Dear Mr. Abby

mmafiter · 08-28-2002, 08:04 PM

EVER WONDERED WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE IF DEAR ABBY WAS A MAN?
--------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mr. Abby:

Q: My husband wants a threesome with my bestfriend and me.

A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing - your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can bring you closer together. Why not get some of your old collage roommates involved too? If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you. If you're still not sure then just perform oral on him.

-----------------------------------------------------

Dear Mr. Abby:

Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.

A: Do it. Sperm can help you loose weight and gives a great glow
to your skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to
perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day.

----------------------------------------------------------

Dear Mr. Abby:

Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.

A: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged.
The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with
other men. A night out chasing young single girls is a great stress
relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two (it's a great time to clean the house too!).

Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do when he gets home is for you and your best friend to perform oral on him.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Mr. Abby:

Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.

A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must
mess with it, do it in your own time or ask your best friend to
help. You may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and
present it to your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your
selfish guilt, perform oral on him and cook him a delicious meal.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Mr. Abby:

Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to
sleep never giving me one.

A: I'm not sure I understand the problem.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Mr. Abby:

Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.

A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to a man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you should - he should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral on him.

david · 08-29-2002, 08:32 PM

These are pretty good. I've seen this before. Not so popular with the women though! He heh!

animal56 · 08-29-2002, 09:35 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by mmafiter

Dear Mr. Abby:

Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to
sleep never giving me one.

A: I'm not sure I understand the problem.

1...2... Drop your goo!
3...4... Roll over and snore!

Go mmafiter!

mesomorphin' · 08-30-2002, 08:21 AM

Are you sure that's Mr. Abby? That guy is so wise, I would have thought, "Moses" or maybe "Confucious"!

GardeningGrrl · 08-30-2002, 09:05 AM

Giggle - pretty damn funny! And does a good job of capturing the essence of the male mind which, sad to say, has a hard time understanding topics more complex than "oral sex."

It's okay though, you have us women around to handle anything that requires brain power.

mesomorphin' · 08-30-2002, 11:50 AM

Considering that we're generally regarded as creatures who think with our d!cks, its little wonder that many guys regard oral sex as mental hygiene!

08-28-2002, 08:04 PM	#1
mmafiter Red Rocket! Red Rocket! Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Do you EVEN FUQQING care? Posts: 2,020	Dear Mr. Abby EVER WONDERED WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE IF DEAR ABBY WAS A MAN? -------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Mr. Abby: Q: My husband wants a threesome with my bestfriend and me. A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing - your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can bring you closer together. Why not get some of your old collage roommates involved too? If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you. If you're still not sure then just perform oral on him. ----------------------------------------------------- Dear Mr. Abby: Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him. A: Do it. Sperm can help you loose weight and gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day. ---------------------------------------------------------- Dear Mr. Abby: Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys. A: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young single girls is a great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two (it's a great time to clean the house too!). Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do when he gets home is for you and your best friend to perform oral on him. --------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Mr. Abby: Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is. A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it, do it in your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral on him and cook him a delicious meal. ---------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Mr. Abby: Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep never giving me one. A: I'm not sure I understand the problem. -------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Mr. Abby: Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay. A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to a man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you should - he should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral on him.

08-30-2002, 08:21 AM	#4
mesomorphin' Registered User Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: gaithersburg, maryland Posts: 570	Are you sure that's Mr. Abby? That guy is so wise, I would have thought, "Moses" or maybe "Confucious"!
	There's one way to find out....

08-30-2002, 11:50 AM	#6
mesomorphin' Registered User Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: gaithersburg, maryland Posts: 570	Considering that we're generally regarded as creatures who think with our d!cks, its little wonder that many guys regard oral sex as mental hygiene!
	There's one way to find out....

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08-29-2002, 08:32 PM	#2
david EAST COAST BRAT Elite Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Waterworld, FL Posts: 25,419 Photos: 2	These are pretty good. I've seen this before. Not so popular with the women though! He heh!

08-30-2002, 09:05 AM	#5
GardeningGrrl Flower-loving Chickie.... Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: A paradise of flowers Posts: 123	Giggle - pretty damn funny! And does a good job of capturing the essence of the male mind which, sad to say, has a hard time understanding topics more complex than "oral sex." It's okay though, you have us women around to handle anything that requires brain power.