Diary of a madman.....

Pitboss · 07-10-2003, 10:29 PM

Okay so my day wasn't so great. I feel like shiat. All I want to do is get totally inibreated... hmmm drunk!!

The worst thing about all of this is that I feel so lonely right now. I almost want to call someone to see if they want company but then guilt sets in for wanting to use that person for my own needs. Gee now I know why call girls exsist. Can't afford it or I would... I think. Just want someone to cuddle up with I guess.. yeah wierd, that's me.

J'Bo · 07-11-2003, 05:18 AM

pb....i am proud of you.
now do you want to know why she said the things she said?
remember that all negative acts are a result of someone feeling pain...she is just hurting because you let her go (which is the best decision).

she wanted to make you feel bad for letting her go...thus she put you down to make herself feel better...people tend to do that sometimes...really it was her pain and insecurity showing through...and she was mad that you had to guts to end it...of course now that that aprroach did not work for her and you are still not together....WATCH OUT....she will reevaluate the situation and try another approach to get into your life somehow...TRUST me it willl happen.....either she will pretend that she has some unfinished business to deal with or she will pretend to be able to handle the situation and be "friends...just friends".....let me tell you that is not her intentions and that she is simply acting like that in hopes that you will change your monda again.....know that is what she is doing.....playing the game of cat and mouse until she gets what she wants....

believe me on this...cause i just finished playing this game and its not fun.....best thing to do is to cut her off completely....for your sake baby....i am not saying that its going to be easy...but it will be the best thing to do

you babe.

Pitboss · 07-11-2003, 09:46 AM

yeah I know. I'm back where I was a couple of weeks ago. Phone is off. So the only way she will be able to communicate is come see me.... which had a bad effect on me. You women are such cruel creatures!!!! Damn I wish I was gay............ oh I did not say that LOL

naturaltan · 07-11-2003, 09:51 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Pitboss
Damn I wish I was gay............ oh I did not say that LOL

... you're in need of a Vegas vacation!

Pitboss · 07-11-2003, 09:53 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by naturaltan

... you're in need of a Vegas vacation!

Don't you mean San Francisco???

Pitboss · 07-11-2003, 10:10 AM

Where is everyone today??? It's Friday but not a holiday. My only day off and I want to spend it with my IM friends... okay let me clarify on that.. I want to spend it with the IM Hotties!!

I guess I'm just going to have to go to the gym, tan a little, and maybe go for a ride. It's overcast today... that nasty marine layer that won't go away until late afternoon by the beaches. I might make a phone call or two and see if I can get a "riding" partner for the day...

Hey J'bo are you going to let me take you for a ride? Or are we gonna be stuck driving around in my Jetta with the baby seat in the back? Hey you pervs.. I meant a ride on my bike. You people are bad, bad people. So uh ya wanna take me.. I me take a ride on me... I mean with me. Hmmm?

J'Bo · 07-11-2003, 10:26 AM

geuss what guys?

i am going to Vegas...cause my raise is alot more than i thought

naturaltan · 07-11-2003, 10:53 AM

... now just bring it JBo ...

... whips, chains and everything else you can fit into your suitcase.

Pitboss · 07-11-2003, 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by naturaltan

... now just bring it JBo ...

... whips, chains and everything else you can fit into your suitcase.

Pitboss · 07-11-2003, 11:14 AM

Some intersting thoughts that have been bugging me...

I used to be considered a catch.. why? Great in bed

no not that. I had my own house, new car, great paying job, and a father. Not that i wanted to be caught but I had all that going for me if needed.

Now? well I make average money, don't own a house, still in debt up to "here" Not that any of that really matters right now because regardless of what I have or have had I content with what I have... hmm or who I am I guess. But then again I have to wonder sometimes who I am. I mean what 36 year old goes out and buys a new bike, gets his nipples and tongue peirced?? Yea I know one that is searching for his youth. I don't want to give it up, I mean who does right?

