Friday Morning Laugh- When Girls Dont Put Out!

Uba · 06-12-2009, 12:23 PM

This is from another Forum i'm on it was submitted from a guy called 5.slow the forum is called modularfords.com

I just didint wana steal his credit, enjoy.

When girls don't put out!!

This was written by a guy ... it's pretty damn smart.

Girls -- Please have a sense of humor!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... She was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all
Dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

fufu · 06-12-2009, 12:36 PM

nkira · 06-12-2009, 12:58 PM

IronAddict · 06-12-2009, 01:05 PM

Yeah, that'll teach her.

Might wanna start looking for a new girlfriend, if you ever wanna get laid again.

**I Are Baboon** · 06-12-2009, 01:18 PM

That's been around the internet since Al Gore invented it.

T_man · 06-12-2009, 02:14 PM

haha! thats such a good one

stupid B*tch

Little Wing · 06-12-2009, 02:18 PM

this is soooo old.

**dg806** · 06-12-2009, 03:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by I Are Baboon

That's been around the internet since Al Gore invented it.

LMAO!

**Built** · 06-12-2009, 04:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by I Are Baboon

That's been around the internet since Al Gore invented it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by dg806

LMAO!

That was great!

T_man · 06-12-2009, 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Built

That was great!

I dont get it

min0 lee · 06-12-2009, 05:32 PM

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

maniclion · 06-12-2009, 06:42 PM

06-12-2009, 12:23 PM	#1
Uba Numero #1 Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Southern California Posts: 67	Friday Morning Laugh- When Girls Dont Put Out! This is from another Forum i'm on it was submitted from a guy called 5.slow the forum is called modularfords.com I just didint wana steal his credit, enjoy. When girls don't put out!! This was written by a guy ... it's pretty damn smart. Girls -- Please have a sense of humor! I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.' I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!' So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... 'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.' She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?' Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.' We went on to the jewelery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... She was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all Dear, let's go to the cashier.' I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.' Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?' I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.' And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?' Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

06-12-2009, 12:36 PM	#2
fufu fiendish thingy Elite Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 16,711 Photos: 8	lol fufu's 1337 Journal Your diet will set you free.

06-12-2009, 01:05 PM	#4
IronAddict YOU ME WE Elite Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: In my skin Posts: 2,801	Yeah, that'll teach her. Might wanna start looking for a new girlfriend, if you ever wanna get laid again. The journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.

06-12-2009, 02:14 PM	#6
T_man Registered User Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Leeds, England Posts: 1,228 Photos: 1	haha! thats such a good one stupid B*tch Cheat on your girlfriend, not on your meal.

06-12-2009, 02:18 PM	#7
Little Wing Mommmmmm, turn it down!!! Elite Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: United States Posts: 23,697 Photos: 191	this is soooo old. "MUSCLE IS TRULY GUARANTEED IF YOU WILL HONESTLY work out to BE YOUR VERY BEST - GO FOR IT!!! BECAUSE YOU CAN!!!!!! Take Care, John H."

06-12-2009, 01:18 PM	#5
I Are Baboon pedal pedal pedal Moderator Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Beerville Posts: 11,922 Photos: 4	That's been around the internet since Al Gore invented it.

06-12-2009, 05:32 PM	#11
min0 lee Senior Member Elite Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: The Bronx, NYC Posts: 38,735 Photos: 542	Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?" How To Do The Perfect Bench Press Rep Bodybuilding and Lifting Weights, the Difference ironmagazine-frapper

06-12-2009, 06:42 PM	#12
maniclion Cartographer of the Mind Elite Member Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Mens Incognita Posts: 20,392 Photos: 10	fol "We are like tenant farmers chopping down the fence around our house for fuel when we should be using Natures inexhaustible sources of energy — sun, wind and tide. ... I'd put my money on the sun and solar energy. What a source of power! I hope we don't have to wait until oil and coal run out before we tackle that." Thomas Edison: In conversation with Henry Ford and Harvey Firestone

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