What do you do when your taking a crap?

**soxmuscle** · 07-27-2009, 05:02 PM

I'm starting a thread on IronMagazine right now as I'm taking a huge dump.

Whenever I feel a big one brewing, I always bring my lap top with me. At school, I rent MensHealth magazines from the library and leave them in the bathroom for the week that I have them; I normally read an entire issue after only a couple days worth of dumps.

So, what do you do when you poop?

**PainandGain** · 07-27-2009, 05:32 PM

Masturbate, naturally.

**IronAddict** · 07-27-2009, 05:43 PM

I just try to count the splashes.

**The Monkey Man** · 07-27-2009, 06:17 PM

Moan with pleasure and then Inspect -

**maniclion** · 07-27-2009, 06:35 PM

I used to bring a book or the comics from the days paper, nothing like laughing at your own farts and laughing at Beetle Bailey, then I started reading books on my Iphone and now I take my Netbook so I can read or add some stuff to my writing journal, then I can transition from the Turdlet to the couch with little interuption......I was going to buy a Kindle until I found out they can erase books from your unit without permission......

**lucifuge** · 07-27-2009, 06:39 PM

poop.
sometimes I read, but I always poop.

**Dale Mabry** · 07-27-2009, 07:00 PM

I scramble eggs on a hot plate.

**Mudge** · 07-27-2009, 07:21 PM

Usually, I push. It takes me about 2 or 3 minutes from start to finish, I don't live in there. Get in and get out.

**maxpro2** · 07-27-2009, 08:37 PM

Cell phone game. Currently I play Tiger Woods Golf

**maniclion** · 07-27-2009, 08:42 PM

When I was younger I had to read something even if it was the back of a shampoo bottle, now that I always have my cell phone I never had to resort to that.....

If there was nothing then I would stare at the floor until strange patterns or images would appear....

**busyLivin** · 07-27-2009, 08:52 PM

Originally Posted by Dale Mabry

I scramble eggs on a hot plate.

**Yanick** · 07-27-2009, 09:07 PM

Originally Posted by maniclion

When I was younger I had to read something even if it was the back of a shampoo bottle, now that I always have my cell phone I never had to resort to that.....

If there was nothing then I would stare at the floor until strange patterns or images would appear....

Yeah, I need to read something. My bathroom is stocked with Maxim's, Car and Drivers, some Nursing journals my mom gets, a book or two. If I've absolutely read everything in there and can't stand to thumb through the magazines I'll read the ingredients on shampoos, soaps etc. I get some sick twisted pleasure from the big chemistry words. Sometimes I crap in my parents' bathroom, because they put in one of those wall bidet things, and I use that opportunity to work on my reading Russian. I can get caught up on the shitter and spend like an hour there lol.

**lnvanry** · 07-27-2009, 09:55 PM

I usually get a blumpkin

**Little Wing** · 07-27-2009, 10:58 PM

go in poop, wipe, flush, and leave. takes less than a minute. what the hell are you guys eating? zebras?

**Hoglander** · 07-27-2009, 11:08 PM

CRAP!! I forgot to to check for TP before I sat down, AGAIN!

Then I check.

80 % : )

Sometimes....

**soxmuscle** · 07-28-2009, 01:02 AM

Originally Posted by PainandGain

Masturbate, naturally.

I have two friends who made a $1000 dollar bet with eachother about who can get a blumpkin (taking a shit and getting head at same time) first.

ridiculous to me.

**soxmuscle** · 07-28-2009, 01:04 AM

Originally Posted by lnvanry

I usually get a blumpkin

haha.. above

**soxmuscle** · 07-28-2009, 01:06 AM

Originally Posted by Little Wing

go in poop, wipe, flush, and leave. takes less than a minute. what the hell are you guys eating? zebras?

i imagine rose petals falling gracefully into the water.

in other news,

do you use wet wipes?

the shelf life on a pair of white boxer briefs have a shelf life of like two months for me - I think I might start

**I Are Baboon** · 07-28-2009, 05:12 AM

Originally Posted by soxmuscle

I have two friends who made a $1000 dollar bet with eachother about who can get a blumpkin (taking a shit and getting head at same time) first.

ridiculous to me.

So was there a winner?

**min0 lee** · 07-28-2009, 05:35 AM

I think about the Red Sox.

**tucker01** · 07-28-2009, 06:29 AM

Poker on my Blackberry

**irishteen** · 07-28-2009, 06:40 AM

Listen to sum quality rap!!

**soxmuscle** · 07-28-2009, 08:08 AM

Originally Posted by I Are Baboon

So was there a winner?

not yet unless a miracle happened this summer and it slipped their minds when I've talked to them.

I doubt it ever happens. what sane girl... oh wait.. girls aren't sane.

**soxmuscle** · 07-28-2009, 08:09 AM

Originally Posted by min0 lee

I think about the Red Sox offense.

**min0 lee** · 07-28-2009, 08:16 AM

Originally Posted by soxmuscle

Return to the Sports thread. I'll be on my best behavior.

**AKIRA** · 07-28-2009, 08:17 AM

I usually piss when I shit.

**min0 lee** · 07-28-2009, 08:18 AM

Originally Posted by AKIRA

I usually piss when I shit.

From your ass?

**AKIRA** · 07-28-2009, 08:21 AM

When my asshole wants to confuse me, then I am pissing the entire time.

**min0 lee** · 07-28-2009, 08:23 AM

The burn!!!!!!!!!!!!

**IronAddict** · 07-28-2009, 12:23 PM

Originally Posted by soxmuscle

I have two friends who made a $1000 dollar bet with eachother about who can get a blumpkin (taking a shit and getting head at same time) first.

ridiculous to me.

Oh my!

I don't even think that is physically possible. But you've got some nasty ass friends, and these would definately not be the women you bring home to meet mom!

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