But I came to a realization that what I had versus what I have makes a difference in what you can get. I mean get as in the quality of companionship. If I was looking for that special someone in my life right now I have a pretty good idea of what I wouldn't get. She wouldn't be high maintenance. She wouldn't have her own house. I'm pretty sure she would be about equal to what I make and have.

I'm starting to think I've put myself in the position to attract biker babes, strippers and lifetime waitresses.....

Funny men are always questioning how important is it to have money when it comes to women. I think the answer is so much more complex than a simple yes or no. It's more of does money matter when it comes to the quality of ones choosing his significant other? That answer has to be yes. I think.

I haven't a foggiest idea of what I'm trying to say... I think I'm saying I need to get back up the social ladder a little. Get a better pick of the litter when the time comes that i am ready to settle back down.

Hmmm already got two jobs, sort of. Well I guess I could always turn to porn for a little extra cash...... hey just trying to expand my choice here people... strippers, biker babes, waitresses, and porn stars

Burner02 · 07-11-2003, 11:18 AM

hmm...a biker porn star......
as you said, if it makes you happy, then go for it.

Pitboss · 07-11-2003, 11:23 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Burner02
hmm...a biker porn star......
as you said, if it makes you happy, then go for it.

What really sucks about that is that it is so possible!!

There is this guy named Joey, I think his "porn" name is Joey Ray. Just your average white boy. Nothing really to look at.. I mean if I was a woman of course. But he comes into the bar a few times a week and I know he could get me in.

Fuqer showed up yesterday in a brand new Cadillac Escalade. Fully loaded and has 24 inch rims!!!! He paid cash!! I mean how tempting is that I ask??

For a woman to do it people seem to be a bit down on that. But for a guy to do it??? I don't know what is the concensus???

Burner02 · 07-11-2003, 11:28 AM

well, buddy-
IO just got an '01 supercrew f-150..(by the way...SUCKS gas like Monica Lewinski..)
I went in to the dealership to get something taken care of, my sales man told me of a 26 year old kid who just picked up another car from him. He saud that this kid owns a Ferrarri, Prorsche, Mercedes, nice house...he was a realtor in California.
10 years your junior, my friend.
Something to think about

Pitboss · 07-11-2003, 11:32 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Burner02
well, buddy-
IO just got an '01 supercrew f-150..(by the way...SUCKS gas like Monica Lewinski..)
I went in to the dealership to get something taken care of, my sales man told me of a 26 year old kid who just picked up another car from him. He saud that this kid owns a Ferrarri, Prorsche, Mercedes, nice house...he was a realtor in California.
10 years your junior, my friend.
Something to think about

Everyone and their mother has a realtor license in this state!! It's a booming market but not that good of a market! That kind was doing alot more than selling houses!!

naturaltan · 07-11-2003, 11:32 AM

I'm not one to answer that question because as long as one isn't hurting themselves or anyone else, who the hell cares. If someone makes an informed decision to becoming a pornstar, so be it. Unlike a drug dealer who is hurting others and making serious cash, a pornstar creates porn, enjoys themselves and gives others enjoyment and makes serious cash.

The social ladder ... hhhmmm ... interesting. Not sure I want to be on that social ladder where how much I make or what I drive or where I live determines who my spouse would be. For me, it's more important to be happy (yep, pretty idealist answer) but it's true. I make ok money where I am, the job certainly isn't taxing by any means, but I'm not happy. I'd actually take a pay cut to do something more enjoyable for sure.

Pitboss · 07-11-2003, 11:38 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by naturaltan
The social ladder ... hhhmmm ... interesting. Not sure I want to be on that social ladder where how much I make or what I drive or where I live determines who my spouse would be. For me, it's more important to be happy (yep, pretty idealist answer) but it's true. I make ok money where I am, the job certainly isn't taxing by any means, but I'm not happy. I'd actually take a pay cut to do something more enjoyable for sure.

Ah but there is a difference in the social ladder when you are twenty something and dating. Most of the time people are equal in the sense they have not made it in the world of business yet, or they are still in school. What seperates them down the road is usually one seeking "more", while the other is content.

