Farrah Fawcett goes to Heaven

The Monkey Man · 06-29-2009, 11:26 AM

When Farrah Fawcett got to heaven, she waited a few hours for her turn, and then went through the pearly gates, where she was greeted by God.

"Wow!" exclaimed God, "We really enjoyed your work here. Especially Charlie's Angels!
I still have a poster in my office of you with that red swimsuit!"

Farrah is a little taken aback. "Thank you, Lord..."
God goes on, "Well, I have a special reward for you.
I'm prepared to grant you one wish. Have anything in mind?"

Not one to act selfishly and change God's opinion of her, Farrah thinks for a second and decides upon a wish.

"I'd like for all the children of the world to be safe and sound forever."

"Done!" exclaims the Heavenly Father.
He snaps His fingers, and Michael Jackson instantly appears next to her.

Triple Threat · 06-29-2009, 11:27 AM

IronAddict · 06-29-2009, 11:33 AM

I thought you were going to say, and the lord said," I thought you were rude and stuck up, because everytime I held up your poster with one hand you would always just shine me on and ignore me".

chobby192 · 06-29-2009, 11:49 AM

..or may be she will experience this:

When we die, we lose consciousness and our mind exits our body. When we regain consciousness, we are in what is known as the bardo, the transitional passage between death and our next birth.

The terrain that unfolds before us in the bardo is a reflection of our habitual thoughts and feelings. Since we are just mind in the bardo, whatever we think can instantly appear, karma permitting. If we think "New York," we will immediately be there. If the next moment we think "London," that is where we are. If we had strong devotion in a higher being, we could see them.

If bardo beings could remember and maintain the understanding that they are just mind, they could control their journey.

Without prior training in meditation, however, it will be difficult for us to remember that the bardo is a mental projection, the same way that it is hard for us to be aware that we are dreaming during a dream. In fact, many people don’t even realize that they have died until some time afterwards. Bardo beings imagine that they still have their body due to their past habit. So they see that they have a body. They often try to talk to people they know and join family or friends for meals. However, since no one can see them, they are ignored and may become upset. When family members arrange their funeral, they often insist, "But I'm here. I’m not dead! Can’t you see?"
The reason for bardo beings' confusion is that, without a physical body to stabilize them, they cannot analyze anything. They fly from thought to thought like a leaf in a gale. One moment they may realize that they have died. But the next, they forget and again think that they are alive.

At some point the deceased hears a voice calling him or her from afar. Following the voice, he suddenly finds himself in an unfamiliar place and senses that now he can no longer turn back, but must keep going forward.

Just saw this on the internet. It is so interesting that people have so many different views.

min0 lee · 06-29-2009, 12:58 PM

At the original poster.

At Chobby, your such a drama queen.

maniclion · 06-29-2009, 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chobby192

..or may be she will experience this:

Bardo beings imagine that they still have their body due to their past habit. So they see that they have a body. They often try to talk to people they know and join family or friends for meals. However, since no one can see them, they are ignored and may become upset. When family members arrange their funeral, they often insist, "But I'm here. I’m not dead! Can’t you see?"[/b]

Just saw this on the internet. It is so interesting that people have so many different views.

Why don't you just use the common names instead of some goofball shit like Bardo? Sounds to me like ghosts in the spirit world, or the theory of Limbo......maybe you can guide her like the ghost whisperer.......maybe whisper this joke in her ear and watch her laugh......welcome back to IM Blooming Tianshi Lotus....

Little Wing · 06-29-2009, 05:36 PM

maniclion · 06-29-2009, 05:41 PM

chobby192 · 06-29-2009, 11:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maniclion

Blooming Tianshi Lotus....

maxpro2 · 06-30-2009, 12:18 AM

And how does Billy Mays fit in with this scenario? I guess Farrah wasn't a fan of Mighty Mend It?

freakinhuge · 06-30-2009, 12:07 PM

very funny

lola1182 · 06-30-2009, 04:15 PM

lol, awful but funny joke.

