Thread: An average sized wolf vs. an average sized man

Originally Posted by SYN

Man dies 3 weeks after deer gores him | The San Diego Union-Tribune

Deer kills man who kept it penned up - U.S. news - Life - msnbc.com

Then there's that other Santa guy who got impaled by his reindeer, and here in Maine, some other guy was almost mauled to death by a deer, and he even had a pocket knife on him to defend himself. If the average man has all he can do to fend of a fucking deer, I think a wolf is definitely a little too much for him to take on.

A buck? Like, a male deer with antlers? What relevance does this have?

Originally Posted by DOMS

I watched an episode of COPS where the police sent a dog after a criminal. They came around the corner of a house to find the guy holding the German Sheppard up by the neck. He wasn't even that big.

See, and that dog was trained.

I wonder if those voted for either side are voting based off of a 10 out of 10 times chance. Just wondering, it has no part of the vote.

no I don't believe the wolf would when every single time. i just consider the wolf to be heavily favored in this scenario and would put my money there

Originally Posted by AKIRA

See, and that dog was trained.

I wonder if those voted for either side are voting based off of a 10 out of 10 times chance. Just wondering, it has no part of the vote.

i think undoubtedly sometimes the man would win. men sometimes have really strong legs and a good kick to the head or face of the wolf could maybe break it's jaw or an elbow smash could. maybe he could grab a leg and break it slowing the wolf enough to gain an advantage. or get his head and break his neck. think about it, back in the days before we even had fire we had to fight animals to live even saber tooth motherfuckers and we're still here. and especially in a scenario where something like our child were at stake we have heart. the man is going to lose i'd say most out of 100 matches but not every one. 5 to 10 men would be standing.

and they would no longer be average men.

Or our pack coordination was superior. AND challenging a pack/clan is what we evolved to express....... "WAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" That's us in a group/gang or whatever you want to call what we are when we choose to dominate.

and we quickly learned how to fashion weapons because without them we were "dinner for wolf"

That and we learned to watch and wait. When the time was right we likely went to the dens to kill and eat the babies. It's what we do. We also killed their(our prey). Then it was time to dawn their skins and use them to sneak up on them to kill them, the first spies if you will.

to kill the wolf you must become the wolf grasshopper

I would do that crocodile Dundee thing and make the wolf lay down.

If that didn't work I would just straight fuck a wolf up. I'm on steroids.

Originally Posted by Little Wing

i think undoubtedly sometimes the man would win. men sometimes have really strong legs and a good kick to the head or face of the wolf could maybe break it's jaw or an elbow smash could. maybe he could grab a leg and break it slowing the wolf enough to gain an advantage. or get his head and break his neck. think about it, back in the days before we even had fire we had to fight animals to live even saber tooth motherfuckers and we're still here. and especially in a scenario where something like our child were at stake we have heart. the man is going to lose i'd say most out of 100 matches but not every one. 5 to 10 men would be standing.

and they would no longer be average men.

Ok lets not turn this into Highlander, but it took 5 pages to come to that. If there was a chance for a man to win, you listed 3 ways.

In conclusion, the vote is too one sided. The best answer really wouldve been "It depends" but I didnt include it. The trick was to see who would jump the gun and vote for whomever.

We all know who could win, it was the HOW that I wanted to hear. Thats why I included scenarios that something was at stake. All of a sudden, a man went from no way he could win to, well he could win sometimes.

ok before anyone panics upon seeing a wolf...




Fatal wolf attack unnerves Alaska village

Teacher's mauling was only second such fatal attack in North America

Fatal wolf attack unnerves Alaska village - U.S. news - Life - msnbc.com

Originally Posted by AKIRA

Ok lets not turn this into Highlander, but it took 5 pages to come to that. If there was a chance for a man to win, you listed 3 ways.

In conclusion, the vote is too one sided. The best answer really wouldve been "It depends" but I didnt include it. The trick was to see who would jump the gun and vote for whomever.

We all know who could win, it was the HOW that I wanted to hear. Thats why I included scenarios that something was at stake. All of a sudden, a man went from no way he could win to, well he could win sometimes.

this question drives you a little bonkers doesn't it?

the things is wolves don't try and eat us they avoid us for the most part which is lucky for us. i told Tess today if a wolf and man are suddenly squared off

the wolf is probably going to be standing there thinking "FINALLY!!!!!! My chance to prove to those cocksuckers in my pack a wolf could win!!!"

Bruce Willis' Instructions On Killing A Wolf With Your Bare Hands

February 8th, 2010



Bruce Willis is offering up tips on how to kill a wolf with your bare hands in a new survival article. The action man tells the new issue of "Men's Journal" magazine how to impress women, what not to drink on a heavy night out and the vital information every father should pass onto his children - but it's his precise wolf-killing skills that will impress most.