Being older most of us should have aleady reach or be in the middle of our business goals. Striving to be better and make more. Most of us don't want to be pushing brooms for the next 40 years till we retire. Most spouses I think don't want that either. I think.

naturaltan · 07-11-2003, 11:48 AM

I will agree that in our 20's we all pretty much equal and as we get older, some do excel in the financial department. And yes most do try and make more and more and more. And in the process, they forget how to have fun, enjoy life. Sure they have fancy cars and big houses in which they throw big gatherings, but I think that all comes at a cost. I believe their work days to be stressed, hectic and long - leaving little time to enjoy everyday wonders, kids, family and friends. I have a friend who is a brilliant man. He decided to become a doctor and now heads the local medical community on this and that board. We have tried many times to get together but it almost seems impossible because he's either on-call or working. When we do get together, you can see how unhappy his wife is. She enjoys the nice house and all that comes with it, but wishes her husband was home more. Not for me thanks.

Pitboss · 07-11-2003, 11:53 AM

It's not so much about the money and having all the stuff. I guess it comes down having drive and ambition.

Burner02 · 07-11-2003, 12:07 PM

Hey NT_
I JUST started reading a book called: Self Matters...it starts off the same way you just described!
Seems to be a good read.

naturaltan · 07-11-2003, 12:15 PM

drive and ambition for what though ... more money, better status?

Burner ... let me know how it goes.

I'm not a big book reader.

Pitboss · 07-11-2003, 12:21 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by naturaltan
drive and ambition for what though ... more money, better status?

Burner ... let me know how it goes.

I'm not a big book reader.

I guess you have to put yourself into the single mindframe.. especially from a woman's point of veiw. Not many women would stick around with a guy that has neither of those qualities. Majority ofus want more out of life than just the day to day, hum drum life we have. To acheive those you must have some ambitions....

Burner02 · 07-11-2003, 12:23 PM

yeah, but you do, don't ya? I mean, you do have multiple jobs...as do I..

J'Bo · 07-11-2003, 12:24 PM

i am not going to comment here cause you may all hate me when i tell you my point of view....in short money does matter.

Pitboss · 07-11-2003, 12:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Burner02
yeah, but you do, don't ya? I mean, you do have multiple jobs...as do I..

Yes I do. I do it because I need to. The money is always nice to have but I also need something to keep me busy or I pretty much self destruct... LOL

Pitboss · 07-11-2003, 12:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by J'Bo
i am not going to comment here cause you may all hate me when i tell you my point of view....in short money does matter.

I think it matters. Especially to begin a relationship. Who wants to be stuck at home every night because you cant afford to go out? Who wants to be stuck driving around on a date in a 15 year old car that has broken air conditioning and the drivers window won't roll down?

There is a point where it does matter. Ther is also a point where it is excessive.

J'Bo · 07-11-2003, 12:35 PM

i agree pb.

have you ever heard someone that has money say that money doesnt matter? the only people that think that way don't have $

in todays society whether we like it or not....the amount of money or equity one has is a reflection of how accomplished in certain areas they are....its just life

Burner02 · 07-11-2003, 12:35 PM

I agree w/ j-
money does matter..to a point.
I want to be able to afford to do nice things for us. Take her places, go to a restaraunt and not have to worry about it.
Take off for the weekend.
Take her shopping for no reason, etc.
I have heard that money is a key reason for fights among married couples.
I know what you mean about the having to do things...I am wondering how I will be as I am able to quit 2 of the three jobs I am working and actually have free time....

