Thread: loaning (losing) money

hmmm, i know someone in Florida who just died and left behind a woman just like that. he was in a terrible explosion and she never even went to the hospital to see him in the week before he died. she did however go to his apartment and help herself to whatever she wanted including his car.

i'd say if you're not really careful you're about to go for a ride.

I'm like you in that I do whatever I can to help people, but it does sound fishy.

Yes, contact social services and they should know. There are often free public services for people in her situation, if she is determined to get this done she will search on her own, I know someone very close in a similar situation who ended up eventually having to get a lawyer, even then they will impose co-parenting (unless he's a complete felon with no visitation rights) and mediation. Mediation may not be possible with the restraining order, but the court wants to get involved after everything else has been tried.

Thats here in California anyway.

Knowing how important a child is to a mother, just how hot is it that she is putting AC on that list, and not "if you could just please help me with legal fees I can survive everything else!"

$2500 will be a retaining fee, that probably won't even get you through court. They will have to research and build a case, you are quite possibly looking at 10k or more, especially if he fights, and yes you can apply for legal aid (public attorney) because of her financial situation, you can also try to force the other person to pay for your lawyer but thats up to the judge to make them pay or not. $200-$400 an hour is normal, $200 is over here something you pay if you are with a budget lawyer. People who have staff have varying rates for people who do the work involved in the case, $115 maybe for someone on the bottom, $400 up top. You do that by telling the court you wouldn't have had to go to court at all, were the other person to cooperate with x y or z, although that may not be this situation.

I'll try to ask to get more specific info Google Search

there are places that provide free legal services if she qualifies and it's very easy to get a father banned from coming near the children too on a restraining order. if he's a deadbeat all she need is to renew the restraining orders when they are due to expire. he won't bother fighting her but she needs to just accept this means no support from him. it's a small price to pay to be left alone to raise her child in peace. i have seen really shitbag men fight for custody and visitation SOLELY because the mother wanted child support.

Ask yourself why she is asking you for money.

I think the person is just desperate for money because the person is just too fucking lazy to fucking work and word rather sit at home and get stoned and eat.

The answer should be "no" then.

Yes, there are definately free legal services, or pro bono types, if she is in that much of a pickle. This situation would definately require a lawyer tho. Sounds to me like she is trying to justify the need for funds, which leads me to believe she is probably feeling guilty in asking for it. I doubt you would see the money return if you did decide to dish it out.

Why would you help a child go from one nightmare to another?

What kind of parent isn't going to work and just stay home and get stoned? You should see that the child doesn't end up in either situation....now you know

and knowing is half the battle...

well the child is taken care of. It's just something that she has known about her baby daddy since before the child was born and now 3 years later asks for money to get an attorney. Hell I asked her to cut my hair before I moved. Its 70 miles out of my way to let her do that its just an excuse for me to give her money. long story short, drove there, no answer, 3 days later a text saying sorry i was sick. Haven't heard from her much until she needs money.

Hell its not about the money its about the fact that she is coming up with an eloborate lie to hide what the money is really for.

I sent some money anyway, but only 1/4 the amount i said I would. Guess what. Not even a thank you.
I guess it would piss me off too if someone gave me money that i didnt earn or have to pay back.

It seems like a lot of people in my life have it in there head that I owe them something because my life my seem better than theirs.

At this point in time I have only one friend that I know for a fact that I can trust and has my best interests at heart. I'm 27, 28 thursday fuckers, and have one friend. Not sure if that is good or bad

Originally Posted by ROID

well the child is taken care of. It's just something that she has known about her baby daddy since before the child was born and now 3 years later asks for money to get an attorney. Hell I asked her to cut my hair before I moved. Its 70 miles out of my way to let her do that its just an excuse for me to give her money. long story short, drove there, no answer, 3 days later a text saying sorry i was sick. Haven't heard from her much until she needs money.

Hell its not about the money its about the fact that she is coming up with an eloborate lie to hide what the money is really for.

I sent some money anyway, but only 1/4 the amount i said I would. Guess what. Not even a thank you.
I guess it would piss me off too if someone gave me money that i didnt earn or have to pay back.

It seems like a lot of people in my life have it in there head that I owe them something because my life my seem better than theirs.

At this point in time I have only one friend that I know for a fact that I can trust and has my best interests at heart. I'm 27, 28 thursday fuckers, and have one friend. Not sure if that is good or bad

It is good that you are honest with yourself about the fact that most people can't be trusted. when it comes to money, I also have only 2 or 3 friends that genuinely have my best interest at heart.

Shit my only good friend is my girlfriend, the rest are just acquaintances...I do have my friends from the past spread out across the country who I know would do almost anything for me, but no one locally...problem with living half an ocean away...

Originally Posted by KelJu

It is good that you are honest with yourself about the fact that most people can't be trusted. when it comes to money, I also have only 2 or 3 friends that genuinely have my best interest at heart.

It's probaby better to only have a few close friends anyway.

as far as acquaintances, that is probably the best word to describe all of my relationships as well other than my girl.

Originally Posted by ROID

At this point in time I have only one friend that I know for a fact that I can trust and has my best interests at heart. I'm 27, 28 thursday fuckers, and have one friend. Not sure if that is good or bad

As funny as you are?? Happy birthday man, your gift is no more of teh bitchz.

i have a couple good friends but i really don't associate with them much because i think much of their friendship is motivated by wishing there was more between us. friends with my best interest at heart? you're 1 up on me.

