Megan Fox isn't real

lola1182 · 06-18-2009, 03:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by juggernaut

I'd do it in the pancake and syrup isle. Kind of closed off, not too many people in that area...
Or, perhaps the bread isle so I can hit her on the head with a loaf of bread.

wtf? with a loaf of bread.. nice.

Crono1000 · 06-18-2009, 04:30 PM

i would let her tie me to a bed in her basement and drug me into a comma for 2 months straight. On a daily basis she would collect my eye discharge into a gallon of unrefridgerated milk and also strip layers of my skin until she had enough to twine a whip made of my own flesh. When I finally awake 2 months later she forces me to ingest the gallon of eyemilk by whipping me with the skinwhip. Each time I vomit she picks off a healing scab from the previous skinning with a rusty butterknife with 2 months worth of my own nail clippings glued to it. When I finally finish the milk we have sex in the resulting puddle of blood, vomit, eye discharge, skin and nail clippings, and spoiled milk. And it would be worth it.

I disappear from the boards for like 3 months and I come back to post this. My god I have problems...

maniclion · 06-18-2009, 06:56 PM

I guess you'd like to hold her hostage for a few month's, go to walmart and buy the whole rack of white panties, feed her beef and bean burritos from 7-11 everyday. You'd only give her 4 squares of toilet paper a day then make her change her underwear every 2 days. You would then meticulously carve old the brownish stains from the used panties and boil them in a small beaker until all residue dissolved into the solution, then you would put it in the sun until the liquid evaporated and scrape the residue into a pie pan with the other days scrapings. You'd also be collecting her menstruation each time and freezing it for later use. Once you felt you had enough you thaw out the spoiled tomato like jello stuff and mix it with the residual feces until it form a paste, then you take her urine and get it to an ink like consistency. Then you take a tattoo gun with needles you made out of her unshaven armpit hair and melted toenail clippings and tattoo her facial features over your face, then her breasts over your chest and her vulva over your mons pubis and the base of you penis so that when you tuck it for a mangina it looks like hers. Then you give her an amnesia inducing drug, she forgets the whole past few month's, goes on with her life except for when you show up as a streaker at events she attends.....

Crono1000 · 06-18-2009, 07:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maniclion

I guess you'd like to hold her hostage for a few month's, go to walmart and buy the whole rack of white panties, feed her beef and bean burritos from 7-11 everyday. You'd only give her 4 squares of toilet paper a day then make her change her underwear every 2 days. You would then meticulously carve old the brownish stains from the used panties and boil them in a small beaker until all residue dissolved into the solution, then you would put it in the sun until the liquid evaporated and scrape the residue into a pie pan with the other days scrapings. You'd also be collecting her menstruation each time and freezing it for later use. Once you felt you had enough you thaw out the spoiled tomato like jello stuff and mix it with the residual feces until it form a paste, then you take her urine and get it to an ink like consistency. Then you take a tattoo gun with needles you made out of her unshaven armpit hair and melted toenail clippings and tattoo her facial features over your face, then her breasts over your chest and her vulva over your mons pubis and the base of you penis so that when you tuck it for a mangina it looks like hers. Then you give her an amnesia inducing drug, she forgets the whole past few month's, goes on with her life except for when you show up as a streaker at events she attends.....

dude... that's just sick

T_man · 06-18-2009, 08:26 PM

maniclion · 06-18-2009, 08:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crono1000

dude... that's just sick

There always the ))<>(( forever thing.....

maniclion · 06-18-2009, 08:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crono1000

dude... that's just sick

Never get into a pissing match with a guy who might have jerked off earier that morning, he may have crusty old semen on the tip that could cause his stream to spray all over the place like a thumb over the end of a garden hose......

Crono1000 · 06-19-2009, 11:40 AM

I would take her out to dinner and pay. I would buy her flowers and let her choose a movie for us to watch, probably a chick flick but I'm ok with that. Then I would drive her home, compliment her, and then hug her goodbye, and maybe in a date or two when she's ready she might let me give her a kiss.

maniclion · 06-19-2009, 02:30 PM

Oh yeah, well I would ask if she and her parents would like to have Sunday Brunch together after church. Then we would take a chaperoned stroll through the park where we just might hold hands. As we walk I'd throw my coat over small puddles, pick falling leaves from her hair and sing sweet ballads of loves cheer.

