Thread: Should men date single mothers?

Originally Posted by DOMS

I've seen it work, and not work, with single mothers. But I think Prince and Ivanary are right in this case. At 24 years old, he should probably move on, if for no other reason than he's probably not ready to deal with children.

yea i did that shit when i was around that age and i was to young to handle someone elses kid..but that was just me..

Originally Posted by DOMS

Sometimes it's because the guy was a dick.

absolutely, however that just makes it even worse for the boyfriend, he will not only deal with their kids but an asshole ex.

Originally Posted by shiznit2169

Here's the story. I met this girl about a month ago through a friend and she seems very cool and laid back. She sparked some interest as dating potential but when i found out she has two sons (4 and 3 years old) i was immediately turned off because i avoid women who are single with kids.

However, as i started to hang out with her more over the past few weeks, always with groups of friends (never alone), she really seems like an intelligent woman that isn't desperate to find a man to depend on for financial and emotional support. She's the same age as me and is going to school with a decent job but she lives with her parents. She also shares custody of her kids with her ex as they take turns every weekend to look after them.

For some strange reason, i am attracted to her but am well aware of the risks of getting into a relationship with her. Is this something i should stay away from or is there no harm in giving it a shot?

It's not brain surgery dumbass. Just be cautious and take things slow like you would with any other relationship. If you really dig this chick, you may be able to get over the package deal that she is. But, keep in mind that you will be taking on extra responsibilidad with her, if y'all get serious. It may be more baggage than you're ready for. If it is, you want to ditch her ASAP before you or her get too attached.

Personally, when I was in college, there's no way I would've been ready to be a dad. So, my own advice would be to date her a few more times, hit it once or twice, then drop out of site and move on. Just my 2ccs.

GICH!

Originally Posted by Prince

absolutely, however that just makes it even worse for the boyfriend, he will not only deal with their kids but an asshole ex.

yep and guess where he will be picking the kids up from?

I hung out with a friend today who is friend's with the girl i am talking about but went to high school with both her and her ex. The story he told me was that they were together for a few years in high school, got pregnant at 19 and again at 21 (both accidentally) and her parents pressured her to marry the guy since they believed it was the right thing to do. A year later, they got divorced mainly because he is a control freak and a complete asshole. He locked her out of the house and wanted full custody of the kids.

Now, this is coming from a friend that is neutral between the two of them. I haven't met her ex and don't plan on it but there is definitely something shady going on here. I will probably step back for now but am not ruling out the possibility.

Originally Posted by shiznit2169

I hung out with a friend today who is friend's with the girl i am talking about but went to high school with both her and her ex. The story he told me was that they were together for a few years in high school, got pregnant at 19 and again at 21 (both accidentally) and her parents pressured her to marry the guy since they believed it was the right thing to do. A year later, they got divorced mainly because he is a control freak and a complete asshole. He locked her out of the house and wanted full custody of the kids.

Now, this is coming from a friend that is neutral between the two of them. I haven't met her ex and don't plan on it but there is definitely something shady going on here. I will probably step back for now but am not ruling out the possibility.

Don't walk run away

My brother dated a single mom. They started dating when they were 22, got married at 25 and have been married 15 years now.

This is one where you need to judge for yourself. Are you ever going to have kids? With 2 already I would personally not want more than one more...

Its a tough call, and all the advice you can get here will never be personalized to who she really is and what she wants, and your personality needs and wants as well. Its just too hard to tell.

But Prince is partially right that it can get ridiculous, especially if you guys end up in court or whatever. Anything an ex ever says to her that makes you angry, you can't defend physically against, or else YOU are the one going to jail, and so on. It can be risky.

Originally Posted by shiznit2169

A year later, they got divorced mainly because he is a control freak and a complete asshole.

Usually control freaks lock them IN the house, and take their car keys. I've seen this personally

P.S. Me not being the control freak

when i met my second husband i was 22 and he was 31. he was divorced from a wonderful, amazing woman and had two children ages 5 and 9 at the time. it was one of the best experiences of my life being a step mother and is the reason i am a mother today. i still love his daughters very much and still get along great with his first wife. it's stupid to miss out on something that could be very nice because of the experiences of other people. this girl is an individual, treat her as one. keep your eyes, heart and mind open and see what you have to offer each other or don't have to offer. trust me she's smart to ask herself the same questions about you. it's weird how guys always assume they are the prize in the cereal box.

and for the record it takes a REALLY small person to have no love for a child simply because they are not the biological parent.

