AKIRA

Mine are pretty basic so they arent really funny. However, my friend who loves to SHIT on floors at family restaurants had a story that left me in tears.

Ryan started dating a girl about 2-3 weeks in and they spent a day at the beach or pool or something, who cares. But he did use her towels to dry off from wherever they went and left them in the car.

That night, after his lovely day in water with his newly crowned girl, he dropped her off at home and returned home himself to shower for a nice dinner later at a classy restaurant. He showers, puts on some dashing garments and heads to her place.

Her house is about 20 minutes away from his and about 15 min later, he feels the shit of a life time coming on. He farts and shits right through his boxers. But it doesnt end there. He cant hold it!

So what does Ryan do? He pulls over in this girl's neighborhood, less than 5 min away now, and SHITS in the grass on the side of the road. He then wipes his ass with HER towel and throws his boxers into the bushes. So he puts his expensive pants back onto his shitty ass, turns around, and goes home to re-shower.

She kept calling wondering where the fuck he was.

When I heard this story, it was told nonchalantly, and he didnt notice me laughing so hard because of the fact that I laughing to the point that I couldnt make a noise. When I finally gasped for air, I just pictured turning onto this newly desecrated street in my car, with the headlights passing by a parked car and some asshole shitting all over mother earth.

6' 209lbs (8/16)
Bench 365 (12/3)
Weighted Pullups 80lbs 3x3 (3/19)
Squat 370
Deadlift after herniation 385lbs 3x3 (3/17)
NASM certified 2/06
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