On our 30th day of courtship we might be aloud to spend time alone, but her mother would have to sew our sleeves to our sides and our legs into potato sacks so that we couldn't move and fool around......at this point I might put my cheek against hers for a brief moment of exhilaration.

Crono1000 · 06-19-2009, 03:32 PM

We would dictate letters to be written to each other as penpals until she had avoided sunlight long enough to lose her tan because as is we may be confused as an interracial white-hispanic couple. Our first actual contact would be at our wedding when the preacher states "You may now wave at the bride." We would then pay a couple to role play as us and go on our honeymoon for us.

meanwhile I would cheat on her with Angelina Jolie with wild ass fucking

**Dale Mabry** · 06-19-2009, 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crono1000

i would let her tie me to a bed in her basement and drug me into a comma for 2 months straight. On a daily basis she would collect my eye discharge into a gallon of unrefridgerated milk and also strip layers of my skin until she had enough to twine a whip made of my own flesh. When I finally awake 2 months later she forces me to ingest the gallon of eyemilk by whipping me with the skinwhip. Each time I vomit she picks off a healing scab from the previous skinning with a rusty butterknife with 2 months worth of my own nail clippings glued to it. When I finally finish the milk we have sex in the resulting puddle of blood, vomit, eye discharge, skin and nail clippings, and spoiled milk. And it would be worth it.

I disappear from the boards for like 3 months and I come back to post this. My god I have problems...

Dude, no one is going to believe a story about YOU and Megan Fox having sex without transformers being involved in some way.

Crono1000 · 06-19-2009, 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dale Mabry

Dude, no one is going to believe a story about YOU and Megan Fox having sex without transformers being involved in some way.

well I figured it was implied that we were dressed as Optimus and Starscream throughout the entire process. Most of my stories do

min0 lee · 06-22-2009, 07:28 AM

Little Wing · 06-22-2009, 12:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crono1000

We would dictate letters to be written to each other as penpals until she had avoided sunlight long enough to lose her tan because as is we may be confused as an interracial white-hispanic couple. Our first actual contact would be at our wedding when the preacher states "You may now wave at the bride." We would then pay a couple to role play as us and go on our honeymoon for us.

meanwhile I would cheat on her with Angelina Jolie with wild ass fucking

ok i just watched try not to laugh vids on youtube. none were funny. the closing here made me laugh.

Little Wing · 06-22-2009, 12:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by min0 lee

and i'm quite sure angelina would not ignore a child trying to give her a rose.

min0 lee · 06-22-2009, 02:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Little Wing

and i'm quite sure angelina would not ignore a child trying to give her a rose.

The Monkey Man · 06-22-2009, 03:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Little Wing

and i'm quite sure angelina would not ignore a child trying to give her a rose.

Who cares?

All that adopting kids, and hanging out in 3rd world shithole's
is just not hot.

Thats why Brad's getting the panky on the side.

**Dale Mabry** · 06-22-2009, 03:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crono1000

well I figured it was implied that we were dressed as Optimus and Starscream throughout the entire process. Most of my stories do

Which one of you is Starscream?

Doublebase · 06-23-2009, 07:27 AM

Us Magazine - Megan Fox Apologizes for Snubbing Little Boy

T_man · 06-23-2009, 09:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by min0 lee

It looks like she didn't see him and was being pulled away.

Besides. Look at those breasts. Perfection.

Megan Fox over Angelina any day.

T_man · 06-23-2009, 10:07 AM

I don't believe in soul mates and stuff like that.

But if I did;
I would say Megan Fox was totally not mine.

She'd be soul mates with some gods somewhere.

maniclion · 06-23-2009, 02:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by T_man

It looks like she didn't see him and was being pulled away.

Besides. Look at those breasts. Perfection.

Megan Fox over Angelina any day.

Angelina's are much more perfect than Megan Fox's boobs, have you seen Gia!

min0 lee · 06-23-2009, 02:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maniclion

Angelina's are much more perfect than Megan Fox's boobs, have you seen Gia!

