A Journal by Pappy.

**DontStop** · 04-04-2007, 03:00 PM

My Journal!!
Well, I do think it is time I finally started a journal! I find myself again in a rut and I need POSITIVE support.
I already know a good 95% of you will disagree with what I’m doing right now…but I treat it as a problem which needs solving.

Background
My name is Cayla and I’m 18 years old. I live in Edmonton Alberta and I am upgrading all my sciences so I can get into some sort of medical degree.
I started “training” when I was 15. My mom, at the time, was an alcoholic and she said some pretty mean things to me (like for example, she would monitor how much sugar I’d put in my tea) which eventually lead me to be so self conscious I developed an eating disorder. To this day I haven’t fully recovered, but I believe with the right diet and exercise I’ll get the confidence I’ve always desired.

Current Exercise plan
I gain muscle so incredibly easy it is sick. I’m a relatively “larger framed” girl (think Brigitte Nielsen, just not 6’1). But because of my muscle mass, I lose fat relatively easy, so “leaning out” doesn’t take me long…when I stick to it.
I used to do weights daily (legs twice a week) but because of my muscle gain, I’m going to cut it down to 3 or less days a week. Big muscle’s isn’t quite the look I am going for
I’ll usually superset two body parts (not just for the cardiovascular benefit, but to not get bored)
I do cardio 5-7 days a week. An hour to an hour and a half a day, which is broken into sections. Morning Cardio is done on an empty stomach, and I usually have the most energy first thing so it’s moderate/heavy intensity. Most of my cardio is done in the morning because I hate wasting my night doing cardio. I may do another heavy session at night like HIIT depending on how I am feeling.
I hate the elliptical but I’ll use it sometimes because I get shin splints like a bitch sometimes. I mostly stick to the treadmill and spinning classes.

Diet
This is the “ghey” part. I’ve found that low calorie works pretty well for me. I’m still able to maintain some lean muscle at around 1300 calories a day. On Monday, I started fooling around with my macros. Some days have carbs, some days don’t. I hate that but eh…just seeing what works.

Meal One
Is either:
- One lo carb/ high protein smoothie (aprox 280 cal, 6 grams of carb, 28 grams of protein)
- 200mL egg whites (100) with chopped up veggies
- Or last but not least, 1/3 c oatmeal (150), ½ c Soy (35), ½ an apple (40) totaling 225 cals. (carb days)
Meal two
- 200mL egg whites, with chopped veggies (100) + protein bar (210)
- Carb days are two pieces of fruit (120) with 1c carrots (50)

Meal three
3oz chicken (150), 2 tbsp light dressing (40), salad (20)

Meal four
3/4c fat free cottage cheese (135)

Meal five
Same as meal three, or another protein smoothie
If my cals are low I’ll usually have a couple tbsp of a fat (Udo’s Oil, PB)

Day 1:
First day of my “plan”. Getting ready to get lean for summer. I have a few photo-shoots in line and I want to look and feel my best! I just finished spring break and it was a good time for reflection. It was also a good time for me to neglect my diet and exercise plan and eat like shit. Hoorah. Relatively boring break. Got mega loaded on the weekend with a friend of mine and ended up puking all over my doorstep. Next day I could barely walk I was so ill.
But Day 1, has been peachy. Started the morning out with an hour of cardio. I was invited to a spin class (which I love) so I really got to a great start. Diet was good throughout the day. When I got back into Spruce Grove from the city, I went back to the gym and started with some HIIT for 20 minutes. I did somewhat of a leg day. Trying to get rid of some muscle however so I just stuck to resistance training

Diet
M1: protein smoothie (280)
M2: Yogurt and some carrots, and a zone bar (310)
M3: 3oz of chicken, salad, and dressing, (200)
M4: ¾ c of yogurt (135)
M5: Protein Smoothie (280)
M6: a couple tbsp PB (200)

