Thread: Looking for bro advice

Originally Posted by maniclion

Funny thing, I'm the sensitive more emotional creature and my GF is the more logical less sensitive one, but she knew I was a writer/poet when we met and it works out she keeps my artist mind from floating off too far and I appeal to her feminine need for a more sensitive man....

i think my son is going to be like this. he's 12 years old and was sleepy the other night and goes "tell me a love story" he has all these plans for when he has a girlfriend and they're romantic like cooking her dinner. he says the worst day of his life was when we moved away from this little girl Kaylee.

I would marry her and have a baby. That always works.

It'll fall apart eventually, so ride it out while you can, hit that hot puss in as many positions in as many crazy locations as humanly possible so you've got mental JO material for life. Take pictures, lots of pictures. Clothed, naked, as many as you can. It'll end eventually and you will have at least banged some top notch poon for the ol resume and have the pics to prove it. Enjoy it while it lasts.

Originally Posted by Crono1000

there's a 10% of her that is certifiably insane. I thought she was bipolar, but I'm pretty sure it's full on Borderline Personality Disorder.

Does she get over stuff really quickly too, like within 5-20 minutes as if nothing happened?

If so, then I've been there. The sex was great, I'd come home and hands probably went straight down my pants, but that few percent of the time she would be mad/jealous over bullshyt that just made no sense. Not only would she get mad, but she would yell even at 11:30 at night when I was trying to sleep, I felt I did just about everything possible for her but when she was mad basically I was a huge dick. In the long run I miss the good times because she was funny and we made each other laugh, but that little insanity was too over the top for me to handle. She didn't take 30 minutes to get "in the mood" which was awesome, and we had a lot of fun but the rest just killed it.

Originally Posted by weldingman

I had to leave I tried everything I could to help her and nothing worked. I had to leave that nightmare.

I actually showed amazing patience and logic with my ex, and I think somehow that might have just made her more mad. All attention had to be for her, even me talking about guy friends made her jealous, then she'd start calling me gay. She was just nuts, couldn't help her, and that 5 minutes out of every hour or two just was too much to handle.

Originally Posted by JDub

It'll fall apart eventually, so ride it out while you can, hit that hot puss in as many positions in as many crazy locations as humanly possible so you've got mental JO material for life. Take pictures, lots of pictures. Clothed, naked, as many as you can. It'll end eventually and you will have at least banged some top notch poon for the ol resume and have the pics to prove it. Enjoy it while it lasts.

That is actually some great advice!

Originally Posted by bio-chem

have you tried asking her about what's going on? trying pointing it out while it is happening?

by the way 90% great 10% crazy is not worth walking away from. I would kill for that percentage. literally. i would kill. i would end random human life for a relationship with that percentage of good/crazy.

when you wake up and she is standing over you watching you sleep then you know its time to leave. until then enjoy the ride.

very much agreed^^^^, to the op, her insecurity most likely stemming from her past is what is most likely causeing these "freak outs". try and make her understand that if you're relationship is going to last there needs to be open communication between you both. that means if (for whatever reason) she wants to ask you some crazy question about something, she should not feel weird about doing it. make her understand that she can ask yo uanything, but make her also understand that you're past is your past and hers is hers. if you're willing to judge someone on who they are right now and what they do right now then so should she. if not, then there's no respect.

Originally Posted by Mudge

Does she get over stuff really quickly too, like within 5-20 minutes as if nothing happened?

If so, then I've been there. The sex was great, I'd come home and hands probably went straight down my pants, but that few percent of the time she would be mad/jealous over bullshyt that just made no sense. Not only would she get mad, but she would yell even at 11:30 at night when I was trying to sleep, I felt I did just about everything possible for her but when she was mad basically I was a huge dick. In the long run I miss the good times because she was funny and we made each other laugh, but that little insanity was too over the top for me to handle. She didn't take 30 minutes to get "in the mood" which was awesome, and we had a lot of fun but the rest just killed it.

this sounds like her exactly. She does cool off after about 20 min to an hour, and then everything is freaking great, and mostly because I assert myself but acknowledge her feelings as well (which is good for crazies and not-so-crazies). But sometimes she just throws me curve balls and I have such a hard time keeping up. That 90% is amazing though, she's fun and funny, she's sweet and caring, she's crazy sexy and does things and wants stuff that I didn't know could fit into one woman's sexuality. But that 10% is so indescribably unbearable and unpredictable.

The latest crazy: She had made plans to miss a couple days of work and to spend the weekend with me. Suddenly she couldn't take off anymore, and she would even be working later that current day so that we wouldn't get to see each other at all. I say that I'll come see her for the night anyway, and we'll just have a good night on the town. I pick her up, and she says with no consideration of my emotions, "I'm moving to Columbia! Also, I got the day off, so let's go to your house for the weekend!"