07-10-2003, 10:29 PM	#631
Pitboss User title goes here Elite Member Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: In my own world Posts: 3,114 Photos: 6	BODYBUILDING SUPPLEMENTS High Quality Supplements For Bodybuilders and Athletes. www.ironmaglabs.com Okay so my day wasn't so great. I feel like shiat. All I want to do is get totally inibreated... hmmm drunk!! The worst thing about all of this is that I feel so lonely right now. I almost want to call someone to see if they want company but then guilt sets in for wanting to use that person for my own needs. Gee now I know why call girls exsist. Can't afford it or I would... I think. Just want someone to cuddle up with I guess.. yeah wierd, that's me.
	167 170 175 180 185 190 195 196 197 198 199 200 \|- -\|----\|----\|----\|----\|----\|---\|---\|---\|---\|---\| **** ^^^^^^^^^^^^^Progress^^^^^^^^^^^^^ 2/22- ?? my gym membership expired!! 2/11- 170lbs 2/4 - 167lbs

07-11-2003, 05:18 AM	#632
J'Bo Cuddle Slut Join Date: May 2002 Location: Back in Canada Posts: 9,753 Photos: 6	pb....i am proud of you. now do you want to know why she said the things she said? remember that all negative acts are a result of someone feeling pain...she is just hurting because you let her go (which is the best decision). she wanted to make you feel bad for letting her go...thus she put you down to make herself feel better...people tend to do that sometimes...really it was her pain and insecurity showing through...and she was mad that you had to guts to end it...of course now that that aprroach did not work for her and you are still not together....WATCH OUT....she will reevaluate the situation and try another approach to get into your life somehow...TRUST me it willl happen.....either she will pretend that she has some unfinished business to deal with or she will pretend to be able to handle the situation and be "friends...just friends".....let me tell you that is not her intentions and that she is simply acting like that in hopes that you will change your monda again.....know that is what she is doing.....playing the game of cat and mouse until she gets what she wants.... believe me on this...cause i just finished playing this game and its not fun.....best thing to do is to cut her off completely....for your sake baby....i am not saying that its going to be easy...but it will be the best thing to do you babe.
	....and thats my $.02

07-11-2003, 09:46 AM	#633
Pitboss User title goes here Elite Member Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: In my own world Posts: 3,114 Photos: 6	yeah I know. I'm back where I was a couple of weeks ago. Phone is off. So the only way she will be able to communicate is come see me.... which had a bad effect on me. You women are such cruel creatures!!!! Damn I wish I was gay............ oh I did not say that LOL
	167 170 175 180 185 190 195 196 197 198 199 200 \|- -\|----\|----\|----\|----\|----\|---\|---\|---\|---\|---\| **** ^^^^^^^^^^^^^Progress^^^^^^^^^^^^^ 2/22- ?? my gym membership expired!! 2/11- 170lbs 2/4 - 167lbs

07-11-2003, 10:10 AM	#636
Pitboss User title goes here Elite Member Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: In my own world Posts: 3,114 Photos: 6	Where is everyone today??? It's Friday but not a holiday. My only day off and I want to spend it with my IM friends... okay let me clarify on that.. I want to spend it with the IM Hotties!! I guess I'm just going to have to go to the gym, tan a little, and maybe go for a ride. It's overcast today... that nasty marine layer that won't go away until late afternoon by the beaches. I might make a phone call or two and see if I can get a "riding" partner for the day... Hey J'bo are you going to let me take you for a ride? Or are we gonna be stuck driving around in my Jetta with the baby seat in the back? Hey you pervs.. I meant a ride on my bike. You people are bad, bad people. So uh ya wanna take me.. I me take a ride on me... I mean with me. Hmmm?
	167 170 175 180 185 190 195 196 197 198 199 200 \|- -\|----\|----\|----\|----\|----\|---\|---\|---\|---\|---\| **** ^^^^^^^^^^^^^Progress^^^^^^^^^^^^^ 2/22- ?? my gym membership expired!! 2/11- 170lbs 2/4 - 167lbs

07-11-2003, 10:26 AM	#637
J'Bo Cuddle Slut Join Date: May 2002 Location: Back in Canada Posts: 9,753 Photos: 6	geuss what guys? i am going to Vegas...cause my raise is alot more than i thought
	....and thats my $.02

07-11-2003, 10:53 AM	#638
naturaltan Going nowhere fast! Elite Member Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 9,918 Photos: 7	... now just bring it JBo ... ... whips, chains and everything else you can fit into your suitcase.
	just kick'in it in the ole Charger

