Thread: More "Things to do in the Mall", jokes

Play the tuba for change.

Ask the Hammond organ dealer if he can play "Jesus Built My Hotrod".

Record belches on electronic sampling keyboards, and perform gastric versions of Jingle Bells for admiring onlookers.

Ask the pharmacist at the drugstore which leading cold remedy will "give you a really wicked buzz".

Ask the personnel at Pier 1 Imports whether they have "any giant crap made out of straw".

"Toast" plastic gag hot dogs in front of the fake fireplace display.

Collect stacks of paint brochures and hand them out as religious tracts.

Ask the information desk for a stroller, and someone to push you around in it.

Change every TV in the electronics department to a station showing "Saved by the Bell". Chant the dialogue in a robotic voice, and scream if anyone tries to switch channels on one of the sets.

Hang out in the waterbed section of the furniture department wearing a Navy uniform. Occasionally run around in circles yelling "scratch one flattop!"

Hand a stack of pants back to the changing room attendant and scornfully announce that none of them are "leak proof".

"Play" the demo modes of video games at the arcade. Make lots of explosion noises.

Stand transfixed in front of a mirror bobbing your head up and down.

Buy a jawbreaker from the candy store. Return fifteen minutes later, fish it out of your mouth, and demand to know why it hasn't turned blue yet.

Pay for all your purchases with two-dollar bills to provoke arguments over whether they're real.

If it's Christmas, ask the mall Santa to sit on your lap.

Answer any unattended service phones that ring in department stores and say "Domino's."

Try on flea collars at the pet store while occasionally pausing to scratch yourself. At the stylist, ask to have the hair on your back premed.

Show people your driver's license and demand to know "whether they've seen this man."

Hand a stack of pants back to the changing room attendant and scornfully announce that none of them are "leak proof".

That is a good one! Gross, but good!