs - Bench Press: 95 lbs - Deadlift: 175 lbs

02-20-2007, 09:20 PM	#73
Double D Senior Member Elite Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: Illinois Posts: 9,850	Damn one of the most serious posts I have ever read. I have been at this for 11 years and I have thought the same from time to time. The one thing that has kept me going is knowing if I quit things would be so so much worse than what they are now. You will battle through this and become a much stronger person for it. May not be a cake walk, but whenever adversity stares you in the face you stare a whole right back through it and dominate this situation!
	www.crossfit.com

02-21-2007, 11:12 AM	#75
SheLifts Continuously Learning Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 438	i had intentions of going to run at the track today. but the attendant said it was too wet and still closed. I woke up late this morning and didn't have time to pack some clothes i could run in, so i was going to walk for a little while. the school also has a walking track around a pretty big pond. so instead of doing nothing, i used the walking paths they have there. i don't know the distance or anything, but a little faster than casual walk for about 25 minutes. it's better than nothing.....
	Current 1 Rep Maxes: Squat: 130 lbs - Bench Press: 95 lbs - Deadlift: 175 lbs

02-21-2007, 11:15 AM	#76
katt Registered User Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Pacific Northwest Posts: 4,025 Photos: 37	When you started this journal you mentioned you had 15 lbs to lose. Are you getting there?

02-21-2007, 11:18 AM	#77
SheLifts Continuously Learning Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 438	no. not really... i'm losing inches tho. i'm trying really hard. i'd gone down about a pound, but i think it was just water weight because it came back. and i think that's part of waht really depresses me.
	Current 1 Rep Maxes: Squat: 130 lbs - Bench Press: 95 lbs - Deadlift: 175 lbs

02-21-2007, 11:19 AM	#78
katt Registered User Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Pacific Northwest Posts: 4,025 Photos: 37	Yeah, I hear ya there - that's frustrating when that happens

02-21-2007, 11:21 AM	#79
SheLifts Continuously Learning Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 438	i'm trying to revamp a few things, a little different here and there. i'm going to cut carbs to about 70+/- except on workout days. so that will give me 1-2 days of low carbs, then one regular.
	Current 1 Rep Maxes: Squat: 130 lbs - Bench Press: 95 lbs - Deadlift: 175 lbs

02-21-2007, 11:34 AM	#80
katt Registered User Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Pacific Northwest Posts: 4,025 Photos: 37	you should post your diet, so everyone can see if you're eating enough,,, 70 carbs is really low, it's just vege's mainly? Also, if you want your ass to hurt like hell, throw in some walking lunges with db's .. they get me every time! And.. I can only do a couple pull ups myself.. my husband spots my feet and forces them out that way. But the suggestion for the bands is good, if you work out by yourself. I think you're pictures look great! You look amazing for having a child! you've got a great base to work with!

02-21-2007, 11:45 AM	#81
SheLifts Continuously Learning Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 438	my diet... it's usually not too much different than this.. breakfast: ham and cheese sand (deli select ham, low fat cheese, whole wheat toast) 2: protein shake with water and a fiber one bar 3: chicken wrap: 4+/- ounces of ckn breast, low carb wrap, tomato 4: pure protein bar 5: chicken and a little carbs (usually -20) 6: (bedtime) 8-10 oz milk with my meds. it's usually around 15-1600 cal's. 150 carbs, about 130 grams of protein.
	Current 1 Rep Maxes: Squat: 130 lbs - Bench Press: 95 lbs - Deadlift: 175 lbs

02-21-2007, 12:00 PM	#82
katt Registered User Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Pacific Northwest Posts: 4,025 Photos: 37	Are the bars for convience? I like the pure protein bars myself, but I don't eat them much because of the sugar content. Where do your workouts fit in to your schedule? Maybe substitue the breakfast sandwhich for oats & egg whites, or you could even throw your oatmeal in with your protein shake and ditch the bar. I would get rid of the wrap and substitute rice and put more vegetables in there, you can get frozen ones pretty inexpensive if you're on a tight budget. Is the milk before bed skim? Or can you take your med's w/water and then maybe have some nf cottage cheese in place of those calories? I'm not a huge diet guru,, but if you post this in the diet section, Jodi and some of the others are awesome at refining it for you!

02-21-2007, 12:15 PM	#83
SheLifts Continuously Learning Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 438	i dont eat rice, not big on veggies either. carrots, pot's, corn, are pretty much the only ones i eat other than basic salad veggies. i have to drink the milk (fat free) because i don't have parathyroids to control my calcium level, so it gets low a lot if i don't drink milk. i don't eat cottage cheese or yogurt. i get up at 5:40 and have to leave my house at 6:00 (which includes getting my son ready too), so i ahve to eat something quick and fast for braekfast. no time to cook. the pure protien bars are sugar free, so it's only sugar alcohols which are essencially nothing. my diet is pretty screwed because i am a very picky eater. one thing i don't know if you saw, i don't have a thryroid either, so my metabolism is controlled by my medication. it never gets higher, it never gets lower...
	Current 1 Rep Maxes: Squat: 130 lbs - Bench Press: 95 lbs - Deadlift: 175 lbs

02-21-2007, 12:16 PM	#84
SheLifts Continuously Learning Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 438	i work out after work, so it's between meals 4 & 5.
	Current 1 Rep Maxes: Squat: 130 lbs - Bench Press: 95 lbs - Deadlift: 175 lbs

02-21-2007, 12:20 PM	#85
katt Registered User Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Pacific Northwest Posts: 4,025 Photos: 37	Gotcha - Well you should at least have more carbs in the meal after your workout. Have you ever tried sweet potatoes or yams???? That could be an alternative for your regular potatoes I missed the thyroid issue - sorry..

02-21-2007, 12:24 PM	#86
SheLifts Continuously Learning Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 438	it's a sucky life, i know. i've actually omitted the potatoes in the last week or so and only ate chicken at supper time. oh, after my workout i will stop by the store and get some apple juice. i left that out...
	Current 1 Rep Maxes: Squat: 130 lbs - Bench Press: 95 lbs - Deadlift: 175 lbs

02-21-2007, 03:18 PM	#87
SheLifts Continuously Learning Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 438	tonight is the night that i always dread.... home made pasta night... whole wheat pasta, lean ground turkey and spaghetti sauce... low fat meal, but extra high in carbohydrates. i get to go home and cook supper, but not partake in any of it. wahhh.. wahh... work out day tomorrow. leg day!! yipee! if it's not raining, i'm going to try to go to the track during lunch. maybe get 2 decent cardio sessions in.
	Current 1 Rep Maxes: Squat: 130 lbs - Bench Press: 95 lbs - Deadlift: 175 lbs

02-21-2007, 03:21 PM	#88
Double D Senior Member Elite Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: Illinois Posts: 9,850	Leg day, YUCK! Glad to see you really like it!
	www.crossfit.com

02-21-2007, 03:25 PM	#89
SheLifts Continuously Learning Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 438