Originally Posted by ROID

well the child is taken care of. It's just something that she has known about her baby daddy since before the child was born and now 3 years later asks for money to get an attorney. Hell I asked her to cut my hair before I moved. Its 70 miles out of my way to let her do that its just an excuse for me to give her money. long story short, drove there, no answer, 3 days later a text saying sorry i was sick. Haven't heard from her much until she needs money.

Hell its not about the money its about the fact that she is coming up with an eloborate lie to hide what the money is really for.

I sent some money anyway, but only 1/4 the amount i said I would. Guess what. Not even a thank you.
I guess it would piss me off too if someone gave me money that i didnt earn or have to pay back.

It seems like a lot of people in my life have it in there head that I owe them something because my life my seem better than theirs.

At this point in time I have only one friend that I know for a fact that I can trust and has my best interests at heart. I'm 27, 28 thursday fuckers, and have one friend. Not sure if that is good or bad

She is obviously an addict. Probably went and spent the money as soon as they recieved it. You are truly a good person, for even bothering to give any amount. I just hope that when she comes asking again, that you remember this and think twice.

Its difficult to trust people in a society like ours, everyone is always looking out for number one. When people care more about material belongings than your well-being there is something wrong. You have heart, and you did what you believed to be a good thing.

DHR lawyers are free.

fuck that . . kick that bitch to the curb, safe your money for more gears

if she cant afford to keep air conditioning in her house how the fuck she going to take care of a kid???

Originally Posted by Mudge

As funny as you are?? Happy birthday man, your gift is no more of teh bitchz.

aww....you really think I'm funny ??? I think you're a little sweet on me

whatever personality I have on here, I am 100% different in the real world. I more of a sophisticated gentlemen. Like the Dos Equis guy.

thanks for the bday wish my friend. This will be the best one to date. Maybe I will post pics

Originally Posted by Muscle_Girl

She is obviously an addict. Probably went and spent the money as soon as they recieved it. You are truly a good person, for even bothering to give any amount. I just hope that when she comes asking again, that you remember this and think twice.

Its difficult to trust people in a society like ours, everyone is always looking out for number one. When people care more about material belongings than your well-being there is something wrong. You have heart, and you did what you believed to be a good thing.

she is addicted to people taking care of her and giving her money.
Her biggest problem is dating fucking losers and keeping them around. It's strange. something is appealing to her about these situations. maybe its the drama or maybe it's a way of getting sympathy from people so they will give her things and feel sorry for her.

As far as giving twice, it's not going to happen unless it is something urgent that I can verify. I'm just not going to try and keep in touch so when she just comes out of the blue and asks for money again I will be able to say no easily

Originally Posted by TheCapt'n

fuck that . . kick that bitch to the curb, safe your money for more gears

she is a friend I grew up with back where my parents are from.

I got a good girl with me

Lock your door.

Don't answer the phone.

And... Happy Birthday!

his birthday is tomorrow... i have dibs on starting the birthday thread....

Walk the fuck away. I mean it. Nothing good, long-term, will come of this and it will only end up causing you pain and frustration.

Let it go.

Originally Posted by ROID

...word rather sit at home and get stoned and eat.

I want that job. This office stuff is bullshit.

She may not get it for as much as 10 years, if ever, but she needs to hear someone tell her to fix her life and stop fvcking with dickwads for the sake of her child(ren). Oh yeah, and stop having children with dickwads, that too, put that in there somewhere, like maybe the end or something.

Originally Posted by DOMS

Walk the fuck away. I mean it. Nothing good, long-term, will come of this and it will only end up causing you pain and frustration.

Let it go.

Sometime I think it is best to just cut ties with everyone I grew up with, except maybe 1 or 2 people. I'm not sure if I mentioned this earlier but sometimes i feel obligated to help these people because I'm in a better position in life than they are but on the other hand they think I should help them because of that very same reason.

But there is no emotional involvement with this person. I would get over any guilt from turning my back in a matter of a few days.

Originally Posted by ROID

Sometime I think it is best to just cut ties with everyone I grew up with, except maybe 1 or 2 people. I'm not sure if I mentioned this earlier but sometimes i feel obligated to help these people because I'm in a better position in life than they are but on the other hand they think I should help them because of that very same reason.

But there is no emotional involvement with this person. I would get over any guilt from turning my back in a matter of a few days.

I live pretty much the same way you do. Blood relatives and close friends instantly get a lot of credit with me. For that reason, I'm very selective about who I'll be friends with.

If she means nothing to you--if she's not a friend--let her go and don't worry about it. You may be doing better than a lot of your friends, but you also have a finite amount of resources. Save them for the people that matter to you.

Originally Posted by ROID

Sometime I think it is best to just cut ties with everyone I grew up with, except maybe 1 or 2 people. I'm not sure if I mentioned this earlier but sometimes i feel obligated to help these people because I'm in a better position in life than they are but on the other hand they think I should help them because of that very same reason.

But there is no emotional involvement with this person. I would get over any guilt from turning my back in a matter of a few days.

You can just give the money to me, I could quit my job and be a starving artist type...and you know I would just sit around writing on my novels and in my spare time I could come on here and make jokes....I would even whittle you a double barreled crossbow from walrus tusk......

Hey man, I need some money. The em, bearings just went out on my muffler and they are about to cause me to have a nervous wreck.

Please help,
hugs and stuff,
-Me

P.S. Dey is german bearings, so send a couple grand. I know it says Ford Taurus but thats what the mechanic said, german.