He suggests the first thing to do when attacked in the wild is to "give the wolf your arm."

He explains, "You've got to lean into it, stick your arm all the way down his throat. He can't swallow it because he's gagging on your arm. You reach in, you grab a handful of something - guts, the back of its throat, whatever you can hold - and pull it out. And try to avoid those claws while you're doing it."

Willis insists he's a wealth of manly information like that.

He adds, "If I ever get out of this acting racket, I'm going to be (TV self-help guru) Dr. Phil's competition. Except I would be the alpha-dog side and tell you how to kill a wolf with your bare hands."

Could you kill a wolf with your bare hands? - Bodybuilding.com Forums

Bare Hand Wolf Chokers Association on MySpace Comedy - Comic Clips, Funny Videos & Jokes

"1917: Fred Brown of Melrose kills a wolf with his bare hands. While walking to Ward Springs he finds a wolf hunting frogs, its back to him. Brown, momentarily forgetting that he has a hunting knife in his pocket, grabs the wolf by its tail and wrestles with it until he breaks open its head. When five or six other wolves approach him, Brown draws his knife and prepares to fight, but the wolves retreat."
I don’t know about you, but I’m with the wolf on this one. Yes, yes, we regard them now as Noble Dogs of the Wild, and people saw them as dangerous critters in the olden times of . . . of 1917, but c’mon. The wolf was hunting frogs. It’s not like he was trotting away from the orphanage with a foundling in his jaws.

Originally Posted by AKIRA

Unless its White Fang or that one dog in that one movie....bah, THEY USE PACKS!

My friend has a pretty small husky (he was the runt) and in the winter time he takes him out on 4-wheeler trails and has Dozer pull him on a snowboard. One dog is perfectly capable of towing a human, but sled dogs usually haul around a person and a sled loaded right full of gear, hence the need for a pack.

Grab his jaws and rip the fuckers apart. End of story. Or, if he has your arm in his mouth, pull something out as hard as you can.

Originally Posted by Little Wing

Could you kill a wolf with your bare hands? - Bodybuilding.com Forums

I assure you, that is NOT me. I had no idea this topic was a biggie. Neither one of my roomates is into working out to the point of joining a bodybuilding forum site either.. Now that is fucking odd.

I am jealous by the structure of that guy's thread title. It puts the listener in a more personal position. However, my room mates were average size, so I wanted to use an average person's size anyway.

In any case, it seems as if bodybuidling.com members put more thought into their answers and didnt just say they were pussies, unlike some individuals in here.....

Bruce Willis has the right idea, but hes suggesting you jam your arm down the throat. Now you got to aim as well, otherwise the wolf would grab the arm perpendicularly. I can see that being fine, but I picture the wolf letting go and trying again.

Originally Posted by AKIRA

Bruce Willis has the right idea, but hes suggesting you jam your arm down the throat. Now you got to aim as well, otherwise the wolf would grab the arm perpendicularly. I can see that being fine, but I picture the wolf letting go and trying again.

pull hard enough and he'll whimper away. The way I see it, I may go down, but I'm going down with a fight.

this debate has probably been going on before the white man even came to this continent. it's an interesting topic. i've heard the argument before but i can't recall where, i thought it was here. my father worked in remote logging camps and sometimes we'd stay with him there for weeks at a time. he always said "most animals will run from you, a few will look and then run and none of them carry guns". we roamed all through the woods with no fear, just fishing poles and bait.

Originally Posted by AKIRA

Unless its White Fang or that one dog in that one movie....bah, THEY USE PACKS!

Those dogs will pull the sled until they die if the owner doesn't make them stop and rest....those sleds are weighted down with supplies and food for the dogs....

Plus they say a wolf can go 12 days without food before he starts to get weak.....

I am sure given the right circumstances a man could punch a wolf just right and knock it out, or their is a spot right above all my dogs sternums that if I push just a little makes them choke (raise your head to look at the ceiling and you will see where I mean, dogs not standing up right expose that spot) if you could finger jab that they would probably not be able to breath like chopping a man in the adams apple...But I give the man very slim odds without the tools he has evolved to be able to use, any man in the woods with no way to protect himself has lived in the city too long and lost his instincts for survival in the wild and doesn't deserve to visit such a beautiful place, he deserves to die for not coming prepared. Hell even troglodytes knew to bring a club or a spear while trekking through the wilderness. I never took a walk in the relatively tame woods by my house without a gun or at least my hefty walking stick. Hawaii is the only place I've ever gone hiking with just a pocket knife....

A dog shagged me once. His knot nearly prolapsed me as he dismounted.