Exercise
Morning cardio: 60 min
Evening cardio: 20 min
Resistance training (4 sets 25)
- Pelvic thrusts, weighted donkey kicks, piles, step-ups
( I felt like the biggest pansy bitch in the world I hate not lifting)

Day 2
Today was kind of a downer. I got up and went to the gym but cardio lagged on and I was grumpy. The day I did noting but study. I DID have plans on going to the gym for round #2, but ended up hanging out with a friend of mine and played XBOX for about 6 hours. Didn’t get home until really late.
Diet
M1: protein smoothie (280)
M2: 200mL egg whites, a zone bar (310)
M3: 3 oz chicken, salad, dressing (200)
(Yes, that is all I ate all day when I went to my friends we literally did NOTHING but play games)

Exercise
45 minutes morning cardio on empty stomach
ABS: Decline crunch, Weighted Twist, Side bends. All preformed until exhaustion

Day 3
Today is day 3
I slept in because I was tired from the night before and I feel like shit. I’m all bloated too which is always a real plus. Won’t be exercising today, have exams tomorrow.
M1: 1/2c oats, ½ apple, ½ c soy, 2 tbsp PB (475)
M2: 2 oranges (120)
M3: 3 oz chicken, salad, dressing (200)
M4: Will be ¾ c cottage cheese (135)
M5: same as m3 (200)

Anyway. That’s me. I know you won’t like what I just posted haha

**DontStop** · 04-04-2007, 03:07 PM

On a side note
Stats
Height: 5'7
Weight: Dono
Squat: 200lbs
Curl: 25
Press: 75lbs
Waist: 30

Thats all i know for now I'll add some more later

**Bakerboy** · 04-04-2007, 03:53 PM

Congrats on the new Journal Cayla

**Tom_B** · 04-04-2007, 04:04 PM

Hey Cayla ! Congratz on starting up a journal!

Now I know you already said that a good 95% of us will disagree with your current "plan" .. and you're right! Seriously that is way too little food to support the level of activity you're currently doing, and it's honestly just feeding the disorder and the mentality that fewer calories = better ..
I know it's a hard 'rut' to get out of, speaking from experience (in fact I'm still working through some of my own issues in regards to food..) but honestly though those are starvation numbers!
What do you plan on doing once you 'hit a wall' and weight loss halts? Your already doing so much cardio, and your calories are already so low .. in my opinion your leaving yourself no wheres to go once progress stalls ..

**Stewart14** · 04-04-2007, 04:26 PM

Originally Posted by DontStop

On a side note
Stats
Height: 5'7
Weight: Dono
Squat: 200lbs
Curl: 25
Press: 75lbs
Waist: 30

Thats all i know for now I'll add some more later

200lb squat eh? damn girl, that is some good stuff

**Mista** · 04-04-2007, 08:22 PM

Nice to see you starting a journal, Goodluck!

**NordicNacho** · 04-04-2007, 08:32 PM

lot of Cardio have fun up there in the arctic tundra! Guess its cool if you ice skate alot

"To this day I haven’t fully recovered, but I believe with the right diet and exercise I’ll get the confidence I’ve always desired."

Confidence and sense of self should come from within everything else is just temporary and will never bring true happiness. I found this out the hard way

**BigDyl** · 04-04-2007, 08:33 PM

I don't think this journal will last long, but good luck!

**King Silverback** · 04-04-2007, 08:49 PM

Best Wishes my Friend!!!

**fufu** · 04-04-2007, 09:12 PM

I know you don't want nitpicking, but be careful not to cut cals too low. If you cut them too low weight loss can halt and you gotta jack em back up and it is just an annoying process, so be careful.

and - good luck.

**Seanp156** · 04-05-2007, 12:13 AM

Originally Posted by Stewart20

200lb squat eh? damn girl, that is some good stuff

I agree, pretty good for a girl your age, especially one that's not competing in powerlifting.

**goob** · 04-05-2007, 04:12 AM

Good luck. Hoping for plenty of ...um,...progress pics....preferbly nude.