Angelina is more of women....

The Monkey Man · 06-23-2009, 03:29 PM

Out with the old...
In with the new.

And other votes for old accordian-vagine's replacement?

min0 lee · 06-23-2009, 04:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Monkey Man

Out with the old...
In with the new.

And other votes for old accordian-vagine's replacement?

I'm pretty sure Fox is no longer tight.

I think older woman have a lot more to offer than younger woman.

Jolie still has a better body over shorty.

T_man · 06-23-2009, 04:38 PM

Angelina is too up-tight and conservative to really tickle my fancy.

At my age I stay away from any snobby, conservative cunts cos they really are a waste of time atm.

Megan Fox all the way.

min0 lee · 06-23-2009, 04:45 PM

I would have thought Angelina was more Liberal in her views.

Unless you mean she won't open her legs to easy making her conservative and Megan more easy so she's liberal?

Who really wants a slut?

min0 lee · 06-23-2009, 04:48 PM

min0 lee · 06-23-2009, 04:50 PM

min0 lee · 06-23-2009, 05:11 PM

Quote:

Two years ago, Megan offered up too much information she revealed her questionable hygiene habits.

She told FHM: 'I'm horrible to live with. I don't clean. My clothes end up wherever I take them off. I forget to flush the toilet. Friends will tell me, "Megan, you totally pinched a loaf in my toilet and didn't flush."'

Yuck!!

06-18-2009, 06:56 PM	#33
maniclion Cartographer of the Mind Elite Member Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Mens Incognita Posts: 20,435 Photos: 10	I guess you'd like to hold her hostage for a few month's, go to walmart and buy the whole rack of white panties, feed her beef and bean burritos from 7-11 everyday. You'd only give her 4 squares of toilet paper a day then make her change her underwear every 2 days. You would then meticulously carve old the brownish stains from the used panties and boil them in a small beaker until all residue dissolved into the solution, then you would put it in the sun until the liquid evaporated and scrape the residue into a pie pan with the other days scrapings. You'd also be collecting her menstruation each time and freezing it for later use. Once you felt you had enough you thaw out the spoiled tomato like jello stuff and mix it with the residual feces until it form a paste, then you take her urine and get it to an ink like consistency. Then you take a tattoo gun with needles you made out of her unshaven armpit hair and melted toenail clippings and tattoo her facial features over your face, then her breasts over your chest and her vulva over your mons pubis and the base of you penis so that when you tuck it for a mangina it looks like hers. Then you give her an amnesia inducing drug, she forgets the whole past few month's, goes on with her life except for when you show up as a streaker at events she attends..... "We are like tenant farmers chopping down the fence around our house for fuel when we should be using Natures inexhaustible sources of energy — sun, wind and tide. ... I'd put my money on the sun and solar energy. What a source of power! I hope we don't have to wait until oil and coal run out before we tackle that." Thomas Edison: In conversation with Henry Ford and Harvey Firestone

06-18-2009, 08:26 PM	#35
T_man Registered User Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Leeds, England Posts: 1,247 Photos: 1	Cheat on your girlfriend, not on your meal.

06-19-2009, 02:30 PM	#39
maniclion Cartographer of the Mind Elite Member Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Mens Incognita Posts: 20,435 Photos: 10	Oh yeah, well I would ask if she and her parents would like to have Sunday Brunch together after church. Then we would take a chaperoned stroll through the park where we just might hold hands. As we walk I'd throw my coat over small puddles, pick falling leaves from her hair and sing sweet ballads of loves cheer. On our 30th day of courtship we might be aloud to spend time alone, but her mother would have to sew our sleeves to our sides and our legs into potato sacks so that we couldn't move and fool around......at this point I might put my cheek against hers for a brief moment of exhilaration. "We are like tenant farmers chopping down the fence around our house for fuel when we should be using Natures inexhaustible sources of energy — sun, wind and tide. ... I'd put my money on the sun and solar energy. What a source of power! I hope we don't have to wait until oil and coal run out before we tackle that." Thomas Edison: In conversation with Henry Ford and Harvey Firestone