07-11-2003, 11:14 AM	#640
Pitboss User title goes here Elite Member Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: In my own world Posts: 3,114 Photos: 6	Some intersting thoughts that have been bugging me... I used to be considered a catch.. why? Great in bed no not that. I had my own house, new car, great paying job, and a father. Not that i wanted to be caught but I had all that going for me if needed. Now? well I make average money, don't own a house, still in debt up to "here" Not that any of that really matters right now because regardless of what I have or have had I content with what I have... hmm or who I am I guess. But then again I have to wonder sometimes who I am. I mean what 36 year old goes out and buys a new bike, gets his nipples and tongue peirced?? Yea I know one that is searching for his youth. I don't want to give it up, I mean who does right? But I came to a realization that what I had versus what I have makes a difference in what you can get. I mean get as in the quality of companionship. If I was looking for that special someone in my life right now I have a pretty good idea of what I wouldn't get. She wouldn't be high maintenance. She wouldn't have her own house. I'm pretty sure she would be about equal to what I make and have. I'm starting to think I've put myself in the position to attract biker babes, strippers and lifetime waitresses..... Funny men are always questioning how important is it to have money when it comes to women. I think the answer is so much more complex than a simple yes or no. It's more of does money matter when it comes to the quality of ones choosing his significant other? That answer has to be yes. I think. I haven't a foggiest idea of what I'm trying to say... I think I'm saying I need to get back up the social ladder a little. Get a better pick of the litter when the time comes that i am ready to settle back down. Hmmm already got two jobs, sort of. Well I guess I could always turn to porn for a little extra cash...... hey just trying to expand my choice here people... strippers, biker babes, waitresses, and porn stars
	167 170 175 180 185 190 195 196 197 198 199 200 \|- -\|----\|----\|----\|----\|----\|---\|---\|---\|---\|---\| **** ^^^^^^^^^^^^^Progress^^^^^^^^^^^^^ 2/22- ?? my gym membership expired!! 2/11- 170lbs 2/4 - 167lbs

07-11-2003, 11:18 AM	#641
Burner02 Super Hero in Training Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Tip of the spear! Posts: 28,300	hmm...a biker porn star...... as you said, if it makes you happy, then go for it.
	Success leaves clues. People who produce outstanding results do specific things to create those results Nobody cares what you did yesterday or what you are going to do tomorrow. What is important is what you are doing NOW to solve our problem THERE IS NO TOMORROW! - Appollo Creed

07-11-2003, 11:28 AM	#643
Burner02 Super Hero in Training Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Tip of the spear! Posts: 28,300	well, buddy- IO just got an '01 supercrew f-150..(by the way...SUCKS gas like Monica Lewinski..) I went in to the dealership to get something taken care of, my sales man told me of a 26 year old kid who just picked up another car from him. He saud that this kid owns a Ferrarri, Prorsche, Mercedes, nice house...he was a realtor in California. 10 years your junior, my friend. Something to think about
	Success leaves clues. People who produce outstanding results do specific things to create those results Nobody cares what you did yesterday or what you are going to do tomorrow. What is important is what you are doing NOW to solve our problem THERE IS NO TOMORROW! - Appollo Creed

07-11-2003, 11:32 AM	#645
naturaltan Going nowhere fast! Elite Member Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 9,918 Photos: 7	I'm not one to answer that question because as long as one isn't hurting themselves or anyone else, who the hell cares. If someone makes an informed decision to becoming a pornstar, so be it. Unlike a drug dealer who is hurting others and making serious cash, a pornstar creates porn, enjoys themselves and gives others enjoyment and makes serious cash. The social ladder ... hhhmmm ... interesting. Not sure I want to be on that social ladder where how much I make or what I drive or where I live determines who my spouse would be. For me, it's more important to be happy (yep, pretty idealist answer) but it's true. I make ok money where I am, the job certainly isn't taxing by any means, but I'm not happy. I'd actually take a pay cut to do something more enjoyable for sure.
	just kick'in it in the ole Charger