Ok, I'm thinking, booty call time. She's pulling the whole "let's do it but then I have to leave for Europe because I'm a secret agent" routine. I'm perfectly ok with this, but I call her on it. I have a private argument with my penis, I reluctantly win this argument, and say that her story sounds suspicous and I want her to be honest with me: if she wants to just fool around then let's fool around, but tell me. We spend an hour about how I think she's a lieing whore, which is understandable, but once I deescalate the situation we go to my place and have a freaking amazing night. And most of the sexual stuff was geared toward me, so I don't feel like she was trying to just get in some booty time.

The night ends and she's absolutely in love with me again, can't live without me, I'm the best boyfriend in the world and she will never let me go. So what the hell is going on?

Have you tried a lobotomy?

don't ever argue with your penis. your penis always has your best interest at heart. your problems are solved dude. she is moving to columbia (by the way, it's not in europe). so you don't even have to break up with her. just keep fucking her till she leaves

Sounds to me like she wants you to do it in her butt, she wants it so deep her eyes waggle like a Felix the Cat clock, and hey if she doesn't come around after that then at least you can say you did it.....

pics.

Originally Posted by bio-chem

don't ever argue with your penis. your penis always has your best interest at heart. your problems are solved dude. she is moving to columbia (by the way, it's not in europe). so you don't even have to break up with her. just keep fucking her till she leaves

I know its not in europe, I just meant it like if I told a girl I just slept with that I'm a double-o agent and have to leave for a mission in the morning and don't know when ill be back, well it sounds like a line for a one night stand.

Originally Posted by maniclion

Sounds to me like she wants you to do it in her butt, she wants it so deep her eyes waggle like a Felix the Cat clock, and hey if she doesn't come around after that then at least you can say you did it.....

Pee on her

Originally Posted by JDub

It'll fall apart eventually, so ride it out while you can, hit that hot puss in as many positions in as many crazy locations as humanly possible so you've got mental JO material for life. Take pictures, lots of pictures. Clothed, naked, as many as you can. It'll end eventually and you will have at least banged some top notch poon for the ol resume and have the pics to prove it. Enjoy it while it lasts.

This is basically what its coming down to. She's accusing me of shit that I don't do to the point that all of my genuine efforts toward a relationship become void, and all that's left are a magnificant pair of boobs and an unbelievably hot girl that tells me she wants my cum on her face. I'm not going to argue that.

Originally Posted by Crono1000

I know its not in europe, I just meant it like if I told a girl I just slept with that I'm a double-o agent and have to leave for a mission in the morning and don't know when ill be back, well it sounds like a line for a one night stand.

I was just teasing you bro. i knew what you meant

Originally Posted by SYN

Pee on her

you are one kinky girl SYN. damn.

Originally Posted by Crono1000

she wants my cum on her face.

don't guys know this is code for "ewww don't get that shit in my mouth"?

Originally Posted by SYN

Pee on her

Using Crono's own line against him. Well done SYN, BRAVO!

Funniest post of the whole damn year.

Originally Posted by Crono1000

Ok, I'm thinking, booty call time. She's pulling the whole "let's do it but then I have to leave for Europe because I'm a secret agent" routine. I'm perfectly ok with this, but I call her on it.

I want her to be honest with me: if she wants to just fool around then let's fool around, but tell me. We spend an hour about how I think she's a lieing whore

Trying to talk about that stuff was a mistake. Refer to my previous post for how you should have handled that and for how you should continue to handle things going forward.

Seriously. I'm here to help.

Regards,
Doc Hoops
"Life Coach for People with Questionable Morals"

Originally Posted by Little Wing

don't guys know this is code for "ewww don't get that shit in my mouth"?

not this chick

I say have crazy amazing sex as much as possible and as often as you want. Act out your fantasies with such a great catch...This way if she continues to be crazy at least you had your fun for awhile

Trust me broskie you'll regret it if you dont!!

She can also be testing you, ask her in a nice way ex:

You: Hey baby I wanted to ask you something but dont get mad...kk?

Her: Ugh! Ok what?

You: Why are you so awesome most of the time, but this total bitch come's out of you from time to time...


Something like that....

She goes off into left field and starts talking crazy shit? Stick your dick down her throat. Problem solved.

Originally Posted by SYN

Pee on her

wow, I just did a search for "pee on her" by Crono1000. My advice truly is limited to this solution...

well yeah this pretty much ended in a clusterfuck. I spent all night doing sweet boyfriend talk on the phone, told her a bedtime story, yada yada. Then as we're hanging up she decides that I think something bad about her. Ok, I think, she's being insecure, so I assure her I'm not. Then I call her "baby." She loves this, but tells me that it took too long to do it because I must have called my ex baby so that means I'm still in love with her. She then goes on to tell me how I don't like her and I'm just playing games and I don't worship her like every past boyfriend of hers did (because I have a pair).

Anyway, I completely lose it and tell her that she's a crazy bitch and as someone who works in the mental health field she fucking needs pills.

I think I could have handled it better, but I honestly couldn't take it any more. No matter how fucking hot she is. Oh well, I lasted a whole month and like JDub said I have some JO material to last me for a while. Oh well, on to being a sex camel for another 6 months.

I'm going to need some serious reputation points for this post.

You're better off. Reps delivered