Reply With QuoteActually, stupid as it may sound, I heard some dick hean (no not me, I neither play golf nor drink beer
) tried this and actually tore the fuckers off
Kuso's Horrible Golfing Accident!
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09-12-2002, 05:54 PM #1Senior Member
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Kuso's Horrible Golfing Accident!
Based on a bet by the other members of his threesome, Kuso tried to wash his own "balls" in a ball washer at the local golf course.
Proving once again that beer and testosterone are a bad mix, Kuso managed to straddle the ball washer and dangle his scrotum in the machine. Much to his dismay, one of his buddies upped the ante by spinning the crank on the machine with Kuso's scrotum in place, thus wedging them solidly in the mechanism.
Kuso, who immediately passed his threshold of pain, collapsed and tumbled from his perch. Unfortunately for Kuso, the height of the ball washer was more than a foot higher off the ground than his testicles are in a normal stance, and the scrotum was the weakest link.
Kuso's scrotum was ripped open during the fall, and one testicle was plucked from him forever and remained in the ball washer, while the other testicle was compressed and flattened as it was pulled between the housing of the washer, and the rotating machinery inside. To add insult to injury, Kuso broke a new $300 driver that he had just purchased from the pro shop, and was using to balance himself.
Kuso was rushed to the hospital for surgery, and the remaining two were asked to leave the course.
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09-12-2002, 06:34 PM #2Um......get rooted! ELITE MEMBER
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09-12-2002, 06:54 PM #3What tan line?
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I'm just glad that you don't play golf. As far as ball washing I have the upmost confidence that you can get them washed in "other" ways.
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09-12-2002, 07:01 PM #4What tan line?
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From your post history I was sure that a mechanical ball washer was not how you would get your balls clean
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09-13-2002, 01:30 AM #5Super Hero in Training
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I was actually stationed with a guy who had his nutz ripped out! True story:
He was rappelling down a mountain, lost control, a branch was at the wrong place at the wrong time and RIP!
He went to the emergency room with his nut in his hand!
now, I cannot make this up...man, he took a lot of grief for that..
Porr old, SSgt Onenut...Success leaves clues. People who produce outstanding results do specific things to create those results
Nobody cares what you did yesterday or what you are going to do tomorrow. What is important is what you are doing NOW to solve our problem
THERE IS NO TOMORROW!
- Appollo Creed
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09-13-2002, 03:14 AM #6SoCal. Stud ELITE MEMBER
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how bad would you feel if you were the friend that turned the crank!
230_225_220_215_210_205_200_195_190_185_180
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<- that way about 20 more pounds!
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09-13-2002, 03:32 AM #7Super Hero in Training
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...he'd never have to buy beer again.....
Success leaves clues. People who produce outstanding results do specific things to create those results
Nobody cares what you did yesterday or what you are going to do tomorrow. What is important is what you are doing NOW to solve our problem
THERE IS NO TOMORROW!
- Appollo Creed
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09-13-2002, 03:36 AM #8SoCal. Stud ELITE MEMBER
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i'd cut the fuckkerwho turned the cranks nuts off while he was sleepin
230_225_220_215_210_205_200_195_190_185_180
|----|----|----|----|----|----|----|----|---|----|
<- that way about 20 more pounds!
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