07-11-2003, 11:48 AM	#647
naturaltan Going nowhere fast! Elite Member Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 9,918 Photos: 7	I will agree that in our 20's we all pretty much equal and as we get older, some do excel in the financial department. And yes most do try and make more and more and more. And in the process, they forget how to have fun, enjoy life. Sure they have fancy cars and big houses in which they throw big gatherings, but I think that all comes at a cost. I believe their work days to be stressed, hectic and long - leaving little time to enjoy everyday wonders, kids, family and friends. I have a friend who is a brilliant man. He decided to become a doctor and now heads the local medical community on this and that board. We have tried many times to get together but it almost seems impossible because he's either on-call or working. When we do get together, you can see how unhappy his wife is. She enjoys the nice house and all that comes with it, but wishes her husband was home more. Not for me thanks.
	just kick'in it in the ole Charger

07-11-2003, 11:53 AM	#648
Pitboss User title goes here Elite Member Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: In my own world Posts: 3,114 Photos: 6	It's not so much about the money and having all the stuff. I guess it comes down having drive and ambition.
	167 170 175 180 185 190 195 196 197 198 199 200 \|- -\|----\|----\|----\|----\|----\|---\|---\|---\|---\|---\| **** ^^^^^^^^^^^^^Progress^^^^^^^^^^^^^ 2/22- ?? my gym membership expired!! 2/11- 170lbs 2/4 - 167lbs

07-11-2003, 12:07 PM	#649
Burner02 Super Hero in Training Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Tip of the spear! Posts: 28,300	Hey NT_ I JUST started reading a book called: Self Matters...it starts off the same way you just described! Seems to be a good read.
	Success leaves clues. People who produce outstanding results do specific things to create those results Nobody cares what you did yesterday or what you are going to do tomorrow. What is important is what you are doing NOW to solve our problem THERE IS NO TOMORROW! - Appollo Creed

07-11-2003, 12:15 PM	#650
naturaltan Going nowhere fast! Elite Member Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 9,918 Photos: 7	drive and ambition for what though ... more money, better status? Burner ... let me know how it goes. I'm not a big book reader.
	just kick'in it in the ole Charger

07-11-2003, 12:23 PM	#652
Burner02 Super Hero in Training Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Tip of the spear! Posts: 28,300	yeah, but you do, don't ya? I mean, you do have multiple jobs...as do I..
	Success leaves clues. People who produce outstanding results do specific things to create those results Nobody cares what you did yesterday or what you are going to do tomorrow. What is important is what you are doing NOW to solve our problem THERE IS NO TOMORROW! - Appollo Creed

07-11-2003, 12:24 PM	#653
J'Bo Cuddle Slut Join Date: May 2002 Location: Back in Canada Posts: 9,753 Photos: 6	i am not going to comment here cause you may all hate me when i tell you my point of view....in short money does matter.
	....and thats my $.02

07-11-2003, 12:35 PM	#656
J'Bo Cuddle Slut Join Date: May 2002 Location: Back in Canada Posts: 9,753 Photos: 6	i agree pb. have you ever heard someone that has money say that money doesnt matter? the only people that think that way don't have $ in todays society whether we like it or not....the amount of money or equity one has is a reflection of how accomplished in certain areas they are....its just life
	....and thats my $.02

07-11-2003, 12:35 PM	#657
Burner02 Super Hero in Training Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Tip of the spear! Posts: 28,300	I agree w/ j- money does matter..to a point. I want to be able to afford to do nice things for us. Take her places, go to a restaraunt and not have to worry about it. Take off for the weekend. Take her shopping for no reason, etc. I have heard that money is a key reason for fights among married couples. I know what you mean about the having to do things...I am wondering how I will be as I am able to quit 2 of the three jobs I am working and actually have free time....
	Success leaves clues. People who produce outstanding results do specific things to create those results Nobody cares what you did yesterday or what you are going to do tomorrow. What is important is what you are doing NOW to solve our pro