**DontStop** · 04-05-2007, 12:21 PM

Thanks all! Yah like I said, It's trhe shits right now My cals are too low but i dont know what to eat? It feels like if I even add 100 calories i pu on weight

April 5

Slept in Again. I have 3 exams today so I was up studying all night (followed by talking on the phone for like 3 hourse...le sigh)
Suppost to be going for coffee with a friend today in the core. I'm tempted to get a "shit" drink but i think I'll just stick too tea.

I am planning on going to the gym for a few hours tonight. Want to do some weights today...I'm feeling deprived
Chest and tris i think. Need to firm up the goodies!!

Havent ate much today

m1= 1/3 c oatmeal, 1/2c soy, apple, pb (300)
m2= zone bar (210)
m3= 3 oz chicken, salad, no dress (170)

I need suggestions for snacks. I dont have time really to cook up rice and I heard I shouldnt have fruit while I'm cutting. I'm tired of cottage cheese. it tastes like plastic.

Workout tonight will consist of supersetting
Incline press/ Tricep Extension
Incline Flye/ Reverse cable tricep extension
Flye with cables/ Dips or tricep pulldown with bar.

Burnout with pushups!
thinking hour and a half of cardio tonight...

I have no school for 5 days so will be hitting the gym hard.

**fufu** · 04-05-2007, 12:41 PM

oats + skim milk

microwave

add PB first, then whey, mix well

freeze in pan

then you got protein carb bars

**DontStop** · 04-05-2007, 01:53 PM

That sounds pretty good actually. My mom gave me some protein bar recipe to make. She's training for another marathon so she's really watching what she's eating n such.

somethings wrong with my ankles today i can barely walk.
Looks like it'll be the damn elliptical tonight

I think I'm going to be focussing alot more on my upper body. My lower body is really strong but my upper body is weak. I can barely do 10 pushups.

New Goal: be able to do 25 pushups by the end of the month.

**Bakerboy** · 04-05-2007, 02:40 PM

It sounds like you need a new program.
Something that gets you excited to train again, something based around your specific body type and goals.

DontStop besides being able to do 25 pushups what are some of your other goals?

You sound like a girl I used to date she had great genes too. Her body could build muscle so easy...

Your type of body is the type that most people

for at night. lol

meow. True story.

**DontStop** · 04-05-2007, 02:47 PM

Goals
Physically
- Lose some (not all, I'm proud of the strength in my legs) of my muscle mass in my glutes. It's like a rock and really round but It's unproportioned!
- tone up the ol' shoulders. I have very broad ones and I would love to show them off more
- Tone, Not gain in the upper body. My problem area is my triceps. They are strong you just can't see the muscle though. It looks flabbish!
- Get a money maker, not a gross "he man" money maker but a nice little aarow

Mentally
- Be comfortable with myself! I'm so shy and self concious about my body that I won't even go out sometimes...even though i know im not fat. It's all weird mental shit.
- Recover from my Bullimia
- Not feeling guilty if i endulge once in awhile (which essentially leads to my purging)

Socially
- I need more girlfriends, all my friends are boys!

Misc.
- Want to move out by summer. Might be moving to panarama outside of calgary with my best gf...or west end of edmonton.
- New job. Just quit my old one...got offered a job at hooters but i dont feel like subjecting myself to the bullshit that can happen there.

Educationally
- Get into the University of Guelph...or Saskatoon
- If that fails then NAIT or SAIT for cytotechnology program.

**DontStop** · 04-05-2007, 03:02 PM

Anyway, I won't be on again until Tuesday. I'll log everything however and post it all for you when I get the chance. please leave me some diet suggestions it's a really big rut for me.