06-29-2009, 11:26 AM	#1
The Monkey Man Magical Apelikemenace Elite Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: New Delhi, India Posts: 14,393 Photos: 57	*Farrah Fawcett goes to Heaven* When Farrah Fawcett got to heaven, she waited a few hours for her turn, and then went through the pearly gates, where she was greeted by God. "Wow!" exclaimed God, "We really enjoyed your work here. Especially Charlie's Angels! I still have a poster in my office of you with that red swimsuit!" Farrah is a little taken aback. "Thank you, Lord..." God goes on, "Well, I have a special reward for you. I'm prepared to grant you one wish. Have anything in mind?" Not one to act selfishly and change God's opinion of her, Farrah thinks for a second and decides upon a wish. "I'd like for all the children of the world to be safe and sound forever." "Done!" exclaims the Heavenly Father. He snaps His fingers, and Michael Jackson instantly appears next to her. Have Problems?... Chances are its due to overpopulation Save The Oceans, Save the Planet, Save Your Family, Save Yourself!

06-29-2009, 11:33 AM	#3
IronAddict YOU ME WE Elite Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: In my skin Posts: 2,801	I thought you were going to say, and the lord said," I thought you were rude and stuck up, because everytime I held up your poster with one hand you would always just shine me on and ignore me". The journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.

06-29-2009, 11:49 AM	#4
chobby192 Senior Member Elite Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: united states Posts: 658	..or may be she will experience this: When we die, we lose consciousness and our mind exits our body. When we regain consciousness, we are in what is known as the bardo, the transitional passage between death and our next birth. The terrain that unfolds before us in the bardo is a reflection of our habitual thoughts and feelings. Since we are just mind in the bardo, whatever we think can instantly appear, karma permitting. If we think "New York," we will immediately be there. If the next moment we think "London," that is where we are. If we had strong devotion in a higher being, we could see them. If bardo beings could remember and maintain the understanding that they are just mind, they could control their journey. Without prior training in meditation, however, it will be difficult for us to remember that the bardo is a mental projection, the same way that it is hard for us to be aware that we are dreaming during a dream. In fact, many people don’t even realize that they have died until some time afterwards. Bardo beings imagine that they still have their body due to their past habit. So they see that they have a body. They often try to talk to people they know and join family or friends for meals. However, since no one can see them, they are ignored and may become upset. When family members arrange their funeral, they often insist, "But I'm here. I’m not dead! Can’t you see?" The reason for bardo beings' confusion is that, without a physical body to stabilize them, they cannot analyze anything. They fly from thought to thought like a leaf in a gale. One moment they may realize that they have died. But the next, they forget and again think that they are alive. At some point the deceased hears a voice calling him or her from afar. Following the voice, he suddenly finds himself in an unfamiliar place and senses that now he can no longer turn back, but must keep going forward. Just saw this on the internet. It is so interesting that people have so many different views. China has become more capitalist than America; America has become more communist than China. ~ Propaganda Buster Last edited by chobby192 : 06-29-2009 at 12:01 PM.

06-29-2009, 12:58 PM	#5
min0 lee Senior Member Elite Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: The Bronx, NYC Posts: 38,792 Photos: 542	At the original poster. At Chobby, your such a drama queen. How To Do The Perfect Bench Press Rep Bodybuilding and Lifting Weights, the Difference ironmagazine-frapper

06-29-2009, 05:36 PM	#7
Little Wing Mommmmmm, turn it down!!! Elite Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: United States Posts: 23,757 Photos: 191	"MUSCLE IS TRULY GUARANTEED IF YOU WILL HONESTLY work out to BE YOUR VERY BEST - GO FOR IT!!! BECAUSE YOU CAN!!!!!! Take Care, John H."

06-29-2009, 11:27 AM	#2
Triple Threat End of the world Elite Member Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Lost Posts: 10,444 Photos: 6

06-29-2009, 05:41 PM	#8
maniclion Cartographer of the Mind Elite Member Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Mens Incognita Posts: 20,432 Photos: 10	"We are like tenant farmers chopping down the fence around our house for fuel when we should be using Natures inexhaustible sources of energy — sun, wind and tide. ... I'd put my money on the sun and solar energy. What a source of power! I hope we don't have to wait until oil and coal run out before we tackle that." Thomas Edison: In conversation with Henry Ford and Harvey Firestone

06-30-2009, 12:18 AM	#10
maxpro2 Registered User Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 1,121	And how does Billy Mays fit in with this scenario? I guess Farrah wasn't a fan of Mighty Mend It?

06-30-2009, 12:07 PM	#11
freakinhuge Registered User Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: United States Posts: 71	very funny

06-30-2009, 04:15 PM	#12
lola1182 Registered User Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: CA Posts: 200	lol, awful but funny joke.

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***Farrah Fawcett goes to Heaven***

Farrah Fawcett goes to Heaven