Burner02

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, MALE &FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.'

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MALE PROCEDURE:

1.. Drive up to the cash machine.

2. Put down your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Put window up.

7.. Drive off.

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FEMALE PROCEDURE:

What is really funny is that most of this part is the Truth.!!!!

1. Drive up to cash machine..

2.. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.

3. Set parking brake, put the window down.

4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.

6.. Attempt to insert card into machine.

7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

8. Insert card.

9. Re-insert card the right way.

10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

11. Enter PIN.

12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

13. Enter amount of cash required.

14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.

17. Write debit amount in cheque register and place receipt in back of chequebook.

18. Re-check makeup.

19. Drive forward 2 feet.

20. Reverse back to cash machine.

21. Retrieve card.

22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!

23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

25. Redial person on cell phone.

26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

27. Release Parking Brake.

Success leaves clues. People who produce outstanding results do specific things to create those results

Nobody cares what you did yesterday or what you are going to do tomorrow. What is important is what you are doing NOW to solve our problem

THERE IS NO TOMORROW!
- Appollo Creed

maniclion

No usually it's 27. Call boyfriend/spouse complaining that the car is sluggish and smells like something's burning.
28. Release Parking Brake as instructed


Plus I'd like to add an addendum to #1 Drive Up while scraping driver side rims on curb.....

"We are like tenant farmers chopping down the fence around our house for fuel when we should be using Natures inexhaustible sources of energy — sun, wind and tide. ... I'd put my money on the sun and solar energy. What a source of power! I hope we don't have to wait until oil and coal run out before we tackle that."
Thomas Edison: In conversation with Henry Ford and Harvey Firestone

IronAddict

# 8, should read, roll down window and order a Big Mac with no cheese and a small coke.

The journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.

maniclion

should read, roll down window and order a Big Mac with no meat no cheese and a small coke. Do I want fries with that? What does that mean? Do I look so fat that you presume I always get fries or am I so skinny you think I need to eat more? I'm so confused, when I go home tonight I'm going to mentally torture my husband / boyfriend.........

"We are like tenant farmers chopping down the fence around our house for fuel when we should be using Natures inexhaustible sources of energy — sun, wind and tide. ... I'd put my money on the sun and solar energy. What a source of power! I hope we don't have to wait until oil and coal run out before we tackle that."
Thomas Edison: In conversation with Henry Ford and Harvey Firestone