**DontStop** · 04-10-2007, 09:55 AM

Well
Was a very long weekend for me
Friday was pretty good as far as workouts
I forget what I ate but I did back and shoulders ( most were 3 sets of 15, but in some exercises I would add some extra sets until failure)
- Barbell Rear Delt Row
- Lateral raises one arm at a time, and then a burn out using both arms
- Power cleans (could only do 40lbs because I had "obstacles" to get over when doing this one...)
- An exercise my friend showed me involving cables. You cross the two over and then do pull out like you're doing a flye...hard to explain but burns
- Close grip lat pull downs
- Wide grip pull downs
- Seated Rowe (machine)
- Seated Rowe (cable)
- One arm dumbbell Rowe
- Reverse Grip bent over Rowe
- Reverse butterfly

Then did 45 minutes of cardio on the elliptical. I hate using the elliptical but I do believe I have a stress fracture on my right foot...So I'm stuck using stupid no stress cardio exercises. Kept my HR at about 180 the whole time.

Later that night was good. I went to "Shooter" with the BF. I love movies like that, and marky mark was an added bonus.

Saturday I was really lazy and did close to nothing.
I did like biceps and Triceps. 2 Exercises haha I was so sore form the day before.
3 sets of 12
- Hammer Curls
-Cable triceps pull down
-Nose breaker
-Barbell Curl

After me and my friend went offroading. Later that night I got wrecked at the bar and made out with a girl (supposedly I hardly remember. I doubt I did because I'm as straight as an arrow...but who knows._

Yesterday was buts
I went for an hour walk, then did 45 minutes really intense cardio on the elliptical

Later that night I went to another gym and did weights
I did my "max squat" like 3 sets of 5 around 175lbs followed by a lot of hi rep squats (maybe only using 30lbs)
I supersetted those with a standing shoulder press
Went into piles, 3 sets 15, 30lbs supersetted with lat raise
Then Leg press, 3 sets 12, 160lbs (I can go heavier but I was doing higher reps)
Leg curl, 3 sets 15, 50lbs.

All that and then followed it with 15 mins on step mill.

Today so far I've done nothing...will go to gym tonight
So far I've had

Meal 1
1/3 c oats
1/2 c soy
1/2 c chopped strawberry's

Meal two
Peas and carrots
And a homemade protein "cookie"

**DontStop** · 04-11-2007, 08:55 AM

K, Monday's Workout is STILL killing me. I woke up this morning and My quads were screaming. I can barely walk up and down the stairs. I think I'll just do some moderrate cardio tonight.

**AndrewSS** · 04-11-2007, 01:32 PM

gee wiz, good squats....

IBseanmakesfunofmefornotbeingawholelotstrongerandi maguyandolder*

**Bakerboy** · 04-11-2007, 02:15 PM

Your workouts look very demanding kind of like Andrew. lol

What do you do for your warm up? Do you stretch at the end of your training sessions?

**kinkery** · 04-11-2007, 04:05 PM

Originally Posted by BigDyl

I don't think this journal will last long, but good luck!

agreed

**Bakerboy** · 04-11-2007, 04:17 PM

Give the girl a chance!

**soxmuscle** · 04-11-2007, 05:33 PM

Have you ever thought about coming to America for college?

**kinkery** · 04-11-2007, 05:35 PM

Originally Posted by soxmuscle

Have you ever thought about coming to America for college?

nice try

**soxmuscle** · 04-11-2007, 05:37 PM

Originally Posted by kinkery

nice try

It was actually an honest question, but if you want to play it like that, she's certainly welcome to visit the Big Ten's finest: Indiana University and sleep in my bed...

**kinkery** · 04-11-2007, 05:40 PM

Originally Posted by soxmuscle

It was actually an honest question, but if you want to play it like that, she's certainly welcome to visit the Big Ten's finest: Indiana University and sleep in my bed...

**DontStop** · 04-11-2007, 10:19 PM

Originally Posted by Bakerboy

Your workouts look very demanding kind of like Andrew. lol

What do you do for your warm up? Do you stretch at the end of your training sessions?

I usually will walk to the gym because it is in walking distance...i usually finish with cardio and do 10 minutes of cool down at the end of that, but stretching, not so much

**kinkery** · 04-11-2007, 10:21 PM

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