06-22-2009, 07:28 AM	#43
min0 lee Senior Member Elite Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: The Bronx, NYC Posts: 38,792 Photos: 542	How To Do The Perfect Bench Press Rep Bodybuilding and Lifting Weights, the Difference ironmagazine-frapper

06-23-2009, 07:27 AM	#49
Doublebase Lightweight, Ya Buddy! Elite Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Philly Posts: 7,323	Us Magazine - Megan Fox Apologizes for Snubbing Little Boy "A child does not learn to squat from the top down -- in other words, he does not suddenly make a conscious decision one day to squat. Actually, he is squatting one day and makes the conscious decision to stand." - Gray Cook

06-18-2009, 04:30 PM	#32
Crono1000 Peelosopher Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 6,043 Photos: 11	i would let her tie me to a bed in her basement and drug me into a comma for 2 months straight. On a daily basis she would collect my eye discharge into a gallon of unrefridgerated milk and also strip layers of my skin until she had enough to twine a whip made of my own flesh. When I finally awake 2 months later she forces me to ingest the gallon of eyemilk by whipping me with the skinwhip. Each time I vomit she picks off a healing scab from the previous skinning with a rusty butterknife with 2 months worth of my own nail clippings glued to it. When I finally finish the milk we have sex in the resulting puddle of blood, vomit, eye discharge, skin and nail clippings, and spoiled milk. And it would be worth it. I disappear from the boards for like 3 months and I come back to post this. My god I have problems...

06-19-2009, 11:40 AM	#38
Crono1000 Peelosopher Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 6,043 Photos: 11	I would take her out to dinner and pay. I would buy her flowers and let her choose a movie for us to watch, probably a chick flick but I'm ok with that. Then I would drive her home, compliment her, and then hug her goodbye, and maybe in a date or two when she's ready she might let me give her a kiss.

06-19-2009, 03:32 PM	#40
Crono1000 Peelosopher Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 6,043 Photos: 11	We would dictate letters to be written to each other as penpals until she had avoided sunlight long enough to lose her tan because as is we may be confused as an interracial white-hispanic couple. Our first actual contact would be at our wedding when the preacher states "You may now wave at the bride." We would then pay a couple to role play as us and go on our honeymoon for us. meanwhile I would cheat on her with Angelina Jolie with wild ass fucking

06-23-2009, 10:07 AM	#51
T_man Registered User Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Leeds, England Posts: 1,247 Photos: 1	I don't believe in soul mates and stuff like that. But if I did; I would say Megan Fox was totally not mine. She'd be soul mates with some gods somewhere. Cheat on your girlfriend, not on your meal.

06-23-2009, 03:29 PM	#54
The Monkey Man Magical Apelikemenace Elite Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: New Delhi, India Posts: 14,393 Photos: 57	Out with the old... In with the new. And other votes for old accordian-vagine's replacement? Have Problems?... Chances are its due to overpopulation Save The Oceans, Save the Planet, Save Your Family, Save Yourself!

06-23-2009, 04:38 PM	#56
T_man Registered User Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Leeds, England Posts: 1,247 Photos: 1	Angelina is too up-tight and conservative to really tickle my fancy. At my age I stay away from any snobby, conservative cunts cos they really are a waste of time atm. Megan Fox all the way. Cheat on your girlfriend, not on your meal.

06-23-2009, 04:45 PM	#57
min0 lee Senior Member Elite Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: The Bronx, NYC Posts: 38,792 Photos: 542	I would have thought Angelina was more Liberal in her views. Unless you mean she won't open her legs to easy making her conservative and Megan more easy so she's liberal? Who really wants a slut? How To Do The Perfect Bench Press Rep Bodybuilding and Lifting Weights, the Difference ironmagazine-frapper

06-23-2009, 04:48 PM	#58
min0 lee Senior Member Elite Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: The Bronx, NYC Posts: 38,792 Photos: 542	How To Do The Perfect Bench Press Rep Bodybuilding and Lifting Weights, the Difference ironmagazine-frapper

06-23-2009, 04:50 PM	#59
min0 lee Senior Member Elite Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: The Bronx, NYC Posts: 38,792 Photos: 542	How To Do The Perfect Bench Press Rep Bodybuilding and Lifting Weights, the Difference ironmagazine-frapper

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