I've banged many a single mum. They're always looking to find a new daddy/caretaker, so they're always eager to please. Just gotta be sure to disappear b4 they start to get too clingy. Just my 2ccs. Have fun. You may need to get your cell # changed at some point.

GICH!

Shit I got the hook up when I got started with my gf who was a single mother. Not only does she make more money than me and love to buy me shit, but she owns her house, which now that we took out an eq. loan is part mine. We've been together 10 years and it flew by, her daughter is now in college and out of the house. For the first time last year she actually sent me a fathers day card thanking me for all the things I have done to help her. Not every single mom relationship is going to clamp on like a parasite, drain your wallet, steal your soul and confine you to a life of lugging around her extra baggage.

In the end its your choice man.

I'm sorry, but in this day and age, if you're pregnant at 19, you're either complete trash or a rebellious fuck up.

Gotta love parents who force the idea of marriage upon them - fuckin' religion.

Enjoy her, hang with her, have fun with her.. that's harmless fun, but be skeptical of a girl who was pregnant (even accidentally - control alt delete that shit) a year removed from high school.

Originally Posted by soxmuscle

Gotta love parents who force the idea of marriage upon them - fuckin' religion.

If you aren't ready to stay with someone and raise kids right, don't fuck up sex and get pregnant.

bitches be looking to getting knocked up for a lifetime meal tkt

Originally Posted by CaptRichArund

bitches be looking to getting knocked up for a lifetime meal tkt

Arrrrrrr they be wanting me cash

Originally Posted by shiznit2169

Here's the story. I met this girl about a month ago through a friend and she seems very cool and laid back. She sparked some interest as dating potential but when i found out she has two sons (4 and 3 years old) i was immediately turned off because i avoid women who are single with kids.

However, as i started to hang out with her more over the past few weeks, always with groups of friends (never alone), she really seems like an intelligent woman that isn't desperate to find a man to depend on for financial and emotional support. She's the same age as me and is going to school with a decent job but she lives with her parents. She also shares custody of her kids with her ex as they take turns every weekend to look after them.

For some strange reason, i am attracted to her but am well aware of the risks of getting into a relationship with her. Is this something i should stay away from or is there no harm in giving it a shot?

You gotta do what you feel is best, but if she honestly accidentally had two kids, it seems she is pretty dumb by general standards. I'm defining accidentally by, 1.) She didn't mean it to happen. 2.) She didn't want it to happen.

Oops! I got pregnant, how did that happen?!

Oops! I'm knocked up again! I'm so accident prone!

That is a big accident to make twice my friend. It just reads wrong to me.

Originally Posted by shiznit2169

Here's the story. I met this girl about a month ago through a friend and she seems very cool and laid back. She sparked some interest as dating potential but when i found out she has two sons (4 and 3 years old) i was immediately turned off because i avoid women who are single with kids.

However, as i started to hang out with her more over the past few weeks, always with groups of friends (never alone), she really seems like an intelligent woman that isn't desperate to find a man to depend on for financial and emotional support. She's the same age as me and is going to school with a decent job but she lives with her parents. She also shares custody of her kids with her ex as they take turns every weekend to look after them.

For some strange reason, i am attracted to her but am well aware of the risks of getting into a relationship with her. Is this something i should stay away from or is there no harm in giving it a shot?

You gotta do what you feel is best, but if she honestly accidentally had two kids, it seems she is pretty dumb by general standards. I'm defining accidentally by, 1.) She didn't mean it to happen. 2.) She didn't want it to happen.

Oops! I got pregnant, how did that happen?!

Oops! I'm knocked up again! I'm so accident prone!

That is a big accident to make twice my friend.

It really confounds me. Chicks who let guys fill them with man-mayo, all the while never using any form of birth control, are genuinely surprised that they get pregnant.